Tseng's Company
by Turkaholic
Summary: Reno finds himself falling in love with Tseng... but also attracting the unwanted attention of a certain vice president. Yaoi, Lemon, rape, and some good ol shonen-ai
1. Chapter 1

Final fantasy 7 – Pairings: Reno/Others

Final fantasy 7 – Pairings: Reno/Others. NC-17. Bad language! :O

Disclaimer: If Reno belonged to me, he would be chained to my wall naked right now. checks wall Nope, dont see him. Therefore, Reno still belongs to those nice people over at Square-Enix, along with all the other characters in this fanfic, see? Story: Mine. Characters: Unfortunately not.

Distribution: I don't mind if people want to archive my work. So long as you don't rip off my work, and you tell me where its going to ;)

Reviews: Mmmm, full of reviewy goodness. If nobody reviews this, I'll cry and run away to hide in a cave for twenty years... so pleeeeeeeeeease review if you want more! Oh, and flamers can go right ahead: flames make such amusing reading when I'm bored...

Thanks,

_Turkaholic_

Chapter 1

12:30

The bell rang through Shinra tower, signalling the end of the lunch break, and hundreds of people in shirt sleeves pulled on their jackets and hurried from the cafeteria level back to their offices, leaving half-eaten sandwhiches, donuts and a variety of other edible things littered around the tables.

I continued to sit in my chair, watching the hoardes of Shinra employees as they stampeded past. I leaned back and adjusted the goggles in my hair, sighing boredly as I lit up another cigarette. It was one of those days, those slow days when I had fuck all to do: On days when the Turks aren't needed, we're supposed to do paperwork, but like I've tried to explain to Tseng time and time again: that's not what I was hired for. Heh...you ought to have seen his face when I said it to him this morning - I nearly got frostbite from the ice in that stare.

The basic truth is, I'm a slob. I don't like doing anything that doesn't need to be done; I sleep in till the last possible moment before crawling out of bed. If I slept in my suit then hey, all the less for me to do now. Just add some aftershave, stick some gel in my hair and I'm good for another day. The trouble is that in most instances, this scenario takes place about half an hour after I'm supposed to be at the office, and when I finally arrive, Tseng is there to greet me with the words: 'Your wages are docked 5'.

Don't get me wrong: I don't hate this job. It's right up my street of expertise you might say. Murder, assassination, spying, kidnapping. Not exactly the most glamorous of jobs, but better than what I started out with. Hell, I dont sleep soundly in my bed, but at least I now have a bed. That alone is something I should be thankful to Shinra for.

The thing is, that when I was 'hired', they said nothing about paperwork. When they told me it was my job to kill, I didn't think I'd have to write about how I did it. So I guess this instance of laziness could be passed off as a protest against working conditions. Heh...yeah right, I don't believe it any more than Tseng would if I told him. The fact is I'm a bum, and by now everybody knows it. That's why nobody bothers telling me to get a move on anymore, and why the cafeteria staff are used to me hanging round at unusual hours. Most of the waitresses try to casually hang round me as much as possible. They like the way I make them feel good, or so they say.

There was one of them there now, cleaning the table in front of me, conveniently bending over the table so I could see the top of a lacy black thong peeking out from the top of her tight black miniskirt. I'd be lying if I said it didn't turn me on, but to tell the truth... stuff like that doesn't do as much for me as it used to. Over the past year, it had been dawning on me more and more that perhaps... my interests in that department lie... _elsewhere_. Perhaps I'd seen too many 'lacy black thongs' in my time, and I was getting bored of them. In any case, ol' Reno here was beginning to consider batting for both teams.

I carried on sitting there, vaguely enjoying the view in front of me, and not bothering to conceal the grin when she turned round to see if I was watching. What can I say? I'm damn sexy, and I dont need modesty to get what I want. If I'd asked her to come with me to my office right then, she'd probably have said yes. It was just too easy.

Suddenly another figure loomed up beside me and clapped a gigantic hand on my shoulder. Fuck! I nearly had a goddamn heart attack. The grip on my shoulder tightened and I yelped, trying to get the hand off me, but my skills are speed not strength so I could do nothing but squirm as Rude loosened his grip and sat down opposite me, laughing deeply. '_Yeah, thanks Rude_', I thought, rubbing the life back into my shoulder '_great pal you are._'

"Reno." he snorted through the laughter, and I frowned across at him.  
"Rude." I said sulkily and looked down at the half eaten burger in front of me. It was easier on the eyes than Rude's all weather sunglasses glinting back at me. Why he wears those goddamned things all day every day I really dont know. I don't even know if he actually has eyes under there. Maybe he just had them glued to his face as a kid.

Rude stopped laughing and his head inclined to the side, probably in an attempt to see my downturned face.

"Something wrong?"

"Just the usual." I sighed. In traditional Renoian, it translates as: "I'm bored as fuck and Tseng is pissing me off." Rude seemed to understand and grunted, nodding sagely. I picked up a bit of soggy lettuce from my burger and flicked it idly at Rude, who pretended not to notice. For some reason it really irked me how he always did that. I swear, sometimes it was like working with a brick wall. Just when I needed entertaining, Rude would turn up...and make me more bored than I already was.

"You want somethin'?" Rude ran a hand across his bald head before answering.

"Tseng..." I cringed at the name, "...wants your report on materia usage by the end of the day."

"Tseng always wants my report by the end of the day, man. He needs to remove the stick from up his ass once in a while, give it a rest."

Rude snorted again, but this time he stopped mid snort like he'd just remembered something important.

"Yeah Reno, but this is different. Rufus wants to see them."

At this point, I'd started eating the burger I'd left, and my mouth was full of half chewed food when the name Rufus escaped his lips. I went to swallow in surprise before I realised and began to choke on my food. Bits of burger heading out in all directions most unattractively and going down my suit. I could feel the kitchen staff watching me from a distance as I pounded at my own chest, trying to dislodge the piece of meat stuck in my windpipe. Rude just sat there like a stupid dummy. After about 30 seconds I breathed again and wiped the pieces of semi-digested food from my shirt. Rude continued to stare, but I could see a smirk forming across his face.

"Bastard." I croaked and he laughed harder, his chest rising and falling as hoarse laughter fell from him. Till this point I'd never noticed how tight Rude's muscles were under that shirt. I couldn't help but let my eyes wander over him for a moment... DAMN! Stop it! Rude and me are friends, nothing more. Anyway, he's far too 'manly' for anything like that to happen. He just likes the women too damn much.

"It's true though Reno. Rufus is in charge of the military side of things now that his old man's working on Neo-Midgar. He's letting his prick of a son take some of the work off his hands."

I stared up at Rude as though he'd just told me the devil himslef was coming to town, and Rude stared back from behind that pair of goddamn expressionless shades, but he was smirking as well.

"And where the fuck did you find that out?" I wailed miserably, still picking bits of food off my suit.

"Yesterday's all staff meeting, Reno."

"You mean the one I fell sleep in?"

"You fall asleep in every goddamn meeting."

I grinned at him for a minute. Well, it was true enough, I did. There was nothing more fulfilling for me in this job than taking a nap in one of the president's meetings. It's not like I ever missed anything important in them. The Turks were like Shinra Inc's bastard son - nobody ever really mentioned them in polite conversation, and they were only ever spoken to if there was no other choice. But apparently this time I had missed something, and it had fucked up my day well and truly. That'll teach me not to pay attention.

Rufus though...that pompous prick of a vice president was in charge of the military now? He wouldn't let me get away with missing a deadline...no way. With Tseng it was so easy: despite that evil glare that made me feel like scum, I could just say 'I'll get it to you tomorrow' and hire some low-level Shinra clerk to do it for me. With Rufus it wouldn't be so easy - he was a deadline _obsessive_. If I didn't hand that report in by the end of the day...  
I. Would. Be. Screwed.

And I needed this job, badly. It was a choice between this and the slums - and I'd seen enough of them to last me a lifetime...more than a lifetime. If I never went back down there again, it would be too soon.

I was shaken from my thoughts by Rude speaking.

"You know, Reno, If you did this shit at the start of the day like you were supposed to you wouldn't have to do this."

I cringed and looked up at him. No smile there now though, he was being serious. Me and Rude have this freaky relationship whereby we tease, taunt, insult, prank and inflict pain on each other and yet when it comes to it, we actually sorta care for each other. He's the only real friend I have in this place. As a former slum-rat I'm usually avoided by the executives unless they need something in case they catch something - a sense of humour maybe. Rude's from the slums too, and he befriended me when nobody else would. I guess even for murderers like us, its important to keep something of a normal social life.

"Aw, hell, you sound like Tseng. Don't feed me the motivational crap Rude, I've heard it before."

Rude stood up, looming over me as he came to full height. As he passed he grabbed my shoulder again, pressing harder than last time.

"Prick!" I cried and shrugged him off, again Rude just laughed.

"I'd hurry up and eat that burger if I were you. Rufus wants these reports on his desk by four."

"Shit! Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Tseng wouldn't let me. He said it might be good for you if we lighted a fire under your ass for a change."

"Bastard." I lamented as I grabbed my jacket, but this time it wasn't directed at Rude. He chuckled to himself as I fled from the canteen, running up the stairs like a hare to get back to my office. I just had to finish that damn report on time.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Shitshitshitshit..." I whispered to myself as I leapt up the stairs, getting some weird looks from other employees pottering up the stairs with their arms full of files. Why did Tseng like to see me in such fucking pain? This was going to be one crappy afternoon. Sliding the door open to level 69, I closed the staircase door and turned around to be faced with... Tseng. just standing there like he was waiting for me, a look on his face that conveyed disgust and amusement all in one. I took a step back involuntarily and watched as Tseng actually smirked at me. I know this sounds crazy, but at that moment, hidden among the fear and anxiety was...lust. I had this vision of him walking up to me, wrapping his hands in my hair and covering my lips with his. That vision had been present for a while actually, that's partly the reason I'd considered my being bi.

One day a few months back, I'd caught myself eyeing him up as he walked by. That tight ass and buffed physique got to me in the worst way, and that night I had my first erotic dream about a guy. Ever.

The thing is I find him damned attractive, and yet I'm totally scared shitless of the guy. He makes me feel self conscious, like he's inspecting me all the time, and nothing I do is ever good enough for him, which is total shit in any case but I still can't shake the feeling from my head...or that vision. However, for me, Tseng's forbidden fruit: he's my boss, and I have no idea if he sways that way anyway.

"I wondered when we'd have the honour of your company, Reno." He said silkily, and handed me a wad of paper even as I caught my breath from the run.  
'Annual member report for materia usage rates - The Turks special operations. Employee no. 74891 - Reno 'Midgar'.'

Shinra always called those without last names 'Midgar', like a dog tag or something. I didn't know my parents, so I didn't know if I had a last name. As for my first name 'Reno', it was something I'd been labelled with in the slums, more of a nickname really. I didn't have a proper first name, so I let Reno stick when Shinra picked me up.

"Rufus expects this completed by four."

"How long did yours take?"

"Six hours."

"Fuck."

"_And_ you can take it up to him personally. I'm far too busy to run errands for someone like you."

I didn't even get the chance to retort, as Tseng simply turned and swept away towards his office at the end of the corridoor, that beautiful yet damn annoying ass drawing my eye to it as he strode away. I stood in the corridoor a few minutes more as though held by a spell. When he finally slammed his door shut the spell shattered, and I looked down at the wad of paper in my hand.

"...malicious bastard." I hissed under my breath, and flicked through the essay titles and questionnaires inside the report.

"Malicious bastard!" I hissed a bit louder, and slumped off to my office, growling with annoyance.

Okay, Reno, there's nothing to it. Just focus, and you'll be done with plenty of time to spare.

Yeah I know, I didn't believe it either. I looked at the title page again:  
'_Annual member report for materia usage rates._'

Holy fuck was that a brain-cell killing title! I've always thought people would be so much happier if the forms they filled in had interesting names...like '_Materiamatic!_' or '_The splendiferous materia report of old Midgar town!_'

...

Okay Reno, you're going off topic. Concerntrate.

I took a deep breath and opened page one. An essay.

'_On average, practical employees of Shinra, Inc. are issued with 4.7 pieces of materia per annum. Do you think that this is an acceptable amount? Please state your reasons._'

Oh crap. Question one and I had no idea how to answer it. Meh...I'd skip that one for now.

'_Personal materia usage:  
How many pieces of materia do you currently have?_'

Well, there were two in my electro-rod, one in my belt, and then I always...

Oh fuck this! I was majorly stressed, as could be told from the erratic scrabbling for my cigarettes as I stared blankly at the paper. God damn you Tseng! God damn you... and your fine body.

I let my mind linger on that for a moment, imagining those dark lashed eyes staring at me lustfully, those dark solid hands roaming over my chest and neck, slowly making their way southwards as he rubbed himself against me. I closed my eyes and leaned back, cupping myself with a hand over my trousers. The mistake had been to close my eyes. Visions of Tseng licking my neck and touching me rapidly turned into dream, and like the stupid prick I am... I fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Reviews: Reviews are the best thing you can do for me

Reviews: Reviews are the best thing you can do for me. Literally, they make me want to write more and give me a lil buzz that really helps so be a shiny person and review!

Chapter 3

I was woken by the sound of a telephone ringing. I was almost instantly awake, shooting forwards in my chair and looking down at the blank report. '_Reno, you stupid piece of shit! You fell asleep!_'

I stared up at the clock on the wall and my eyes literally shot wide open.

16:30, the luminous numbers glowed out at me from up on my office wall.

I had to do this report in minus thirty minutes.

The light up phone on my desk rang again after a moment, and...was it just me, or did that ringing sound angry somehow? Holy hell, that was probably Rufus now, trying to find out where that report had got to. I gulped loudly as I picked up the reciever and tried to sound as unconcerned as possible when I answered.

"Your report was due half an hour ago." Came Rufus' icy voice an a tone that sounded like he was hissing. I shuddered at the sound. Hey, I'm no wimp, but I'll admit I was kinda scared of him... yeah, me and every other damn person in Shinra HQ. He has this look about him that makes you wonder if he's actually thinking about the best way to dispose of your body, rather than what he's talking about. I mean, he's handsome and all, and Scarlet the old hag's apparently tried to have her wicked way with him (wether she's succeeded, I really dont want to guess) but he's got this freaky look in his eye that makes him seem dangerous. I remained silent for a second and then began to think of an excuse as I spoke.

"Uhh...yeah. Sorry sir." I stuttered. 'Come on Reno!' I thought, 'Lying's what you're best at...think of something!' "But you see, I-"

"I don't give a damn about the excuses." Rufus snapped from the other end. "Just bring me that report. Now."

The phone on the other end was slammed down before I had a chance to plead my case. Oh shit, he sounded pretty pissed.

I looked down at the empty report again, trying to think of a legitimate excuse, something... something like I'd use on Tseng. Nothing came to mind. All my excuses sounded like... well, excuses. Excuses that vice president Rufus bastard Shinra would never buy into. It was at this point I decided that - god help me - I was going to tell the truth. Yeah, I know, it shocked me too.

Eventually stood up, clutching to the desk to steady myself as I passed by it and headed out into the corridoor. The 429 steps I had to take to Rufus' office felt like a death march. Neither Tseng nor Rude were anywere around, probably having finished up their paperwork and headed out early, and the normally buzzing top floor of Shinra Tower felt all but deserted. It was incredibly quiet: I felt like I was about to go mad, and when I finally reached the door with Rufus' name on it, it took all my willpower to actually touch the doorhandle and turn it. I don't know what I was expecting: To be docked a week's pay, maybe? To be demoted to some crummy office worker? I think it took me an entire minute to open that goddamn door, and when I finally did, the sinister looking vice president was sitting at his desk, looking across at me with daggers in his eyes.

"Reno?" He said, with what pretty much sounded like disgust.

"Sir?" I payed back and looked at the floor. Damn I hate Rufus' eyes! They're the eyes of a psychopath, and I dreaded to think what they'd look like when the truth came out. I saw Rufus stir in his chair out of the corner of my eye.

"Where's the report Reno? I see nothing in your hands."

I flexed my fingers, feeling infinitely awkward at the sudden prospect of telling him the truth. Damn but why couldn't I just find a lie that sounded feesable? I suddenly felt like a kid called to the headmaster's office. I could feel a blush beginning to form across my cheeks. Woah, a blush!? I never blushed! Why in hell then was it happening now? I felt Rufus' eyes bore into me. Shit this was gonna be hard.

"I didn't finish it on time, sir."

There was a thick pause as the words sort of melted into him. After a long moment I forced myself to look at him, expecting a look of anger or hate or some damn thing. The thing is it was somehow worse when I realised that he was looking at me with insane calm as though he thought I was joking. I couldn't help but flinch as he moved in his chair. After another brief pause he pulled a file across the table towards him and opened it slowly.

What? Was that it? Was he just going to let me go without so much as a warning? No way. There had to be more to it than that. It was then I realised what the file he was looking at actually was. It was my personnel file. I stood there and watched nervously as he flicked through the pages of my life. There were only a few pages actually, most of which were my previous criminal record. I can tell you one thing: It gets pretty damn depressing when your criminal record takes up most of your biography.

"How long have you been a Shinra Inc. Employee?"

Huh? If he had my record then he already knew. There was obviously some kind of trick question there, so I said it slowly, as if that'd make any difference.

"Two years, two months." I said, and watched as Rufus skimmed through my file again. Another pause, and I felt myself beginning to sweat nervously. This wasn't like me at all. Even with Tseng I still had some sort of power over the situation, but Rufus was different. He was the boss' son, and the vice president. He had one hell of a lot of power, and if I wanted to survive and retain the use of my legs then I'd better keep my loud mouth shut.

Damn, but why was he drawing this out so long? Just whack my ass, tell me I'm bad and send me on my way. That was what people normally did with me, but I could see something behind that psychopathicly handsome face of his. No, I wasn't out of deep water yet. Rufus seemed to have a plan for me. I gulped silently and stood still.

"And in those two years, two months, did nobody teach you the importance of punctuality?"

'_Dont speak, Reno,_' I reminded myself silently, '_it's a rhetorical question._' Rufus leaned back in his chair, copying his father's trend of steepling his fingers in front of him.

"I've been looking at your personnel file, Reno. Your punctuality is abysmal, you've been accused of disorderly conduct twice, insubordination twelve times, and forbidden intra-office relationships seventeen. You've had more days off than any single executive this year, and the amount of Gil written down beside your name for replacement equipment is phenomenal..." He trailed off, leaving my file open on the desk and walking over to sit on his couch, his hands on his knees as he leaned back against the cushion. Fucking hell! And I thought Tseng was the only one who could make me feel this low! I mumbled some sort of apology, though the syllables seemed to trip over each other on the way from my mouth. Little bastard Shinra had inherited his father's gift for making people feel inferior, that's for damn sure. I glanced over at Rufus, who stared back at me. Silence. Shit just get it over with! This dragging was beginning to make me feel really nervous.

"I hear you came from the slums. Sector 6...one of the Don's gang, I have no doubt?"

I nodded, not wanting to encourage him. Why in hell was he dragging my past into this? The part of my life I'd rather not remember, working for that fat bastard and getting...well, you don't really need to know my history, but the point is that my past's always been a tender spot for me, so most of the time I'd rather not remember it at all. I was one of the Turks now, I didn't need to remember.

Rufus watched as I nodded, scanning me for a minute with hard blue eyes. Then he sighed.

"Well..." He said slowly, "all things considered, I see no other option but to return you to the slums."


	4. Chapter 4

NOTE: sorry to burst the plot bubble early, but the next 2 chapters have some pretty graphical Yaoi lemon stuff

NOTE: sorry to burst the plot bubble early, but the next 2 chapters have some pretty graphical Yaoi lemon stuff. you want the list? then: Yaoi, lemon, oral, anal. Bursting the plot bubble even further, these chapters contain what is tecnically rape. I really didn't want to ruin the surprise for ya, but the rules say I have to give warning, so give warning I must.  
Also: Reviews reviews reviews! For just one review, you can feed my entire ego for a week. Wow isn't that something?

Chapter 4

"...What?"

That was most definitely not the answer I had been expecting. He'd... he'd just fired me? My blood literally ran cold. Return to the slums? Never. I'd rather die than go back to that hell.

"Oh fuck no..." I whispered, forcing myself to keep calm. Panicking wouldn't get me anywhere right now. But still...the thought of going back to Don Corneo... I looked at Rufus, frowning back the unmanly tears I desperately wanted to break into. He just shrugged his shoulders casually.

"The truth is, Reno, you're a burden on the Turks. Do you have any idea how many complaints Tseng has filed against you over the past year? It's just that my father was always too busy to take notice of them. Shinra Inc can't afford to be paying employees who don't pull their weight."

"But I can pull my weight!" I found myself saying before I knew it. Rufus looked up at me in surprise. Damn my big mouth! But I had to say something, I had to talk my way out of this situation somehow. The Turks was all I had, and I had to damn well hold onto it.

"I'll work my ass off from now on! I'll be polite to Tseng. Hell, I'll even do fucking overtime if that's what you want! Just..." I sighed, not liking the submissive tone in my voice, but unable to stop it, "just don't send me back. I'll do anything."

Did those words really just come from me? The voice was mine, I felt my lips moving but, it didn't sound like something Reno, the smart mouthed punk of the Turks would say. It just sounded too damn defeatist to be me. Something flashed in Rufus' eyes then that hadn't been there before. He stirred and took his hands off his knees, bringing them up to his thighs as he sat forwards.

"...Anything?"

There was something in the way he said it that made me turn away from his gaze. Man how I wished I was drunk at this moment! How much easier it would be to say this. I swallowed thickly and kept my eyes away from his.

"Anything." I answered finally. This was so degrading, goddamn it! What the fuck did he want from me, tears? I could've easily given him that as well. Shit, what happened to me? I'm Reno: the sexy, easy going ladies man (at least that's my reputation) and yet two minutes with Rufus fucking Shinra, and I was beaten and dangerously close to a nervous breakdown. I'd rather hurl myself out of Rufus' office window than go back to Don Corneo.

I was brought back to the present when the silence was interrupted by Rufus shuffling about on the sofa. I wondered what he was doing, but I really couldn't bring myself to look at him, so I kept looking out his skyscraper window, watching fumes rise from Reactor 7 into the afternoon sky. Then...

I heard the sound of a zipper. A zipper?! I couldn't resist looking any more, and when I did, I swear my eyes nearly jumped out of their sockets.

What in God's name...?

While I'd been looking out the window, Rufus had positioned himself on the very edge of the sofa, his legs open and the zip of his flies undone. He was staring at me still, with that psychopathic glint in his eyes more than ever. Call me naive, call me stupid, but I could not believe what he was doing, and as I watched, embarrased but unable to move, it only just started to dawn on me what he might be planning on.

He slipped a hand down his chest and through the gap in his trousers, feeling around for a moment before he brought his dick out, already starting to get hard in his hand. I felt completely paralysed. For once, Reno, loudest mouth in Midgar, was silenced. Rufus just sat there, staring up at me.

What. The. Hell? Did he expect me to say something? I don't think I'd have had the capacity to speak even if he'd asked me to: my brain had frozen over and shut down. It was just my consciousness left now, and holy fuck was I wishing that that would shut down too, as I now knew pretty damn well what he wanted from me.

Rufus shifted and moved his hand away, leaving his half aroused penis there for me to see. His cold eyes tried to pierce me for a moment, before I saw the arousal form in his eyes. He let a tiny smirk form on his lips.

"Suck."

I hesitated. That hadn't been a request, it had been an order, and he looked at me darkly as if daring me to refuse. Inwardly I cringed, even if outwardly I looked like I'd been struck down. He had me where he wanted me, and he fucking knew it. I thought about the choice: Go back to Don Corneo, or be Rufus' private cock sucker? Fuck it, I really had no choice! I walked slowly towards him, feeling so low and sordid it was surreal. I don't think, in all my life, both in the slums or up here on the plate, I've ever felt as uncomfortable as I did right then, my face burning red, and Rufus' dangerous, superior eyes boring into me. I couldn't look him in the eye... not that I needed to, where I was heading. I kept my gaze low and then knelt in between his legs. Up above me, I heard Rufus growl in anticipation as I went to take his length gingerly into my hands.

And what the hell do I do now?! Surprisingly enough, I've never had to suck anyone's dick before, and I had no idea how to start. I mean goddamn it, up until a few months ago, I'd always considered myself straight as a die. I licked the end slowly, still an a total state of disbelief as Rufus' hands gripped my gelled hair expectantly. It actually made the situation easier to handle, now that my brain was all but shut down. I guess I was in shock at that point...this wan't exactly what I'd call conventional punishment, after all. Eventually I figured that the only way to do this would be to follow what had been done to me before. I closed my eyes and remembered the sensations... the feel of lips sliding over my skin. I took a deep breath and started to lick, using my tongue to stroke the underside of Rufus' manhood until he had a full erection. I didn't look up, but I could hear that son of a bitch moaning as my tongue flicked along his sensitive skin. The hands in my hair tightened their grip so much that it actually hurt me. I dont think Rufus was too concerned with how I was right now though: I glanced up to see him staring at the ceiling, his eyes glazed over. Well, at least that meant I was doing something right.

I closed my eyes again, leaning into his erection but this time taking it into my mouth. It was the weirdest sensation...having another guy's cock inside my mouth. I took him into my mouth slowly, inch by inch, unsure still of what in hell I was doing. He wasn't big, but I still nearly gagged as the base of it touched my lips. I heard another groan as I started to suck, drawing back and carressing Rufus' tip with my tongue. The grip in my hair tightened and I couldn't help but let out a whimper of pain against his erection, but I didn't have a chance to recover as Rufus, seeing me stop, thrust his hips forward, forcing me to carry on. This time I did gag, and I had to take a breath before starting again. This time I learned my lesson and restrained his hips against the sofa, bobbing my head now I was getting used to the feeling of what I was doing, but still...was this taking fucking ages or what? It felt like a goddamn eternity, kneeling between Rufus Shinra's legs, his dick in my mouth like a little bitch. That term pretty much described me in the situation right now: Shinra's bitch, the vice president's cock sucker. Fuck, how incredibly low did I feel right then? I carried on sucking and plunging, getting faster so Rufus would cum as fast as possible, so I could get the hell out of there. Just as I was thinking this, Rufus let out a deep groan and pulled at my hair, forcing me to take him all the way in.

"Faster!" Was all I heard before Rufus gripped to my hair, starting to pull me roughly towards him and then pushing me away. I whimpered again as he practically threw my fucking head back. The thing is the sound I made just spurred him on and he just dragged me on and off him at nearly double the speed. I could taste pre-ejaculate dripping onto my tongue as I clenched my eyes shut, pretty fucking sure my neck was about to snap at any moment. The son of a bitch above me began to hyperventilate, still keeping a palm gripped tightly in my long hair as I felt him start to swell in my mouth. I decided I wanted this done with as soon as possible, and I did know one trick to make that happen. I trailed a hand down his inner thigh and further, carressing the sacs of his balls through his trousers.

Apparently, that was what pushed him over the edge, and he finally came with a deep moan. His eyes clenched tight as his load pumped into my mouth. For a second, my brain went into freeze mode again, and I forgot how to swallow, or maybe I just didn't want to. By the time I convinced my damn throat to work, cum was already oozing down my chin.

About ten seconds later, Rufus finally let go of my hair and pulled away from me. I settled down on my knees and wiped the load from my chin onto my jacket, writing this entire scenario off as some nightmare. I didn't look up - I couldn't fucking look up! I'd just given my boss a head and I was shaking. I'll admit it - I was scared. Heh...not very often a Turk gets scared. The thing is, I wasn't scared of the fact I'd given Rufus a head, I was scared because... because I could feel my own penis starting to go hard. I was scared because I'd half enjoyed it.


	5. Chapter 5

Note: Same as the last chapter, this once has: Yaoi, Lemon, bad language, and what is, tecnically, rape

Note: Same as the last chapter, this once has: Yaoi, Lemon, bad language, and what is, tecnically, rape.

Reviews: Thank you to you nice people who've reviewed this already It's nice to know other people like this. To all the nice people who haven't reviewed it yet: Please do! Tell me if you like it, tell me if you hate it, then I can either improve on it, or carry on writing. Any review is welcome. I won't bite your head off... I promise ;)

Chapter 5

Rufus leaned back against the cushion, panting still as I wiped the last of his load from around my mouth.

"Not bad. I never knew you had it in you, Reno." If this were a different scenario, there would be hundreds of innuendos about those last words ready to escape my mouth right now. But this wasn't a different scenario, and I was confused as fuck. I'd just given Rufus Shinra - the most pompous bastard in the whole of Midgar a head and I... I was getting turned on by it? Fuck! How screwed up must my mind be? I felt lower than a piece of scum on a Zolom's ass, yet it was making me hard too. I eventually looked up at him through strands of my hair that had been pulled out of place by his grip. He was looking down at me with what looked like amusement. I can only guess what the hell I must have looked like: scared yet passive, like I felt. I mean... this _was_ all some sick dream, right? Some freaking sadistic trick played on me by my own subconscious? I was half expecting to wake up in my bed any minute, and it must have come across in my face, because Rufus just smirked at me.

"Well...you've certainly proved to me you have the skills to stay a Turk..." He said, and I turned away, looking at some insignificant piece of fluff on the floor. I suddenly felt his eyes roaming over me, like lazers. That cold blue burning into me, and settling over...my pants? What? Oh...oh shit. He must have noticed the bulge where my semi was starting to show. I tried to ignore it, wishing he'd tell me to leave now, but he didn't, and I noticed his cock was still half aroused, even after what I'd done. He leaned forwards until our faces were barely an inch apart.

"But do you have the devotion to work for Shinra?"

"Devotion?" I said, looking up at him in confusion. Rufus looked serious, yet I fucking well knew there was more to it. I gulped loudly, to which Rufus smirked, leaning in closed.

"What would you do for Shinra?"

I blinked slowly, knowing damn well where this question was leading, but I also knew damn well I couldn't refuse, unless I wanted to end my days like I started: sleeping on the streets and cowering to that bastard Don. There really wan't a choice...heh... just tattoo me 'bitch'. I had no alternative and Rufus knew that. I could see it in his eyes.

"Anything." I said resignedly. He had me well and truly beaten, I may as well just let him get it over with. He put a hand under my chin, forcing me to look into those cruel cold eyes as a grin spread across his face. He was no longer trying to hide what he wanted from me. He knew the situation, I knew the situation, why pretend?

"Show me that devotion Reno."

I closed my eyes so I didn't have to see those eyes and I sighed. Now this next sentence would really fucking hurt.

"What do you want me to do?" Now...is it just me, or did that sound like defeat in my voice? And if it was defeat then why in the hell was my erection getting harder as I spoke? Apparently Rufus noticed it, and he let out a grunt of a laugh at my expense.

"Go over to the desk."

I stood up silently, my body working on autopilot and doing what Rufus commanded, wether I wanted it to or not. I could feel strands of hair sticking to my face with sweat. Nervous sweat, I guess. I mean I'd never fucked a guy, so I had no idea what he'd want me to do next. Women were my area of expertise: give me a woman, I'd no what to do with her, but give me a man... Let's just say that this was a learning curve for me. A sudden learning curve, but a learning curve nonetheless.

I went and stood by Rufus' desk, looking down at my still open personnel file, my photo staring back up at me with a cheesy grin plastered on its face. I remembered when that photo was taken: I'd been so happy to have made it into the Turks that I'd gone out and got completely plastered. Next morning, this photo was taken, and I'd still been pissed.

'_Stupid prick_' I thought to myself as Rufus came up behind me, 'you never thought you'd have to do this to keep your job, did you?'

Rufus' hands suddenly gripped my shoulders and he walked me forwards until my hips touched the edge of the desk, then he leaned over my shoulder, his hot breath beating on the back of my neck. I tried to hold it back, fucking hell did I try! But when he did that, I couldn't help but let out a quick pant. His hands began to slip down from my shoulders but stopped when he came to the bottom of my jacket, which he pulled off me and threw across the room. I shuddered at the loss of warmth and was rewarded by Rufus' cock digging into my back. I frowned as Rufus then began to unbutton my shirt. Oh hell, I could cope with letting him do what he wanted, but please...I hoped that I wouldn't have to let him do it naked.

He finished undoing my shirt and let it hang open as his hands slid down my chest and stomach. Through all of this he didn't say a word, but he carried on breathing hotly down my neck. A second later, both of his hands slid past my waistband and down into my boxers.

I leaned hard on the desk in front of me and groaned, either from surprise or arousal or both, and felt as his fingertips caressed my skin, making me go completely hard. For a minute I forgot where I was, concentrating more on the sensations running through my body. I forgot it was Rufus who was doing this to me. Rufus?! No, for a milisecond I imagined it was me and Tseng, lying on some distant Wutaian beach, his fucking gorgeous tanned body lying next to me as he touched me...

I woke up from that when Rufus laughed quietly in my ear and retracted his hands. I resisted the urge to whimper. At this point I still had a tiny bit of self control left, and as long as it lasted I wasn't going to give that son of a bitch the satisfaction, so I just gripped the table nervously as he undid my button fly on my pants. So goddamn slow it was painful. My undone pants slipped down my thighs to the floor and my boxers were pulled down, little by little, until I could feel my bare ass pressed up against his groin, his cock still digging into my lower back as we stood like that for a moment. Nothing happened.

Fucking hell, this was unbearable! Everything was taking too long! My brain was struggling to carry on convincing my psyche that this was all a dream, and by the time my mind figured out this was all really happening, I was planning on being buried deep in a bottle of violently strong vodka, trying to pass this off as a cheese-induced dream.

Suddenly I realised why he'd paused. I heard the sound of something oily being squeezed from a tube, and then the sound as he rubbed whatever it was over his hands. I felt his chest press against my back and I realised he'd taken his shirt off too. I could feel the sweat from what I'd done to him earlier seeping though onto my skin as he leaned over my shoulder again and licked my ear. Oh to hell with self control! I let my eyes roll back into my head and bucked my hips involuntarily against the side of Rufus' desk. Then I felt an oily hand creeping down the bottom of my back. I froze. It's true I'd never been with a guy before, but I had a vague idea of what was coming next. Rufus' other hand came back up to my shoulder and pushed me forwards so that I was actually leaning across his desk, my elbows propping me up as I let out a long breath. A few seconds later, a single finger entered my ass.

I gritted my teeth, trying to ignore the discomfort I was in. I tried to keep it to myself, but I let out a whimper at the feeling and Rufus behind me just laughed, telling me to relax. Yeah, like that was going to help me any. How can anyone relax when someone's...got a...

I actually found, after a few seconds that I _was_ starting to relax. My breathing wasn't so fast and shallow and it didn't feel as strange to me. He started to draw out and plunge back in slowly as my muscles got used to it. After about 20 seconds of this, he hit my prostate. I groaned loudly and bucked forcefully at the new sensation, panting for a moment afterwards as Rufus continued to work my walls into relaxing. A few seconds later he slipped in a second finger. It was uncomfortable again, but I found if I just concetrated on my breathing, the pain and discomfort got easier. Hey, considering I'd never done anything like this before, I'd say I was handling it all pretty well.

"They say the Turks have to be quick learners," He whispered into my ear. I closed my eyes as he continued to work his fingers inside me. "I'd say you're proving that point pretty well." And then he slid a third finger into me. For a moment the pain was enough to make me cry out, but then... then I got used to it again. It was still uncomfortable, and my breathing halted every now and then but as Rufus carried on I began to calm down. Hell, I even began to like it. A couple of times he brushed past my prostate and I gasped, bucking and grinding pathetically against the side of Rufus' desk. By this point, I think my panick siren had wailed itself to a standstill, and I'd replaced it with my 'fuck it, its happening so you may as well enjoy it' mode. Still...

I clenched my teeth. This was taking too long. I could feel my member throbbing painfully as he just leisurely used his fingers to ease my ass. I couldn't take it anymore. I was desperate for it to be over. I wanted to write this off as a dream as soon as possible, and forget the fact that Rufus pretty-boy bastard Shinra was actually pressing my buttons by doing this. I felt like I was about to explode.

"Ah... fucking hell." I moaned, and steadied myself on the table with my elbows. I felt like such a...little bitch was the only term I could think of at the time, but I just couldn't help it: my hormones had taken over, and what came from my mouth next surprised even me:

"Please. Just get this over with...just do what you have to do." I felt his fingers stop moving as I spoke. I'd just begged? I never begged. In sexual situations, I'd always been the dominating one, and most of the women I attract like it that way, but now I wasn't. Rufus was in control of everything, and thinking about it scared me senseless. The fact that I was prepared to beg scared me. Still...first time for everything eh?

Another pause. I'd started figuring by now that Rufus liked silence, and making me wait. It seemed an odd time to figure this, but in that pause I began to work out that the first time I'd seen that look in his eyes was when I'd begged for my job. So that meant...what? He was domineering? Or was there more to it than that? Begging was definitely one of his buttons though - I could feel moisture dripping from his tip down my lower back in that pause. Oh hell I wanted...needed him to get this over with so badly. I had the urge to whimper in frustration then, but I held it back. 'Come on Reno, you're a Turk. You're a man. Take it like a man.'

Heh...you know it's funny. I never thought I'd be taking that advice literally.

It was the most humiliatingly long pause in my life, Leaning over Rufus' table, my shirt open and my boxers pulled down, my own stiff erection digging into the side of Rufus' desk, while I heard that same oily sound coming from behind me. I tried to think of other things: the chocobo racing, jelly donuts, the goddamn twelve times table! Anything but what he was about to do to me. Excited pants were coming from Rufus as he brought his penis back into contact with my skin, now oily and slick as he moved it down and pressed it against my hole. Oh crap, this plan wasn't working. How could I ignore the fact that the vice president had me sprawled over his desk, practically letting him do whatever he wanted to me while I just lay there waiting? Okay Reno, deep breaths...calm down.

I felt Rufus lean over me, pressing my body against the desk. His mouth rested behind my ear. I didn't open my eyes, instead my brows just formed into a knot as I felt him sweep my ponytail over my shoulder.

"I have an appiontment with Heidigger soon." He said, and then I almost felt him smirk as he began to tremble. "So let's make this quick, shall we?" And then he thrust into me.

The pain I felt was fucking indescribable. I'll give him his dues, his first thrust wasn't that bad, but the second time, he held back nothing, and I was still in a whole world of pain for at least 30 seconds afterwards. I arched up from the desk as far as I could without breaking my goddamn back, and I remember screaming, though it must've been a silent scream or Rufus would have told me to shut my damn mouth. My eyes were clenched so tight I could see white specks under my eyelids, and the next thing I knew, I was splayed completely across the desk, whimpering as Rufus pulled my thighs apart to give him better access. I clawed at the paperwork around me and shuddered. Rufus was getting impatient: now that the pain was dimmed, I could feel him literally pounding into me. All I could do was whimper louder as the pain and pleasure of what he was doing melded together.  
I wanted to tell that son of a bitch to ease up, to stop, to go easy on me, but my brain had turned to mush so all I could manage to say was two words. Two goddamn pathetic words that I would later seriously regret saying:

"It...hurts." was all I could manage. Sure Reno, that was a fucking helpful thing to say...very eloquent. Still...it did have some effect on Rufus. Not the effect I'd hoped for though.

Rufus' pants began to get louder behind me and I felt myself start to drool, wether from the pain or the pleasure, I really don't know.

"Well you... deserve it." Was what he said, just as harshly as when I'd come in, and he didn't let up the pace. Instead, he made it faster. That's when tears started to form in my eyes. I know it was unmanly, fuck, I knew the satisfaction it would give Rufus but...I'd never felt anything like what Rufus was doing to me right now. So much pain, and yet so much pleasure as he somehow managed to hit my prostate on every thrust. I was actually writhing around on his desk, groaning, whimpering and panting all at the same timeas he sped up, obviously encouraged by the sounds I was making. As I began to get used to it, I could feel my erection again, seeping down the side of Rufus' desk as he pulled at my hips, grinding now at an almost unbearable pace. I could hear him, grunting and panting behind me as he searched for some sort of release. At the same time, I found myself starting to massage myself. I was still in pain, but desperate to relieve this damn pang in my groin. Rufus was getting ready to come, as he swelled inside me, but he pounded into me even harder, and hit me yet again right in the prostate.

I moaned a second later, with a few hard strokes from myself I came, screaming silently, head arched up as my entire body shook in orgasm and strain. Then I just collapsed. Every songle muscle in my body seemed to die. The bastard behind me came just after, releasing his load inside my already over-exherted ass. I tried to scream but nothing came out, and my muscles had packed up and gone to Costa del Sol for the day so I just lay there, my head to one side drooling with my eyes open wide but hazy. Rufus collapsed on top of me with an illiterate grunt, and just lay there for a moment, panting and drenching me in his sweat. I shuddered at the feeling, but hopefully he'd finished with me now.

"Now..."

I froze at his voice - or I would've done if I'd been able to move in the first place. Fucking hell, what else did he want me to do? I felt him move away from me and I hissed at the pain. My walls felt on fire. What else could he possibly do to me? 'Actually Reno, forget that question, I dont think I wanna know.' I thought.

I heard as he zipped his flies up and walked around to pick up his shirt. My face was looking in the opposite direction and I didn't have the strength to turn over and see what he was doing. When he came back into view he was fully clothed in that goddamn awful white suit: 'Rufus, spoiled brat Shinra' - younger than me, but vice president of the company: Respectable, presentable and business like.

'_I wonder what would happen if your daddy knew the real you, you bastard?_' I thought, but to Rufus I must've just looked fucking stoned. The arousal had gone from his eyes, replaced with a look of disgust as he glared into my eyes, leaning down to see me.

"Now get out."

The words were like ice in the air. And then he walked out to his meeting, leaving lil' bitch Reno here, half-naked, sore and confused, sprawled across his desk.


	6. Chapter 6

Note: Back to the plot for a while

Note: Back to the plot for a while...

Reviews: Thank ye all who've reviewed this so far. Reviews are filled with nummy nutrition that makes me all happy and bouncy and stuff... so if you're a lovely person whose not yet reviewed, please do, and help me sustain my happy bouncy composure for as long as possible! Oh and if you don't like it...review it anyway! Tell me what you think, that's the only way I'll ever improve so go ahead. I dont mind :P

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Chapter 6

It was 7:30 pm by the time I left Shinra Tower that night, still with that godawful, stupid dazed look on my face. Heh...two and a half hours later, and I still couldn't believe what had happened.

A few minutes after Rufus had left for his meeting, I'd convinced my body that it was actually important for me to move, and I'd peeled myself painfully from the twisted position I'd ended up in. I'd spent a few minutes making sure all my limbs were still properly attached, and then in a daze I'd cleaned myself up and started to tidy. I'd cleaned my seed from the side of his desk, mopped up my drool and sweat from the top and straightened up the paperwork I'd been clutching at on his desk. My personnel file I left to one side, not knowing where to put it but I put it face down so that the cheesy photoagraph on the front cover was hidden from view.

I know I could've left it but I'd just been - to make the saying literal - fucked senseless. My brain wasn't working properly and I guess I felt like I needed to keep my mind off what just happened. I thought about reclaiming my jacket from the floor, but it was covered in Rufus' juices, so I knew I'd never be comfortable wearing it again. In the end I threw it out the window. It probably landed on some stupid fuck walking past who would keep it, wondering what the stains were, but just glad to have a free jacket.

After that I left Rufus' room as quick as I could - which wasn't very quick thanks to my muscles trying to collapse on me every other step - and headed back to my office on floor 69. Thankfully the Turk offices had been abandoned by the time I staggered down the stairs. No Rude, no Tseng, just me, and thank fuck for that. If they'd seen me in this state it would've been pretty obvious even to a senile chimp what had been going on. Then I'd headed for my office and just stood there. At that point my brain was still pretty screwed and I'd stood (not being able to sit down) cigarette in mouth, face completely blank as I tried to recover. I'd still been shaking for an hour afterwards. Maybe it was just muscle spasm, maybe not. In any case, I stayed like that for a whole 2 hours, before realising that at some point tonight I'd have to go home. So.. I'd sorted out my hair as much as possible and tried to walk presentably to the lifts and through reception. I didn't quite manage it: my ass was so goddamn painful and I was white as a sheet. I'd tried to cover as best I could, but the receptionist still gave me a look as I'd walked out the lobby and into the Midgar night.

My car was right outside, but I felt too goddamn dazed to drive, so I hailed a taxi cab. Thank god my apartment wasn't that far from the Tower. If the ride had lasted any longer I would've started to hiss with the pain of having to sit while the cab jolted along Midgar's bumpy uneven roads. Still with that blank look on my face, I'd payed the cab driver, opened the door to my apartment and automatically headed towards the kitchenette, pulling out a bottle of scotch from the cupboard and standing in the dark, pouring the alcohol down my throat as my brain finally began to catch up with the rest of me.

"Rufus... just... fucked... me." I whispered to myself, and it started to sink into my stupid damn head just what had happened.

"Rufus fucked me."

Wait a sec. Had I...? Had he...? Had he just fucked me, or was it... rape? Was it even possible for a guy to be raped? I had no idea. Ask me about games on 'the other side of the fence' and I was just about the expert, but this world was totally new to me.

"Okay Reno: define 'just a fuck'" Yes I know it was patronising myself, but I've never been to smart, you know? Sometimes it's best to keep things simple.

'Sex between two willing adults.' I thought to myself. Wow...text book answer. Maybe my mind wasn't so screwed after all. Well, both me and Rufus were adults, that wasn't a problem, but...but had I been willing? I had agreed hadn't I? And some of it I'd enjoyed, so that must make it just sex. Wait, I'd agreed, yes, but did I really have much of a choice?

That line of thought was way too confusing for my tiny little brain to handle in the circumstances.

'Okay, let's look at it out of context, shall we? If he'd asked you at an office party or something, If you'd had the choice, would you have still said yes?'

Now that was the question, wasn't it? If I'd had a choice, would I still have let him do what he did? I closed my eyes just thinking about it, gulping from the bottle in my hand hard to relieve the pain and kill off any of my higher brain functions for the night that might still be working. It took me a minute to think about my answer, and when I got it my eyes widened and I looked up at the black ceiling in shock.

Holy fuck.

I'd just been raped by my boss.

Now that wasn't something that had occured to me before. That word wasn't used in my everyday vocabulary. I remembered Rufus, hammering into my body while I writhed across his desk in agony and pleasure. I suddenly felt sick. I wnted to shower, brush my teeth, get rid of this smell all over me, get rid of the taste of him in my mouth. Ive never been a coward - you don't live long in the slums if you're a coward, and you sure as hell don't get chosen for the Turks, but right then I was afraid, because I knew there was nobody I could tell.

Tseng, well...Tseng was my boss, and as much as I'd fantasised about him, I was pretty sure he wouldn't be interested in my private life and to tell the truth I wouldn't want to tell him. I'd be too afraid he'd somehow be disappointed in me, or he'd say 'Turks shouldn't show their emotions' and walk away. And as for Rude... Rude wouldn't understand at all. Besides, it would change things. It would get awkward. Rude was the only thing I had close to a friend in this godforsaken city and I wasn't about to jeapordise that. I swigged from the bottle again as I realised: there just wasn't anybody.

Eventually I convinced myself to move and achingly headed for the shower, desperate to get rid of this smell - the smell of his sweat and cum all over me. I stripped off, deciding to get rid of the suit I'd been wearing, and turned the shower on, frowning to myself as I pulled the goggles out of my messed up hair and dumped them on the side. It was at this point that the phone rang.

I ran a hand through my hair stressfuly. Oh fuck it, go away! I was scared shitless that it was Rufus, telling me to get back there so he could do something even more degrading to me. But on the other hand, it could be the landlord after the rent I'd been avoiding to pay for the lass 3 months, it could be one of those goddamn courtesy calls from random magazines I've never heard of, but most importantly it could be Tseng or Rude calling me up because they needed help - it could be serious. Hesitantly I turned the shower off and walked, still naked, back to the hallway and picked up the reciever slowly. I didn't say a word. I figured if it was pretty-boy bastard Shinra, I could just put the phone down without much trouble.

Silence on the other end.

"...Reno?"

The silky mastered tone of Tseng flowed through me and I felt calmer immediately. His voice offered me some kind of sedative and I sighed audibly.

"Tseng." Personally, I thought I managed to cover my relief pretty goddamn well, but being the annoyingly perceptive bastard he was, Tseng picked up on it.

"Were you expecting someone else?"

"No." I snapped. Oh yeah sure, that was convincing, Reno you prick. I never was any good at hiding things from Tseng...it was near impossible and I had no doubt he'd seen straight through that crappy lie. He was silent a moment, probably trying to decide wether or not to ask me again.

"Reno...?" It sounded like he was about to ask me something, "No, never mind it doesn't matter." I could swear I actually heard some emotion in Tseng's voice for a second, then it just disappeared again. "I'm calling to find out what happened to you this afternoon. Rude told me you didn't leave your office all day, but when he rang earlier there was no response. He was concerned."

"So you're Rude's servant now are you?"

"I was also concerned about you." Came the plain reply, but now it was my turn to pick up on something. Now that sounded like a certain someone was betraying his emotions. Normally all I got out of Tseng was repremands and that goddamn awful stare, but he'd just admitted something. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was he'd just admitted, but there was...something, and if I'd been in a normal frame of mind, I'd have jumped in there and started trying to make him talk but...I just needed to get this smell off me so badly, and flashes of what I'd done to Rufus and what Rufus had done to me kept coming back into my head. I really didn't want to talk to Tseng just now, I needed some space, I needed people to leave me the hell alone.

"Yeah well now you know I'm fine. I'm just fine. Can I go now? Can I have some fucking time to myself without people bothering me? Can I?"

Tseng sighed.

"I'll see you tomorrow then." He said, going back into his monotone business voice, and put the phone down.

I didn't. Instead I threw the phone across the floor and pulled it out of its socket, still gripping the now empty bottle of scotch to my chest, so I staggered back to the cupboard to find something else.

I had my shower. In fact, I had three, but they didn't make me feel much better. But at least the smell was gone now. At least I thought it was gone, or maybe I just couldn't smell it through the haze of alcohol pumping through my system. I spent the rest of the night standing in my crappy little kitchenette, watching late night TV and slowly getting more and more drunk, smoking cigarette after cigarette until my apartment looked like it had its very own sea fog. By midnight I was totally out of my fucking head, and I turned off the TV and crawled achingly into bed with a half empty bottle at my side, trying to block the entire day from my memory. Not that I had the slightest thought that it would work but hey, we all live in hope, right?


	7. Chapter 7

Reviews: Reviews are ex-x-x-xcellent cackles like Mr

Reviews: Reviews are ex-x-x-xcellent cackles like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons I love hearing what people think of my writing, wether they like it or not, so...review pleeease? I'll give you a peanut?? offers peanut

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Chapter 7

The next morning I was more than usually reluctant to get up. I had one mother of a hangover, and it was only after the 10th return of the alarm from snoozing that I decided I'd better actually get out of bed.

I took a look at myself in the bedroom mirror as I sat up, and saw my reflection staring back at me. I looked like shit ran over twice. My eyes were surrounded by big black rings, the colour was gone from me completely, so I looked like a ghost or something, and my actual eyes were squinty and pink because of the headache I had. Remind me never to drink again, or smoke for that matter - my lungs felt like I'd smoked the contents of an entire tobacco plantation.

I picked myself up from the bed, my muscles still in such goddamn pain it was unbelievable, and dumped on a clean suit. I couldn't find my gel so I figured I'd have to leave my hair as it was. I retied my ponytail, retrieved my goggles from the bathroom and walked straight out, stepping over the broken phone as I headed out the door. I normally grab something to eat in the morning too, but I wasn't hungry. I'd left the car at Shinra Tower yesterday so I had to catch the subway to work. I hate the subway on normal days, so I hated it a hell of a lot more this morning: as well as having a hangover that could've downed a goddamn elephant, the other riders kept their distance and kept glancing up at me nervously, intimidated by the dark blue suit of the Turks. Double plus the motion of the train made me wanna hurl.

I turned up at Shinra HQ precisely 1 hour 32 minutes late. How do I know this? Because Tseng told me, that's why, when he came out to 'greet' me just as I was clocking in.

"1 hour, 32 minutes late, Reno," Tseng's voice came from behind, in a tone of icy amusement as I went to punch in my card, "I'm glad to see you're keen as ever to get to work."

"Oh yeah, keen to please, that's me." I muttered under my breath, but loud enough for Tseng to hear. He just stood there and watched me as I punched in my card and set it back on the wall. Tseng brushed the arm of his suit smoothly.

"Rufus-"

"What?!" I froze at the sound of that name, and I felt like I needed a pair of jump leads to kick start my heart. Up until right now I'd been trying damn hard to forget that name, and now Tseng had gone and brought that plan crashing down around my head. Great, thank you Tseng, for nearly giving me a heart attack...

"Rufus rang my office this morning, and told me you still haven't handed in your report." Disappointment in his voice, and that godawful stare that usually turned me into an apologising, mumbling heap of jelly. But right now, I felt too jelly-like already for it to have much of an effect on me. I just blinked and looked at him. God, how I wished I could just blurt out what had happened, and collapse into his arms! But I knew that was never going to happen. This is Midgar: a city obsessed with cold business and heirachy. I doubt wether Tseng would appreciate a subordinate asshole like me clinging to that pristene suit of his for comfort.

"I didn't have time to finish it. " I eventually came out with, though from the way Tseng's eyes narrowed, he must have known there was more to it than that. Damn Tseng and his perceptiveness! It felt like he could just look at me and know exactly what I was thinking, and considering most of the time my mind was filled with lustful thoughts about the guy, thinking of him reading my mind was never a comfortable thought. Tseng 'hm'ed at me, then placed his hands one on top of the other across his stomach in that trademark Tseng pose. The one that usually drove me wild...but not today.

"Well you will have it finished by four o'clock today. Rufus wants that report, personally delivered by you and he's damn well going to get it...isn't he?"

Now that was Tseng's 'pissed off' tone of voice, and the look he gave me was enough to make me gulp audibly. My hangover was still there, Tseng was in a bad mood, and Rufus wanted my report delivered personally. Shit, hadn't Rufus done enough? I knew exacly what the hell he wanted it delivered personally for: he was planning on doing it again. I glared back at Tseng for the first time ever and sighed annoyedly. I know none of this was really his fault, but what else could I goddamn do?

"Sure boss." I said coldly, and turned away towards my office. "Well then I'll just go and do it now, then."

"Reno...you're going to do some paperwork?" Suspicion. I carried on walking.

"No, I'm going to knit a fucking jumper." I said sarcasticly, or as sarcasticly as I could manage in my state, and then slammed my office door behind me. I leaned back against it for a second, a hand across my eyes. Rufus...wanted me to go back. Up until yesterday, the only contact I'd had with him was in the all-staff meetings, staring at me, Tseng and Rude as though we were vermin at some high-society fucking restaurant. And now...what? He wanted to see me? He wanted to fuck me senseless again, and what choice did I have but to say yes? Shit. He could send me back to the slums in a second. Bastard. That's the only word I had for him. Cruel, psychotic vindictive goddamn bastard! This was such a screwed up situation...but I knew that even this was better than the slums.

I took out a cigarette from the pack and lit up, hoping some nicotine would give me some kind of strength to get me through the next five minutes. I sat down at my overly messy desk and stared at my half empty coffee mug with the words 'world's greatest lover' written on the side. A joke present from Rude. I figured I'd need some damn coffee to help me through the day so I picked it up and tiredly made my way to the coffee machine parked conveniently at the end of the corridoor. Pure genius putting it there, I can tell you: right outside Tseng's office. That man drank more coffee in one day than I'd drank in my entire life. Whenever you went into Tseng's office, the first thing that hit you was the smell of fresh coffee. There was so much in the air, I swear just breathing it in could send you into a caffeine-induced trance for the day. I looked nervously at the door to Tseng's office, not really wanting to be cornered into being repremanded again. Hell, if I could just make it through this day...

Holy fuck, Rude! He stepped out in front of me, looming over me like some bald silent ogre. I looked up at him and nodded in a half-assed sort of way.

"Rude."

"Heh... Tseng said you'd finally come in."

"And so I have... now get the hell outta my way so I can get some goddamn coffee."

'Not A Good Day' was tattooed all over my face. Normally that's a good enough reason for people to steer clear of me: who wants to mess with a pissed Turk? But Rude was the exception: he could handle my short fuse, and despite sometimes being dumb as a post, he knew me well enough to see that this was more than just a hangover and 'bad day blues'. All the more reason for me to avoid him then. He had this infallable way of getting me to admit stuff and I didn't want him to get this little gem of information outta me. I put my head down and walked past him to get to the machine.

I heard the footsteps behind me as he followed me down, and as much as I wanted to turn and tell him to go screw, I knew he wouldn't take a hint. I sighed and slipped my mug under the coffee machine button, waiting for the crap Shinra passed off as espresso to dribble from the pipe. I flexed my fingers agitatedly, knwing Rude was standing right behind me. What the fuck was up with him? Okay, so he knew there was something wrong, but did he really have to follow me around like a goddamn shadow?

"You want somethin', Rude?" I snapped. God, but was my temper on a high this morning. Rude just looked down at me blankly, as if I hadn't said a damn thing. Then he leaned over my shoulder to look at my face, and when he stood back he came out with something that really made my day. Really.

"...you look like shit."

Resist...the urge...to kill. I blinked tiredly. Every muscle in my body felt like it was weighed down with 100 ton weights, I had a hangover that felt like my brain had been run over several times and then slapped back into my head, and I had huge knots in my stomach muscles from anxiety...well yeah, of course I looked like shit...feeling like it too, but that really was the last thing I'd wanted to hear. My ego was my last line of defence when it came to trouble of any kind, and Rude had just done a good job of denting it pretty badly. The he asked the question I'd hoped he wouldn't.

"So you gonna tell me what happened to you last night?"

Silence.

I decided to look like I was busy, staring at the coffee cup hard like I was doing something important.

"Oh, so something did happen last night then, huh?"

What the hell? Why couldn't I have landed a job where everybody around me kept to their own goddamn business? I looked up at him coldly. Tseng has this look, this look he uses when he wants us to leave him alone. It is the singular most cold, daunting thing I have ever seen and it works...hell does it work! Me and Rude evacuate the area quicker than a pair of frightened chocobos. This was the look I was really straining to do at Rude, but from the snigger I got back, I sorta guessed my attempt wasn't working.

"What the hell's so funny?" I snarled.

"You Reno. Man, you look like fuck and you're acting like a 5 year old. Just quit the crap and tell me what the hell this is all about."

Oh man, here it comes: this is the part where Rude acts like a woman and wheedles the desired information from me bit by bit. He can do that, you know? But I guess wheedling information from people is part of our job, so he's good at it. I stared at him blankly for a second. No...I wasn't about to give him the chance to do that. As heavily as I was guarding the secret of what happened last night, I knew he would get it out of me somehow.

"Fuck you." I said and hurried back down the corridoor, leaving my coffee still under the machine. To hell with the coffee...I just needed water and some sleep. It was then that I saw him.

Rufus Shinra, striding along the corridoor masterfully, that long white suit fanning out behind him like a cape. I gulped silently as I saw those familiar psychopathic blue eyes rest on me for a fraction of a second. I willed my legs to move but they froze when Rufus had come into view, leaving me stuck in mid stride as he came nearer. His face was completely blank and cruel, like an undertaker. I remembered the fact that not 18 hours ago, he'd been leaning over my shoulder, his breath beating on the back of my ear... I shuddered. Fuck it! My legs would not move! Yet again, my body was betraying me. Yesterday it had been my over active sex drive, and today it was my legs. I was rooted to the spot as Rufus went to sweep straight past me. Then he suddenly stopped and glared.

"Materia report." He said quicly, as though I was just another slacking employee. I stuttered like a school kid, looking into the distance so I wouldn't have to see those damn awful blue eyes.

"uuuuh...yeah I know." I said, head up, eyes straight ahead. I remembered he liked it when I was being subserviant, and I had no intention of giving him anything more than I had to. Damn, but I never knew how hard it could be to control my own body. I was physically having to hold myself in this position so I wouldn't look down.

'You little bitch, Reno.' I thought to myself. 'You;re a goddamn Turk, not a Honeybee whore. Start acting like one!'

"I'll get it to you as soon as I can."

Rufus' eyes narrowed cruelly. Did he even remember what had happened? For one brief blissful moment, I was willing to believe that it had all been my sick imagination fucking me over...that was until I remembered the pain in my ass. Nope, definitely not my imagination.

"Four o'clock." Rufus said, the intonation of his voice hinting that if I still wanted my job I'd better damn well comply. I nodded and he walked past, brushing his hand over mine as he swept away. Maybe it had just been accidental, but I couldn't help thinking maybe not. I waited til his footsteps passed out of my range before I dared to breath again.

"You lucky bastard."

Huh? Oh...apparently Rude hadn't taken my advice to go screw, and he'd heard and seen as Rufus talked to me. I had a mind to tell him to go take a long walk off the end of the plate, but... what exactly was that last comment again? What exactly did he ean by lucky? He...oh shit, he didn't know did he? If only, just for one minute, he'd take those damn sunglasses off I might be able to read his thoughts. I looked up at him again and realised I was just being paranoid. Nah...this was Rude. Rude was a decent guy, aside from the fact he was a hired hitman. He wasn't the kind of guy to play around with words. He'd just have said: 'You fucked Rufus last night' and left it at that. 6 syllables - short, precise, and to the point..

"Lucky?"

"You know my report was 5 minutes late, and he threatened to send me back to the slums."

"He did?" Heart. Frozen. need I say more?

"Yeah. I told him fine, and to do it then. He said I was impertonent and docked my fucking wages for a weak, the bastard."

And this is the point where, had I actually eaten anything this morning, it would now be splattered across Rude's suit. Docked his pay? Is that all? Then the word that ad escaped me yesterday came into my head. I walked wordlessly away from Rude and went back to the privacy of my office.

Sadist.

Rufus Shinra: sadist.

That's why he'd picked me and not Rude to fuck senseless. I'd begged, Rude hadn't. That's why it had hurt so goddamn much - he'd wanted it to be. My whimpering, my begging had turned him on. And at 4 o'clock this afternoon...he'd probably try to do it again.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Normally, wheedling my way out of meetings, deadlines etc is one of my skills. Corretion - my hobbies. Rude and I make bets as to which meetings I'll be able to avoid. Heidigger's meetings are normally easy to miss - as chief over SOLIER and the Turks, if you told him you were busy with 'Turk business' he'd just come out with that godawful laugh and say 'Well make sure you give 'em a good kicking from me!'

Now getting out of a meeting with Rufus, the president's son...fuck, was that something else. So far I'd come up with two options:

1) Throw myself down the stairwell and end up in the medical bay for the rest of the day

2) Kill Rufus and have my own team hunt me down like a dog.

Nu-uh...not the best choice.

Of course, the third option was to go to meet Rufus, suck his dick like a bitch and come back in intense pain...and who knows what he had planned this time, now that he knew how far I was prepared to go? I sat at my desk smoking like a chimney and wishing, damn praying that something would happen and I wouldn't have to go up there. I stared down at the bastard report that had got me into this mess, knowing that even if I did finish it on time it wouldn't change a thing. I'd still end up crawling home long after hours and drinking myself into a stuper to numb the pain.

Eventually I figured I'd do the damn thing...even if just to keep me occupied and stop me smoking obsessively. It wasn't the fact that Rufus had done it that really freaked me, it was the fact that at the time, I remembered half enjoying what he did and...and...

And I was cut off mid swing by the light up phone next to me ringing. I picked up the reciever and shouted down the phone.

"What?"

Oh crap. Turned out to be Tseng on the other end, and he didn't sound impressed.

"Not disturbing you am I?" every syllable precise and harsh. He sounded majorly pissed at me. Yet his voice was again something calming to me. I dont know - he has this deep, purring Wutaian accent that drives me wild on normal days. Right now it was acting like a sedative. I couldn't help but sigh down the phone, probably loud enough for him to hear on the other end.

"Reno...?" Guess he did hear.

"Boss?"

"Meeting in my office. Now."

When he put the reciever down I nearly punched the air in joy. Ohhh yeah. I never thought I'd be so glad to be going to one of Tseng's meetings. But it could only mean one thing: Turk business, equals spying, assasination or some other crap, equals the fact that I might not be here at four.

I heard the heavy footfall of Rude as he walked by, and I opened my drawer, pulling out my electro-rod and a handful of materia I always kept on hand. My hands were shaking as I took them and dumped them in my pocket. My trusty ol' electro-rod I placed in the leather hoop on my belt. I checked my reflection in my mirror (yeah I do have a mirror in my office...I'm incredibly vain) and looked at the black bags under my eyes. My normally way sexy hair was in limp bangs across my face, and my goggles had just been dumped on my head stupidly. God, Rude was right - I did look like shit. But what the hell! Today was - to be fair - the biggest pile of crap already, so why not go the whole hog and go out looking like something found in Hojo's lab? I opened the door and headed to Tseng's office and stood outside. I could actually smell the coffee before I opened the door, it was that strong, and then I went in.

"Good morning Reno. You look in fine spirits today." Mocked Tseng, quirking an eyebrow at me as I threw myself into one of the leather chairs put there for me and Rude. Even in such a state though I couldn't help but let Tseng's expression get to me. Of all the things Tseng said or did, this expression was The One: the one that infallably managed to turn me into a puddle of affectionate, Reno-shaped goo. I found myself staring into his perfect dark face, my eyes glazed over a little as he stared back, that goddamn expression still on his face as he asked me what I was staring at. For the love of god, drop the eyebrow! Eventually he did, but I was still forced to inconspicuously cross my legs to hide anything happening below stairs.

"Well gods be praised, it's a fine day for humanity when Reno has nothing to say."

And that was Tseng's attempt at humour, I suppose, from the way he actually moved his mouth into what could've been a smile. I just sat there, legs crossed and a humourless look on my face. Thankfully Tseng just moved on. Heh...he must've been in a better mood than earlier or he'd've laid into me. Tseng loves to make me feel uncomfortable on the best of days. It's normally to shut me and my damn big mouth up, or to try to teach me to adhere to rules. Not that it works, but I suppose there was no need this morning: I was silent, serious and rule following, like a good little Shinra employee. Tseng must've thought it was his birthday when I walked in that door without any egocentric remarks.

"Well then, now that you're both here we can start. What exactly do you understand by the term 'coup d'etat'?"

Rude sitting in the other chair grunted and adjusted his shades.

"Somethin' to do with food?" Heh Rude...such a smart guy. Tseng stared expressionlessly at Rude as though he'd just done something incredibly disgusting, and then moved on quickly.

"The word around Shinra is that some small time crook on sector 6 is planning a coup d'etat over Shinra Inc. We know this because various high ranking members of SOLDIER have been approached and offered vast amounts of money in exchange for their support."

"So? Who gives a damn about some small time crooks? Nobody's gonna mess with Shin-" That was me, but I trailed off as Tseng leaned across the desk and placed a red stone delicately on the surface. Like a little kid I picked it up and rolled it around in my hand. Tseng looked down at me as though I was a 5 year old holding a priceless antique.

"Summon materia?" I said, and Tseng snatched the piece off me.

"Yes. Very rare summon materia. Very rare...expensive...summon materia." Gee, okay Tseng I get the idea. "And this piece, worth over four million Gil, was offered to one single commander in exchange for his support when the time came."

"This is a payoff? This guy must be loaded."

And then it struck me...it struck me just what Tseng said. "sector 6?" I stuttered, gripping the arms of the chair instinctively. There was only one son of a bitch in sector 6 who had that kind of money...

"Then that means..."

"That's right Reno." Tseng said, and he looked at me, knowing what was going through my mind. "Our little anarchist may very well be Don Corneo."


	9. Chapter 9

Reviews: Reviews

Reviews: Reviews...well, you know the drill by now: reviews are the niiiicccest thang you can give me...even if its a bad review, it means people are reading and have an opinion on my stuff. Review and I'll love you forever o.

Chapter 9

"I'm gonna throw up."

"Don't be so soft."

Wow...can't beat Tseng's sympathy, but then it was better than that stare he'd been giving me all morning, like he knew something was wrong but couldn't work out what. There was no way I'd ever tell him or Rude about the shit running through my head, but it had been daunting to see Tseng's eyes trying to search me, as though if he stared at me long enough, the answer would just somehow jump out at him. Still, Rufus and last night was the least of my worries right now, because despite years of trying to avoid the place, I was back in sector 6.

Wall market - the place I'd fucking avoided like the plague and now here I was slap bang in the goddamn middle of it, gripping nervously to the upholstry of Tseng's car as we drove on through. That wasn't the only problem I had either: the smell of electricity, oil and sewage that the slums gave off was aggrivating my already painful hangover pretty fucking badly and I really REALLY needed to hurl. Eventually I put my head out of the window and threw up, the contents of my stomach leaving a nice streak down the side of Tseng's expensive car.

"And you'll be paying for the cleaning of this car from your wages." He said calmly once I'd finished. I moaned and put my head between my legs, curling up into the foetus position in the passenger seat as what was left of my brain felt like it was collaping in on itself. Rude just laughed - the bastard.

"Jesus Reno, how much did you drink last night?"

"Fuck you." I grunted, not bothering to move my head. Looking back, I was beginning to realise that drinking myself into a stuper hadn't been one of my best ideas... in fact it had been a fucking stupid idea, and the way Tseng was swinging round the corners of Wall Market, if I were paranoid I'd say he was doing it on purpose.

The crappest day of my life. That's what I was thinking right then. How can so much shit happen to the same guy on the same day? I eventually forced myself to look out the window at the streets passing by. I recognised these streets and it made me sick to my guts to think I was back here again. I moaned again only to be slapped round the head by Rude who was in the back.

"Ow, what the hell was that for?"

"Just shut it Reno, you're gettin' on my nerves."

Oh...well excuse me Mr. perfect-ass Rude for having the worst day of my life. I resisted the urge to stick my electro rod in his groin...mostly because that would require moving, and my brain really didn't want me to move right now.

Tseng sighed as we pulled up in an alleyway near to Don Corneo's mansion, then he leaned back and handed Rude a gun - my goddamn gun, to be exact.

"Rude, go check the place out. Let's see if the good Don's home before we pay him a visit."

"Why you givin' Rude my Lola?" I loved that gun, nearly as much as I loved my electro rod, and it was mentally scarring to think of Rude's grubby hands all over her. Yes it's sad to give my gun a name, but hey what can I say? I'm a sad guy.

"Don't worry Reno, I'll treat her right." Rude grinned and stroked the barrel of it as he got out of the car.

"Bastard." I hissed, and then went into a sulk as me and Tseng were left in the car together. I looked up at him with a hurt expression. "Why did you give Rude my Lola?" I moaned at him, and the eyebrow shot up into 'that' look. He didn't approve of me doing stupid things like naming my equipment, in Tseng's book it was 'unprofessional' I guess. In my book, I still think he needs to have a little fun with this job. It can't be good for the guy to always seem so calm and business-like. I'm surprised he hasn't got grey hair from all the stress he puts himself under. Right now he was staring at me with that expression on his face. My god! Even with a hangover and the worst goddamn mood of my life, I still couldn't help but let that vision come back: a vision that he'd lean over and pull me into a deep kiss while I let my hands touch his skin, his hair in a frenzy. Letting his rippling muscles twitch under my fingers as he ripped open my shirt and started kissing my chest and lower...

I felt incredibly awkward suddenly, as I returned to reality and realised he was still staring at me. Fuck, had he noticed something in the way I moved or my eyes? If not then why the hell was he staring so hard? Eventually he sighed and looked back at the dashboard, leaning back and looking unbelievably at home in the black leather interior, like he was out of a commercial or something: the perfect car for the perfect body.

"...boss?"

Woah! Why was my mouth even open right now? Why in god's name was I speaking? Fucking hell Reno, shut that big mouth of yours before you say something stupid! Tseng just looked at me, those goddamn gorgeous Wutaian eyes boring into me.

"Reno?"

"Tseng...I -"

Then I threw up all over his expensive car. Fuck.

Tseng sighed beside me and I watched him pull something from his immaculately clean dashboard drawer. He dangled it in front of me as I watched.

"Pain killers." He said and dropped the packet into my lap. I looked up at him with a thankful smile.

"Gee, thanks Tseng."

Now...was it me, or did I see a smile start to creep across that emotionless face then? If it was a smile, then it disappeared just as quickly, replaced with that annoyingly blank business face he wore most of the time.

"Well I can't have one of my team half drunk out on a job. Oh... and that reminds me... Reno?"

"Yeah?" I said weakly.

"Your wages are docked 10 for rendering yourself unfit for work."

Right now I was too goddamn wasted to argue. Let him dock my wages. Did it look like I cared? Right now, all I was concerned with was getting these pain killers down my throat as quick as damn possible and shut myself up before I said something stupid.

There was another silence, so I stared out the window again and sighed anxiously. Of all the places in all of Midgar, I had to end up back here: right outside the fucking Don's mansion! Bad memories...too many bad memories about this place it was unbelievable. It felt like my past had come running and bitten me right in the ass, and to be blunt, my ass had had way too much attention these past 24 hours. Fuck it, I was starting to crack. I sighed again and pushed a hand through my hair as I closed my eyes. I felt Tseng's eyes on me again.

"Turks do not show their emotions Reno."

Heh...text book response. Not like I'd expected any different, but I'd hoped there would be a tiny drop of sympathy in what he said. Not a fucking hint of it, and this is from one of those few people who had any idea of what my past was like. Damn, how can someone so good looking be so cold? I just wish I could figure Tseng out sometimes, then at least I could label him as a bastard and get over it. But I couldn't, because when I opened my eyes, for a second I saw what looked like sympathy flash across his face, before it disappeared again behind that goddamn facade. I shrugged.

"Yeah well you know me: never been one to tow the line. I'm a goddamn rebel, me."

"And you really think that's a good thing?"

I looked up at the sudden change in tone. Tseng was sitting in the driver's seat, twisted round so that he was nearly facing me. If I'd had any brain but mine, I'd've answered that with some deep philisophical reasoning. Nah, fuck that shit. I just shrugged stupidly.

"Reno, if you learned to channel those emotions you would make a great Turk. If you stopped acting like a prick most of the time you could make something of yourself... who knows, when I'm dead you could end up with my job."

I managed to contain a snigger. End up with Tseng's job? Yeah like that would ever happen: early mornings, paperwork, training goddamn rookies...no thanks, I'd prefer to stay a bum; but that wasn't the thing that was on my mind right now. Tseng was looking at me in a way I'd never seen before. I don't think it could be called affection, it wasn't deep enough for that, but more like...distant like? Okay Reno you must be seeing things. Tseng was looking at me as if he actually liked me? Well..that was definitely a new one. To tell the truth it freaked me out a bit, but it also made me wonder why he was telling me this. Even as a pathetic little rookie, all I'd ever got from him was: 'Never show emotions they're a weakness. Keep in line asshole or I'll neuter you with a blunt spoon.'

...Okay, maybe he never actually said it in those words, but you got the impression that's what he meant. But this... fuck, this was something new and in the state I was in, my brain didn't quite know what to make of it. It could be an invitation? Then again, it might not be, and considering the lameass luck I'd had over the last day, I decided to play it safe and make a joke out of it.

"When you're dead? You plannin' on dying some time soon then, Tseng?"

Tseng just laughed quietly and turned to look out of the side window.

"Not if I can help it, but things happen."

Those words...that was the first time I'd ever thought about Tseng as anything other than indestructable, that was the first time I'd thought about him being dead. Yeah I know - you would've thought that being a Turk I'd think about death a lot, but you learn to block that shit out - along with your guilt. Right then I let it in for once and holy shit! I was fucking scared. The idea of Tseng being dead...frightened me shitless. That was the first time I realised how serious this thing I had for him could actually be. Til now I'd brushed it off as some pathetic crush, caused by the fact he was out of reach. But what if it was more than just me being led around by my testosterone? What if, despite this pompous, cold son of a bitch's hard exterior... holy crap, what if I was falling in love with Tseng?


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I thought about that idea a lot in that damn car. Up until this point in my life, I'd never even considered 'love'. 'Love' was the excuse women came up with to see you again after a one night stand, and I'd actually removed the idea of its existence from my mind...til now. Shit what if I was falling in love with Tseng? That'd put a goddamn strain on my work, wouldn't it? Oh man, I really couldn't handle this right now: I had enough crap on my plate without considering the idea of falling in love with this hard son of a bitch. I was thankfully pulled out of that line of thought when Tseng looked in the sideview mirror and tensed up.

"Looks like we've been spotted." He said calmly, and placed a hand on the gun hidden under his suit. I looked in my mirror...and I swear I nearly had a heart attack.

Two words: Fucking hell. If this wasn't what people call 'a blast from the past' then I don't know what was. Three tall, black haired guys were stomping down the alleyway towards Tseng's car, so much muscle on each of them they looked like they were about to burst. One of them carried a crowbar, and the other two just followed behind him, stupid sneers on all their faces. I shuddered. Nero, Caesar and Max: the Don's favourite pets and they were heading this goddamn way. Apparently Tseng saw the look in my eyes.

"Know them?"

I nodded without a word and gripped the handle of my electro-rod. Fuck, I knew they'd recognise me as soon as they saw me. Tseng wound the window down as Max - the one with the crowbar - peered in at him.

"Problem?"

Damn! How could Tseng stay so damn calm in these situations, he was like a block of ice! I turned away from Max to try and hide my face: if he recognised me, me and Tseng would be in a whole world of crap.

"You hangin' round here fer a reason fella?" I heard Max say. Tseng just sighed while I pretended there was something really interesting out the side window.

"Would it bother you if I was?"

"It might do... I might have to break this pretty car of yours into pieces - and your neck."

"...wanna try it?"

There was a goddamn awful silence, but I couldn't look to see what was happening, because I was still trying to hide my face. I could tell from Tseng's tone of voice though that Max had majorly pissed him off, and a word of warning: when a Turk is pissed, you give them a wide birth. Even Tseng had his limits, and I think threatening his car was probably an ignition point, because I suddenly realised Tseng had pulled out the revolver and was pointing it at Max. It was then, being the camplete and utter moron that I am, I took my eyes off the side window and looked at Tseng and Max, Tseng with his gun to the other guy's head, and a fire in those eyes that in two years two months of working with him, I'd never actually seen.

"Drop the crowbar." Tseng growled, his voice was suddenly dangerously low. Max looked like he was goddamn stoned. He was staring down the barrel of the gun in a sort of daze, as though he had no idea what in the hell it was that Tseng was pointing at him. Hey, even if I am a Turk, I was still pretty anxious at this point, gripping to the upholstry like it was the only thing stopping me from collapsing, and my eyes open as wide as they possibly could be. Max may not be the smartest of the Don's cronies, but there was a reason why Don Corneo liked him and his brothers so much. Speaking of which...

" Oh shit. Tseng...? Where are the other two?"

Well, at least I didn't have to bother answering that question, as the door opened behind me and I was dragged out by the throat. Nero was holding me in the air by the throat like a little girl. Fucking hell, these are the situations where you wish you were incredibly fat and heavy, like president Shinra. I heard that godawful chuckle of Max's as Tseng actually cried out in shock.

"Well looky here bro, if it aint little Reno." Caesar chuckled.

"Goddamn! Long time no see Reno, how are things up on the plate?"

"Get the fuck off me you stupid brainless piece of shit!" was what I tried to say, but what actually came out was a series of incomprehensible gurgles as my windpipe was squeezed. I threw out a damn pathetic swing at Caesar as Nero hurled me to the floor. Ah shit, now in addition to a fucking painful hangover I was about to get pummelled. Perfect. This day just got better and better. I put a hand on my throat gingerly and watched Tseng still in the car, still pointing a revolver at Max, but he was looking at me on the ground in front of the bonnet with a surprised look on his face. Like I said before: Max wasn't smart, but for a guy of his size he was damn fast. Tseng's distraction was all he needed in order to knock the gun out of his hand and send it flying down the alleyway out of Tseng's reach. I didn't see any more of what was happening to Tseng, as Nero and Caesar were suddenly looming over me with stupid dumbass grins all over their faces. Shit what was I, a circus exhibition?

"Never thought you'd show yer face round here again runt, after running off to join the Shinra."

"Yeah well I'm full of surprises." I wheezed, still dizzy as they came nearer.

"The Don's gonna fucking kill you when he gets hold of you, you'll have more than those poncy scars on your face once he's through." That's it you dumb shit...come a little closer... just a little -

"C'mon, Nero...let's kick the little bastard senseless, just for old times sakes."

I went for my electro-rod and lunged at Nero, who for some goddamn stupid reason was leaning right over me as if he thought I wouldn't fight back. I caught him in the chest and sparks of electricity started spreading out as he screamed in pain. I held it there for a few moments as his skin began to bubble and melt. Damn now this was better. I let a bloodlustful smirk spead across my face as the asshole in front of me collapsed on the floor. Dead? Maybe...hopefully. He fucking deserved it if he was.

"What the hell'd you just do to my bro?" Caesar shrieked at me as I stood up. I went to lunge at him too but this time I missed. I was half dazed and hungover, after all. The next thing I knew I'd stumbled, and Caesar had followed close behind me, pushing me up against the side of the car, and making a Reno-sized dent in the side. For the first time since the fight had started I could see Tseng. He'd gotten out or been dragged out of the car, and was currently struggling with Max for control of the crowbar. Oh fuck, we were screwed. I tried to struggle away from Caesar's grip but lets be reailstic here: some big ass weightlifter versus me, puny little Reno with my skinny body.

"You just kill my brother you little shit?"

"Get-the-hell-off-me."

Caesar brought my arm up my back as hard as he could and I grunted. Caesar knew fucking well how to hurt me, and he hadn't forgotten over the years, but now he had a new toy to play with: I felt my grip slip on the electro-rod and it clattered to the floor. My eyes shot wide open as I saw Caesar bend down to get it out of the corner of my eye. In front of me, Tseng had lost his grip on the crowbar, and Max proceeded to bring it down hard on Tseng's arm. Tseng crumpled to the floor. I looked on in horror... Oh fuck no. Then I screamed as Caesar shoved my electro-rod into my back.

My entire body began to shudder uncontrollably and my brain felt numb. Lines of white light appeared across my eyes and I could actually hear my own skin bubbling as I continued to scream, knowing fucking well I was dying, but unable to do a damn thing to stop it. Through the white lines I could still see Tseng, who was now looking up at what was happening with what looked like utter pain in his face. Then it all began to dim away. Fucking hell, I was dying! I remember hearing Tseng shout my name... before Caesar suddenly pulled away and I sank to my knees, still shuddering through electric shock. All my senses began to dim away to black, and the last thing I saw was Rude coming back, gun at arms length as he started to fire. Then I moaned and lost consciousness, lying half dead in the middle of sector 6.

Author's note: If you haven't figured it out from the fact its written in past tense...Reno isn't dead. THERE WILL BE MORE, I PROMISE!!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Reviews: You know what I think about reviews already, but I'll say it again anyway: Reviews good, reviews nummy

--

Chapter 11

"...You gonna be okay?"

"Fuck... somebody fetch me a whisky."

Laughter. Who was that laughing? Damn assholes, invading my sleep. Can't a guy have a nap without being harassed by people? And why in hell did my back ache so bad? What in god's name had I been up to last night?

"Don't worry. He'll be fine now he's come round, and his wound's been healing quite nicely these past few days."

Woah! Wound? What fucking wound? I didn't remember gettin' no wound. I didn't really want to open my eyes: I felt like I had a hangover the size of Midgar plate, and whatever I'd been upto last night had left me with an unbelievable backache. Whoever she'd been, she must've been good because I felt fucking exhausted. I opened an eye...and then shut it again as unwelcome light shone through at me. Oh who in the hell had opened my curtains? Didn't they know when Reno goes out drinkin' he always has a hangover next day?

"And when will he be able to come back to work?"

...Okay lets just hold everything here. That was Tseng's voice. Why in god's name was Tseng in my bedroom?! My heart jumped for a moment and I grinned. Had he...? No, no way I would've remembered that. I forced myself to open my eyes, letting the sunlight through onto my pupils with an annoyed grunt as I tried to adjust my vision.

"He had a nasty electric shock Tseng, but the Mako fluid seems to be doing its job. Give him a few days and he should be out of bed. A week or so and he'll be well enough to go back to work."

"What the hell you yappin' 'bout? Where the hell am I?" I moaned. So far I'd figured I wasn't in my own bed. For one thing the air didn't smell of rotten pizza and cheap aftershave. It smelled clean, like a hospital maybe? My eyes focused finally to see...ah, Tseng leaning over the bedside with what could have been anxiety lurking somewhere in that expression. In a flash I remembered everything: going down to the slums, the fight with the Max brothers...being stuck in the goddamn back with my electro rod. I coughed in sympathy with myself and stared up at Tseng.

"Morning princess... how's the wound?"

"I feel like fuck." Eloquent Reno...real eloquent. Tseng smirked down at me and nodded, as though answering a question someone had asked him. "How's the arm?" I remembered Max bringing the crowbar on Tseng's arm suddenly, and Tseng showed me he now had a huge cast over it and I couldn't help but flinch in sympathy.

"If you think that's bad, you ought to see your back. It looks like something gone wrong in Hojo's lab."

Gee, thanks' Tseng. What a comfort this guy was. I suppose that was a joke meant to make me feel better but it just made me wanna throw up. Yeah I know, what a wuss I am. I looked around the room sleepily. Rude was also here, leaning against the far wall with his arms folded like a hard man. I squinted and let a lopsided smile form on my face.

"Hey man."

Reno grunted in manly acknowledgement.

"Didn't know if you were gonna wake up."

"Aw, were ya worried about me?" I grinned. The silence said it all, and Rude turned and looked out the window, trying to hide the fact that he actually was. Triumph spread across my face as one of the nurses came to check the flow of green liquid being pumped into my arm. A miracle, Mako technology: sucking weird green stuff from the earth that up until just before the war, no one knew existed, and now it was used to power cars, electricity, magic...and more relevant to me right now: could heal. I let the nurse do whatever it was she was doing and looked back up at Tseng.

"So how the hell did we get out of that?"

"Rude came back just at the right time. We taught those two not to fuck with Shinra. They're swimming with the Zoloms in Midgar's sewers just about now."

"I thought I was fucking dying!"

"You were." Said Tseng smoothly, "Or rather, you would have been if I hadn't brought my cure materia with me. You're a prick, Reno, you nearly got us both killed...and you dented my classic '88, messing around. I've docked your wages accordingly, and when you finally stop lying around in this bed you'll be revieving a bill for the bodywork reparations..."

My jaw dropped. Hypocritical, harsh damn bastard! He was the one who drew a gun on one of the Don's cronies, not me. How in the fuck was it my fault? I was about to argue my case when I felt a flow of warmth spread right up my arm as the nurse increased the flow of Mako fluid. I suddenly didn't give a damn about whose fault it was as my brain tingled at the sensation. I grinned wider, and looked up at the nurse with eyes glazed over.

"Better?"

"Hell yeah..." I drawled, and giggled to myself like an idiot. I dont know about mako fluid...from the way I was acting, anyone would've thought they were pumping me full of goddamn alcohol. That image floated in my befuddled brain for a second as I closed my eyes, suddenly insanely tired. I felt Tseng get up from the bed but I subconsciously grabbed for his hand, pulling him back towards me and for some stupid reason just held it there in both hands. If I'd actually known what I was doing I would've let go damn fast, but as it was I felt like my intelligence and reasoning had just dribbled out my ears, leaving me just with the urge to hold Tseng's hand and a damn stupid inane grin on my face as I drifted away.  
"Jus' make sur' they pay f' th' elephants." I drawled stupidly as I fell back into unconsciousness, still holding Tseng's smooth hand until he removed it from my grip.

"I've increased the Mako flow. He'll heal quicker, but his body will react to the chemical imbalance like alcohol or a drugs. He'll be fine though."

The last words I heard were Tseng's, as he got up finally and stepped over to the door of my private room. (One perk to the job: private rooms in Shinra Tower's hospital floor. Mostly because President Shinra doesn't want people to know what the hell we do so we're kept seperate as much as possible. Like I said before: Shinra treats the Turks like his bastard sons.)

"Well make sure you ring my office when he comes round properly. Rude?"

And then they left, or rather I think they left. I was too busy grinning inanely in my sleep to notice much. Damn I'm converted. Forget tequila or whiskey...just give me a bag of this stuff and I'd be happy all day.

The next time I woke up was in the middle of the night. I was still pretty out of it, though thankfully the fucking stupid grin had worn off in my sleep. My back still hurt like fuck though, and I groaned as I went to sit up in the bed. It was damn dark, and out the window all I could see was the voluminous cityscape of Midgar and it was freaky to look at it when the rest of the room was in complete darkness. Why had I woken up again? Oh yeah...I needed a drink, or had it been a noise? I stared around the dark room, suddenly aware of how alone I was in here. Jesus Reno stop being such a lameass prick. You aint scared of the dark, and you sure as hell aint afraid of being alone: you've been alone for long enough, so deal with it. Still... I couldn't help but shudder. And then I noticed the shadow sitting in the corner.

It was human shaped, or for fucks sake I hoped it was as it got up and stepped forwards. I grabbed for Lola, which I normally kept under my pillow at home, but Tseng hadn't been thoughtful enough to leave me a gun. My dazed eyes tried to focus on the shadow but the fucking Mako fluid was keeping my senses to a bare minimum. My damn heart was having trouble stopping itself from exploding in anxiety, and I stared confusedly as I made out that it was a tall, well built man standing before me. I thought hopefully for a minute that it might be Tseng. Then the shadow said the words that made me sick to my stomach.

"They told me you'd woken up." Rufus sneered darkly, "You missed our meeting... so I thought I'd come to you." 


	12. Chapter 12

I'm not too keen on Rufus/Reno, so if this chapter is overly crappy I apologise, but that's my excuse. Also if you're not a big fan of rape and torture, I suggest reading this chapter with those eyes closed.

Reviews: I love reviews, good or bad, and I love the people who take the time to give them to me. so please review? *bats eyelids*

Chapter 12

Rufus' silhouette was outlined against the cityscape as he moved closer. I could hear the bastard breathing in the silence, hear his footsteps as he came closer to my bed. The Mako fluid in my veins was the only thing stopping me from getting up and bolting for the door, but I felt too damn weak to make a move so I just sat there, bolt upright in the bed like a stupid ass, just watching as that sadistic son of a bitch came to stand over me at the bedside. Holy fuck, I'd forgotten about what happened when I'd woken up before, but now he was actually here it all came back to me, every minute fucking detail of what Rufus had done to me swam round in my still dazed brain. I whimpered as I felt a shadowed hand reach down and trace my jawline slowly. 'Oh shit not again' was all I could think. I knew - even through the mush that was currently my brain - exactly what he was here for, and from the way his hand was trembling I'd say he'd been waiting for it a damn long time. I looked up at the Rufus-shaped shadow leaning over me, wondering what he was planning on this time. It's not like I could refuse, after all: both from the fact he could send me back to the slums, and from the fact that the Mako fluid was making me too goddamn spaced out to say no.

"You know I don't like it when people miss meetings with me, Reno. It makes me angry..."

At the same time as he spoke, his fingers were trailing down from my jawline, my neck, and started tracing circles across my bare chest in the dark. I shuddered, first at the sound of that fucking psychopathic voice, and then at the feel of his touch. I was at least thankful for one thing: at least I couldn't see those cold blue eyes boring into me in the dark. The sensations as he brushed his fingers across my nipples made me ghasp like a woman. I hated this, I hated every fucking second of it. I knew what he wanted so why didn't he just get it goddamn done with? At least this time, the pain wouldn't be as bad, right? Wrong.

"Holy fuck!" I shouted, as Rufus' fingers suddenly slid under my back and pressed down on my burned skin. Rufus put his other hand over my mouth to muffle the sound as I screamed. I could nearly taste the bastard's excitement as I thrust my hips from off the bed, trying desperately to get away from the pressure on my back but the hand just stayed there. Eventually I realised he wasn't letting go so I settled back onto the bed, whimpering through Rufus' hand at the intense pain he was putting me through. I closed my eyes to blink back tears as I heard him laugh above me. Fucking psychotic bastard. If I'd had the strength I would've layed the mother out, vice president or no.

"There you see. You need to be more compliant to your superiors Reno...or do you want to end up back in the slums?" He let go of the wound in my back and took his hand from over my mouth as I shook my head desperately. The mako fluid was fucking with my brain majorly and I couldn't help but act like such a wimpering idiot. I think Rufus liked it, as he panted heavily for a second before climbing on to the bed and straddling my waist with a groan. Once the pain of my wound had died down I realised something fucking ridiculous: my dick had yet again betrayed me...I was starting to go hard as Rufus ground our hips together, our erections rubbing against one another as he rocked on me. I couldn't help but groan. Despite the fact I knew he was about to fuck me senseless again, and put me through as much pain as possible, I knew I couldn't stop him. Outwardly, I was passive and damn frightened, inwardly I was panicking like fuck. I didn't want this, no matter what my dick might have me think. There was only one guy I really wanted to do this to me, and it sure as hell wasn't Rufus.

The shadow of Rufus pulled back away from me and I felt as his cold smooth hands pulled my hospital issue boxers down and off. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head of this fucking Mako fluid anough for me to speak and tell the psychotic son of a whore to leave me alone. Heh...so much for that plan. I heard Rufus get off the bed and walk around to the Mako drip. At first I wasn't sure what he was doing, then I felt that farmiliar glow of warmth spread up my arm...the bastard had increased my Mako drip. I felt my brain turn to goo like earlier this afternoon, but this time I didn't grin, I just whimpered, unable to string a goddamn sentence together due to the unbelievable feeling of inebriation. I started to feel sleepy again, but there was no way I could let myself fall sleep...who knows what he'd do to me if I did?

"That should keep you quiet while I give you your punishment." Rufus chuckled cruelly, and resumed his place straddling my now bare hips.

"Bastard." I found myself trying to drawl, but the sound that came out was more like a drunken moan, and the next thing I knew, Rufus was leaning right over me, so close I could feel his breath on my face.

"Didn't Tseng ever teach you when to keep your mouth shut?" He said darkly, and I realised his fingers were there again, pressing hard on the wound in my back. Fuck! I yelped, but the sound became muffled as Rufus closed his grinning lips over mine, kissing me so hard that my head was being pressed into the pillow behind me. He opened my lips roughly and thrust his tongue inside my mouth as his hand continued to press on the wound in my back. I didn't have the strength to stop him. The Mako fluid had fucked me over, I was Rufus' little bitch to hurt or to please, to do whatever he wanted with me. All I could do was listen and yelp into his mouth, eyes shut so goddamn tight, trying to convince myself yet again that this was not happening. Just a bad dream, that's all, just that fucked up head of yours playing games Reno.

Damn well if this was a dream, then it was a fucking painful one. I finally hissed when Rufus released my lips and pulled his hand away from my wound. I could only see his silhouette, but I could feel those damn hateful blue eyes, staring down at me, helpless and whimpering underneath him as he sat back up, his weight pinning me to the bed as he unzipped his flies. That goddamn too familiar sound echoing through my defunct brain like an earthquake. I knew what was coming...one way or another. I tried to stay silent as Rufus grabbed my legs and pulled them over his shoulders. I'd figured by now that speaking would just result in pain, and besides I had about the same speech capacity as a brain damaged sperm just now, so he wouldn't understand what the fuck I was saying even if I tried.

The shit being pumped into me had made me go numb, but I could still feel the pressure on my ass as Rufus pressed his cock up against me. I inhaled slowly and waited for the pain to start.

The thing is it didn't. Well, when Rufus thrust into me it was goddamn uncomfortable and I did hiss, but it was nowhere near as painful as when I'd been in his office. Maybe the Mako fluid had made me relax enough for it not to be painful? More like I was so outta my head on the shit that I couldn't feel a damn thing, wether it was as bad as last time or not. I lay back and tried to keep quiet, tried to recede into the mushy depths of my fucked up brain as Rufus fucking Shinra grunted, pounding into me as hard as he could, probably expecting me to cry out or plead for him to stop, that's where he got his kicks, right? But I just lay there, moaning quietly whenever he hit my sensitive spot, my eyes clenched tight as I gave myself up to the sensations running through my body. I was shuddering uncontrollably, my entire body was spasming, probably through over exhertion, I mean I'd only regained consciousness this afternoon, for Christ's sake, and as he began to plunge faster both our groans and grunts became louder. He reached across and tangled a hand in my hair as his hips bucked into me. The other hand, I felt creeping up my back again, back towards my bloodied wound. I shook my head patheticly, trying to ask him not to. I should've known better than to ask the bastard for anything. As soon as he saw me shake my head, he laughed and pressed hard against it. The wound that had nearly fucking killed me, and he was pressing it. I shuddered and tried to scream again, nearly passing out from the pain as he rubbed his fingers around my burned skin. Tears were forming in my eyes and I started to sob. Fuck I know: that was the worst thing I could've done, it was also the most unmanly thing I could've done. For a Turk, crying is just something you don't do - ask Tseng, but my impulses and my reasoning weren't working together because of the bastard Mako fluid, and I just couldn't stifle it any more.

Hearing me start to cry I felt Rufus let go of my hair and his grunts suddenly got louder. A few seconds later he pulled his hand away from my back and wrapped that same hand around my length. Man was this guy fucked in the head: one minute he's fucking torturing me, the next he's trying to make me come. The pain gave way to something else when he started to stroke me. There were still tears in my eyes but I'd regained control of my brain functions so I'd managed to stop that goddamn stupid crying. I came pretty quickly under Rufus' hard strokes, covering both my groin and his hand in my cum as I groaned pathetically and panted, wishing to god that he'd finish and leave me alone. He did, about ten seconds after me he let out a short grunt, and he let his load escape inside me. I didn't even blink: I couldn't feel a damn thing anymore. I think I was beginning to black out from the pain and the exhertion. I closed my eyes as the sadistic bastard pulled out of me and lowered me back correctly onto the bed, cleaning away the evidence of what he'd done as I just lay there, unable to speak or move because of the shit being pumped into my arm. Once everything was as it had been before he'd arrived, the shadow of Rufus headed for the door. I watched him leave as my vision started to dim, but before I lost my sight completely I saw the light from the coridoor shine on his face. Fuck, those eyes. Laughing at me like I was a fucking chimp in a zoo. A sneer spread across his psychoticly handsome face as he said words that would hang in my brain in my sleep:

"See you tomorrow."

Then he left, shutting the door behind him leaving me and my screwed mind as I gave up the useless fight for consciousness. Before I was lost completely though, one word escaped my lips, one fucking word that appeared from nowhere and yet somehow calmed my mind, reassured me, helped me convice myself it would be okay...

"Tseng." I whimpered, and then I lost consciousness.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's note: On an entirely unrelated note, I'm currently looking for ffVii RPers via MSN. I already have a Cloud, and I (of course) am Reno, but anyone else from the original game, or even Advent children, I'd love to have! (Not Crisis Core or Before Crisis please :3) Check my profile for more details, and my MSN...

Chapter 13

"I want to come back to work."

It was the morning after what had happened. The nurses had finally taken me off the Mako fluid after realising that for some unexplainable reason, I'd nearly overdosed on the stuff in the night. I was back in control of my brain, which considering what had happened to me, wasn't really a good thing: my muscles were completely fucked, and I felt like I'd just climbed the side of Gaea's Cliff with a 12 ton elephant strapped to my back. I would've preferred to have been hooked up to the Mako fluid with my brain like goo than be just sitting in this fucking hospital bed wide awake, feeling, knowing damn well what had happened and not being able to do shit about it. Plus, Rufus' last words had been spinning in my brain all night: "I'll see you tomorrow." That bastard would be back again tonight, and tonight I wouldn't be out of my head on Mako, so it would hurt a hell of a lot more. Fuck, what in hell was I supposed to do? Let the asshole screw me over again? No, no way, that wasn't happening if I could damn well help it. I was outta this place as quick as I could be. Eventually I'd called for Tseng, and ten minutes later he was here, standing at my bedside watching as I tried to hide the fact I was still in goddamn agony from the wound in my back...and other areas.

Tseng stared down at me blankly, as though I'd just said the stupidest damn thing he'd ever heard and I saw a smirk start to spread across his face. I hate it when Tseng smirks. The way it looks on his face is surreal, it makes you wonder what the hell he's thinking behind it, or what he's planning to do. More than that, it's another one of those looks that makes me, this normally headstrong self conceited asshole in this bed here, turn to mush under his gaze and basically act like a pathetic little lapdog as long as the look is on his face. I stared up at him from the bed, despite feeling like crap finding it hard to surpress a gooey smile forming on my face.

"You want to come back to work." He said, an undertone of disbelief as he said it. Yeah Tseng, that's what I just said. What the hell are you, a parrot now?

"Yeah boss, that's what I said."

He sighed thoughtfully and looked up at the ceiling for a moment while I sat there, waiting for some kind of response. I knew I was pretty fucked up, what with the wound on my back still causing a damned awful amount of pain, and feeling the results of what Rufus had done to me last night, but all the more reason for me to get the hell out of here. If I could get myself out of this place and back in normal Turk business, there would be less chance for Rufus to get at me. I have to admit it: after the way Rufus had acted last night I was scared as fuck. Yeah, you heard right I was scared, and with good reason. The guy was sick in the head. Sicker than I'd even thought about before. Fuck knows what would happen to Shinra Inc. if that guy ever took his daddy's place.

"Reno you regained consciousness yesterday, you nearly overdosed on Mako fluid today... and you think you're fit to come back to work?"

"Yup."

More silence. What, was it that hard to believe that I actually wanted to do something and not stay in bed all day? Probably. Tseng above all people knows how damn lazy I can be. On more than one occasion he's caught me sleeping on the job, and once he actually checked up on me to see if I was working and found me with one of the girls from the kitchen staff instead of doing the paperwork like I was told to. Yeah, I guess I can see why he'd be suspicious of me wanting to actually work. Suddenly Tseng laughed. It was a deep purr of a laugh but it took me by surprise and I screwed up my face in confusion as he stared down at me, a silky chuckle escaping his lips. What in the planet's name?

Tseng hardly ever laughs, and when he does it's normally a damn cruel laugh at either mine or Rude's expense. This time he wasn't really laughing at anybody in particular, and he folded his arms as he subdued his laughter, surpressing it into a smirk.

"Oh now I get it. I see where this is going."

"You do?" I stuttered, trying to hide the anxiety in my voice as I gripped the bedcovers, unsure of exactly what it was Tseng meant by that. He has this awful nack of knowing exactly what's wrong with people. It's so damn annoying to speak with someone who knows you inside out, when they're so fucking difficult to read. Tseng just smirked harder, though I kinda noticed his eyes narrowed when I spoke.

"This is all about money, isn't it? Reno, you're on sickpay, there's no need to go around trying to prove you're some kind of martyr, because it will not... I repeat: will not get you a payrise."

Now that hurt. My jaw dropped and I looked up at him with my mouth wide open in shock. Shit, how shallow did Tseng think I was? Sure, I'm a lazy, egocentric, sensation junkie, but did he really think I was that obsessed with money? Who the fuck did he think I was, President Shinra?

"This has nothing to do with goddamn money, Tseng." I growled through my teeth, trying hard not to get up and go for his throat. He stepped back calmly and sighed, opening his hands like a politician.

"Then tell me Reno, tell me just what it is you're trying to prove. You can barely sit up straight, let alone carry out Turk business. You're in no fit state to come back to work."

"And I guess you are then, with that injured arm?!" Whoah, did that just come from me? That Mako fluid must've screwed with my senses: I'd just questioned Tseng's authority. The look in his face when I said that: the utter absolute shocked disgust adorning his face. Heh...guess he'd never expected me to question him like that. Hell, I'd never expected it either, but I suppose my fear of Rufus was more than my fear of Tseng right now, and until I was sure I could get the hell out of here, I was prepared to fight. Tseng steeled himself and glared down at me.

"You will remain on sick pay until that wound is healed. Then, and only then, will you be allowed to return to the Turks." Damn awkward bastard, looks like I pushed him too hard. He turned away and went for the door. With a groan I tried to pick myself up off the bed to follow. Shit I couldn't just let him leave me here to wait for Rufus to come and screw me over. I had to do something... oh hell no, I was going to have to do something that would dent my ego brutally: I was going to have to apologise.

"I'm sorry."

Those damn words stuck in my throat like broken glass, and it came out more honest than I'd planned. I got up and hobbled over to Tseng, who'd halted at the sound of my voice. I stifled a groan as a stabbing pain shot through from my back, and looked at Tseng, his back turned, that long jet black hair so close I could've reached out and touched it...if I had the guts. As it was I just stood there like a moron, searching for something more detailed than just 'I'm sorry', sucky damn words, that's why I hate apologising, it makes you sound like a little girl. Eventually I sighed and shrugged to Tseng's turned back.

"Shit, listen Tseng: I don't want to be sitting in this goddamn room all day. I want to be doing something, anything but sitting in that bed all day staring out the window. This place is sending me freaking insane. Just take me off sick leave..." another word coming that would sting my throat: "...please." I said pathetically and dropped my head so that my loose red hair was falling over my face. I just needed to get out of here, as far away from this room and the memories of Rufus as I could. It was driving me insane, just sitting there in the bed where last night, Rufus had been kneeling over me, hurting me, goddamn kissing me. I shuddered to myself, waiting for some kind of response from Tseng. There was a sigh, and I saw him reach up with his good arm to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Reno...you will stay here until that wound heals." He said seriously, and walked through the door, shutting it behind him. 'Like fuck I will.' I mumbled to myself, and tried to open the door. I say 'tried', because Tseng had locked the door behind him, making sure I couldn't disobey his orders.

Fuck.

I pounded on the door madly. Shit, Tseng couldn't do this! He couldn't lock me up like this, I had a goddamn right to leave! Nobody seemed to give a shit about the fact Reno was stuck in this damn room though, or at least if they did, nobody came to help. I stood there banging on that door for the best part of ten minutes, before I started to get tired and my throat became too sore to shout any more. I staggered over to the window, looking down at the whole of Midgar spread out before me, and the Shinra carpark right underneath. I could see Tseng's car from here, still with that dent my body had made under Ceasar's immense weight six days ago. I desperately needed a cigarette and a good bottle of whiskey, but my cigarettes had apparently been taken off me for 'health reasons' and I doubted wether the nurses would be kind enough to bring me any alcohol. Damn you Tseng... I knew he was only trying to stop me doing something completely stupid like following him and Rude out on a job, but by trying to help me, he'd just condemned me. All I could do was wait here now, just wait in this too damn clean hospital room and wait for him, wait for Rufus to come back. 


	14. Chapter 14

Random: ...for some reason the linkin park song Numb was what I was listening to when I wrote this chapter. Try it: for some reason it sets a pretty good scene.

Reviews: You know I love reviews, and if ya dont then ya do now: good or bad, gimme your feedback, and thank you to all those who already have... I kneel in your almighty presence.

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Chapter 14

So about an hour passed. I was insanely calm about the whole situation and yet scared as hell. I couldn't stand the idea of just waiting here in this godawful room for six, seven hours...just waiting... Okay, so stress control is something a Turk is taught right from the start, but this was getting to me. Way getting to me, as in grey hair, spazzing out getting to me. I leaned out the window and stared down into the carpark pathetically. Damn Tseng, why the hell did you do this? Do you really think I'm that much of a fuck up that I'm gonna follow you round?

My eyes were drawn across the carpark as I saw two men in dark blue suits walking across from the lobby. Tseng and Rude, no mistaking that pair... mostly because of that godawful bald head of Rude's, bouncing the light off it and nearly blinding me. Plus the fact they were now getting into Tseng's car. I glared down at them as they got in. Not quite sure what in hell I was hoping to achieve by that, but hey, I was stressed, I can be forgiven. Then Tseng, far below me in his car, slammed a clip into a sleek new gun, and it hit me where in the hell they were going.

Don Corneo.

I winced. I couldn't help it. Tseng and Rude were heading straight back into the Don's territory, and without the almighty Reno as backup. Holy shit, what in hell did Tseng think he was doing? Didn't he remember what happened last time? And this time he was going down without my help, without the help of the one who knew that fat bastard's gang inside out. I slammed a fist against the wall subconsciously as Tseng's sleek black '88 reversed and roared out of the Shinra carpark. Asshole, that was the only word for Tseng right now. Annoying, self-righteous, stubborn... sexy ... gorgeous... asshole. If he and Rude did this right now, there was a very good chance, the next time I saw them would be to identify the bodies.

Shit, that was enough for me, I snapped. From one minute being some half dazed, miserable little prick I was suddenly goddamn determined to get the hell out of this place. I grabbed my Turk suit from the drawer and rushed to get dressed, in the end just having the shirt half done up, and the buttons done up wrong. I found my electro-rod in the bottom drawer along with Lola, so I picked them both up and holstered them. Fuck the wound: if I didn't try to help, Tseng and Rude were dead. My goddamn self-pity could wait.

The next obstacle was the locked door, and for a shitty weak Reno it had been enough to stop me, but I was crazed. I could imagine Tseng's body being dragged from the sewers a few days from now, bloated from the water... strangled. shot. electrocuted. Or something worse. Fuck no, as long as I was still able to move I wasn't about to let that happen. I took a flying leap at the door. There was a crash as the hinges burst, and the door fell out into the corridoor. The nurses outside screamed as they saw me with a psychotically determined look on my face, run straight over the broken door and towards the stairwell. The wound in my back should've been hurting like fuck right now, right? But it wasn't. I felt numb, as though my pain receptors had just died. The only thing that mattered right now was getting to Tseng. I think my brain had snapped under the pressure of all the shit, and the only thing I was worried about right now was Tseng. Rufus could do what he wanted to me, I'd let him as long as I could just get to Tseng, be close to him, protect him from that fat cruel bastard in sector 6, who not only killed anyone and everyone cruelly, but liked to torture them for days before he carried it through. Tseng... It was as though I'd suddenly turned into this martyr in his name, because while I leapt down those damn steps I was prepared to let anything happen to me as long as Tseng was kept safe. I'd go back to the slums, I'd let Rufus do what he wanted, holy shit... I'd die to keep him safe.

The security guards in the lobby had apparently been warned by the nurses that a demented Turk was heading out, because they'd called for backup, but one look at the crazed look on my face and they ran for it. Damn right, too: if any of them had tried to stop me I would've killed the bastards. The receptionist cowered behind her computer as I sprinted past, barely hesitating even as I opened the door. I rolled over the hood of my crappy old car and tried to get in, but apparently Tseng had confiscated my car keys too. I told you he was fucking perceptive, didn't I? In the end I just smashed the window and climbed into the driver's seat. Time to test the skills I'd learned in the slums: I'd have to hotwire my own damn car. I'd never been very skilled at doing it but somehow today I got it right first time, and the old gal roared as I sat back up, a determined grimace on my face. I screeched out of that fucking car park, not really caring what wing mirrors or bumpers I managed to knock off in the process. Heading through the centre of Midgar like a madman I actually managed to get to the tunnel to the slums without hitting any pedestrians. A lot of people got their bumpers removed by me though, and some of them went to get out of the car. One look at the Shinra employee badge on the front though, and they thought twice about it. I think I must've set some kinda world record down those streets, because within twenty minutes, full speed in my crappy, ten year old car, I was at the road entrance to sector 6.

***

When a Turk tries to hide themselves, it's a damn hard job to find them, even if you know they're there. I'd seen Tseng's car already, but it was right on the other side of Wall Market, so that the Don wouldn't suspect and highten his security. Tseng and Rude would be somewhere creeping around the backstreets of the mansion, but so far I'd found nothing to show me they were here. It occured to me maybe they'd already been caught but I couldn't think that or it'd screw my mind, so I dismissed the thought and carried on searching, not really giving a damn anymore wether people recognised me or not because trust me, the mood I was in right now? The bastards would be dead before they hit the floor.

I'd just about completed an entire search of the backstreets when I heard a deep laugh from up ahead and a 'sshhhh'. My heart did goddamn cartwheels as I recognised Rude's laugh and I sprinted madly in the direction it had come from. Within a minute I was faced with Tseng and Rude, standing in one of the darker shadows of the alley as they talked. My eyes hooked on Tseng, still alive, still as cold a son-of-a-bitch as when I'd last seen him. The determined and angry look I'd had all the way here just melted into a gooey smile and then I did something really fucking insane: I ran up and actually... threw my arms around him. I could smell that goddamn beautiful smell of his clothes that up until now, I'd only ever been able to smell from a distance. I sighed and closed my eyes, relieved at least to be here with him, whatever might happen from now. He tensed up in my arms but right now I didn't fucking care wether he felt awkward or not. I needed this, just for once I needed to let my emotions show. Rude could say what the fuck he liked, I needed to be in contact with Tseng, to show my brain that he was still here, still alive. Eventually Tseng pushed me away, but not roughly, only enough to tell me to let go.

"Reno what the hell is the matter with you?" He said in a surprised, stern voice.

For once, I said nothing. No smart ass comments, no egocentric wise cracks. I was just glad to be here, right next to this miserable bastard where I should be... right next to the cold son of a bitch...I loved. 


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Obviously, Tseng wasn't impressed with what I'd done, and while him and Rude told me just which limbs of mine they were going to break for following them, Tseng had this permanent: 'Reno, without doubt you are the stupidest, craziest, most downright patheticly annoying asshole in the entire history of the world, ever' look on his face. But did I care? Did I fuck! That stubborn bastard could stare at me all he wanted, I'd just sped across Midgar like a psychotic chocobo to get to him, and I was damn well going to stay here. Tseng tried a few times to get me to go back, but he above anyone should know what a stubborn little prick I am, and after the third attempt he sighed and looked at Rude with resignation on his face. Score one for Reno! Even if I was mentally screwed up right now, Tseng's look just made me have to smile. Damn but I was smitten. I suppose I've always found him attractive, but it wasn't until today I really understood how deeply. I was...in love with the son of a bitch. Why else would I have come after him? Why else would I have been so panicky at the thought of losing him?

"Reno... you'll go back and wait in my car then." My face fell flat.

"You send me back I'll damn well follow you." I said seriously, and Tseng just winced as I let my lip curl up into that lazy smile I trademarked - he knew he couldn't just shake me off now, so he nodded to Rude and they set off down the sidestreet, with a very happy little me, grinning like a moron as I followed them. It was good to be back in business again.

I kept my eyes on Tseng as much as I could as we walked, trying to stay close enough to protect him if something happened. Yeah, I guess I'm a little overprotective, but this was all a little new to me: this 'love' stuff. I wasn't really sure what the hell I was doing. I had two main objectives as far as I was concerned:

1) Protect Tseng 2) Protect Tseng

Oh...okay that's one, but I guess that means I'd have to protect him double the amount.

Suddenly, Rude who'd been walking some distance ahead to scout, beckoned us over silently to look around the next corner.

"Looks like this leads straight up to his back wall."

Tseng looked at me for advice and I nodded.

"Yeah. The Don used to use the back entrance to get stolen stuff in and out when Shinra were watching the front of house."

"Well Shinra are going to use this little passage for themselves now. Any guards?"

I shrugged stupidly. "There used to be two, but it might have changed since then." I suggested. Is it just me, or is Tseng being really hypocritical here? One minute he's telling me to go home, and the next, he's asking me for info. Damn him. If he weren't so lovable, I'd've strangled him by now.

Tseng and Rude suddenly stalked forwards, seeking refuge behind trash cans, pieces of debris, anything to hand really as they came up to the wall at the back of Don Corneo's mansion. I ran forwards to the first trash can I saw and leaned over it, Lola in hand, pointing at that hateful fence in case Tseng and Rude were spotted. They weren't. In fact, there wasn't even a sound coming from the Don's mansion. No gunfire, no drunken laughter, no women shouting or groaning from the fat bastard's bedroom. This was...odd. Normally it's Tseng goes in for all this 'gut instinct' crap: "Our instincts are more potent a magic than mako..." blah blah blah. Sure, I'd die for the guy but he can talk the biggest load of shit, I wonder where he gets it from. 'Shinra's Big Book of Borgeois Crap' maybe, or '10 ways to bore your employees to death'.

Anyhow, I'm going off at a tangent here. The point is, that for once I was buying what Tseng had said. This place didn't feel right, it was tense, it felt like there were eyes everywhere yet nobody was around. Or maybe that was just me feeling paranoid about this place? Huh, probably just me. I mean, I wasn't exactly in the best psychological state here was I? So I just brushed it off as me being a paranoid asshole, and watched as Tseng...slowly opened the door. I held my breath, expecting gunfire any second, but the door just swung open on its hinges, revealing the empty storage room behind. It wasn't even locked.

Now this was fucking insane. I didn't care if it had been two years or so since I'd been here: the Don would never leave this back entrance unlocked and unguarded, wether he was a sex-obsessed moron or not. I got up from behind the can I was crouching and went over to Tseng and Rude, a little nervous at first, being faced with an entrance to the mansion again after so long, but eventually realising if I was gonna protect Tseng, then I was going to have to go in there. Both Tseng and Rude looked about as stumped over this whole thing as me.

"Urgh, what the hell's going on?" Rude moaned at me quietly, looking into the darkness with what looked like confusion lurking behind those damn shades. Not that it was difficult to confuse Rude anyway, like when we go drinking and he somehow mysteriously ends up buying nearly all my drinks, but in this instance I could empathise with him.

Tseng just 'hmm'ed to himself as he peered into the dark storage room with that new silenced handgun held out at arm's length.

"I smell...a trap." Said Tseng, in that dangerous business voice he always got out on these jobs. His dark eyes narrowed as he searched the air for something. I just stood there like a fool, nearly goddamn shuddering at the memories I got from that room. The next thing I knew I'd put a hand up to one of the scars on my cheek and was running a finger along it with a frown on my face.' Stop it Reno, forget that crap. You've got enough shit to think about without bringing that up again.' I dropped my hand and looked at Tseng expectantly, just like Rude. There was a reason why he was the boss, and we were the lackeys, yaknow? The reason being me and Rude are both dumb as a post, but Tseng...man, he's smart, perceptive, commanding. Just a little difference between us then, eh?

"Well, trap or no, orders are orders. Just keep your eyes peeled. Rude, take the front. Reno? Take the rear."

I'll spare you the images that popped into my head at that point shall i? Okay.

Rude disappeared into the darkness first, almost swallowed up by the complete blackness of that storeroom, next Tseng disappeared, and then with a deep, painful breath, I entered the storeroom that had betrayed me once before...a long time ago.

"Where in the hell's the lightswitch?" There was a clatter as Rude walked into something up ahead, followed by some curse words that even my ears weren't used to hearing.

"Don't trip." I joked half heartedly in the darkness.

"Rude...? Reno...? shut up." Lovely employer/employee relationship we have in the Turks. Sort of: I'll scratch your back, you attack mine with a garden rake.

I knew this room too well to have forgotten where the goddamn lightswitch was, even in total darkness. I walked straight up to the wall with the lightswitch and flicked it on, to be faced with Both Tseng and Rude aiming their guns at me. I stuck my hands up subconsciously.

"Woah! I just turned the light on, not a goddamn bomb." I said defensively, and the guns lowered. Then out attention was drawn to what was actually in the room.

Guns...and guns....and more guns.

And, you know, maybe a few more guns than that. You get the idea? There were many many guns. Rude let a 'woah' escape under his breath. Tseng just kicked the lid off a differently shaped box in the corner. Inside was some very rare, neatly packed materia, all different colours. Summon materia seemed to be the major theme though. He picked up a piece and threw it to me.

"I guess we can be sure that the good Don is the one behind the attempted coup d'etat then." He whispered, and passed another piece to Rude. "No point in wasting good materia on common criminals." He smirked, and then stood back up, pushing that Raven hair back behind his ear before looking at me. "This isn't our mission though Reno. Orders come straight from the President. He wants the Don either dead or a born-again Shinra supporter. Do you think you can lead us to his office?

The Don's office? I literally gulped, but I tried damn hard to hide it.

"Sure." I really hope they didn't hear the catch in my voice when I said that. Tseng nodded and indicated to the wooden steps leading up into the house. He wanted me to take the lead. Oh crap. I hesitated.

"You're the one who wanted to follow us." Oh great Tseng, throw that back at me. I took a deep breath and started walking up those dreaded steps, hoping to god that Tseng walking up behind me didn't see me shaking. This door lead out behind the steps of the Don's lobby, meanin there was no turning back. Believe me, I'm not the kind of guy to get easily scared but this was my past. The whole reason I'd agreed to join Shinra was to get away from this hell hole. My scars were burning like they'd been made yesterday as I turned the doorhandle and walked slowly out into the oh-so-fucking-familiar heart of what I'd hated in sector 6. Just like the room behind us, nobody appeared to be here. I turned back to Tseng and Rude standing in the doorway and nodded.

"Seems like the coast's clear." I said.

Damn me and my mouth.

The next thing I knew, there was a shout and a huge group of the Don's lackeys jumped out at me from the boxes and other random crap littered around the place. I fired Lola about 3 times before she was wrestled out of my panicking hands. Oh crap, it was a trap. I kicked, punched, bit and did every damn trick in the book, while I heard Tseng and Rude giving firing cover for me from the safety of the dark staircase. A few of them fell dead or unconscious, but it was only a matter of time before somebody's fist found that spot on my lower back. Fuck. I screamed and doubled over, in complete fucking agony as the same guy hit it again harder.

"Bastard!" I screamed as I was pulled back upright and a knife was put up against my throat. Oh Fuck, smart move Reno, you've just become a fucking hostage!

The room suddenly became silent, apart from my grunts as I tried to stifle the pain in my back. The guy with the knife to my throat pulled my head up by the hair and stepped forwards towards the staircase. I could see Tseng's silhouette as he stood there flat against the wall with gun in hand. The guy holding me just grinned.

"Tseng of the Turks. We've been expecting you."

Silence. But I noticed that Tseng's silhouette shifted a little as his name was said. So the Don knew the Turks were coming? So this entire thing had been a setup like Tseng thought.

"As you can see, we have your man. Put down your weapon and come out, and Don Corneo gives you his word neither of you will die."

Don Corneo's word huh? Yeah like that's worth a damn thing. He'd do just the same to us as every other prisoner he took. 'For the love of God, Tseng run! Just run, get the hell away from here!' I was screaming inside my head. I didn't want Tseng to die, especially in this shit hole with me. Surely he must know that this guy was lying? I just stayed silent as the blade rested dangerously against my neck. Silence from Tseng, though I could see he hadn't moved. Probably trying to figure something out to get me away. Eventually the guy behind me got impatient and thumped me in the lower back again. I halted a scream but Tseng seemed to shift at the sound. Holy fuck no, he wasn't seriously considering it, was he?

"You have thirty seconds Turk, or his blood makes a new addition to the Don's carpet."

Twenty of those seconds passed v-e-r-y slowly. I figured I was about to die, and decided to pray to every god and deity I'd ever heard of just in case I picked the wrong one to pray to. The next ten seconds didn't pass in quite the same way, as almost exactly on the ten second mark, Tseng stepped out, weaponless with his arms in the air, but Rude didn't follow. My eyes just nearly popped out of my goddamn head, then I sighed and closed my eyes in despair. Shit Tseng, what the hell are you doing? I would've preferred you to leave me to die. Because of me, the guy I'd set out to protect had ended up surrendering to the Don, and now he was going to die right here with me.

Life really fucking sucks sometimes, don't it? 


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

The knife at my throat relaxed a little and the bastard behind me began to laugh, his rancid breath hitting the back of my neck. He was still holding me up by the hair, which was just as well, because I was having trouble stopping my legs from spasming in horror, as I watched Tseng step indignantly into the awaiting circle of the Don's lackeys. Every fucking step he took, his eyes didn't move from me, and it just made me want to turn away or hide. There was either disappointment or concern flickering dimly at me in that stare. He knew just as well as me that the Don had no intention of letting us live... but then, why in god's name had he given himself up? It didn't matter though. Me and him were already dead, and in a few days our bodies would be found floating in the sewer systems of Midgar, another pair of Turks that didn't do their job properly, and got what they deserved.

Shit, this couldn't be happening. The guilt going through my fucked up head right then was indescribable, and for me, guilt aint normally a thing I let bother me too much. Oh hell, I didn't mind dying, but for Tseng to die with me? That would be torture. To watch the guy I was in love with die and not be able to do a damn thing would be utter torture. I'd set out to protect him, but the only thing I could offer him right now was the godawful pathetic apology in my face as they searched him and tied his hands behind his back. A few seconds later I realised the knife had been taken away from my neck, and the same was being done to me. I didn't bother to fight it. What was the fucking point?

The hand in my hair released and I staggered, realising for the first time since we'd been ambushed that I was being allowed to stand freely. I felt like I was drunk or stoned or some goddamn thing, and I just couldn't stand up straight. It was probably from the pain in my back that had suddenly caught up with me, or maybe it was from disbelief. In the end I just swayed and collapsed back against one of the Don's men, who just laughed at me and pushed me towards Tseng. In the entire goddamn thing, I didn't take my eyes off Tseng, somehow scared in case he was suddenly taken away when I wasn't looking. 'Goddamn it Reno, stop acting like such an old woman. If you're gonna die, die with a little style.' For some reason when those words went through my head they were in Tseng's voice. I looked up at him, from where I'd ended up kneeling on the floor, and he looked back at me, controlled and calm. Yup, Tseng was the perfect Turk, alright: Calm, professional...compared to me - a staggering fucking wreck. I decided to take a leaf out of Tseng's book and brought myself up to my feet, now standing next to him facing the hoarde that had ambushed us. I recognised a few faces among them, and they sure as hell recognised me, from the moronic grins on their faces.

"Hey, it's the runt." I heard somebody say, and then the guy who'd had the knife to my neck stepped forward again and grinned.

"Welcome back Reno." He smiled, letting disgusting yellow teeth appear behind his lips. "How's life as a Shinra lapdog?"

"Fuck you." Wow, what a comeback. 10/10 on the crapometer. At least the Don's men seemed to find it funny anyway. Tseng next to me sighed, as though he'd expected more of me or something. Heh...staring into his own death, and still rating me on my work. Now that's what you call 'work obsessed'.

"So what do you plan to do with us then?" Ah geez, Tseng, you had to ask didn't you? There was a silence. The entire place seemed to be swamped in damn silence. The guy with the knife placed the point of it against his thumb and stared at it intently as he said the next words.

"We're going to fucking kill you."

Like I'd expected any different.

"And what happened to the Don's word?" Damn you Tseng, we're about to fucking die here, how can you be so calm? I looked at him out the corner of my eye. I realised how hunched over and troubled he looked. Shit, I'd never seen Tseng like that before, even under major stress he normally looked so sleek and pristene. Right now he looked like fuck. Damn it, I wanted to reassure him. Standing there faced with dying, and all I wanted to do was comfort Tseng. Put my arms around him, stroke that gorgeous hair, tell him it'd be okay. 'Reno, you're screwed in the head. Let's just concentrate on the important things here.'

The guy just laughed at Tseng's words, as did the rest of those miserable bastards. He didn't need to answer - the laugh said it all, and suddenly there was the sound as pistols, handguns, shotguns and a variety of other guns appeared from peoples pockets and holsters...all pointing at us. Somehow that brought it home to me.

"Oh fuck." Was all I could manage to say. Tseng sort of half-smiled slightly, as if he'd expected me to say something stupid like that.

"One..." Said the sneering guy with the knife.

"I'm sorry boss."

"Two..."

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you go ahead." And that would be regret. We both screwed up our faces, ready for the impact.

"Thr-"

"WHAT'S GOING ON?!"

Holy crap! Now what the fuck was happening? I stayed there with my eyes clamped shut for a while longer, just in case they changed their minds, then I heard the sound of heavy footfall coming down the stairs above us. I had a really crappy sinking feeling in my stomach as I realised who the voice belonged to. I shuddered. I couldn't help it, and within a few seconds, Don Corneo was down the steps, wearing that godawful red robe he insisted on wearing all day. I think Tseng was the only one to see me shudder, or for hell's sake I hoped he was the only one. This was all like a fucking nightmare, like all my worst cheese dreams brought into reality.

If there is a God, then he was in a really shit mood when he planned my life.

The Don looked pissed off, and I looked up to see one of the Honeybee girls leaning over the balcony watching, looking kinda flustered.

"What ARE you doing? You know not to make a lot of noise when I'm with the chickies!"

"But Don, you told us to..."

"I told you to capture the two Turks, not hang around here, making enough noise to disturb a-"

"But we *have* captured the Turks!"

Silence. The fat bastard stood there a second as he let that little gem of information sink in to his testosterone-filled brain. First he looked at his men, then at the guns, and then followed the guns until his eyes rested on me and Tseng. Shit. I tried my best to stay calm like Tseng as recognition settled into that fat blubbery face and he stepped towards me.

"Well well. Here's a face I recognise."

Straight ahead Reno...look straight ahead. Keep that fucking brain of yours thinking of something else. It wasn't that I was scared of the fat bastard himself, but I was scared of what he could do, what he had done before. I managed somehow - fuck knows how - to stay silent and calm as his ugly face loomed up before me.

"Take a rat, give it a suit and this is what you get. Welcome back to the fold, Reno. I never thought you'd have the nerve to turn up here."

"Don Corneo." Props for me, I managed to speak without sounding like a whimpering little girl. I wasn't watching the Don, but I felt it when he put a finger on my cheek, tracing the scar under my eye. I held back a flinch. The Don liked to draw death out, it was one of his character flaws, and he'd probably draw mine out a fucking long time. I'd betrayed him for Shinra, he wouldn't let that just slide by.

"Glad to see the scars are still there... let's see if we can't add to them before you die." Then he just walked past me, towards Tseng. I tensed up, ready to try to protect him if Don Corneo went to do anything to him.

"And you're head of the Turks, I suppose."

Tseng remained silent. If there was one thing Tseng was good at, it was silence.

"You killed three of my best men the other day."

More silence.

"And... you nearly ruined my attempt to take over Shinra."

Damn, Tseng had this silence thing down to an art. He just glared at the Don with such utter disgust that, if it was me on the revieving end, I would've untied his ropes and apologised for the inconvenience I'd caused him.

"Before *you* die, you'll tell us who supplied the Turks with that information."

With a simple click of his fingers, Don Corneo walked away and back up the stairs, not even sparing another glance for either us or his men. The last thing I saw of him, he was chasing the Honeybee girl back into his office with a howl. Bastard. Now, instead of dying straight away, we'd be tortured first. Fucking perfect.

In the whole of this, I was wondering where the fuck Rude was, and why he hadn't tried to help us. That thought was knocked right out of my head though, when the bastard with the knife walked up and hit me round the head. I fell to the floor unconscious, though I heard Tseng say my name before I lost complete control of my mind.

The next time I woke up, I was alone and in the dark. No Tseng, none of the Don's lackeys. Just me and a fucking tiny little room without any windows. I realised I was in the tiny storage room under the house that the Don used for people he didn't want to escape, and my head ached like fuck. I moaned woefully. Why the hell was all this shit happening to me? Had I been, like, a raving psycho in another life, and this was my payback? I didn't linger on that thought long though, because I realised a major fact I'd missed first time round: Tseng was not here.

I panicked. Holy fuck, where the hell was he? I put a hand through my lank hair in stress. Maybe he was dead already: who knows how long I'd been out? It might've been a few days, and Tseng had already been killed. I forced the tears back again, knowing I was just being fucking stupid. Of course the miserable old bastard was still alive! Tseng wouldn't just die. He'd fight, he'd do his damn hardest to resist, he might even have escaped.

I comforted myself with that thought, and cradled my head on my knees as I willed this fucking awful headache to go away. I moaned again: It was dark and hot, and I didn't even have my goddamn cigarettes here to entertain me. I just sat there silently. There was no point trying the door: It was locked from the outside, and it was made of goddamn steel. What chance did a skinny little runt like me have at opening that bastard?

It must've been about twenty minutes later when I heard footsteps. Slow, distant, but getting nearer. Then I realised there was more than one set of footsteps. Two or three, maybe. One set was definitely Tseng's. It sounds stupid, but trust me: when you're always looking over your shoulder to make sure your boss doesn't find out about all the girls you've been bringing back to your office, you learn to recognise their footsteps.

I felt myself relax a little at the sound, but then I started to worry again. Was it...just me or did his footsteps sound...uneven? Laboured maybe? I held my breath as the door was opened, not knowing what to expect from him. Suddenly, in the doorway stood Tseng, and I wanted to burst into tears right then and there.

"Tseng..."

He looked awful. He was leaning on the doorframe as if he couldn't stand up without it. He looked pale, with big black rings around his eyes. His breathing was laboured and his normally smooth and calm face looked angst. Shit, what the hell had they been doing to him? I frowned in sympathy and stood up to help him. A second later, one of the Don's men behind him pushed him through the door and he tripped towards me, landing in my arms as they shut the door behind him. He stood there, leaning on me for a second, his arms round my neck like he just needed me to be there. My heart fucking skipped a beat. Those normally gorgeous obsidian eyes were staring up at me from his half-collapsed position in my arms. For once he just looked...so helpless. I'd never seen him as anything other than the hardass son of a bitch he was to me at work. I'd never been allowed to see beyond it...until now. This entire mission had gone fucked up. I'd never wanted to cause this to him...ever. I felt guilt stab through me right then and there. I'd caused this, I'd caused Tseng this pain. There were no tears in his eyes, but I could almost feel his pain flowing through me. I was far too fucking familiar with the Don's methods of getting somebody to talk, so I had some idea of what he must've felt like. I stood him up as carefully as I could and helped him over to the side of the room.

"You need to rest..." I said quietly, and helped him to sit down beside me. He didn't stay that way though, without a word, he closed his eyes and lay his head on my lap. I couldn't help but sigh. Here was Tseng, trusting me, letting me see his weaker side for once. I let my hand hover above his hair for a second...that hair that for months, I'd ached to touch, to caress, before I started to stroke it, velvet smooth under my touch, trying to soothe him. I heard him sigh in the darkness, before he said something that made me feel like someone had just stabbed me in the heart:

"Reno, Thank you." He whispered, and I continued to stroke his goddamn beautiful hair in the dark. Thank you for what? I wondered. For being there? For letting him lie on me? For letting him be weak in my presence? To hear that coming from Tseng... I think that was the point I truly and utterly fell in love with the guy. Before, I'd only seen his hard side, but now, sitting there in the dark, stroking his hair as he fell slowly asleep, his head resting on my lap as he trusted me, I realised there was more to him than that. This was a side of him he'd never meant to show, and yet he was showing it to me, not trying to hide the pain as he usually did. I felt honoured, but then, I reminded myself: we were good as fucking dead already, what difference did it make wether he showed this to me or not?

He fell asleep like that, while I looked down at him, barely moving in case I woke him or hurt him. In a way, I felt sort of at peace like that, but there was also anger flowing through me. That they could do that to Tseng! Whatever those fucking bastards had done to him, it had been bad, and I couldn't bear to see him in any more pain than this. I felt angry, pent up that they could do this to him. I'm Reno: the one that looks out for number one, the one that doesn't give a shit about anything. But that all changed right then and there. I wouldn't let anything like this happen to Tseng again. Last time, I was unconscious, but next time...

"Next time, I'm gonna protect you." I promised into the air, and leaned back against the wall, curling his hair around my fingers as I stared into the black, feeling Tseng's slow breathing as I let myself fall asleep. 


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

I have no idea how long we sat like that, but I can tell you one thing: despite the circumstances, that was one of the most peaceful night's sleep I'd had ever since...well, ever. When I'd been on the streets, I'd had to keep one ear open even in sleep, in case somebody caught me while I was sleeping, and when I'd joined Shinra... well let's just say I lied slightly when I said The guilt didn't get to me.

Right now, knowing we were both going to die, was amazingly the best sleep I'd had in my life. You'd expect me to be having nightmares or flashbacks or some such crap because of what had happened, right? Well I didn't. I slept peacefully and not a goddamn thing invaded my sleep as I lie there with Tseng's angst ridden head resting on me, his fucking beautiful hair wrapped around my fingers as we both slept. Well what else was there to do but sleep? I mean, we were stuck in a 10 by 10 darkroom with no windows, and only one door which was made of steel. It was plain to see we were screwed: even Tseng would have to admit it when he woke up.

That's what was going through my head as I drifted reluctantly back into consciousness. The fact that we were completely fucked. That there was no way we were getting out of this mess. Trust me, I'm not a defeatist, but I knew the fat bastard upstairs too goddamn well to think he'd leave anything to chance, especially when both prisoners were Turks. No, me and Tseng would die right here unless a miracle happened, and if we're going on previous record here, I don't think the almighty was really bothered enough about the lives of two hired assassins to work us a damn miracle.

I groaned back into consciousness, and it took me a full minute to realise something important: Tseng was no longer resting on my lap. I hadn't opened my eyes yet, but I couldn't feel his hair wrapped around my fingers any more, and I couldn't hear his breathing nearby. Holy fuck, no...I thought for a second they'd come back and taken him again when I was asleep. How the hell could I live with myself if that had happened? My eyes shot open to see... Tseng, sitting across from me, arms folded and a hardened look on his face.

When my heart had finished fucking spasming on me, I grunted and sat up. God, but now I was awake, I felt even worse than before, if that was possible. I'd slept in a screwed up position against the wall and my neck ached like fuck. Plus, Tseng just looked...disgusted with me for some godforsaken reason. He was staring at me like I was a piece of scum stuck to those goddamn polished shoes of his, or translated: He was looking at me like he normally did.

I felt myself gulp. He has that effect on me but...what? What the hell had I done to deserve it now? I was just confused: The last time I'd been conscious, he'd been lying on me for comfort, letting me stroke his hair as he fell asleep like a puppy, but now? Now he was sitting right on the other side of the room, as far away from me as goddamn possible, looking at me silently like I was...a piece of shit - no, worse than that - looking at me like... I was that fucking hag Scarlet! So, had he just forgotten? Or maybe...

My heart stopped. Oh shit, was he regretting it now? Was he regretting letting me see that side of him? Or was he nervous, because of how close we'd been? I mean, Tseng was straight, yeah? So maybe he felt like we'd been too close for comfort. I took a deep breath. I recognised the look on his face: the look that said 'don't say a damn thing' but for fuck's sake! What could he do: dock my wages? Heh... I mean: we were dead soon, and the silence was worse than anything Tseng could say to me...right?

"...You okay?"

"I'm fine."

Guess I was wrong again - the ice in that tone was so much worse than any silence. I nodded manly, trying to pass it off as a casual question and leaned back against the wall. There was Tseng's barrier, right back up and unbreakable again. Yep, he was definitely regretting it now, and it made me feel so fucking low. Even lower than how I'd felt when I'd been in Rufus' office, kneeling between his legs...

That image came back to me, but I shook it right back out again. There were way way way more important things to think about right now than Rufus fuck-up Shinra. Like dying, for instance.

"Sorry."

Behold the power of Tseng's stare. I wasn't quite sure what I was apologising for exactly, or why, but I just felt like I should be apologising for something. Heh, Tseng's stare just has that effect on everyone I guess. He blinked at me and frowned.

"What are you sorry for?"

Good question.

I shrugged and looked at the ceiling resignedly. Oh well, may as well apologise for the whole goddamn lot now, it's not like there'd be many other chances, would there? I took a deep breath.

"Lemme think: for being a prick I guess. For never doing my paperwork, for fucking you off, for getting you shot up all those times, for taking cigarette breaks when I shouldn't, for bringing chicks back to the office, for-"

"Reno just stop right there."

I brought my eyes back down reluctantly to look at him. He had his eyes closed and his good hand raised to pinch the bridge of his nose in exhasperation. What? What had I done? I sat there patiently, waiting to see if he'd say anything else. He sighed and eventually opened his eyes. Thankfully his stare had lost some of its sting.

"You keep talking like that, I'll have to suspend you from duty when we get back."

And he didn't say it as a joke, either. He was fucking serious: he actually still thought there was a way out of this situation. Stupid optomistic bastard, whatever they'd done to him must've knocked a few brain cells loose. I knew, even if he didn't, that this was a one way ticket baby. No way out. I laughed coldly and wiped a hand across my still tired eyes.

"You really think that's likely, Tseng?"

A moment of silence.

"Absolutely."

'You damn liar' I thought to myself. Normally, Tseng can get away with any lie and he can act...boy can he act! If he told you the sky was green, you'd take his word for it just because of the reassurance in his voice. But either because of fatigue or some other reason, he didn't quite manage it this time. His voice caught, and he couldn't maintain that stare. He knew just as well as me that we were fucked.

There was an uneasy silence where we glanced at each other, knowing that neither one of us was gonna get out of this shit alive. Eventually I spoke. If you didn't know yet: I have a fucking awful big mouth, and I hate it when nobody is talking. It stops me from thinking too much I guess, because thinking either makes me depressed, or after a while I get a headache because I'm none too smart.

"What happened to Rude?"

Tseng smirked. For once I was actually happy to see him smirking, it was better than that stare.

"His men said for only me to come out. Rude wasn't even mentioned. The Don was expecting two Turks to arrive. If you remember you were supposed to still be on the hospital wing right now?"

Tseng did the eyebrow on me. I let a lazy smile spread across my face.

"They knew one of them would be me. 'Head of the Turks' has a certain reputation in the slums..."

Yeah: The word 'Turk' was the equivalent to 'bastard spawn of the devil' down here, so I guess the word Tseng would be 'Unholy asshole King bastard spawn of the devil'. And how damn right they were sometimes.

"...so they must have thought you were the other Turk. I told Rude to report back to Shinra tower and tell Heidigger what had happened."

'Not that it will make much difference.' I thought miserably. Heidigger loved to kick the crap out of people, but he wouldn't stick his neck out for two goddamn Turks. We were expendable, replaceable. That was the whole fucking point.

"Well at least Rude got away." I sighed, and untied my ponytail. My hair was so goddamn matted through one thing and another. I realised I hadn't actually touched a comb in over a week, and on a normal day, I couldn't pass a fucking mirror without checking my hair. Tseng shifted, and I noticed he was still pretty much in pain from whatever they'd done to him. He grunted as he moved, and I had the urge to go over and help him. 'Stop acting like such a fucking prick Reno, he doesn't want your help.'

Eventually he settled down again, nearer to me this time and he looked a little more at ease. Well, at least that was something.

"Yes, Rude did get away. But only at the expense of your freedom. You should never have followed us. I mean look at you: You're a wreck."

'Well, thanks for the compliment.' I felt like saying, but I knew he was right. My back was a complete fucking mess from the pounding it had gotten in the fight, and my muscles kept spasming on me. Medically, I probably shouldn't have been anywhere but a bed right now, but Tseng was more important than my stupid insignificant health.

At first, I thought what he'd been trying to say was that it was all my faoult, and I was planning some long-winded apology to appease him with, but...the more I looked at his face, the more I realised - it was sympathy, and there was guilt in his eyes and voice, like it was all his fault or something. Shit, Tseng, why do you need to feel guilty? It was stupid prick Reno here that got you into this godawful mess, remember?

"Well..." Tseng cut me off with a loud sigh.

"Reno, I caused you to get that wound. You're one of my team, I'm responsible for you when we're out on a job."

Now *that* was a goddamn apology, as flimsily covered as it was by work. I was dumbstruck. Tseng - The Tseng, The Tseng that always finds amusement in my fuck-ups, the Tseng that has the complete and mastered ability to make me feel low as shit - was apologising to me. I didn't say a damn thing, I just stared, my mouth opening and closing like a demented goldfish as it sank in that he was actually being sincere. What the hell do I say to that? 'It's ok'? 'It wasn't your fault'? Because I knew that either reply would just make him feel patronised. Then the urge came over me...maybe I could just kiss him instead?

Oh my god, it was so fucking tempting. I even got so far as to close my eyes, but somehow I managed to stop myself from leaning in towards him. I didn't want to scare him. I needed him to be on my side right now, to be somebody to at least goddamn talk to. Thankfully he didn't wait for an answer, though I could tell from the tone of his voice that he'd wanted one.

We went back into silence. I think I offended him, but I truthfully had no idea how to answer what he said.

"Tseng."

"Mmmm?" He said warily, as I opened my eyes again.

"Talk to me."

Shit, that sounded like such a plea. But I guess it was. I didn't want to sit in fucking silence until the Don's men came back again, either for me or him. I needed to keep my mind occupied. Hell, if I actually thought about the fucking mess we were in, I'd probably have a nervous breakdown. Especially since I hadn't any nicotine for...an entire goddamn week? I couldn't normally last an hour without a cigarette. Oh god, I needed him to talk to me so badly. Replace the nicotine, Tseng. Give me some comfort...

He stared at me for a second before letting the look in his eyes soften slightly. I think he recognised the need in my face.

"What do you want me to say, Reno?"

"Whatever you want to tell me. Just talk. Tell me... tell me how you ended up in the Turks."

Any other situation, he would've beat my skinny ass to a pulp: that was the 'forbidden question'. Like saying 'what are you in for?' in a maximum security prison. People who join the Turks don't join just for the hell of it. There are always reasons, problems, demons. Rude told me his - they were pretty much the same as mine: escape from starvation, rough sleeping and Shinra Law Enforcement. But Tseng never told me or Rude anything about his past. I wanted him to tell me now, while I still had ears left to listen, and he still had a goddamn tongue to tell me. Something flashed in his eyes when he realised what I'd said. He looked sad for a second, before covering it up.

"You want to know?"

I waited. He sounded so sad suddenly, looking rather at the ceiling than me. He rested his head against the wall and sighed.

"I joined...because of the war."

Okay... now I'm confused. Tseng was Wutaian, no doubt about the fact, and yet...he'd joined Wutai's wartime enemies because of the war? I screwed up my face up trying to work it out. Tseng half smiled at me, seeing the confusion on my face.

"My mother was from Junon, my father from Wutai."

"...Oh."

"When the war started, I was driven out. They killed my mother."

"...Oh."

"So I came to Midgar, and they offered me... a chance for revenge. I took it."

"...Oh."

Shit. No wonder he kept it to himself all this time. Well, that was obviously a shortened version and he didn't want to talk about it any more. Crap, how could I have not known that before? He looked so goddamn sad, I wanted to say something to comfort him, but anything sentimental I'd've tried to say would've just come out wrong. I have a habit of talking shit when it comes to consoling people. The best I could do was another '...oh.' and a shameful glance at the floor. Tseng looked solemnly at me again.

"Don't feel sorry for me Reno. I got my revenge thanks to Shinra. This is my repayment."

So just like the rest of us, Tseng sold his soul to Shinra. I guess we aren't so different, huh? He sat forwards and stared at me.

"So you tell me your reasons."

I frowned at him as I subconsciously placed a finger on one of my scars. He'd damn well seen my personnel file! He knew!

"You already know that."

"I know what's written down on paper." he corrected sternly, and then nodded at my lifted hand. "But I know that's not the only reason... Those have something to do with it."

I bit my lip. Fuck, what the hell was with the guy and his perceptions? Why couldn't the head of the Turks be some dumb prick, instead of virtually goddamn psychic Tseng? But hey, what the hell! I was dead soon, right? Would it make much difference if I told him about them? I took a breath and closed my eyes. Fuck, I was about to recall the worst moment of my entire life - worse even than anything that had happened this past week.

"Don Corneo told them to." Okay. Fact number one over. Time to move on to number two. "Caesar, Nero, in the basement we came in by." Tseng shifted at my uneasiness, I think, but he didn't say anything. Shit, here came fact number three. "They thought I was tipping Shinra off about the bigger jobs we pulled - which I wasn't. Don Corneo thought he'd teach me a lesson. I came in that way one day, because I was meant to be keeping watch. The...lights were out. I couldn't see a fucking thing. Then I tripped over something on my way to turn the light on, and that's when they grabbed me."

I looked at Tseng to see if he was listening to me. He was, and there was a look of concentration on his face as he stared back at me. This was the hardest goddamn thing I'd ever had to explain to anyone.

"They cut my fucking face open with a pocket knife to teach me a lesson." Jesus, I was turning my own stomach with this story. Tseng tried to hide a cringe, but didn't quite manage it as well as he usually did. I decided to spare him the details of what happened, more for my own sake than his. "I just remember waking up after it was over with my face wide open. After that I just had to get the hell out of here, one way or another. Get up to the plate, away from all this shit."

There it was. He wanted to know, I told him, and what a goddamn effort it had taken. He was staring at the scars on my face as though trying to visualise what had happened. Oh fucking hell, Tseng! Just stop, leave it! He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose again.

"Reno..." he said, eyes closed in confusion, "If you hate this place so much, then why in hell did you follow me and Rude?"

Oh crap. Twenty thousand Gil question right there. It's not like I could just say to him 'because of you' is it? How in the hell was I supposed to explain that away as a friendly co-worker relationship? I'd kicked down a door, broke into and hotwired my own fucking car, and come back to this godforsaken shit heap to get to him. Can you say 'Reno, you're an over-obsessed psycho'? I know Tseng could, given the right prompt. I decided, half truth was the best way to go.

"I couldn't just sit in that godawful room all day, staring out the window. I needed to do something."

Something sparked in Tseng's eyes then, as though he'd caught onto something in my voice. He leaned forward, those gorgeous but searching brown eyes flickering across my face, looking for something.

"What was so wrong about that room? And don't give me any shit about you hating hospitals, because both you and me know that isn't the reason."

"Holy fuck." I whispered to myself in shock. So he'd seen through it? My god, was I that easy to read? How long had he known there was something wrong, I wonder? The night he rang me, maybe?

I blinked back any tears that might've been brimming in my eyes, trying to maintain some kind of dignity with what I was about to say. Shit, I couldn't lie to him. He'd know, and after the shit I'd landed him in, he deserved the truth from me on this. This was going to be hard...

"Rufus..." Just saying that goddamn name made me shudder. I couldn't believe I was telling someone, least of all Tseng.

"Rufus...?" He encouraged.

Deep breath Reno, stop hyperventilating.

"...Rufus raped me in that room." I blurted. My god! It was out at last. My heart was beating wildly. What the hell would he say? I managed to look up at him. His brow was knotted and his eyes were closed, I didn't know what that meant, and I really didn't want to know.

"Oh shit." I whispered and turned away, trying to hide my face. I didn't want him to see me now, no way. I felt like fucking dirt, like that first night after Rufus all over again, only a hundred times worse, because now Tseng knew about it. I tried to blink back all th tears, but somehow one escaped and trickled down my cheek, running along the channel my scar made along my face. Oh hell, Tseng probably hated me now, for letting Rufus do it or for being a goddamn chicken. If only he'd speak...

The tear running along my cheek was suddenly wiped away by something warm and soft. My heart just stopped right then and there. It felt like lips...

My eyes shot open to see Tseng, kneeling in front of me, his lips pressed to the scar on my cheek. What! Slowly, his lips began to trail gently down my cheek, his other hand cupping my chin as he lifted my face up so that his lips were closed over mine. I didn't struggle, didn't even move. I was holding my breath and I was paralysed by the shock. Slowly he began to move his lips over mine, gently parting them and slipping his tongue in to slide along my teeth and caress the roof of my mouth. I nearly collapsed into spasms of shock right that goddamn second...

...Tseng: gorgeous, coldass Tseng was fucking kissing me!

'Oh Jesus I love you Tseng!' was what I wanted to scream, but as my entire vocabulary had just gone flying out of my brain in a shock induced whirlwind, I just whimpered into his mouth. He took it the wrong way, and broke the kiss, looking into my eyes apologetically as he backed away.

"Gods I'm sorry Reno." He whispered, not bothering to hide the nervousness in his voice. Oh fuck no, I'd waited so damn long for this, it was like a dream come true, and he wasn't getting away from it that easily. Before I knew what I was doing, I'd grabbed out for his shirt collar and dragged him back towards me, bringing him back into a kiss. No soft kiss this time though, this was pure fucking lust, and Tseng didn't object at all. If I'd had any doubts about how to approach Tseng before, that went out the window right now. I pressed his lips hard against mine as I felt his hand behind my head. That kiss was so hard and fast, and my god, I'd never felt so good kissing anyone before. No woman I'd ever seduced had made me feel this good, this right. The next thing I knew, I was undoing his shirt. Not just undoing it, but ripping it off him, wanting to just touch his dark skin, like I'd fantasised about so often. So what if the Don's men walked in on this? I didn't fucking care, and from the way Tseng was groaning into my mouth, neither did he. We'd never get another chance at this. We'd be dead soon, and this was the only consellation we had. The lust had taken control. It was all that mattered right now.

Oh. My. God. Tseng, the one I'd thought was undeniably out of my league, was groaning over me, ripping franticly at my clothes as though he'd been waiting for this as long as I had, as though he needed me as much as I needed him. I'd never thought he was capable of this kind of passion, when normally he was cold as stone. I felt dizzy, lost in the smell and touch of him as we attacked each other's mouths and clothes. Damn, but it was surreal to hear him groaning into my mouth, acting exactly the way I'd dreamed he would act. I felt my groin start to tingle as he pulled my shirt off altogether and ran his fingers over my back greedily. My god, one touch from this son of a bitch could turn me to jelly.

I suddenly realised I was groaning just as much as Tseng. My eyes were closed tight and I was beginning to run out of air. Neither of us wanted to break this kiss though. I think I'd've rather suffocated in him than let go, but eventually Tseng broke away to take in gasps of air while we ripped franticly at each others' clothes. I buried my face in his neck, determined to keep contact between us while he caught his breath. He smelled fucking gorgeous, it just smelled of...Tseng, there was no other way to describe it. I flicked out my tongue subconsciously to taste him and felt the shudder run through him afterwards with a low moan.

Both our shirts were off, lying in shreds on the floor. Tseng turned his attention to lying me down on the floor as carefully, but as quickly as he could. Neither of us could wait any longer, neither of us wanted to. I watched with fascination as all my fantasies about my boss came true before my eyes, though in the fantasies I have to say, Tseng's chest had never had quite so many black bruises over it. I forgot that though when Tseng's hand slipped down over my cock. I shoved a fist in my mouth to stifle the cry, and my back arched up off the floor. Fucking hell, I wasn't going to last much longer if things carried on this way, I wanted him too badly. I stared up at Tseng, shirtless, as I reached up and ran my hands all over the perfect chest I'd longed to touch, the chest I'd fucking drooled over. His eyes were glazed over, probably mine were too, and his lips were slightly open to let out quick pants as he worked at my belt, trying to get it off me as quick as he could.

Damn the man that invented the belt. He obviously wasn't thinking about the horny when he made it.

I was getting impatient. I needed this so fucking badly. Eventually I sat back up and pulled Tseng back into a wild kiss as he finally undid the buckle and slipped it off me. We groaned into each other's mouths, tears in my eyes through the pure need, our tongues wrapping around each other, searching deep in the short time we'd have to sense each other before the end. I'd just begun working on Tseng's button fly, panting his name as he began kissing down my chest

"Oh Jesus...Tseng..." I hissed, wrapping my shaking hands in his long black hair as he began to lick down my abdomen. I'd waited so long for this. So unbelieveably fucking long...

...And that's when we heard footsteps coming from the passage outside.

Oh shit.

We both stopped and looked at each other in horror, partly from the fact they'd find us like this, but mostly from the fear of who they were, and what they were coming for. Tseng kissed me again, this time, despite the pants, very gently and sadly and I realised what he was doing as the footsteps got nearer.

He was saying goodbye to me.

I blinked back the tears forming in my eyes and forced myself to half smile at him to show I understood as we both pulled our shredded shirts back on and regained control of our breathing. Crap. I gulped. This was it. Whoever was taken from this room now, probably wouldn't be coming back.

Shit, and I hadn't even told him how I felt. But it was too late. We both stood up, wearing what was left of our shirts and suits as there was the sound of keys being turned, and the door opened, blinding both of us temporarily with the electric light.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

For a second, all I could see was a horrible bright light in my eyes as I struggled to control my breathing. Fuck, I just hoped I wouldn't have to watch Tseng dragged away. I've never been much of a martyr - in fact I've always been a self indulgent little prick - but I just fucking prayed it would be me who was taken this time. I couldn't stand the idea of being left alone again, I'd go insane.

"...Reno. Tseng."

Oh holy hell, they wanted us both.

A second later, my eyes began to get used to the light again, and I could see Tseng, standing next to me, breathing a little hard still, but the look on his face had returned to that godawful business stare as he glared out at the doorway, as though nothing bothered him, as though nothing had happened. Damn but I just realised how insanely good he was at hiding his emotions. I guess he just wanted to end things with a little class.

He walked towards the door slowly, and for a second my impulses just told me to stop him, but shit, look at me: I was still having trouble hiding the fact I'd been panting lustfully just a minute before, and I felt like I was half dead already. There was no fucking way I would be able to protect him in this state. The best I could do was follow him as he walked indignantly out into the passage, where they were waiting for us.

Well, when I say 'they', I mean 'he': there was just one guy there in front of us but holy crap, he was built like a brick wall. Tall, mean and bald, he must've stood about a third taller than me. No wonder there was only him sent to take us. If we'd tried anything he would've been able to grind us both into the goddamn floor without a second thought.

He didn't say a word, he didn't even move. Goddamn it! What was the bastard waiting for? I sighed. I just wanted them to get it over with now. I was fed up of all the hanging around.

"Stop fucking with us, just get it over with." I snarled. Well, all the lust and warm fuzzy feelings I'd been having in that room had sure disappeared fast. In fact I was downright pissed. For one thing: being disturbed in the middle of getting laid was enough to piss anyone off - especially when it was with someone you'd lusted after. And for another thing this guy was just getting on my nerves. He wasn't moving, he was just standing there. Stupid bald bastard, what the fuck was wrong with him? I glared up at him... and then did a double take that would've been worthy of a Midgar Academy Award. Wait one fucking second... put this guy in a suit, give him some annoying shades and... oh my god. I lost any control I had over my legs and had to lean back against the wall to prop myself up.

The guy grunted and nodded at us.

Rude.

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but found my vocal chords had freezed up through pure joy. Believe me when I say I never thought I'd be so happy to see that annoying bald asshole ever. I was practically ready to throw my arms around the guy. In the end I forced one word out of my mouth, the only word that was in my vocabulary at the time.

"Bastard." I said in awe. If I could've translated it, it would've said something like this: 'I am so insanely unbelieveably in your debt right now that if you asked me to lick your ass, I would.'

Rude just grunted a laugh at me. I must've looked out of it, from shock and just utter esctacy as it sank in that the unbelievable was actually happening: we were being rescued.

Rude's gaze then turned to Tseng, who looked just as blank as if being rescued from the jaws of death was an everyday thing. He nodded at Rude with a polite but stern smile as he dusted off what remained of his jacket.

"Jesus you two look like shit." Rude said, seeing the state our clothes were in. This was the point where I was supposed to make up some flimsy excuse for it, but at the minute I was too lost in relief to utter a damn thing. Tseng just coughed.

"Well done Rude." Was all the praise he got from Tseng, but it's not like he expected anything more. God I loved Tseng, but he was a miserable bastard when it came to work. I couldn't help but grin. For some weird reason, seeing Tseng slip into business mode was comforting to me. It meant there was a reason for him to still keep the barrier up. That reason being that we were going to survive. I sighed and closed my aching eyes for a second. Finally, after all the shit something was starting to go right for me. If blood and sweat was anything to go by then I'd say me and Tseng deserved this break right now.

"So where's SOLDIER? Are they waiting outside?"

"Umm..." I watched as Rude scratched the back of his bald head and let the grin slip off my face as anxiety sank miserably back into my stomach. Maybe this wasn't suck a lucky break after all.

"Oh Jesus Rude no." I let slip quietly, and he looked at me. Now those stupid damn glasses were off, I could see exactly the emotions in his face. I knew what he was doing. He was here alone, without Shinra backup, without Heidigger's permission, without a goddamn fucking clue as to how to get us out. Tseng sighed loudly, closed his eyes and shook his head, and for a second I saw the weaker side of him I'd seen earlier slipping through, before he blocked it out with indifference. So we weren't out of the shit after all. Rude, the loyal, lovable, but dumb prick, had just given us a change of scenery.

"Well at least we're no longer trapped in that room. That's something we must be thankful for." Tseng said concisely, nodding once at me, but only letting his eyes flicker over me, rather than maintaining eye contact. I felt my heart sink at the sudden distance in that look, as though nothing had changed between us, as though a few moments ago we hadn't been tugging desperately at each others' clothes and moaning into each other's mouths. I was suddenly so goddamn confused by him. Where had the warmth I'd seen in those eyes just disappeared to? 'This is no time to be thinking with your dick Reno' I thought to myself, 'there's no point in thinking about it right now'. Absolutely goddamn right. Right now was the time to be thinking how to get out of this mess, without ending up with our entrails strewn across the floor.

"How did you get in?"

Rude looked down at him, one of those scarily rare grins starting slowly to spread across his face until he looked like some evil goddamn gorilla looming over both of us.

"Heh... you ever want to get somewhere, you go through the stuff of an ex-thief." He said quietly, and pulled a lockpick from his jeans pocket. Wait a second... that was *my* goddamn lockpick! The bastard had been going through my fucking office! I grabbed them off him with a glare. Tseng wasn't supposed to know I still had them: I was supposed to have handed over all the 'tools of the trade' when I'd joined Shinra, but I'd kept a few neat little bits. I used the picklock a lot... normally when I was too damn drunk to remember where I'd left my apartment keys. Well, it looked like if we got out of this mess, I'd have to come up with a new idea: Tseng coughed suspectly and held out his hand to me for them. I looked up at him innocently. Well... as innocently as a hired assassin was allowed to look.

"Boss?" Damn, his eyes were dark and cold again as he glared at me. Fuck, couldn't he at least acknowledge the fact that something had changed? I didn't mind if it was just the tiniest thing: a quirk of his eyebrow or a flicker of something to tell me I hadn't just fucking imagined the whole goddamn thing. It was real, right? I mean, I hadn't been hallucinating, had I? I could still taste him in my mouth...

" them to me." My heart just sank. If it could, it would've gone straight through into the ground it felt that low. I was searching goddamn hard for something to indicate he wasn't ignoring it, but I couldn't see anything in his eyes, just that usual disgust he has for me on normal days... If he felt anything, then he was hiding it fucking well. I frowned and handed the lockpick over, looking down at the floor like a puppy being told off for chewing his master's shoes. Tseng just nodded. "Any other little keepsakes I need to know about?"

"No boss." I lied. I couldn't believe he was blocking me out again, after I'd opened up to the bastard, too. I'd told him about my scars - something I'd never even told fucking Rude. And I'd told him about what Rufus had done to me, and what was he doing all of a sudden? Blocking me out, repremanding me. Cold, cold bastard.

"Then let's go and finish the job."

"What?" Me and Rude gaped at the same time. What the fuck did he mean 'finish the job'? Had the son of a bitch lost his goddamn mind? Tseng blinked expressionlessly and glanced at us both.

"We had a setback. And since Rude did not bring SOLDIER backup... tecnically we still have to finish the job."

Me and Rude just stood there, mouths wide open like assholes, staring at each other in shock. Jesus, didn't Tseng know the difference between doing the job and being obsessed by it? And fuck it, I would've said that if I'd been able to speak. As it was I just stared stupidly as Rude reluctantly handed over the gun he'd brought to Tseng, and that stupid, cold, confusing asshole just sauntered down the coridoor towards the steps up into the house, knowing damn well me and Rude had no choice but to follow him. There's a reason why he's the boss, after all...

We followed close behind, weaponless, and wondering what the fuck was going through Tseng's head: we would have trouble enough getting out of the house without being disemboweled, so god knows how in the hell Tseng was planning on getting into the Don's room alive, and *then* getting out. He either had something pretty fucking spectacular up what was left of his sleeve, or he'd just gone kamikazee on us, and considering the pummeling both his and my psyche had been having since we were caught, I wasn't prepared to rule out the second one. He at least looked calm, but then, so do those psychopathic killers in those goddamn slasher movies Rude likes so much. It was worrying how insanely unconcerned he seemed. He stopped on the steps up into the room above, gun held expertly in one hand as he listened for any movement. It was quiet up there, but I knew that wasn't any reason to trust it. This passage led up into the Don's lackey's room, where they slept, watched TV, and shared the whores they'd hired from Honeybee. Most likely they were just asleep or watching TV right now. For a second I wondered how the fuck Rude had gotten in, but as Tseng crept up to the top of the stairs I realised.

They were all asleep. Every single fucking person in that room was asleep. My god, how goddamn lucky did I feel right now? I could feel the nervous sweat beading up on my forehead. Yeah yeah, call me chicken if you like, but me? I like a good ol' fashioned assassination to all this fucking creeping around. Tseng stepped out into the room and looked around, followed by me and Rude. Thank fuck for the stupidity of these assholes: Most of them were passed out in front of the TV in the corner, bottles of cheap vodka clasped in their unconscious fingers. A few were back here near the tables, but they were passed out too. If we were lucky, we might be able to get the hell outta this place without waking the bastards up, as much as I had the urge to slit their throats as they were sleeping. Now that would be justice... but if there's one thing you learn by working for the Shinra, it's that nobody gets what they deserve.

Tseng had absolutely no trouble getting to the door: he has this annoying habit of being able to walk up right behind you without so much as a sound, and he loves to use it. He loves to make me jump out of my fucking skin when I'm doing something I'm not supposed to be, but this time at least it was being used for something other than sadistic pleasure. He turned back and nodded to me to go next.

I've never been much of a guy for all this sneaking. True, I used to be a theif, but to be blunt I prefer a good street brawl...preferably one where the odds are in my favour. I nearly tripped up, more than once as I tried to step over the random crap across my path, only to be rewarded with a harsh glare from Tseng. Couldn't he at least give me a break? I could've sworn that guy wasn't right in the head: in the space of five minutes he'd gone from ripping my clothes off, to trying to give me fucking frostbite through his eyes. I eventually did make it across to the door... barely. I swear I was halfway to a heart attack by the time I got there. And then...it was Rude's turn.

Heh...if anything was going to screw up, it would have to be Rude's fault, wouldn't it? Dumb, flat footed, clumsy bastard that he was. He actually started off well, he didn't put a foot wrong...until halfway across.

Somebody moaned in their sleep and moved. I can only guess the movement caught Rude's eye, and he forgot what he was doing...his legs got tangled in those of an overturned chair, and he fell face first onto the floor...with enough of a fucking noise to wake up the whole of sector 6. Tseng held his breath. My eyes just bulged, and my heart nearly jumped out of my mouth. Oh fuck.

As Rude scrabbled to get up, the entire fucking room came to life. There was the smash of bottles as most every bastard on the room jumped up and let go of their alcohol at the sound. Most of them seemed to be majorly hungover, thank fuck, so it took them a while to realise what was happening, and Rude was standing again by the time they managed to focus. The guy who'd held the knife to my neck was the first to see what was happening and he roared.

"Fucking Turks!" Well if the rest of the assholes here didn't know what was going on yet, they damn well did now. Rude ran for us, and I heard Tseng open the door and head through, but my legs were rooted to the fucking spot. I wanted to move, fucking hell I wanted to move! But my leg muscles had frozen up on me again, so I just stood there like a prick as the guy with the knife jumped over the table to get at me. Rude just ran past, and it took Tseng finally grabbing me by the jacket and hurling me through into the next room for me to be out of harm's way. Dammit, Tseng was strong! I landed in a heap on the floor as I heard the door being slammed shut, and the sound as the Don's drunken lackeys hammered to get at us. When I finally managed to get up, Rude was standing against the door, holding it shut against the hoarde of gang members on the other side without even breaking into a sweat. Damn, now I remember why Shinra hired him.

Tseng looked down at me as I staggered to my feet, still trying to get over the goddamn near heart attack that little exhertion had given me. I had a feeling he was about to repremand me again for not being able to control my emotions or some such shit. I guess I just wanted to be left alone, because before I knew it, a mumbled 'sorry' had come out of me and I was staring at his shoes. Fuck it, I hated him for this. If he wasn't going to acknowledge me as a person rather than scum, then the least he could do was just leave me the fuck alone. I hated having him come down so hard on me. In the end I managed to look into his face with a scowl, but then I just blinked in surprise instead of showing him how angry I was. The expression suddenly on Tseng's face was definitely not the one I'd been expecting.

Tseng was smirking at me. Not the usual 'I love to see you squirm' smirk either, it could've been passed off as a smile on Tseng's part, I suppose. I swear my heart fucking stopped for a second. Tseng was smiling at me. Was that the sign I'd been searching for? Maybe he wasn't such a cold bastard after all.

We were in the Don's office, though it was deserted and it wasn't difficult to understand why: there were groans coming from the Don's bedroom at the back, and Tseng seemed to cringe disdainfully at the sound. He held the gun out to me, which I took, but I wasn't sure quite what the fuck he was trying to say. The smirk was still there, and then he pointed towards the Don's bedroom door. I gulped. Holy fuck, was he serious? He couldn't be.

Rude grunted as the strain of holding the door closed began to get to him, and Tseng looked down at me seriously.

"You have three minutes." He said, the look in his eyes was actually reassuring, and then he nodded again at the doorway.

I guess my body went back onto automatic, because despite me really really not wanting to go, I ended up walking towards the door, gun in hand as the moans got louder. If it was up to me, I'd've fucking well ran in the opposite direction, but Tseng wanted me to go, so go I must, just like a good little lapdog was supposed to. 'Deep breaths, Reno, this is just like any other job you've been on' ...except this time the guy was the sadistic, testosterone-led bastard who'd scarred me for life. Somehow that thought gave me the anger I needed to do it. I ripped open the goddamn door and walked in.

The girl he was fucking was the first to see me, walking towards the bed with the gun held out at arm's length. She stopped what she was doing and screamed, struggling from under the fat bastard on top of her and screeching as she ran to hide behind the bed. The Don Turned over with a sigh at being disturbed, expecting it to be one of his men coming in for some reason. When he saw me, pointing a gun at that fat ugly face of his, he screamed like a goddamn girl and tried to hide under the covers. Jesus, what a fucking wimp. But why in the hell was this still so hard for me to stay calm then? My scars were burning. I could remember being held down in the dark and struggling desperately, the feel of the blade ripping open my fucking skin...

"Don Corneo..." I said, and sat down on the edge of the bed, gun resting against his forehead, "not disturbing am I?" Wow, I sounded pretty calm. The Don just stared at me, dumbstruck and scared shitless. The girl behind the bed carried on screeching, but I wasn't going to hurt her. I knew the Honeybee girls well enough to know they didn't come to the Don of their own free will. No, it was the fat bastard sweating nervously in front of me I was interested in.

"How the fuck did you get out?" He eventually whispered, all the colour drained from his face and I let myself smirk. 'That's right you bastard, fucking squirm'. I narrowed my eyes.

"Aw well, you know me Don, always been a stubborn little shit, aint I?" I pulled the gun away and punched him in the face. Damn, now that felt so fucking good! He held his nose and looked at me as I started to grin. Bloodlust is such a beautiful feeling, doncha think?

Oh god, I just prayed that the Don was still scared enough not to notice that my gun hand was fucking shaking. The entire scene seemed to be moving in slow motion. For some reason, I was having trouble pulling the trigger. What the hell? I could kill people who I didn't even know, but give me a chance to kill Don Corneo and... I was fucking hesitating? Geez, was my head fucked or what. I guess even after two and a half years, he still had some kind of a hold over me, I was still goddamn scared of him, even in this situation. Shit. I think he was calming down, and starting to pick up on the fact I was still scared of him. Fuck it, I had to force myself to do this...

Suddenly I heard Rude roar from the other room, obviously he was having trouble holding them back now, and if I didn't hurry this up, Tseng and Rude would be in deep shit. The Don licked his blubbery lips nervously as I stood up and stepped back away from him. Something hit my leg that had been standing by the side of the bed, and I glanced down. Hmm, interesting. The good Don had kept my electro-rod. Suddenly an idea came to me, and I let a wicked smile flitter across my nervous face as I bent down to pick it up.

"I think you'll find this is mine..." Man it felt good to have her back in my hands. I flicked the switch on, and watched the reaction from Don Corneo as I walked back towards him, electro rod pointing at him. He screeched when I hit him over the head with the gun, and ended up sprawled over the bed naked. Urgh fuck... Trust me, I could've lived without seeing that. I cringed for a moment and then leaned over him, pinning his fat little hands above his head. Shit I wanted revenge! I could feel it brewing up inside me as he squirmed pathetically, trying to get away. I lost it for a second and snarled.

"A bitch of a feeling, aint it? Knowing you aint got no place to run, no way to get out." He gulped as he stared up into my eyes fearfully.

"What are you going to do to me Reno?"

I just grinned. I'd been scared of him, but I was way over that now. This fucking prick had overshadowed me since I'd been ten or eleven, picked up from the streets, used as a punchbag by him and the fuckups under him until I was old enough to fight back and hide. This thing needed closure. I was a Turk now, it was time this motherfucker got what he deserved.

"I'm gonna do exactly what you did to me, you whiny little bastard." I growled, and then stuck my electro-rod in his groin.

Trust me, I'm not sadistic...far from it, but I have to admit I enjoyed seeing him squeal as electric shocks ran through his balls. Hey, so it wasn't exactly what he'd done to me, but it would sure as hell leave scars...and if he lived that overactive cock of his would be out of commission for a fucking long time. Now this was revenge! All the weight this bastard had loaded on my shoulders over the years just lifted. I wasn't scared of him anymore, or of anything he'd done to me. When I heard the skin begin to bubble I let go. I wasn't gonna kill the bastard. I wanted him to live, just so that he'd have to live with the scars like I did. He whimpered when I let go and rolled around on the bed, not quite sure what to do with himself. I blinked back the tears of relief I felt brimming in my eyes and let out a sigh as I turned the electro rod off.

"Listen you fat bastard, I never betrayed no one to the Shinra. You fucked me over for no reason. But now I am working for them, you're gonna do what the fuck they tell you, got it?" My voice sounded wildly dangerous, even to me.

Don Corneo half nodded through the pain and howled.

"You'd goddamn better do, or I'll be back, and god help me, I'll fucking finish the job. You know I will. You better kiss Shinra's ass or next time you see me, I'll be feeding you your own dick."

Now that got the message across. Don Corneo's eyes shot open wide and he stared up at me.

"Alright alright! I promise I'll follow Shinra! I'll do what they tell me!"

"Good."

I was having trouble stopping myself from doing anything more to the bastard. I really wanted to kill him now, I was shaking so fucking badly, and no matter how hard I tried to blink away the tears they just kept coming back. The girl in the corner had stopped screaming, and was just looking at what I'd done to the Don in shock. Eventually Tseng's voice woke me up from the daze I was in as he shouted my name, and there was a huge crash that I could only guess was the door Rude was holding splintering. Fuck, I ran out as I let the tears just roll down my face, and Tseng and Rude were both struggling to hold up what was left of the door.

"You've done it?" Tseng shouted at me over the sound of inane babble coming from the collapsing door. He didn't seem to be bothered I had tears.

I nodded, and that's when it finally collapsed.

All three of us ran like fuck, letting the door slip as the hoarde of the Don's lackeys were released behind us. Damn but I was in no condition to be running around like this. All three of us managed to squeeze through the doorway at once, and ended up spontaneously jumping down over the balcony into the lobby. Me and Rude landed fine, but Tseng cried out as he landed, somehow managing to twist his ankle. Shit no. Rude picked him up and we went for the doors. I could hear the bastards behind us catching up now that Rude had to go so slow. They were shouting random insults, mostly using my name, and what they'd do to me when they caught up. Rude managed to break the doors open with his shoulder, still carrying Tseng as he charged at them. They splintered under his weight and we ran straight out, following the sounds towards the centre of Wall Market. Rude knew as well as me that if we got that far, they wouldn't dare start any shit in case Shinra Law got involved. I stared at Tseng mostly when we were running. He seemed okay but he was holding his ankle and he looked in pain. It was true: I was running away from a bunch of drunk, majorly pissed gangsters and the only thing I was worried about was Tseng. What a sucky little asshole I am, huh?

I tried to keep them at bay with my electro-rod as best I could. Some of the stupid bastards walked straight into it not knowing what it was, and I think the sight of their buddies' skin bubbling and burning put the others off coming too close, but really if they'd had the guts to charge me, I would've been screwed. I managed to keep them away from Tseng and Rude as we passed the gym, and as we came closer to the centre of wall market some of them decided it was too risky and fucked off. The others seemed intent on following us though, and by this time I was panting and starting to feel kind of dizzy. The wound in my back was starting to feel screwed up again after all the running around, and I was starting to slow down a hell of a lot. Shit, I had to stay focused. 'Now is not the time to pass out you stupid prick!' I was shouting at myself in my head. There were only a few hundred metres until we were in the main street, and then we'd be in the clear. Holy crap I was so close...but my legs were starting to give way under me, and my eyes were blurring over. I guess the fatigue was finally catching up with me but goddamn! Why couldn't it have waited a few seconds more? I tripped over my own legs with a grunt and just lay there. I couldn't fucking get up. I rolled over and started thrashing out blindly with my electro rod. Shit, just my luck do get screwed over a few seconds before I got to safety. I was expecting to be ripped to shreds or kicked the crap out of any second now. I screwed up my eyes ready for it to start... but... it didn't. Huh? What the hell was going on?

"Get up."

I couldn't quite be sure, but it sounded like Tseng saying that. I moaned and crawled up, incredibly goddamn dizzy and tired. Fuck it, all I wanted to do was crawl up into a ball now and go to sleep, at least thats what my brain was telling me to do, but Tseng knows better than my brain, right?

I struggled up and opened my eyes, to make out that Rude had put Tseng down and they were both standing there next to me. And here's the thing that really fucking puzzled me: Neither Tseng nor Rude had any weapons, yet the pricks that had followed us were stood there, shocked looks on their faces and their hands in the air. What the fuck? My poor tired brain was too screwed to understand this. That is...until i heard the sound of guns being cocked behind us and I turned round to see four of the Shinra Law Enforcement squad backing us up.

"We'll deal with it from here Tseng." One of them said, and through the blur I watched as Tseng limped aside dragging me, dazed, with him.

"What the fuck?" I drawled, confused and tired. Tseng looked at me out of the corner of his eye and smirked.

"Well it looks like Rude's more resourceful than I gave him credit for... don't you think?"

So Rude *had* brought backup...sort of. I closed my eyes and sighed in relief as Rude's little squad rounded the leftover gangsters up. Fucking hell, it was over. We weren't going to die. Well at least, not today. I started to go dizzy again, and ended up clutching onto Tseng's shoulder for support. He tensed up, but then seeing I was hanging onto him for a reason just looked concerned.

"Reno?"

"Aw Jesus... no, no I'm fine." Heh...damn I'm a crap liar. My legs gave way under me again and I collapsed. Tseng helped me back onto my feet and looked me over.

"Stubborn ass." Was all I got before he nodded to Rude and he picked me up. Damn the guy was strong, he probably could've held me up in one hand. I didn't want to be carried around, but I was in no state to argue.

"Lemme down, I'm not a goddamn baby." I drawled, but Tseng just laughed. Now that was a warm laugh, and it made me feel good to hear him laughing like that, when just half an hour ago, we'd been waiting to die.

"Oh shut up and lie there." Well thanks, Tseng. Considerate kinda guy, aincha?

In the end I sort of gave up, and just lie in Rude's arms as Tseng limped along beside us. Sure we got some weird looks from the locals: One tall, mean looking son of a bitch carrying a half dazed Turk while another limped along beside, but after everything me and Tseng had been through over the past 24 hours, do ya think we gave a fuck? We made our way back through Wall Market to where Tseng's car was still parked, which was a fucking miracle in itself, as most cars go missing after a few minutes in this place. Next thing I knew, I was lying down in the back of Tseng's classy '88 model as Rude drove the exhausted me and Tseng back up to the plate, and for once I felt so goddamn relaxed. I'd finally faced up to the bastard who'd scarred me, and finally, I was beginning to understand that Tseng thought of me as more than just a subordinate piece of scum. Obviously I knew there were the other 'troubles' I had still to deal with up on the plate, but just until we got there, I wanted to lay back here and smile, half asleep, in the back of Tseng's car. I was nearly crying through relief and the sudden weight I'd got off my chest, as much like a damn woman I felt because of it . But just... thank god, I was going home... for once, it actually felt good to be heading back to Shinra Tower.

Note: don't worry, this aint the end! There are more chapters to this! I promise ^_~


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Shit.

I slammed my desk drawer shut with an angry sigh and stood up slowly, still getting used to the bandages now wrapped around my stomach by the nurses down in the hospital wing. As soon as we'd got back at Shinra HQ, Rude had carried me up there on the orders of Tseng. I'd told them both I was perfectly capable of walking, but did the miserable bastards listen? Did they fuck. So I was half dazed and in agony, but the least they could've done was leave me a little self-esteem and let me walk back there, instead of being carried in Rude's arms like a fucking baby. Not exactly the way a Turk wants to be seen by other Shinra employees... it tends to lower the respect they have for you when you're carried in rather than using your own goddamn feet.

The nurses had tried to get me to stay there, hooked up to some of that bastard Mako fluid again. Obviously I refused. I told the nurse I was 'goin' dry', seen the confused look on her face, and then discharged myself. I mean there was no fucking way I was gonna spend another night in that place. I know I was wounded and all, but I can be wounded just as easily at home, without the risk of being screwed around with while outta my head on Mako fluid.

I frowned and stared down at the pile of crap I'd just emptied onto my already incredibly messy desk and started to go through it, picking out some of the stuff I thought I might need over the next three weeks of sick leave. Yeah, you heard me right: Heidigger, the normally mean son of a bitch, had actually given me sick leave, on double pay for a 'job well done'. Three weeks of the goddamn thing, right at the moment when I really didn't want it. You see, normally I'd be all too keen to spend three weeks lying in bed, getting paid double by Shinra for doing fuck all, but this time things were different. There was one factor that made sitting in my goddamn squalid little apartment alone for three weeks just... unbearable: Tseng.

What had he done to make me, Reno, the slackest asshole in Shinra Inc not want sick leave? Nothing. That was the whole fucking point: Since we'd come back from sector 6, four hours ago, Tseng had said precisely two words to me. Two goddamn words, and he hadn't even been looking at me when he said them, almost as if I wasn't worthy of his glance.

We'd been sitting in the hospital wing, waiting for the nurses to come back, and the Almighty Stupid One here had actually thought something had changed between me and the Almighty Cold One. So... just to test the water, I'd asked him if he wanted to come out for a drink to celebrate. Heh yeah, like that didn't sound like a chatup line. But you know, he could've just had the decency to lie or something, saying he wasn't free, and I would've got the message. Instead, he came out with two words that were so fucking cold that a pengiun would've frozen to death on them:

"No Reno."

Two. Goddamn. Words.

Two very bitter words as well. Shit, he was blocking me out again, and this time it was more like a warning not to come any closer. It had felt like he'd plunged a hand inside me and ripped my entrails out. To tell the truth, I've never actually felt that crushed in my entire life. On the entire car ride back, I'd been allowing myself to think that maybe what happened in the Don's mansion wasn't just him knowing he was gonna die and looking for one last connection. All the way up here I'd been getting my hopes up that he actually liked me, that he was interested, and then at that moment, those words just shattered everything I'd been hoping for. Hell Reno, who're you kidding? It was just a last fling for him, you were just a piece of ass that was conveniently there. You should've known from the start, Tseng would never normally look twice at scum like you.

I stared up at myself in the mirror opposite the desk. Yet again, I looked like crap but by now I'd got to the point where I'd got used to it. I looked like I'd just been dragged to hell and back, and I had, sort of: At least Don Corneo wasn't a weight on my mind any more, I was at least thankful for that. That bastard had loomed in my mind since I'd left the slums, but not any more. No, all my mind was concerned with now was blocking out how fucking crushed I felt by Tseng. I sighed again. 'That's what you get for hoping Reno, stick to the alcohol to keep you company from now on, its kept you company so far in life.' Yeah, and where has it fucking got me? Sure, I'm outta the slums, but what am I? A Shinra flunkey. A lapdog. A goddamn corperate cock sucker!

It's not very often I get introspective, I'm not normally the thinking kinda guy but right now I felt low. Real low. Fuck, so this must be how women feel the morning after, huh? I guess this was my payback on their behalf. I bet half of them would laugh if they could see me now, staring back at my reflection miserably, shoulders hunched and black bags under my stressed eyes. Bruises from the fight in the Don's mansion just beginning to fade back to pink. I bet even more of them would be laughing if they knew that I'd finally fallen in love...

With somebody that didn't want me.

I turned away from the mirror and looked back down at the crap on my desk, though I wasn't really paying attention to what was there anymore. I was in total 'mope' mode, and I was trying damn hard to block all the stress and strain out. Hell, it wouldn't look good for me to walk out of Shinra Tower in fucking tears or something, would it?

And here's where I made a major mistake: I got so wrapped up in my own sorry ass thoughts, that I didn't even register the sound as my office door was opened... or the sound as someone walked softly up behind me.

The sight of my car keys reminded me of yet another bad turn to the day.

My goddamn car was still down in Sector 6.

Oh well that just took the fucking biscuit, didn't it? Not only would I have to spend three miserable weeks at home alone, but now I was gonna have to goddamn walk home. I wanted to scream, I really did. I wanted to tear this place to pieces. But the fact was I didn't have the strength after all the things that had happened today, so instead I just sighed, leaned on the desk and dropped my head.

"...Shit." I whispered. It was then my visitor decided to make themselves known.

"Heidigger gave you leave, then?" Innocent enough question you'd think, right? Wrong.

I turned around to see who it was, or rather... I tried to turn around, but before I realised what the hell was happening the owner of the voice had their hands on my back, pushing me forwards into the desk, and I didn't even have a chance to see who the hell it was. I cried out in surprise. Shit, what the hell? I didn't know what was happening, but I was ready to take a wild guess and say it was something not good. I grunted and tried to move, but you know, near death experiences tend to take it out of you, and I was majorly slow. I didn't even manage to get a look at who was doing it. I felt numb through excessive tiredness, and it was only after about five seconds of struggling to get away that I actually felt the pain shoot up my arm. Whoever the bastard behind me was, they'd got my arm halfway up my back. I stopped struggling when I realised every time I moved, the pain got harder. Whoever it was was fucking strong as well, and I felt too weak after what had happened earlier to even try to get out of it. Even a Turk can have his bad days, and this was most definitely mine.

I hissed through my teeth at the pressure up my arm as I was pushed harder against the table.

"Who...?"

A half-second later my defunct brain finally connected the voice to its owner and I realised what was happening. I shivered and my face twisted into a look of horror. Oh Jesus, please no... It was happening again, and yet again I couldn't do anything to stop it: That sick fuck of a vice president had returned.

Shots of pain ran up my arm as Rufus laughed darkly behind me, pulling my arm higher up my back just for pain's sake, knowing I couldn't fight back. He'd obviously already heard from his daddy or that son of a bitch Heidigger about what had happened in Sector 6, and knew what a complete wreck I was, so come to get his pound of flesh. I knew he'd get it too. Holy hell, this was the last straw, it felt like my mind was about to snap any damn second, because if you hadn't noticed, I was a physical and emotional fucking wreck at this point and my brain was working more on instinct than what I might tell it to do. 'Please not now' I found myself thinking, as I felt something hard press into my lower back. I shuddered at the memories it brought back and I started to panic. 'Jesus Reno, for fuck's sake do something!' Yeah, like what could I do? Anyway... did it really matter if he screwed me senseless now? Could it make me feel any more like worthless scum than I already did?

"You know..." I heard him growl, tracing a hand slowly down my back now I'd stopped fighting him. Just the sound of his voice made me shudder, as much as I tried to hide it, and obviously my shudder just turned him on more, because I felt him start to tremble. "... I asked you a question. Haven't we learned our lesson about superiority yet?" That's when the bastard clawed across the bandages on my back. FUCK! The pain flashed in front of my eyes in little red dots and I screamed as Rufus pushed me forward onto the desk. What could I do to stop him, with my goddamn arm halfway up my back? My mind began to blank. I think it had had enough of all the shit happening to me, and my emotions just snapped and went off somewhere more comfortable than where I was now. I ended up just laying there the way I had in his office eight days ago, only this time there wasn't any emotion inside me. I wasn't afraid, wasn't anxious, wasn't turned on. He could scrape his fingers down that wound in my back all goddamn day, I couldn't feel. I was suddenly blank. He could fuck me senseless if he wanted, bend me any way he wanted. My brain had just snapped: Don Corneo... Tseng... and now Rufus - my poor little screwed up brain had lost it completely.

I can just remember lying there, silent, blank faced. Shit, I didn't even put up a fight as he reached round and began to unbutton my shirt, his heavy breaths echoing round my emotionless mind. He obviously liked it like this: Me quiet and resigned like a goddamn whore or something while he took his time to do what he wanted. Reno the Turk? No, I was Reno the Bitch, Reno the Whore, Reno the vice-president's fuck toy.

"That's better." He said icily, and I felt as his cold hands ripped open what remained of the buttons on my shirt. Not that it made that much difference: Tseng had ripped most of this shirt earlier today. He trailed his fingers over my chest, but I didn't move, didn't flinch. I wasn't responding to anything anymore. At least, I wasn't until a hand moved up to take out my goggles from my hair.

I don't know what it was about that, maybe it was because my goggles are nearly a permanent feature on me - Fuck it, I sleep in those damn things most nights! - but for whatever reason, as they were pulled out of my hair and over my ponytail it brought me back from wherever the hell it was I'd been when he'd been undoing my shirt. I found myself starting to struggle again as he put them down on the desk beside me. Then my stupid mouth came out with something i said out of instinct. Not a plea, not even goddamn reasoning. Of all the things that could've come outta my mouth in this situation, Reno the fat mouthed prick came out with an insult.

"Fucked up son of a bitch." I grunted as Rufus pulled my arm further up my back to stop me struggling, and realised what I'd just done about a second later. Oh. my. god. He halted, as though he'd expected his fuck toy not to answer back. I can only guess he'd never been answered back to, because he flipped. That psychosis that hid behind those damn cold blue eyes of his came forward for a second, and he flipped me over to face him with a strength that could've got him into SOLDIER if he weren't already a rich little prick, and he grabbed me around the throat. Damn, for once I could see him since this had started, and he looked completely psychotic. Those eyes of his burned into me with disgust, and some perverted enjoyment as well. How I hated him. The evil malicious little fuck. Whoever it was that said money can't buy you happiness was damn wrong. Rufus was sure as hell enjoying himself, and why? Because his daddy had money, whereas I was the bastard son of god knows what from the slums. That was the only reason he could do this to me and get away with it: money, power.

Fucking bastard.

I struggled. Now my arms were free, I was trying my damndest to pull his hand away from squeezing my throat. My brow knotted and I gritted my teeth in the strain. Like I've said before, I'm not that strong even on best form, and Rufus would've been difficult for me to fight off even when I wasn't a physical wreck. He glared at me, then leaned forwards and hissed at me, that utter damn psychosis still in his face.

"Listen you slum rat, don't pretend this isn't what you want. When you were in my office, you begged, pleaded with me to fuck you. You know what that makes you?"

You see, I would've answered that if my voicebox wasn't being crushed in between his fingers at the time.

"...That makes you a slut. And you'll be treated like a slut. I know that's what you want."

Holy crap, I'd heard enough. I was in major panic and my brain completely flipped. I grunted and ripped his hand away with a strength that I didn't think I'd had left in me. He apparently didn't expect it either, as the look on his face turned from psychopathic pleasure to complete and utter shock. My brain was dangerously close to snapping beyond the point of no return and I swear I nearly went mad in that split second I ripped his hand away. My hands just flailed at him uncontrollably. I didn't want him anywhere near me, I didn't want to see the sick fuck. I can't remember much: my brain was too wrapped up in getting him off me to bother commiting what happened to memory, but I do remember: when he recovered from the shock, and tried to grab my arms and restrain me, I did something I immediately regretted.

I punched the son of a bitch in the face.

Oh crap. I just punched Shinra's son, the vice president, my boss... in the face.

He staggered backwards for a second, his hands over his nose and his eyes closed in the pain. Me? I just sat there on the edge of the desk, arm still raised from the punch like a dick, frozen in utter horror of what I'd just done. My heart froze. Well, that was my life just gone out the window then. What the hell would Rufus do to me for that? He could do anything: he had the entire of Shinra Inc at his beck and call. One word to the SOLDIERs, and I could end up swimming in the sewers with concrete slippers. I gulped silently, lowering my arm when he opened his eyes and glared at me, pulling a hand away from his face to look down at it briefly. Shit, his nose was bleeding. I couldn't move. I was stuck where I was, even as Rufus walked back towards me. He must've seen the fear in my eyes again, because even with a probable broken nose he just smirked at me.

"Nice try Reno. You're not as much of a wuss as I had you down as." He let that linger in the air, before he licked his lips and stared at me. Despite not getting his own way, I could still see the bulge in his pants where his cock was. Damn, he wasn't finished with me yet, and I had a sneaking suspicion in the bottom of my stomach that he was about to play it dirty. And I wasn't wrong:

"But do you really want me to send you back to the slums? I'd love to see what your old gang would make of you if I sent you back, after everything you've been doing down there today."

...and the bastard had got me. He knew damn well they'd kill me if I was sent back down there now. In fact, they'd probably rip me to fucking shreds. Now that really was a dirty thing to say, but hey he was vice president: he could do what the hell he wanted, as long as it didn't effect business, and the dismissal of one Turk wouldn't be missed. I blinked as I realised the choice he'd given me, looking at those fucking cold blue eyes that now seemed to be laughing at me. I re-worded the sentence in my mind:

'let me fuck you, or you die.'

Crap, I wish I was brave, or just had some kind of sense of conviction of my own instead of taking orders from the Shinra all day. If I had even one of those things, I probably would've been able to take the second choice without much problem. But hey, I'm Reno: I drink, I gamble, I kill for money, I hide my conscience. People like me aren't built to take the noble way out. I wanted to live too damn much to say no to him. I was too self-obsessed to let myself go down there and die. I chose the first, even though my mind just wanted to be left alone. So much shit had happened to me today, and it wasn't over yet. My brain really wasn't gripping to reality very well. I sighed and stood up, not able to look him in the eye anymore. This was all so screwed up.

"... Just get it over with."

I felt physically sick as those disgusting words came out of my mouth. It felt like somebody had just stuck a knife in my gut. Damn it, what choice did I have? There was no choice, except for 'be fucked or be dead' and believe it or not, I didn't like the idea of the second one. Even though his gaze and his touch made me shudder, made me feel sick, Rufus knew there was nothing else I could do.

My god, how I hated this.

I couldn't look at him. Fuck it, could you? I knew what was coming and I knew damn well I couldn't do a single thing to stop him. How much lower could I get? Turned away by Tseng, and now used by Rufus... I closed my eyes as I felt his hands on me again, pulling what was left of my shirt off my shoulders with a cold laugh, before leaning in towards me, sinking his teeth into my shoulder as he slipped his hands down and began to unbutton my pants. I just stood there. What the hell was with the biting? Did he think it would turn me on? Well it wasn't. The last two times he'd done this to me, my cock had betrayed me, but right now there was nothing. I wasn't even slightly aroused, just ashamed, embarrased that this sick little bastard could do this to me and get away with it. I think he was a little disappointed that I wasn't hard, but it didn't stop him from unbuttoning my pants, still sinking his teeth into my shoulder and flicking his tongue out, probably expecting to get a reaction, but I was gone again... somewhere far far away from this situation, on my own little cloud somewhere, where this was no way happening.

He'd just finished unbuttoning my pants and was starting to undo his own when my eyes shot open at a sound from across the room. Rufus stopped what he was doing too as the door swung open... and the person who walked through it made my stomach feel like it would cave in on itself. Oh crap, could this situation get any worse?

Tseng.

"Reno -" he said, pinching the bridge of his nose as he opened the door. It took him a few seconds before he realised what was happening here and his face suddenly hardened. He stared at Rufus, who had turned around to see who it was, that fucking psychotic look still on his face. I looked as Tseng's eyes flickered across at me, and then I just had to shut them again from the complete and utter shame. I mean, fuck I know I'd told him, but that was different. He was my boss still, and I just felt like I'd let the guy down: Tseng tells me and Rude to be tough, to not let anything get to us, and yet here I was, letting myself be fucked by this little bastard. 'Oh jesus Tseng, just get the hell out.' was what I was thinking. I didn't want him to see any more of this. I felt like such a whiny little bitch.

The silence hanging in the air was so thick, and it seemed to go on forever. God but why the hell was Tseng still here? Didn't he know there was nothing he could do?

"Tseng?" Rufus growled. I didn't dare open my eyes, but I could hear how dangerously annoyed he was. I didn't hear Tseng move though. I heard him sigh forcefully, but from the lack of movement I was pretty sure he was going to say something.

"Not disturbing am I?" There was irony or disgust in that voice, and just the sound of his voice made me feel dirty. I could only imagine how the scene looked to Tseng: Rufus leaning over me, his bite marks on my shoulder, my pants undone. I wanted him to leave. It's not like he could stop Rufus, is it? Even though Tseng was still in here I could hear as the fucked up asshole in front of me undid his pants.

"Tseng... get out. Can't you see that I and Reno are in the middle of a very important meeting?" Then he rubbed a hand down my chest suggestively. If he was trying to embarass Tseng, then he would have to do a hell of a lot better than that. It takes a lot to embarass a Turk, especially one as cold as him. And yet... what Tseng's reaction actually was nearly made my jaw drop in shock.

And it hurt.

"Of course Rufus." He said, in a goddamn voice that was so sweet and apologetic it was unbelievable. "Sorry to have disturbed you."

"Hmmph." was the answer Rufus gave, and then he turned back his attention to me, turning his back on Tseng. I was in shock. I couldn't believe how quickly Tseng had just rolled over like a dog and let Rufus carry on. He knew what Rufus was doing, he knew I had never wanted it so then...why? Maybe he really was a cold business obsessed bastard after all. I know he couldn't have done anything to help me but, god, I guess I'd just been expecting him to at least try. Guess he really didn't care what the fuck happened to me then.

It hurt. It Really. Fucking. Hurt.

"Stupid son of a whore." I heard Rufus whisper to himself distastefully as he pushed me back onto the desk. I still had my eyes closed. I don't think I could've opened them if I'd tried. I felt as he slowly trailed his fingers down my chest, down my abdomen, heading down to my cock...

Except, that his hand never reached that far. I waited for a second, thinking he was doing what he liked to do, trying to make me wait, then I realised he wasn't leaning over me anymore, as I heard something crash into the filing cabinet on the other side of my office. Holy crap! What the hell...?

My eyes flicked back open and I sat up to see Rufus, cradling his head from where it had hit the filing cabinet, as could be witnessed by the huge great dent in the door. My eyes just shot wide. What the fuck just happened? It was then I saw Tseng... standing beside the desk, clapping away the imaginary dirt from his hands.

I swear, right now? I was worryingly close to a heart attack.

"What was it you said about my mother?" Rufus glared up at him from across the room as he regained his composure. Stupid asshole sitting on the desk here couldn't even speak. I just couldn't believe what was happening right now...

"What in hell do you think you're doing?"

Tseng just blinked.

"I would've thought that was obvious. I'm teaching you a lesson."

The psychosis in Rufus' face fired up again and he charged at Tseng, who just smoothly sidestepped it. My god I couldn't believe it. What the fuck was Tseng thinking? Had he flipped? Didn't he realise what Rufus could do to him? I just stared up at him patheticly, trying to guess what the fuck he was playing at, but all I saw in his eyes was a sort of cold anger as he walked after Rufus as he turned around and punched him in the gut forcefully. Rufus grunted and was about to strike back when Tseng just grabbed him by the arm and slung him against the wall with a thud. Damn how strong must Tseng be? I'd never actually seen him fight properly up until this point, and goddamn it, could he fight well! I was sitting there open mouthed when Tseng pushed Rufus up againt the wall, pushing his face up against it as Rufus yelled for Tseng to let him go.

"Now mark what I'm going to say, and mark it well..." I'd never heard Tseng speak so harshly. Normally he used indifference to intimidate people, but now? That was pure anger. He squashed Rufus' face against the wall harder as Rufus yelled again. Not that Tseng appeared to be listening to what he said. "...If you ever lay a hand on one of my men again, you'll be having meals through a straw for the rest of your life."

He looked disgusted with him as he let go of his head and stepped back slowly. Rufus brought a hand up to his reddened face and glared at Tseng again hatefully.

"You stupid bastard." He snarled, but Tseng looked unmoved. "Do you have any idea what you've just done? I'll send you *and* that stupid fuck back to the slums. You'll both be lying in a pool of your own blood by the end of the week."

"Hmm." Jesus! Tseng was smirking. What the hell did he have to smirk about? Had he just fucking cracked or what? "I don't think you'd want to do that."

"And why not?"

Tseng's eyes flashed with some kind of amusement, and the smirk spread across his face scarliy quickly.

"Because if you do... I'll have to tell your father just what your out of hours 'hobbies' are... and show him the photographs."

Photographs?

I looked at Rufus. The change in mood must've happened in a spit second, and all the colour drained from his sick little face. His mouth, which had been curled up into a snarl, just dropped. He suddenly looked frightened. Holy crap, did he look scared. It would've been comical if I hadn't been struggling to stop myself having a heart attack.

"What photographs?"

Tseng laughed quietly to himself.

"The ones which I managed to get hold of, in preparation for just such a situation. Come on now Rufus, you know the ones? I'm sure your father would be all too interested to know his son spends his spare time dressing up in women's clothing."

What the hell? Rufus' jaw dropped. He looked so different. I'd never seen him look so goddamn shocked, and I was pretty shocked myself. Rufus Shinra was a crossdresser? Jesus. I knew he was a twisted fuck, but I never thought...

Tseng stepped aside to allow Rufus a pathway to the door.

"Now get out, you sick little brat."

As for me, this was all going way over my head now. I just sat there, dumbstruck as Rufus clamped his jaw, glancing at me for a second icily before regaining his composure and hesitantly stepping forwards. He walked past Tseng like a kicked dog. I didn't know what the fuck had just happened, but I knew that Tseng had won. Rufus stared cruelly at me as he walked past the desk towards my door, Tseng walking up behind him to make sure he left.

"If I find out you've layed another finger on one of my Turks you'll be sorry you were ever born." Tseng reminded him as he reached the door.

"You'll regret this Tseng."

Tseng grunted and kicked him in the back, so that the evil little fuck went flying into the corridoor outside my office.

"I very much doubt it." He sneered afterwards, and closed the door on Rufus as he looked back at me. The last thing I heard of Rufus that night was a yelp as he hit the wall opposite my office. He probably had one hell of a headache the next morning.

Up 'til now, I'd been staring at what happened open mouthed, not quite sure if my brain had just gone completely off the rails and I was hallucinating it all. But now Tseng was looking at me, I snapped out of it, and I remembered him walking in on what happened. I couldn't look at him, so I pretended there was something really interesting about the view of Midgar from my office window as I stood up and buttoned my pants back up. I was damn ashamed of it all, even though Tseng had just saved me I couldn't bring myself to speak, even to say 'thank you'...and I really wanted to. I knew Tseng had just put himself in danger to help me, and for the first time in my entire life I was desperate to say thank you to someone, but my vocal chords weren't responding so I just couldn't. It was silent for a minute. I don't know wether Tseng was expecting me to say something or what, but I just couldn't speak. Sorry Tseng, but don't you already know just how fucking grateful I am to you for what you did?

"He won't be back."

"No." I sighed and went instinctively for a cigarette, walking round to get them out of my drawer as Tseng came across and sat on the edge of my desk. He picked up my goggles from where Rufus had put them and held them out.

"Reno?"

"Boss?" Shit, even when I took the goggles off him, I still couldn't look him in the eye. I wanted to. I really wanted to, because there seemed to actually be some kind of goddamn emotion in his voice when he spoke, but I still felt so scum-like. Rufus' bite marks were still in my shoulder, the buttons on my shirt were ripped and my arm and back hurt like fuck from Rufus' little game of 'hurt the Reno'. I put the goggles in my pocket and lit up the cigarette already in my mouth. I felt as the nicotine rush hit me and I actually started to relax at long last. I mean I'd been without nicotene for a fucking week. Maybe it was just relief, but I swear that was the best goddamn cigarette I've ever had in my entire life.

"You don't have a car now, do you?"

"No boss."

A pause. It seemed as though he was thinking, while I just stood there and concentrated on getting as much nicotine into my lungs as damn possible. If there's a world record on how fast somebody can smoke a cigarette, I think I just broke it. Eventually Tseng sighed and stood up, still as calm and collected as ever, as though he hadn't just kicked the crap out of the vice president, or as though he hadn't just seen Rufus nearly get his way with me. I tried to look up at his face as he turned back towards me, but the highest I managed was his torso, so I just stared at that instead. Not that it was all that bad a view, but still... At least what he said next seemed to have a little sympathy, and his voice was kind of reassuring, unlike the way he'd spoken to me earlier in the hospital wing. It somehow calmed me down. Tseng's voice was just as relieving as the nicotine that was slowly working its way through my body.

"Come on then. I'll drive you home."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

You know, I dont think a car ride has ever lasted so long for me as it did this time. Seriously. Even rides in the back of Shinra Law vans when I was in my teens weren't as goddamn tense and painful as this. I still couldn't look Tseng in the eye, so I kept looking out at the streets as they passed, trying to pretend this goddamn silence didn't bother me. But then, I didn't want to talk either. I still felt pretty damn ashamed about what had happened and I was trying to ignore the fact that Tseng had now seen what had been happening with his own eyes. Fuck, somehow that made it so much worse. Sure, I guessed Rufus' sick little game was over, but when my leave was over, would I ever be able to look Tseng in the eye again?

At least I wasn't a complete nervous wreck anymore. I mean, I was edgy due to the fact that the guy who had actually saved me from being screwed - and earlier, whose clothes I'd been tearing off in complete and utter lust - was actually driving me home, but I had my nicotine, and that was enough to make me calm down... sort of. If there's one thing I know about my life, its that cigarettes will always be my best friend.

Tseng was... disgustingly quiet. He'd given me a lift home a few times before, when my crappy old car had acted up, and every time he'd made sure that since I couldn't get away, fall asleep, or ignore him, he'd lecture me on something - normally my uniform or tardiness or other stupid corperate crap. But this time... he was completely silent. Eyes fixed on the road, that damn cruel mouth of his flat and expressionless again. You know, I sometimes think that there's really two people inside of Tseng: There's the cold mean bastard that he is most of the time, and then there's this other guy somewhere behind all the ice that I get glimpses of just every now and then. A nice guy, if you can even call a corperate assassin a 'nice guy'. You know what the annoying thing is? The most annoying thing is that he switches between them so fast that you can't keep up with which one it is you're talking to. I mean, earlier today, the guy was happily undoing my pants, or kicking the crap out of our boss to help me, but now? He'd just snapped back into business mode again. Oh god, I'd've given my right arm just to know what he was thinking in that silence. I'd've unzipped my damn flies and crawled across hot coals if I thought it'd make the bastard speak to me. I thought he wasn't talking because he felt let down by me, letting myself be pushed around by our sick fuck of a boss. If it'd been anyone but Tseng, I wouldn't have given a rat's ass about their opinions of me. But this *was* Tseng, and even though he'd blocked me out and warned me off, I still - Jesus! - I still wanted him to understand me.

Well... that's definitely a fucking new one. Fuck, I never need people to understand me. Normally I figure they either like me or they dont, and if they don't, it's their own damn loss. Turks aren't bred to need understanding: all we need are orders, weapons, and a conscience that doesn't complain too much. So... why the hell should I give a fuck what anyone - especially my boss, the hard bastard - thought of me?

"Jesus Reno, you're turning into a damn woman!" I whispered silently to myself and scrabbled for the cigarettes in my pocket again as I finished one and flicked it out the window. God, but from the tension I felt sitting here now, I was going through cigarettes faster than a hyperactive Chocobo does greens. If it carried on like this, I'd run out of cigarettes in about 5 minutes.

... More silence...

...Jesus, I felt like I should be apologising, even if it was just to break the silence.

Yeah, In case you haven't noticed yet? I'm not exactly the silent type.

I sat back again and tried my hardest to relax as the polluted streets of Midgar fled past the window. Man, this silence was the worst. To tell the truth I wasn't even vaguely relaxed: my goddamn fingers were stretching Tseng's leather upholstry through me gripping it too tight, and I had a cigarette permanently attatched to my mouth. That's another weird thing: normally Tseng would completely and utterly forbid me from smoking in his car, glaring me down with that 'You even so much as touch those cigarettes in here Reno, I'll shove them up your ass' look. Tseng loves his car. He's a total nut when it comes to keeping it clean and spotless. Hell, I'd eat my own suit if you could find a single speck of mud on this car. Yet he was letting me smoke in it. Maybe he knew I needed the nicotene... or maybe he was so goddamn disgusted with me that he wasn't even prepared to repremand me.

About a minute later I managed to convince myself to actually look at Tseng. It was a good 10 minute drive to my place, and this silence was just driving me fucking insane. I mean, I'd had enough silence when we were in the goddamn Don's mansion. I decided somehow that I was gonna talk to him. About what? I didn't have a damn clue yet. The plan was to open my mouth, see what came out first and just fucking pray that what came out would actually make sense... Okay I'll admit I'm an asshole when it comes to planning shit, but it was the only thing I could think to do at the time, and that was good enough for me.

Tseng coughed quietly as he realised I was looking at him and shifted, but those damn cold eyes didn't even acknowledge I was there. I noticed his left hand was holding the steering wheel kind of oddly, so I nodded at that. It was the arm Max had smashed with a crowbar last week.

"That gonna heal properly?"

Tseng sortve blinked. What? He thought I was going to sit there like a goddamn dummy all the way home? He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye for a second before looking back at the road with a sigh as we turned a corner. Fuck. For a second I honestly thought he wouldn't answer, and I realised I was actually holding my damn breath as I waited. By now I'd accepted that Tseng obviously didn't want anything to do with me as anything except a subordinate piece of scum, but I at least wanted him to still speak to me without flinching. I mean, holy fuck I was in love with the miserable asshole. It's one thing to accept someone doesn't want you, but for them to go from speaking terms to fucking disgust in a few days is a whole other ball game.

"...It'll be fine."

Heh... nice clean-cut answer there Tseng, if I didn't know better I'd say you were trying to avoid a conversation right about now. I flicked another cigarette end out the window, but kept my eyes on the distant-looking guy in the driving seat. It wasn't so much he looked like he hated me right now, in fact his lips were turned into what could've been a tight smile. He just looked... sort of unsure? Well at least he hadn't told me to shut the hell up. That was a good thing... right? The fact that he didn't look so damn cold made me hope I could get him to talk again. I mean, come on, I've got the biggest damn mouth in Shinra Inc. I can get anybody to talk. Tseng however... damn he's too smart for me: as soon as I went to open my mouth, he leaned across and turned the radio on.

I guess I could've talked over it, but it was kind of obvious that the radio had been turned on to shut me up, and I guessed if Tseng didn't want to talk to me, then he wouldn't even if I tried. Ok, normally its not my way to let other people get one over on me, but Tseng seems to be the damn exception to every rule I've got. You want to know the truth why I didn't try? The truth is... I was scared.

Jesus, you have no idea how hard it was for me to admit that to myself. To admit that Reno of the Turks was scared.

The basic fact is that I smile, I flirt, I'm vain, I womanise and I get my own way all the damn time, but I guess I'm so used to getting my own way that when I don't it dents my pride more than it should... and my pride is the only thing that keeps me afloat in this shitheap of a city. Tseng had dented it pretty fucking badly today already, and another blow like that and I swear the goddamn thing would just shatter. I was scared of losing my pride because of him, which is why I just sat there for the rest of the drive back, cigarette in mouth, silent like a complete and utter asshole as I went back to watching the streets roll by, Tseng ignoring me as he drove me back to my empty apartment.

Three words:

My. Life. Sucks.

Tseng's car pulled up on the kerb outside my rundown little apartment building, (up a dark stinking alley on the wrong side of Midgar) ten or so minutes later, with a still very nervous me gripping frantically to the seat covers because I'd smoked my last cigarette about 5 minutes ago, and lost that goddamn lifesaving, brain-numbing nicotine rush. The noise of Tseng's radio filled the car with some annoying piece of classical music as he stopped the car for me to get out. Still not bothering to look at me, but instead pretending it was so much more important to be looking out at the alleyway in front of the car than anywhere else. His hands were clamped tightly to the steering wheel and he just sat there, stiff-backed in such a goddamn pose that it looked like he had a broom handle up his ass. I'm guessing that was Tseng's way of telling me to get out, and after a second of trying to pull my heart back up to where it should be instead of down in my shoe, I took the hint and opened the door. With one foot out on the ground and one still inside the car, I realised I still had something left to say, even though for some reason it was suddenly damn hard for me to say it.

"...Thanks."

What the hell was I saying thank you for? For giving me a ride home, or for saving me from Rufus, or for something else completely? I dont know, maybe all three. My head was swimming, and I just wanted to climb inside a good honest bottle of scotch for the night. At least alcohol didn't confuse the fuck outta me the way Tseng did. I knew exactly what alcohol did and why, and another good point was that alcohol didn't make me feel fucking ashamed of myself by not speaking to me.

There was a movement behind me that sounded like Tseng moving in his seat. I froze for a second, expecting him to say something but when he didn't I made to get out of the car. Well gee Tseng, thanks for even caring enough to reply. I tell you, there are a few decent men and chicks in Midgar who I could've fallen in love with, but no, my fucked up mind had to go and screw me over by making me care about the most screwed up, confusing, coldest son of a bitch ever to have graced the Midgar Plate...

You ever get the feeling your brain really doesn't like you very much?

Suddenly I was pulled out of that thought as I felt Tseng's hand touch my elbow.

Huh? I stopped again as I heard him clear his throat and draw his hand away. I didn't want to turn back in case I saw something in his face I didn't like. Damn, I'm such a wuss when it comes to Tseng. Point a gun at me, I can cope, but make me look at Tseng, an expression of disgust on that damn gorgeous face and I'll cringe, whine and roll over like a goddamn dog. Jesus, What a sucker I am.

"You did well today."

He said awkwardly, almost as if he was forcing himself to speak, but still... just the sound of his voice made me feel better. Like I've said, Tseng has the most insanely soothing voice when he uses it in the right way. The right way being: anything except from shouting. Plus this at least meant he was talking to me, that he wanted to talk to me. That meant he wasn't disgusted with me, and I couldn't help but let myself sigh, just through relief.

"I did?"

I felt Tseng smirking behind me. Then the radio faded out. Tseng had finally turned that goddamn thing off.

"If you didn't then why would Heidigger have given you leave?"

I managed to look at him this time, and sure enough, Tseng was sitting there with a tiny smirk on his face. The best answer I could come up with was a shrug. I sure didn't feel like I'd done anything special...

"Tseng, I didn't even kill Don Corneo." He shook his head and looked back at the road.

"You've been a Turk for two years now, and you still have no idea what the job is about, do you? You have to learn that it's not always the best thing to kill a target. Sometimes it's better to just put the fear of the Gods into them." His eyes narrowed as the Sunlight glared into his face as it set over Midgar. "You and Rude are far too trigger happy."

Yeah, well maybe I am, I can't help it if I'm a bloodthirsty little asshole, can I? But I wasn't thinking about that right now. What I was thinking about was the fact that Tseng, after ten minutes of totally ignoring me and making me feel like scum, was actually speaking to me, more than that he was giving me a pat on the back. Even on good days, he never does that. Hell, can you say 'personality disorder'?

"But he'll just do it again."

"Au contraire."

There was a pause. What? Did Tseng know something that I didn't? Well, actually, there were a lot of things Tseng knew that I didn't because I'm stupid, but... did he know something about the Don? I knew he'd been in a meeting with Shinra and Heidigger since we came back, so maybe he'd heard something in that meeting. I stared at him, waiting for him to say something else as I watched an amused smirk spread right across his face. Yup, he knew something alright, and he was dragging it out for his own amusement. C'mon Tseng what am I? A goddamn dog here for you to play around with? Tell me...

"This afternoon, Shinra recieved a very generous donation of firearms and rare summon materia. They were made by an anonymous benefactor from somewhere in the slums, along with a letter of apology for any inconvenience caused." Tseng looked at me with an eyebrow raised. Me? It took a while for it to sink in what he'd just said, and when it did I came out with the most intellectual response. Ever.

"Oh."

"I don't know what you did, but whatever it was you did it well. You conducted yourself like a Turk is meant to: you put your emotions to the back of your mind and concentrated on the task in hand. You did well, Reno."

Had this been a normal day, I would've been grinning right now like a cat with the cream, and my ego would've been too damn big to fit out of the car door. But right now the best I could manage was a lopsided smile at Tseng's praise.

Well, at least that was one less thing on my mind for the next three weeks. Don Corneo had actually bought into my crap. Guess I did something right for once.

I suppose I can't make a fuck up of everything I do, huh?

I ran a hand through my hair, still with one foot outside the car and one inside. I knew that despite the fact he was talking to me, he was ignoring totally two real important things that had happened today. I didn't so much mind the fact that he was ignoring the Rufus crap, because actually I just wanted to forget about it too, but the other thing... the fact that this morning he'd been kissing me, undoing my pants... holy crap, even brushing his hand over my cock. I knew there was absolutely no chance he'd want to do that again, but yet my brain was trying to convince me that there was a tiny hope he still might. Tseng just sat there, watching me as my lips parted on their own. I was trying to ask him something, that damn question that I'd never had any trouble asking anyone until now. My vocal chords froze up, my mouth went dry. I just couldn't do it. Shit Reno, it's just 5 simple words, is it that fucking hard? 'Do... you... wanna... come... in' SAY THE GODDAMN WORDS!

It must've only been 20 seconds I was sitting there, silently screaming those dreaded words at him, but it felt like forever. I couldn't bring myself to do it, so eventually I just gave in, sighed and grabbed my jacket from where I'd hung it on the back of the passenger seat.

"Thanks Tseng."

Tseng this time 'hmm'-ed an acknowledgement at me and sighed to himself as I climbed reluctantly out of the car. What was the point in it anyway? He made it fucking well clear that he didn't want you earlier today Reno, take the hint. Give it up.

"Reno?"

"Yeah?" Oh Jesus, now what? I didn't want to hang around out here all night. There was a nice comfy bottle of scotch somewhere inside with my name on it, and I wanted to climb on the sofa with it, get plastered, and mope like a little girl. Yup, seemed like a good enough plan for the night...

"Your back's bleeding."

I stood up out of Tseng's car and pulled what was left of my shirt round. Sure enough there was a wet blood patch right there, courtesy of that damn wound in my back. It was obviously Rufus clawing his fingers down my bandages that had opened the damn thing up again. But hey, it would heal up again, right? Just need a little anaesthetic in the form of some scotch and I'll be fine.

"Oh... hey, it doesn't matter." I looked back at Tseng and shrugged it off.

"Oh no, I think you'll find it does."

"No boss look, I'll fix it. I'm... fine." Tseng glared up at me, suddenly with that old jelly-turning strictness in his eyes.

"Reno, are you a doctor?" Okay, when Tseng starts using sarcasm, you gotta be worried. I squirmed a little, knowing where this was going.

"Nnnnnno."

"Do you have a PHD?"

"Nope." Tseng paused for a second, then something in his eyes faltered and he got out of the car, shutting the door after him as he came round the bonnet towards me.

"Do you want to bleed to death?"

"Uhhh..." Had to think about that one. "No."

He sighed and stared me down with those hard eyes. So close I could feel his breath on my face. Hell...

"Then stop acting like you know what the hell you're doing." He growled quietly, and then turned me round and lifted my shirt up to get to the bandages. Did I protest? Did I fuck. And was it because I knew he was trying to help me? Was it fuck. The reason why I didn't protest was because just the feel of the cold asshole's skin on mine made my brain lose any sense of reason. The guy just turned me into a vegetable. It's amazing how a guy who came across as so cold could have the warmest, most brain-cell-killingly soft hands I'd ever felt. He pushed the bandages away from my skin while I just stood there biting my top lip and rolling my eyes in an attempt to stay calm. Sometimes my testosterone runs away with me, you know? Actually, forget 'sometimes', its more like 'all of the time', and since my sex drive's so used to having its own way, it's sometimes difficult to convince it when and when not to start. Now I was having a mighty tough time convincing it to stay calm. Thankfully it kinda passed when Tseng idly prodded at my wound.

"JESUS! Tseng!" A couple of guys walking through the alleyway looked over when I shouted, but when they saw Tseng in his blue suit, they sort've walked back the other way. Probably guessed Tseng, being a Turk, was kicking the crap out of someone for Shinra. If I'd been them, I'd've probably done the exact same thing.

"Shut up Reno." He mocked as he replaced the bandages and stepped away. "I'm sure you don't have any idea how bad that wound is?"

"Not really..."

"Well you should do. Did you learn nothing about wounds in training?."

"Uh.." And the answer to that would be 'yes', but I just shrugged as per usual. Hey, it always seems to work: just a shrug and normally Tseng will just carry on, because he loves to lecture me. Besides, just gimme a break here. If you'd just had the worst damn week of your life, you wouldn't exactly be in the most studious of moods, would you? Tseng didn't fall for it this time, he just glared at me as I turned back round, arms one over the other in that pose that only Tseng can make polite and threatening at the same time.

"Well?"

"Sure I did." ...Oh, and that didn't sound laboured. C'mon Reno, even fucked up and tired you can do better than that. "If I didn't I wouldn't be here."

"Well you may be here now, but leave that wound like that and you wont be in the morning." He said sternly. For a second he looked as though he was thinking of saying something, but then he just built that ice block up around himself again and then nodded precisely. "Either sort it out yourself, or get yourself back to the infirmary. Now." He commanded, and then after another meaningful stare went back around the bonnet towards the driver's seat. "See you in three weeks."

At this point, it wasn't so much the fact that Tseng had shown some concern for me, nor was it the fact that he'd just told me I could die that was really bothering me. It was those words: three weeks.

21 days, over 400, 000 minutes. Three entire goddamn weeks alone in an apartment I hate with a fiery passion. Unable to get outta the house because of the horrendous goddamn wound in my back, unwilling to do it anyway because of the hundreds of thousands of thoughts that'd be going through my mind all day, all fucking night. Christ, I'd just had the worst eight days in my entire life. Even when my scars had been made, that had been over quick. Painful, scarring, yeah, but nowhere near as long as the torture I'd been through this week. And now? What the hell was I supposed to do with myself for three entire weeks? What I was supposed to do was recouperate, gain my strength, heal etc. What I'd most likely do would be get into a complete state of drunkeness, lie there with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a cigarette in the other and drink and smoke my way into oblivion. That's why... I... didn't want to be alone, as pathetic as that sounds. Jesus, does it sound pathetic! There just comes a time when alcohol aint enough of a comfort. I stood there for a second as Tseng went to open his door without a second glance at me. Then I did something that, looking back, was probably the most stupid piece of shit I ever did, and believe me, I've done a lot of stupid shit in my time.

I walked after him and shut the door again before he could get in, slamming a hand either side of him so that effectively, he was trapped. Yeah, it was a stupid thing to do to Tseng, I mean, he could've pounded my skinny ass into the ground, judging from how he'd kicked the crap outta Rufus just an hour ago. But the thing is I think I was half insane anyway, what with stress and fatigue. I couldn't stand it anymore. Did he damn well like me, or did he hate me? Had this morning actually just been him acting on instinct before he died, or was there something more to it? Because If it was, why had he smiled at me in Don Corneo's office? Why in God's name had he stuck his neck out to stop Rufus? If I was gonna spend three weeks alone, I was pretty sure that would be the question that'd haunt me more than anything. I didn't want that in my brain all the time. I was shaking. I needed an answer. I mean, anything Tseng could do to me when I got back would be infinitely better than three weeks of wondering, right? Only one way to find out, I guess...

Tseng turned round to repremand me, but the words never got out of his mouth. It was my turn to shut him up... I tried to put the consequences to the back of my head, and the next thing I knew, one of my hands was on his chest, pushing him up against his car as I leaned in and kissed him. A fraction of a second later, I realised what I'd just done.

Shit! What the hell was I doing? Guess it was too late to back off now...

He just stood there, frozen, probably horrified by the fact that someone like me would dare to do something like this. My god, he wasn't responding. At all. I was fucking horrified. So you think you know what tense means? Heh... you dont even know the meaning of the word. You look it up in a dictionary, it'll say 'kissing Tseng and praying to god he responds to it.' Yup, that was what tense is, and thats exactly how I felt. My heart was thumping so fast, I swear Tseng must've heard it, and my head felt about ready to explode. I was completely horrified he wasn't responding. He was cold and all his muscles were stiff. I was about to pull away, mumble an apology and walk away, when...

Tseng actually started to lean in to me.

It was barely noticable at first, a sigh, a movement of his lips, a relaxation of his muscles just enough for me to realise he wasn't going to push me away. To say I was relieved is way way way too much of an understatement. To say I nearly keeled over and died right then and there through relief, would be better. To say my entire damn world exploded in a blaze of complete and utter fucking lust-filled relief, would be almost enough to show what I felt as I realised what was happening. I realised I'd just gotten the answer I was waiting for. After a few seconds, Tseng started to get less and less tense, until he was fully leaning against the car, actually allowing me to open his lips as I kissed him. I was kissing my boss. Jesus, I was kissing Tseng, and he was letting me do it. The confusing son of a bitch was letting me push him up against his own car and kiss him. My god, I dont remember a lot about that kiss except for the fact that Tseng tasted exactly the same way as he did this morning. Despite blocking me out, treating me like shit, saying no... Oh my god, so this meant he didn't hate me after all then...

Far from it.

Eventually Tseng did push me away, but I was guessing it was only because he needed to breathe. He just pushed against my chest till I got the idea, though he had to push pretty damn hard before I stopped. I guess I just wanted to make sure this was really happening, you know? My brain's been known to screw me over on more than one occasion.

Somehow, Tseng's leg had curled itself up around my waist during the kiss. I hadn't even noticed until now, and even Tseng seemed kinda surprised at where it had ended up. I just stood there grinning like a moron, hand still on his chest as he lowered his leg back down to the ground.

You ever got that feeling where you can't even remember your own name or where you live because you're so damn ecstatic? That was me. Who was I again? I know it began with an R...

"Reno..." Tseng growled. Oh yeah, that was it: Reno. But Tseng's voice was cold again, and he looked completely horrified. "Get the hell off me."

You remember that grin I was talking about earlier on? It disappeared in a fraction of a second, along with my pride, and that little ray of hope that I'd been keeping somewhere inside. Shit. Tseng's dark eyes stabbed at me like fucking knives, like I'd just majorly insulted him. What the hell was wrong with him? He'd fucking well enjoyed it, and now he was telling me to get off him? Okay, here's my conclusion: Tseng is sick in the head. That's the only reason I could come up with at the time. What kind of twisted asshole would actually lean into a kiss, and then tell the kisser to go screw themselves?

A cruel, hard, twisted fuck, thats who.

My heart just froze as I let go of his chest. This situation was fucking crazy, and he damn well knew it. He was like a damn shower tap: hot to cold in under 3 seconds, and about just as predictable.

"You do anything like that again, and I'll have you up on a damn charge."

Well that made it clear enough.

"Sorry." was the only word I could come out with, feeling even damn lower than I had before. Who's dumb idea had it been to kiss him again? Oh yeah: mine. Told you I was crap at planning things, didn't I? Now Tseng would never forgive me. I wouldn't even be able to walk into the office when my leave was over with my head held high. Kissing the bastard was just as bad as tattooing the words 'I wanna fuck you' to my head. Shit, I'd just screwed up royally. I licked the last of his taste off my lips and sighed, shaking my head as I walked towards the doorway into the apartment block. 'Yeah great Idea Reno, you stupid prick. You know your entire leave is gonna be spent thinking about that now.'

I didn't look back at him, but I could imagine the look of contempt on that gorgeous cold face as his eyes followed me into the shadows of my doorway. I scrambled frantically for my key and let myself in, virtually tumbling through into the hallway, jumping over the still broken phone in the middle of the floor, and heading straight for the kitchenette at the back. Alcohol needed. Alcohol is the answer to all life's problems, I've figured out. 'Can't work out Tseng, can't do a damn thing right, can't seem to get out of this bad luck rut I'm stuck in. To hell with Tseng and his fucked up psyche, I'm getting fucking drunk...and hopefully staying that way for the next three weeks.'

I was about to down my third bottle, about 20 minutes later when the doorbell rang. Oh fuck, now what? Knowing my current luck, it was probably the fucking landlord come to collect the rent. Geez, that was all I needed now. I decided that maybe if I ignored it, it'd go away. However it didn't. The damn doorbell just got more persistent...and damned annoying. In the end I gave up.

"Keep your fucking hair on." I mumbled to myself, and staggered to the door. I swear if this wasn't pretty important, the person on the other side of the door was gonna end up head first in the trash with an empty scotch bottle jammed up their ass.

That thought went out of my mind when I opened the door and saw who the hell was standing there, arms folded across his stomach as usual, that tight cold face staring back at me. Jesus, my heart was about to give it up, I swear. What did he want now? I swallowed hard.

"Boss?" I drawled, and tried to hide a cringe as I expected him to start lecturing me. I could already hear it in my mind, and it wasn't good. Tseng's face stayed flat, even though the next thing he did told me everything, or at least everything I needed to know.

Tseng, cold heartless head of the Turks stood on my doorstep silently, as the subordinate, half-drunken asshole in front of him prepared himself for whatever it was Tseng wanted from him. Tseng's lips opened to say something else while I just stood there, fucking paralysed as the confusing son of a bitch on my doorstep tried to speak. I think eventually he just gave up, because he just seemed to crack and walked, uninvited right over the threshold and into my hallway, and I would've protested... if Tseng's tongue hadn't suddenly been filling my mouth.

At first I was kind of shocked, but Tseng has something that can just turn me into goo every damn time. So he'd blocked me out once... twice, maybe three times, but it didn't fucking matter. When Tseng finally decides he wants you, you don't say no. Besides, I have some manners, and I was taught never to speak when I had my mouth full.

Whatever he'd been planning to say probably couldn't have summed things up as well as this situation could: Me backed up against the wall, Tseng's lips over mine as he ran a hand through my messed up hair.

I ended up smiling against his lips. I don't think I was happy exactly, it was probably pure and utter damn relief, because I'm pretty versed when it comes to body language, and from the way he was kissing me, I could just tell: Tseng didn't hate me, wasn't goddamn disgusted with me, at long last wasn't trying to block me out.

My mind was finding it impossible to process the fact that after all this fucking around the guy actually wanted me.

I guess my luck was starting to change, huh?


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Tseng's lips pressed against mine forcefuly for a minute or so, his entire gorgeous body pressing me up against the wall of my hallway. At least, I thought that was were we were. Hell, we could've been doing this on Shinra's table in the middle of one of those godawful all-staff meetings for all I knew or cared. The only fact that my stressed, fatigued and lately drunk little head cared about or could even comprehend was that this was Tseng - fucking gorgeous, fucking cold, fucking loveable, fucking confusing Tseng - who was kissing me, and how disgustingly easily I was giving this kiss away after he'd screwed with my head all goddamn day. But then who cares... Tseng's tongue felt damn good in my mouth, and I wanted it to stay there.

Am I shameless? Could be. I mean, I'd rarely turned down a chance for a quick fuck in the past, but desperate would probably be a better way to describe it this time. I'd been desperate for this to happen for weeks... months, and fuck it, now more than ever I wanted my cold fuck of a boss to do this. Actually no, forget 'wanted'... 'needed'. I needed this. It's not very often a guy like me gets or wants real affection instead of quick, noisy ruts in my office. But right now? Right now I needed affection, and holy crap, Tseng suddenly seemed uncharacteristicly willing to give it. I felt him stifle a groan in the back of his throat and sigh for a second before his lips finally parted from mine.

I opened my eyes lazily as I felt Tseng move away and I actually found myself following him forwards for another kiss before I stopped it. Desperate? Yes. Clingy? No. The last thing I wanted to do was suffocate the asshole. I mean, if that happened, what the hell would I do for the rest of the night? Besides, I'd practically screamed how much I wanted him by kissing him outside, and I was supposing - and, you know, forgive me if I'm jumping to conclusions - that him walking straight into my apartment and shoving his tongue down my throat without so much as a word meant that he wanted me too... and about fucking time! In the morning, when I woke up with my hangover, it'd probably hit me just how goddamn in-fucking-credible what was happening actually was, but Right now my esctatic little brain was content to pretend that this was a very realistic erotic dream, and just like in any other dream I was gonna make damn sure I got the most out of it.

When my eyes finally decided to focus, I found myself staring into Tseng's dark, normally cold eyes, his eyebrow raised and his lips quirked into a knowing smirk as he licked them slowly and pressed himself closer against me. Fuck only knows what I looked like to him - my eyes shadowed with pure need, as well as relief, disbelief, lust and a whole bunch of other emotions I'm not sure they've named yet, and my mouth was stuck open stupidly from the kiss, so I probably looked like some slack-jawed idiot to Tseng.

I took in a few ragged breaths in the silence that followed, Tseng's damn perceptive eyes searching mine amusedly.

"...Do you have any idea how many company codes you've just violated?" he finally growled at me in that cold tone of voice he'd used on me earlier outside, and for one godawful, horrifying second I thought I was right back at square one with the confusing son of a bitch... that was, until the hand that had been wrapped in my hair moved down slowly to touch the base of my neck, and his eyes softened into what could have - if I'd been sober enough to comprehend it - been affection. My eyes rolled back into my head again at his touch, and this time I didn't bother to stifle a growl, as for a few seconds it was the only noise I remembered how to make.

"Uhh... its probably better not to count." I drawled at him, grinning lazily with the scotch in my blood. "Why? You gonna put me on a charge then, Tseng?"

"Absolutely. Intra-office relationships, insubordination, insulting a superior, disobeying orders, personal distraction..." I swear, half of these he was just making up to make me shit a brick. Thankfully, I was too far gone to much care wether he put me up on charge, as long as he didn't mind staying in this position for a few more hours...

Tseng finally finished his list of charges as his hand continued to touch the base of my neck gently. He looked at me with a sudden flash of sincerity.

"...now you tell me Reno, what am I supposed to do with you?"

I shrugged and let a feral grin cross my lips. He had been half serious, but a question like that was just asking for a Renocentric answer, and even fucked up to the nines I just couldn't resist it.

"Well I dunno boss, I guess I could think of a couple of things." I murmured quietly, and let myself move my arms to circle around his back and pull him closer, not that there was much room for him to get closer, but god it didn't stop me trying. Now he was willingly here, I wasn't giving up my chance. Hell, its not like it had come here easy, and besides: for once I just needed somebody there. I mean, come on I'd just had the worst week of my entire damn life. And who better to keep me company than this miserable, sexy bastard, huh?

Tseng didn't say a thing. He just smirked at what he rightly assumed was a trademark Reno reaction and began to let his hand at my neck trail slowly down my shoulders, and I actually saw lust form in those way too cold eyes. For the first time since Tseng had come in, I realised how nervous he looked: despite the smirk and the calm facade, his breath was ever so slightly ragged and his face looked barely worried. Wait one goddamn second! Why would Tseng be in the slightest bit nervous about this? Unless...

A part of me half panicked at the thought that this could be Tseng's first time with a guy, and that maybe that was the reason he was always so stoic with me. Holy crap, it made sense too, that maybe he wasn't sure about wether to react to me because he wasn't sure what to do. 'Christ, don't flatter yourself Reno.' I knew for a fact that wasn't the reason: from the way his hands seemed to know their way around the male body, and the force he'd been kissing me, I knew damn well that Tseng had been sure of his sexuality for a long long time. Jesus! To think that this time last week I thought that he was straight! There seemed to be something else on his mind, behind the lust in those dark, serious eyes, and the more sober half of me wanted to find out just what it was. But knowing Tseng and that damn man's over zealous pride, he'd probably change his mind again and walk out, and if he did that I swear I'd completely lose my already pretty damn fragile mind. Holy crap did I need Tseng to stay here right now. After Rufus, you'd expect me to be avoiding situations like this like a drunken Scarlet at the Shinra Christmas party, but as my very quickly growing libido will bear witness to - that sure wasn't the case. In fact, after Rufus, a kiss like that - and what I fucking prayed it would be leading to - was a damn sight better at easing my fucked up mind than any amount of alcohol had ever been able to, and he had only kissed me! 'Forget Tseng's problems for now, you stupid idiot. You're about to get what you wanted, don't cheapen it.'

It went silent as Tseng leaned back in towards me, his hand started to caress leisurely down my spine as I tried my best to stave off the groans I felt humming up inside my chest. Crap, how can one guy, who acts like ice all fucking day, have a touch that's so goddamn soft? Softer than any woman's touch I'd been with anyway, and it was doing something to me that was making me shudder after every movement of his fingers... I don't know, maybe being used by Rufus had just made me more sensitive to this kinda stuff, I really dont know. All I know is, as Tseng worked his way slowly down my back, I couldn't help but let out that damn moan that had been trying to get free for the last few minutes.

Oh fantastic, and now Tseng would think I was a jackass weakling... But he just smirked harder, apparently glad to be causing me to moan under just his touch. His eyes suddenly flashed and he growled at me through the lust:

"Damn your stubborn ass, Reno." and before I had a chance to retort he'd pressed his lips against mine again. Hard.

Shit, but Tseng was a good kisser! And he tasted good! I felt as if what was left of my brain was slowly dribbling out my goddamn ears at the taste. His tongue was mixing with the leftover scotch in my mouth to make one of the best cocktails I've ever had. I could market it, and it'd be a best seller: 'Tseng on the rocks', 'Tseng on the beach'. Walk into a bar and order a 'Pink Tseng'.

Damn, this guy's mouth could make me millions.

His lips were forceful against mine, but supple as well, and his tongue slid along mine the same way it had, when we'd been waiting to die this morning. I couldn't help but just meld into him and groan. This was what I'd goddamn been longing for, and this time there was nothing to interrupt us, no reason to rush it or be disturbed.

If I said I was out of my mind with the fucking esctacy of it all, that would be one hell of an understatement.

Tseng groaned into my mouth quietly and I tightened my grip around him as I felt something hard pressing against my leg. Well, looks like I wasn't the only one getting excited, at least. He pushed me hard back against the wall with a grunt, and it was only when I heard the door slam that I realised he'd shut it behind him with his leg. And then my heart did fucking cartwheels. Tseng was actually staying! He wasn't gonna just up and leave! I lost my breath. I couldn't help but break away from the kiss and hiss.

"Reno..." I heard Tseng murmur, and his attention turned to my neck and shoulder. Call me easy, dammit, call me whatever the hell you want, I seriously don't give a rat's ass, but just the sound of that man saying my name made me shudder. His voice was heavy with lust as he kissed my collarbone, and I felt as though I was going to pass out right then and there. Just the fact that someone like Tseng would want some skinny little runt like me was one hell of an aphrodesiac. His hand continued down my back slowly... and I cried out in pain when it touched the wound at the base of my back.

"Ah Holy shit!"

Tseng stopped what he was doing suddenly, halted for a second, and then drew away from me with a sigh, the offending hand held out in front of him as I only just stopped myself from whimpering at the loss of body warmth. I was barely able to keep my own weight up due to inhebriation and just complete, utter fucking lust. His eyes settled on his fingers, and I was still feeling a twinge in my back from where he'd touched it.

There, on Tsengs fingers, was wet blood.

Fuck.

Tseng's eyes snapped straight from lust into that godawful stoic business stare as he looked at the blood on his fingers, and he tensed up, pushing his emotions back behind the barricade with such utter perfection I could've sworn I was looking at a completely different guy. He was tight ass Tseng, head of the Turks again, and I gulped when his steely eyes flashed up from his hand to me. He clamped his jaw and glared.

"You didn't change the bandages, did you?"

And that would be a no. Well gee Tseng, when your heart's just been crushed under a certain someone's polished Turk-issue boot, the last thing you're interested in is dressing your fucking wounds! I wasn't about to admit that though, so I just did what I could and shook my head slowly, unable to take my eyes off that changeable face of his as he sighed, the way he sighed when I was late for work. You know? The one that infallibly made me feel like crap. And just because he'd been kissing me and murmuring my name a few seconds ago didn't make me feel any less crap-like. Just call me 'Reno a la Crap', stick me in the open, and watch the flies flock round.

One thing I have to say about Tseng: he certainly knows how to manipulate people. But I guess that goes with the territory: 'Head of the Turks' aint exactly a prestigious title, but it takes a hell of a lot of professionalism. Which is why I'll probably never get it, and probably wouldn't want it. Yeah I take my job seriously sometimes... when I feel like it. But 'Head of the Turks' would just be too much like actual work.

Tseng sighed in annoyance and pinched the bridge of his nose again.

"Reno, if you weren't already on leave I'd suspend you. You're a complete imbecile."

I was too damn lustful to pay much attention to what he said, so I just smirked drunkenly.

"Well from you, Tseng, I'll take that as a compliment." I growled, and reached out to pull him back towards me. Yeah I have a one track mind, but come on, this was Tseng! I'd been waiting too damn long for this to let some insignificant thing like bleeding to death get in the way of things.

If it was you, would you have let the guy walk away?

Tseng glared harder at me as my hand reached out for him, and then he snatched it out of the air and held it almost painfully tight. Shit, my heart went through another jolt when he did that. I wondered for a second where the lust in his eyes had gone. I realised it was still there, but it was overrun by what I reckoned was anger at me for not doing what he told me to. I sighed and rolled my eyes. OK then, I guess he wasn't gonna let this go. Damn Tseng and his professionalism! For a second his eyes felt so cold I thought they were going to strike me down through just staring, and then they softened slightly, so he looked more like an angry principal than a psychotic assassin. He let go of my arm and shook his head.

"Don't even think about it now, Reno. Get your sorry ass into the kitchen."

Well his voice seemed softer now anyway, though he still looked pretty pissed at me. Couldn't blame him, I guess: He'd ordered me to do something important, and I'd blatantly ignored him. Ah man I felt like some scalded little kid. And at the same time, I couldn't help but feel like a cat with the cream. At least now I knew Tseng didn't hate me, and maybe he was ready to open up to me. But god, could he torture me any more? Come on, Tseng, I've had a fucking terrible day, have a sense of compassion. You can't just kiss a guy and then expect him to stop, even if the guy is a complete ignoramus. That's a punishment way worse than any suspension.

I couldn't help wondering what exactly he wanted to do in the kitchen, but Tseng had his 'comply or have all your limbs removed' face on, and I really didn't like the idea of being dismembered in my hallway, so I kept my mouth shut and tried to think straight enough to remember where the kitchen was. Have you ever had to think when you're drunk, horny AND going into the first stages of shock? Trust me, it does nothing for your short term memory.

'Kitchen? Yes, Reno... you remember, kitchen? Where the food lives?'

Took a while for me to remember, but I got it in the end, and managed to push myself away from the wall Tseng had pushed me up against without collapsing. Props for me, I guess, considering everything. But I was determined to show Tseng the wound in my back wasn't that bad, so I wasn't gonna try to grab onto him for balance or anything. I mean, walking is the natural instinct for humans, right? A little alcohol and lust shouldn't be that big an impediment...

Tseng watched sternly as I stood up and skulked past him to lead him to the kitchen. The broken phone still lay smashed in pieces on the hall floor, and Tseng stared down at it inquisitively as we passed.

"I didn't like the color." I said dryly, and stepped over it. Well, the last thing I wanted was a fucking inquisition about why I'd done it. That'd lead us back onto the subject of Rufus, and at the moment that was part of today and the last week I seriously wanted to forget. Having Tseng here - even if he was suddenly acting like a grouchy old schoolmaster - and actually knowing he didn't despise me and think I was scum, made me feel calmer, but I wasn't about to go blurting out everything about what had happened with Rufus. And anyway it might scare him off. The last thing I wanted was to be left alone after everything: Rufus... Don Corneo... holy crap, the events of the last week were still spinning round in my head like roulette wheel, and I'd do whatever it took to keep Tseng here.

Fuck it, how sucky that sounds.

My kitchenette isn't much bigger than one of the toilet stalls back at Shinra Tower. Seriously, and it has the same kind of smell too. Mostly because I can never be assed to wash anything, so the floor is littered with half eaten pizzas, underwear (not always mine) and empty bottles. For the most part I rely on fast food and takeaways, because physically washing plates, cutlery or anything of the sort brings me out in a cold sweat, thus from all the times I have been forced to use anything that needs washing, the sink of my apartment is stacked high with crap.

Trust me, if the state of your house represents the state of your psyche, then mine should be on the critical list right about now.

Why am I telling you this? Because that godawful mess is what the pristene, crease-free head of the Turks had just walked into... with one of the most restrained faces adorning his face he's ever managed, even though you could tell he was disgusted by what he'd just walked into. He stared round at the chaos for a second, me almost cringing at how it must look to the most stoic guy in Shinra to see such a mess. Then he looked at me with a quirk to his lips as he tried to surpress a smirk.

"Nice place you have here." He raised an eyebrow at me, and I let a lopsided grin form on my face as I recognised Tseng's weird humour emerging. He didn't seem all that bothered by the complete mess he'd just waded into. And why not? I'll tell ya why: because nobody in the whole of Midgar can resist my sexy, debonair charm for long, not even Tseng.

Yeah I know... I don't believe a word I just said either.

"Well, you know... the Midgar Hilton just didn't have the class for me."

To tell the truth, this sudden change in Tseng's attitude was one hell of a shock to my system: twenty minutes ago, he'd been telling me to get the hell off him, and now? Now he was wandering around my house... and my god, he was even being fucking sarcastic! If I said I wasn't completely astounded and shocked beyond belief, both you and me know I'd be a goddamn liar, but I wasn't gonna go and show my surprise to Tseng. Yeah, he wasn't blocking me out completely any more, but he was still the most confusing asshole in the whole of Midgar, and also, the most intimidating. Even if he had just been kissing my face off a minute ago, he was still my boss, and I was still kind've afraid of the bastard. I was kind of drunk, but I was doing my damndest to tread carefully. Better to be safe than in a bloody puddle on the floor, after all.

He kicked one of the empty scotch bottles out of his path as he walked up to the cupboards and stared up at them. "Bandages."

It finally clicked what it was he was upto. "Top right hand cupboard." I slurred. I was starting to sober up a little now. Enough to speak in full sentences anyway, and enough to begin to realise he wasn't doing this to punish me, as well.

I watched him and took in a sharp breath as he reached up and pulled open the cupboard door.

Crap, this wasn't punishment at all, this was him worrying about me.

Tseng... was worrying about me? Yup, no doubt about it, as much as he was trying to cover it up with that damn righteous stoicism. I knew damn well that the lust in his face earlier hadn't been fake, so I knew he wanted me. Maybe not as much as I wanted him, maybe for him this might turn out to be a one night deal, but he definitely wanted me. There was definitely no confusion in that department anymore, which believe me, was one huge weight off my shoulders, as well as one of the most unbelieveable pieces of info I'd ever heard. He could've just ignored the fact that I was bleeding and carried on knowing I wouldn't have said no, but he hadn't. This was Tseng trying to help me, putting off his own desires to make sure I was OK. Jesus, how much self control must that take?

I felt a lump in my throat, but forced it back down before it had a chance to settle in.

Well whaddya know? Behind all the stocism, snide comments and hardass attitude, the son of a bitch actually has a heart.

Well, If Tseng could restrain himself, then I was damn determined to show him I could too. Sound childish to you? Maybe it was, but I'm stubborn, and maybe a little too proud. Besides, considering the way he'd been acting in the hall (which hadn't completely sank in to my fucked up brain yet, and hopefully wouldn't for a while or I swear I'd have a heart attack) I knew it must be taking a godawful amount of self control to be still putting on this front. So I tried to ignore the unsightly bulge in my pants for now and pretend the scene in the hall was just my mind doing its favourite trick of wishful thinking.

I watched him searching through the cupboard with a lazy look of disbelief, and couldn't help but just stare at that goddamn perfect body as he moved. Tseng has this way of moving that's unlike any guy I've ever seen. I guess you could call it graceful: his movements are so damn precise, and yet its like they all flow together like some kind of dance. It's hypnotising if you stare at him for long enough - which on normal days you don't, as he'd damn well notice, being the annoyingly perceptive asshole he is, and he'd figure something out. But now he already knew, so where was the harm in staring? Okay, so if Rude was here it might look kinda odd to him, but thankfully Rude wasn't here, so I could stare all I damn well wanted. Eventually Tseng turned back with a reel of bandage in a bundle in one arm. Well you know, we're Turks, we're always getting injured (well I am, anyway) so it makes sense to have a little first aid on hand.

"You have a couch, I presume?" He mocked, one corner of his mouth twitching up into something of a smile "That is, unless you actually prefer wallowing in your own muck?"

Too out of it to reply with a smart ass comment, I went for the easy option and just grunted annoyedly. Well, at least he was actually being sarcastic now, instead of biting my head off for disobeying him. Try as I might, I couldn't stick to being indignant for long. For one reason, that emotion really never suited me, and for another, Tseng - as I've said before - can say whatever the hell he likes, and then one curl of his lip and I'll turn to mush, so I couldn't keep a damn shield up against him. Heh... I guess 'corperate ass kisser' must be written on my forehead. I did manage to surpress a smirk though, and shot him a half hearted glare as I led him across the two feet of floor between the kitchenette and the lounge. Yeah, a real palace, my place, aint it?

Now this room was a little better, at least there weren't clothes and empty pizza boxes strewn across the floor of this room, and there wasn't all that much crap in here. It looked more or less neat... for me, anyway. Tseng looked round the room for a second, almost sizing it up before he dumped the armful of first aid stuff on my coffee table and indicated wordlessly for me to lie on the couch. I froze for a second, not exactly sure what it was he wanted me to do.

Tseng looked back at me with an expression of annoyance.

"Has that miniscule brain of yours finally stopped working? I told you to do something, Reno."

He sharpened his glare to make sure I realised he was being serious, and he scowled at me.

"Just get on the damn couch." He ordered. I figured it was better to do what he wanted, instead of comment on the insult he'd just thrown at me, and like a good little subordinate employee I went to comply. "wait."

I frowned to myself. Well for fuck's sake, make up your mind, Tseng... What do ya want me to do next? Dress in a tutu and dance?

I froze where I was, one leg up already on the couch as I climbed onto it and I just stayed like that as Tseng walked around so that he was behind me. Thinking about it, it was probably more logical to stand up again instead of just freezing, but since when has my mind worked on goddamn logic?

I shivered when I felt Tseng's hands on my shoulders, and he slipped the tattered shirt I still had on from off my shoulders. I knew it had to be done and all, but Tseng was doing it so slowly that I wondered wether that endless self control of his had finally slipped. I took a few deep breaths, and then realised why he was going so slowly as he peeled the cloth away from my bloody back. I clenched my teeth and tensed up.

"Christ." I hissed through my teeth. Tseng didn't even halt.

"Easy." He said quietly as the cloth finally left my skin. "You know this is your own fault. You're a stubborn prick Reno. This might teach you to obey my orders from now on."

And that would be Tseng trying to chastise me. He sounded like a damn school teacher and I couldn't help but scoff as I climbed onto the couch with a tired sigh, and lay on my stomach, head on the cushion at the end.

"Let's face it, Tseng, Costa Del Sol will fucking freeze over on the day I actually obey orders." Tseng looked down at me with a flash of that ice he loved to use.

"And that's exactly the kind of attitude that got you in such a mess in the first place."

I frowned at that, and I swear for a second my heart stopped beating. Pearls of wisdom from Tseng there, and thinking back, they rang truer than he could've damn well imagined. Just over a week ago, I'd been slacking in the Shinra cafeteria instead of doing a report Tseng had told me to do... and what had happened? Rufus, thats what the hell had happened. And since then, everything that had happened had stemmed from my goddamn stubborn attitude: I'd gone home and got drunk, and because of that, I'd been in no fit condition when we'd fought Max and his brothers, and I'd been injured. Because of that, when I'd followed Rude and Tseng down to sector 6 I'd been too weak to fight back, and I'd been used as a goddamn hostage. Come to think of it, everything that had happened to me this week had stemmed from me being a lazy bastard. Fuck it, I'm not saying Rufus... did what he did and it was my fault. That sick fuck had his own agenda. But the fact is there that if I'd actually did that damn report, none of this would have happened.

On the other hand, if none of this had happened, then Tseng never would've kissed me in the first place, and then I wouldn't have had the guts to say a damn thing, and then he wouldn't be here, leaning over me, drowning out the lust while he took care of my wounds, which in some twisted, half-assed way, I was kind've enjoying. So I guess that was some sort of consellation for the week behind me.

But then, maybe -

Oh screw this, my goddamn fucked-up head was going round in circles. 'Okay Reno, stop thinking now before you give yourself a nosebleed.'

I grunted when Tseng leaned over and began to peel away the blood-soaked bandages from my back, but he just told me to shut up, so I did.

Still, I guessed Tseng was right. For the first time in my career I was actually taking what a superior said seriously. Maybe from now on, I ought to be a little more professional. Hey, I wasn't about to turn into an ass-kissing employee of the month, but I was 24. if I wanted to live past my 25th birthday, maybe I should actually take the job a little more seriously. I looked up at Tseng from my position on the couch, tense as fuck because of the feeling as the bandages peeled away from my raw flesh. He obviously didn't expect me to look up at him, because when I did I saw what was undeniably concern lingering in that gorgeous face of his, before he saw I was looking and covered it up with a stony glance.

"That bad, huh?" I grunted through the pain as he finally pulled away the last reel of bandage and dropped it beside him on the floor. Tseng's eyes flickered down to mine for a second, before he looked back at my wound with an expression of concentration.

"If I hadn't come here when I did, this wound probably would have been infected by morning. You should've stayed in the hospital wing, at least for a night, but you had to be stubborn. Yet another instance of your damnable stubborness impeding your judgement."

Ouch. Can you say 'tactless'? I frowned for a second and looked up at him, but Tseng didn't seem to have realised what he'd said was anything but truthful. Had he got amnesia or something? He fucking well knew why I didn't want to stay in that hospital wing! Damn, I nearly blew my fucking top, but when I opened my mouth to snap at him, Tseng interrupted.

"We are Turks, Reno. When it comes to the job, there should be no emotion. Especially not fear." He stared at me meaningfully with those last three words, and he slowed down to stress them out. I just blinked stupidly. There was business in his voice, but I sensed a tiny drop of sympathy in his expression. What the hell was he saying? That I shouldn't have been scared of Rufus? That I should've kicked the crap out of him like Tseng had done? Of course, Tseng didn't know everything that Rufus had been doing this past week, so he had no idea just what I had to be afraid of. I couldn't really blame him for this out-of-place pep talk... I suppose. But I still felt damn angry that he was being so fucking straightforward. "In a civillian, fear is a weakness, but in a Turk it's a deathwish. It'd be a waste to see you die because of your emotions. You have the makings of a great Turk... if you actually bothered to take the job seriously."

"Well being a bum has sure worked for me so far." I snapped.

"Really? So that's why you're a bleeding, ugly mess right now, is it? Trust me, you've been lucky so far..." He sighed and frowned a little more than usual. "But sooner or later, wether it's tommorow, next week, or six months away, that luck will wear out and you won't be half so cocky with a bullet in your gut."

He looked down at me seriously, as he grabbed a cloth off the table and started to clean away the dry blood from the edge of my wound, and I clenched my teeth against the pain so hard that I thought I'd fucking break them. Well thank you Tseng, what a great confidence booster. Hey don't bother with praising your employees any more, go with Tseng's idea and get them to shift their asses by telling them they'll be dead if they don't. I cringed against the cushion when Tseng poured some kind of oil over my skin, which I guessed was antiseptic. Ah shit... if I'd still been lust-drenched up to this point, then it disappeared right this second when a wave of tingling pain hit my back. I think I tried to shout some sort of abuse at him, but what came out was too incomprehensible to sound offensive to anyone. You would've thought that if the guy at my side had any feelings at all, either physical or emotional, he would've had some sympathy... but nope, no sympathy for poor Reno from this mean asshole... he just took great pleasure in telling me it was my own fault, and told me to be quiet. I panted for a few seconds and then tried to settle down. Bastard. Yup, thats what Tseng is, a complete bastard, and I was gonna tell him that if I ever got the chance.

It went silent for a few minutes after that. Not that it bothered me exactly, as I was too wrapped up in pretending it didn't hurt to notice much else. I did notice something though. Despite Tseng's mean ass attitude, he was actually cleaning me up incredibly carefully. I occasionally managed to pay attention to him, and I noticed how goddamn gentle he was trying to be. He was trying his hardest not to hurt me, and actually he was surprisingly skilled at it.

In Turk training, we're taught the basics of first aid. Just the basics. Nothing too advanced mind you, after all: the Shinra company doesn't want to spend too much time on us underling cretins. The point of being a Turk after all is: you're brought up from the slums, you're used, you die, you're replaced. They can dress it up all they like, but thats the basic truth. Anyway, the point is yes, we're given basic first aid training, about an hours worth of it, and if you're really really desperate for medical attention while you're out on a job, the results of a home made cure aint that pretty. We're assassins, not medics, and we're clumsy. Tseng, however... the way he was doing this could no way have come from his one hours worth of Turk training. This guy knew exactly what he was doing. He was calm, professional, careful...

"You've... done this...before." I grunted as he finally started to bandage me up again. He stalled what he was doing for a second and I saw some kind of emotion flash behind his eyes as he looked down at me. Then he did something...completely fucking insane.

He smiled at me.

Ok so it was a pretty weak smile, barely visible really on that serious face, but I noticed it, and it wasn't the normal smirk he switched on when he was vaguely amused at something I'd done wrong, or when he wanted to intimidate me and Rude.

This was - fuck - it was a real smile, a soft smile. Maybe it was a little sad, but it was still a smile. I was seeing beyond the mask for a second, looking at somebody different. Looking at the same side to Tseng I'd seen in the Don's mansion. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, but I couldn't help but stare at this new expression Tseng seemed to have plucked out of the air. It looked odd on him, yet somehow it made him look ten years younger.

He turned back and resumed wrapping the bandages around my waist as carefully as he could, still letting that melancholy smile stay on his face.

"Would it surprise you if I said that I once wanted to be a doctor?" He uttered quietly.

Huh...? For a second I thought I needed my ears syringing, I could've sworn he just said he wanted to be a doctor

I lifted my head up from the cushion to look at him properly, and I swear it took all my concentration not to let my jaw just drop in disbelief. Why was he suddenly telling me this? OK, so I'd been able to stop myself from having a heart attack when he'd walked into this place and kissed me, but now you were expecting me to believe he actually wanted to open up to me too? No way, this must be some sort of trick... right? But just one look at Tseng's face and how serious his dark eyes were told me enough. This was no fucking joke. He was reaching out to me, not just chastising me or telling me how stupid I was. Fuck... I gulped to hide the rising lump in my throat before I answered.

"No." I lied, and Tseng's lips flicked up for a second in amusement.

"You're a terrible liar, Reno." The curled lip sank back down and his face changed to an expression that on anybody else, could've been bordering on sadness. "Back in Wutai, I was planning on becoming a surgeon. I was determined I would go to the best college, get my degree and become one of the leading doctors. I was going to be the best..." He was almost talking to himself, like he didn't realise I was there as he worked at my back, but I was too goddamn shocked by the words coming out of his mouth to pay much attention to the pain. "Then the war broke out. My mother was killed, I ran away to the eastern continent and worked with Shinra to get my revenge on my mother's killer. Then in repayment I became a Turk, and have been ever since." He said the last sentence with a frown, and past the disbelief I was feeling I could sense a little regret as he tightened the new bandages carefully around my waist. Then he sank back onto his heels and looked it over. I couldn't help but frown in sympathy as he said his next words, even though it was damned obvious he was trying to keep some sort of self control. "So now instead of saving lives... I end them."

Fuck, Tseng looked so damn sad as he knelt there, all I wanted to do was reassure him somehow. But what could a loudmouthed prick like me say to that? I've never been much good at reassuring people, talking about anything except booze, women, gambling and guns is something that's just beyond me, but I wanted to do something! I'd never known any of this, and it showed me just how little I really knew about the cold bastard I worked under. So Tseng's plans had been crushed by the war - by Shinra. So just because he looked so pristene and content in his job, just because he wasn't from the slums, didn't mean he hadn't been shit on by the company... under all the ice, he was basically a corperate slave... just like me and Rude.

My stomach bunched up as I watched him. I'd never actually seen Tseng like this, even in the Mansion, waiting to die. He wasn't acting up to the crowd right now. At all. I don't know what the hell triggered this admission off, maybe the fatigue and stress of the last few days had finally gotten to him, but whatever the reason, he'd just given me a glimpse into something more than cold bastard Tseng. When he'd finished, the smile completely disappeared, and he tried to replace it with that cold front again. I can only guess he suddenly regretted letting me in on his past, and he wanted me to back off again. But this time it just wasn't fucking working. I could see through it now. The Tseng I saw at work - that pompous, big-headed, professional bastard - wasn't who he'd wanted to be. It was who he'd been forced to become by Shinra.

Maybe it was the fact that Tseng had already kissed me that made me so goddamn brave, maybe it was the alcohol still swimming in my blood, maybe the pain from my back had just made my fucking sanity fly straight outta the goddamn window, or maybe the fatigue had caught up with me and I was too tired to go on anything but instinct. Whatever the fuck it was, the next thing I knew I'd reached out my arm towards him... and with one hell of a deep breath, I started stroking his hair to comfort him, like I had the night before.

Tseng froze. I could see how completely he tensed up when he felt my hand in his hair, and he shot me a look of shock, maybe even alarm as I ran my fingers through his jet black hair. For a second he seemed to be warding me off, and I thought he'd reverted back to the old stick-up-the-ass Tseng who didn't want a piece of scum like me to even touch him - hey, you never knew, considering Tseng's drastic changes of heart over the last few days - but after a few seconds of holding my breath in anticipation, his face finally softened, leaning into my touch like a cat... just like he had before. I physically saw the tension fall away from his way overworked shoulders. I half expected him to start purring any second now.

I sighed. Now this was the Tseng I'd fucking longed to see! Damn, but it had taken long enough for him to get here. I was beginning to wonder if this side of Tseng hadn't just been a goddamn figment of my imagination. But it had finally come back. No more of that 'come close and I'll kill you' shit, no more attempts to keep me at bay. He sighed and reopened his eyes while I ran my fingers through his damn intoxicatingly silky hair, and he looked at me as the lust flamed back up in his eyes, and was it just me, or did I see relief lurking in there too? Maybe it was just me, I was damn tired after all.

He moved closer to the couch and reached up to trace circles slowly on my neck, and I sighed. Probably in relief, maybe in lust... to tell the truth it was damn difficult to differentiate between the two. I'd tried my best to keep this damn longing at bay, but it wasn't working any more. I licked my lips and stared up at him, hoping he'd get the message of what I wanted. He looked at me for a second as the old, controlled Tseng started to come back with lust in his dark obsideon eyes.

"Reno...?" He questioned, his voice more Tseng-like now. It was only after a couple of seconds that I realised he'd just silently asked me a question.

My eyes opened wide in realisation. Shit, I suddenly knew exactly why since he'd come in, despite giving in to kissing me in the beginning, he'd been reluctant to carry this through. I licked my lips and gulped, closing my eyes at the feel of this normally cold bastard's fingers along my neck. If it had been anyone else, any other situation I would've just nodded, and spared myself the loss of dignity. But this was different: Tseng knew me better than any of my one-night stands. I needed to do more than just nod my head to convince him to go ahead, and if he didn't I swear I'd just pass out right now.

"I don't... give a shit about Ru... about that crap right now." I mumbled in answer to the question he hadn't asked. "I just..." Okay Reno, deep breath. The next words were gonna sting like fuck to say, but dammit, they needed to be said. I opened my eyes again gingerly, I had to force myself to look Tseng in the eyes when I said this... I had to. I'd waited a fucking long time to say them - for months they'd been there in the back of my head, nagging at me every time I saw the annoying bastard waiting for me with a scowl every morning. Say it Reno, for fuck's sake say it...

My voice was so damn full of lust when I did get the words out, I hardly recognised it:

"...I want you."

There. It was done.

Tseng's fingers stopped their circles on my neck and I forced myself to keep looking at him, as a series of emotions seemed to flicker across his face. Shit, had I said the wrong thing? Looking at Tseng's face right now was like watching a roulette wheel you'd just bet your life savings on, that's the only way to describe the complete mixture of hope and terror that was gripping me right now, and then I watched as the roulette ball dropped, and a single emotion finally settled on his face.

And then Tseng, head of the Turks, my boss, fellow Shinra lapdog, and the one person I'd ever honestly physically needed, leaned over and actually kissed me, and my muscles felt like they were about to give up and die.

It wasn't a hard kiss this time, just intense, and this time he let me take control of the pace. I had to close my eyes so that Tseng couldn't see the utter relief that would most definitely be in them, and the only thing I could think about was how long it had taken for me to say those fucking words, and how goddamn glad I was that I finally had.

I guess sometimes, you just gotta gamble it all.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Is it possible for humans to physically turn into puddles of goo? I've heard of people - normal everyday people, who have just spontaneously burst into flames, no reason, no explaination, so I wonder if the opposite is true, and anybody has ever just... melted away?

Well if it isn't then I swear I was about to break scientific history. I felt as though I was just going to melt and dribble off the couch into a puddle at Tseng's feet any damn second now. My brain seemed to have numbed and lost any sense of reason at the taste of Tseng's lips, so what I felt like now was indescribably similar to what I think a vegetable must feel like: I couldn't speak, could barely breathe, sure as hell couldn't move as Tseng leaned closer and closer into me, until that silk soft hair of his was actually brushing my face as our tongues wrapped around each other, and I could smell that fucking gorgeous smell of his right under my nose.

Fuck, but you have no idea how much relief I felt right then, mixed with the utter damn lust that was brewing up inside me. The idea that Tseng hadn't just up and walked straight out on me when I'd said those words was more than my poor brain could manage, and I had to open my eyes a couple of times to make sure that he really was still there and this all wasn't just some cruel joke pulled on me by my own subconscious. Thank fuck it wasnt: Tseng was actually still here, was actually still kissing me, had actually opened up to me just a second ago. Of course, the state I was in, that information wasn't sinking in at all, but that could wait until morning. Jesus, I just hoped this heart of mine was up to it, or I could very well end up crumpled on the floor having a damn heart attack.

This whole situation just felt like a dream. Heh... that sounds so damn cheesy, I know, but if it weren't for that goddamn pain in my back right now, I'd be prepared to swear I was actually asleep, dreaming this all. Oh crap, Tseng just tasted, felt, smelled too goddamn good to be real, and I felt as though my stomach had knotted itself to death inside me. Shit Reno, this is what you've been waiting for. Two years of cowering to the cold son of a bitch, two years of being scolded, chided, reported and taunted by him and finally that fucking ice of his had melted and whaddya know? The guy wasn't actually such a bastard. Holy crap, reality check please? Tseng was actually human.

Have you ever actually been physically unable to control your own body? I have... several times this last week, but that wasn't what I meant. My body is the most notoriously uncontrollable piece of crap in Midgar, and I know why, too: the damn thing's been allowed to swan around and do practically whatever it's wanted up to now, so getting it to actually do what I want can be one hell of a challenge, and since I was currently only half sober, and the coldest, most fucking gorgeous man in Midgar was leaning over me, kissing me, holy crap, groaning into the kiss... wether I wanted it to do something or not, my body was gonna do exactly what it damn well wanted.

That's why this kiss that had only meant to last 30 seconds at the most, was still going after two minutes, and was slowly turning into one of the fucking hardest, lustful, needful damn kisses I've ever had, thrusting my tongue down into Tseng's mouth as hard as I could, desperate to taste him now that finally I was allowed to, and why I found that the hand I'd just a second ago been stroking his hair with was now clinging desperately to it and pulling him even closer, actually pulling him onto the couch as I sat up to face him. What can I say? I'm an impatient prick, I guess. Even wounded, fucked up, tired and bleeding, I guess I'm just the kinda guy who isn't gonna waste any time. I just wanted the guy so fucking badly it was painful, and I was groaning back at him so hard that I'm amazed I was even able to breathe. My body was physically aching, it wanted him that badly, and who am I to deny my body what it wants? I mean fuck, it deserved a little pampering after all the crap it had been taking.

Tseng was the one who broke the kiss eventually, panting for air, his eyes shadowed with the kind of complete utter lust I'd seen only once before in him: when we were in the Don's mansion, and holy crap just looking at him staring down at me like that sent a shock straight to my already pretty excited groin. I suppose my look to him must've been pretty much the same, as both of us panted, catching our breath, fingers trailing against each others skin in an attempt to keep some kind of contact between us while we struggled to get enough air into our lungs for our brains to work properly again. Not that mine had been working entirely on full capacity before, but right now I couldn't even string a goddamn sentence together if I tried. Trust me when I say that lust is a hell of a lot more difficult to think straight with than any alcohol.

Tseng licked his lips slowly as his breathing finally slowed and he quirked an eyebrow amusedly at me in that look that traditionally turned me into goo. This time I was damn glad that I didn't have to hide the cheesy grin that I felt forming on my face at 'The Look', because I dont think I could've managed it even if I'd tried. Jesus, even though as a Turk I was scared shitless of the guy, now I'd seen him out of hours, he suddenly wasn't scary at all. I mean, hell yeah he was still my boss, and when I went back to work I'd probably still cower every time he snapped at me, but right now? Leaning over me panting, lips bruised from kissing me and eyes burning into me like I was the last candy bar in the store, I... really wasn't scared of him. It didn't matter what the fuck he was like at work, I knew now from what he'd told me that most of it was bullshit. This Tseng right here with me was the real Tseng, and even if he docked my damn wages, made me feel like scum, punished me or taunted me at work, I didn't give a fuck anymore. This Tseng, the out-of-hours Tseng wanted me, and as far as I could tell from the look in his eyes, wanted me pretty damn badly.

Unbe-fucking-lievable.

I grinned mischieviously and raised a hand to trace over those smirking lips of his slowly, reddened and moist from a three minute long kiss, and just fucking screaming to be kissed again, at least, in my damn mind they were. I wasn't going to let myself this time though. That last one had taken a hell of a lot outta me, and if we kissed like that again I doubt wether either of us would have the energy left to make it to the main attraction, after all, both of us had had one fuck of a hard day, and I'd be damned if after waiting so long, I was gonna let this bastard fatigue catch up with me and spoil it all.

Tseng just smirked harder as my finger traced his lips, and his own hands wandered down from where he'd been caressing my neck all this time to roam with barely touching fingertips across my chest. My goddamn stupid grin faded slightly and I gulped at the sensation, noticing how just him touching me was quickly turning my pants into one hell of a painful tent. Tseng's eyes narrowed wickedly as he passed a finger over my nipple, and watched with that same smirk on his face as my brow knotted and my breathing caught. Aw fuck, I couldn't let him tease me like that for long, the mean son of a bitch. I felt as though my brain was dribbling out of my ears. The fact that this was Tseng doing this to me somehow just made the whole thing a hell of a lot more difficult to control, what with him being so out of reach for so long. On instinct I ended up leaning back against the back of the couch with a quiet moan. The wound stung like fuck, but right now? I didn't give a rats ass wether it hurt or not, the lust was numbing it too damn much for me to care, and as Tseng slid his hand across my nipple for a second time, leaning further over me to adjust to how I'd moved, my smile faded back to lust and on some weird instinct of mine... I slid both my hands down his chest and into his pants.

The look on Tseng's face changed completely. One second he was smirking, apparently enjoying watching me, and the next his eyes glazed over and he only just managed to stifle a moan of his own, staring down with shadowed eyes at me as my fingers caressed against the hardened flesh.

Tseng growled, and I nearly stopped what I was doing in surprise. Did that really just come from him? It wasn't exactly a sound you expected him to make, and holy crap, I even growled along with him, and I felt the pang in my crotch turn up by about ten levels as he rocked his hips to my touch.

"Reno..."

He moaned my name and nearly collapsed over me, so close I could hear as he struggled to control his breathing. I remembered just looking up at him with pure lust in my mind. So this was Tseng actually feeling something, huh? And damn, but it was so tempting to just reach up and kiss him, but I somehow - fuck knows how - managed to stop myself. The look on Tseng's face was way too strange to me, and I just wanted to watch him, to see emotions on his face I'd never actually seen before. It was goddamn hypnotising.

It still hadn't sunk in that Tseng was actually letting me do this to him, or that anything that had happened so far tonight wasn't really a damn alcohol induced dream. Heh... in reality, I was probably passed out on the goddamn bathroom floor in a puddle of my own drool, an empty scotch bottle clutched to my chest. I mean, even though I knew better that Tseng wasn't just the cold, hard ice cube I saw at work, I have to admit when you've been terrorised by the asshole for more than two years, you tend to disbelieve it when he lets you put a hand down his pants.

Tseng moaned in the back of his throat as I stroked him, and my god, he actually started to tremble, his hands still on my chest, but gripping to the muscles for support now, rather than moving across them. I couldn't help but smile at the way he was panting and moaning and rocking against my touch, his eyes closed and his brow furrowed as I began to grip harder and stroke faster, out of instinct I guess you could say. Yeah I know: I know doing this for Tseng, he'd probably be too damn tired afterwards to do anything else, but you wanna know something really damn insane? I didn't give a damn. Not a damn. Tseng had put his fucking job... no, not just his job, goddamn it! He'd put his life on the line for me today, and I suddenly realised while I was laying there, that I hadn't even said a simple thank you to him. I frowned as for once I actually felt guilt stir up inside me. Shit, he could've just left me in that office to be fucked over by Rufus. He could've simply walked out that door, put up that goddamn mental block of his, and walked away. But fuck it, he hadn't. He'd actually stormed into that office, and kicked the crap out of the second most powerful man in Midgar... just to help a prick like me out. I wanted to thank him, and right now, since the part of my brain used for speaking seemed to have taken a spontaneous vacation, this was the only way I could think of. I made my grip on him firmer and stroked faster, as he gripped mercilessly at my chest and moaned, starting to lose any control he had. Hey, I'm no romantic: I wasn't gonna go away and write him a song or some shit to thank him, I wasn't about to go out and buy him a boquet of fucking flowers, and I sure as hell wasn't gonna go and cook no meal for him. For a guy like me, this was the only way I could think of to thank him for helping me. For now all I seemed to be thinking about was doing something for Tseng, even though my own dick felt wildly underappreciated. Eventually though, he must've realised what I was doing, because among the pants and slowly loudening groans he gave, I heard what could've been a 'no', and his hands moved from my chest and pulled my wrists away reluctantly. After a few seconds he opened his eyes slowly, trying damn hard to control himself, I'll bet. He looked down at me seriously and shook his head. He didn't say a word, probably because he couldn't, but I knew Tseng well enough to know what that look was saying.

I shrugged and sort've half smiled at him, feeling kind of sheepish under that repremanding look he gave me.

"I... just figured - "

I never did get to tell him what it was I'd just figured, not that it entirely bothered me, as the taste of Tseng's tongue sort of removed any misgivings I had about him interrupting me. Hell, even if he let me finish a second later, I wouldn't have remembered what the fuck it was I'd been trying to say.

I closed my eyes and groaned when Tseng captured my tongue between his lips and sucked on it, running his own tongue along the underside of it in a way that was just too damn provocative to be ignored. My hips shifted involuntarily up off the couch towards him as my mind started to fall apart at the seams, beginning to work almost entirely on instinct now. I found that my hands were creeping up that insanely toned chest of his to start undoing the tattered shirt he still had on. Well, you know, it just seemed incredibly unfair that Tseng was still fully clothed, whereas all I had between me and nudity was my pants and a pair of boxers. I guess my fingers just wanted to even the score a little, and hell, I wasn't going to stop them. Neither was Tseng apparently, he just groaned back at me with a shudder and released my tongue, replacing it with my bottom lip between his teeth and sucking hard.

...ah Fuck!

Damn, but that man knew how to kiss. Up til this point, I'd been with too many women to count, and every single one of them had been decent kissers... just decent. Nothing special, not one kiss had ever stood out in my mind as particularly good. Mostly, they just opened their mouths and let me do what the hell I wanted with them like goddamn dummies. Like I said: most of the women I attract like to be submissive, but with Tseng... damn, this was unbelievably different. Just the feel of the guy's lips on mine sent shudders through my entire body, and I think - oddly enough - I actually sorta liked the idea of him being in control. With Rufus, it had frightened me shitless to think of him having control over me, but that was for a different reason. I trusted Tseng with my life - I mean, fuck, he'd saved it enough times out on Turk business - and I knew he wasn't about to fuck around. I trusted him, and I didn't mind the fact he was in control of this kiss... this situation. In fact, I was leaning back and goddamn enjoying it. Jesus I was enjoying it more than any time I'd kissed a girl. I suppose, after taking orders from him for two years, it kinda came naturally.

Woah, wait a second, hold everything. Did I just say... I trusted him? Since when had I ever trusted anybody?

Well, that was sure a turn up for the books. My breathing hitched for a second as realisation hit me, and I nearly sat up in surprise at myself. So I trusted him? Well, thinking back yeah of course I must do, or why in god's name would I have told him half the shit I had? About my scars, and about Rufus? Would I really have spilled that to anybody else, holy crap, even Rude?

I paused what I was doing for a second to think about the answer.

Well what do you know? Even though he'd scared the hell outta me at times, and made me feel as though I wasn't worthy to lick the dirt off his shoes, somehow I'd ended up trusting him.

Man... how fucked up must my head be.

I finished undoing the buttons on Tseng's shirt and it fell open, the material brushing gently against my bare skin as Tseng leaned over me, still with my lip caught between his teeth as his eyes opened to look at me. It felt like he was studying me again beyond the shadow of lust in his eyes as my hands began to roam greedily across those firm, toned muscles that he hid behind that pristene suit all goddamn day. While I was laying there, enjoying the feeling of just being able to touch him without being told 'get the fuck off me Reno', I felt his hands come back into contact with my skin, and my god, I was damn willing him through my eyes to go further as his fingers trailed slowly down my stomach, down my abdomen, every single damn muscle of mine shuddering as he passed over them, and then his hand rested finally on the button to my pants.

He let go of my lip and looked down at me for a second, his hand still resting maddeningly on that button. I tried to get my head together enough to think. Why...in the name of all thats holy... had he just... stopped? I frowned up at him impatiently and shifted my hips restlessly, hoping he'd get the idea, but he didn't move. Something terrifyingly similar to doubt flickered across his face, and he looked down at me, suddenly business like and serious again. Oh Shit. I couldn't help but just gulp. Was he having second thoughts all of a sudden? 'Oh Jesus Tseng, don't do that to me.' I thought, and held my breath. He couldn't come this far and then just change his mind, it would be fucking torturous. Goddamn it, but he must've seen how much I needed this. Was he gonna walk away now? Tseng wasn't that cruel...was he?

He sighed and lowered his head, looking at me seriously through those dark lashes so that I would pay attention.

"Reno..." He said quietly, the office-hours business voice seeping through, his hand still resting on that button so that it was hard to concentrate on his words, "... you realise, If we do this, you can never tell anyone?"

I know it was the most goddamn innapropriate of times to smile, but I guess the relief just got the better of me for a second and I let a tiny smile of relief form on my face. Holy crap, so that was what he was worried about? Both of us knew I had one hell of a big mouth, and Tseng still had his job to worry about, I guess even more so now: Rufus would probably be sitting in his office cradling his sore head right now, planning on looking for any goddamn dirt he could find on Tseng for helping me and for blackmailing him, the spiteful, hateful saidstic bastard. Yeah, I guess I understood why he'd be thinking that, but damn him! Trust Tseng to spoil a perfectly good grope with stuff like this. He glared at me seriously when I started to smile, and I tried to clear my head so that I could actually speak.

"Jesus, Tseng, who the fuck would I tell?" I reassured him, cursing him for ruining the mood we had going on. I decided not to wait for an answer as I pulled the torn shirt from off his shoulders. We'd wasted enough damn time getting here, and if Tseng thought I was stopping now for a nice little speech interlude, he was horribly mistaken. He seemed to think about it for a second before speaking next.

"Rude... any of the executives... one of your 'friends' in the cafeteria."

I sighed. Goddamn it! Of all the times to start thinking about that. Didn't he get the message yet? This was way too important for me to go blabbing it around Shinra HQ. It's one thing to tell people about your female conquests, but I wasn't about to go round telling everybody about Tseng and me, and fuck it, but I'd hardly call Tseng one of my 'conquests'.

"Rude thinks I'm full of shit anyway, the goddamn executives never come near me unless they have to, and I only ever talked to the waitresses for one reason."

Wow, I was actually surprised I was even still capable of saying so much, what with my head just so damn full of lust, and I was surprised that I'd actually opened my mouth and told the truth. Tseng raised an eyebrow at me, that serious look on his face fading into something of a smirk at the mention of the waitresses. He'd caught me with them more than once, and if I had any shame I would've been blushing like a damn schoolgirl right now. Thankfully shame was something God obviously thought I wouldn't be needing this lifetime. I decided to ignore the fact I'd referred to the waitresses in past tense, putting it down to the fact that my brain wasn't working enough to get my grammar right rather than anything else.

"I noticed." He said slyly, and lifted his hands so I could finally... at goddamn last get that shirt off him and see that damn fine chest of his in all its glory. I grinned vacantly at his last remark, and let my eyes wander lustfully over it for a second as my fingers trailed over his abdomenal muscles, revelling in the way they receded when I touched them. The bruises that I'd seen in the Don's mansion hadn't faded yet. In fact, they seemed to have become darker, and holy shit, he was covered in them. I frowned for a second, remembering the state Tseng had been in when they'd brought him back, eyes tired, limping, sore... Shit, I'd forgotten this. I'd been so damn wrapped up in my own little world of misery since then that I'd all but forgotten that Tseng had been so messed up by the Don's gang. I suddenly felt sick as I remembered how bad they'd hurt him, and how bad I'd felt that they had. He'd carried himself damn well over the past 24 hours, and I was goddamn amazed at how quickly he seemed to have cast it out of his memory. However, I also knew first hand how frustratingly well Tseng could hide his emotions behind that wall, so who the hell knew wether what they'd done had effected him or not?

My brain stopped working again with an illiterate moan and a roll of my eyes when I felt Tseng's hand on my cock, and I dragged my eyes away from his chest to look up at him as he traced his fingers across it for a second. My brow furrowed as I tried to hold in another groan... and I falied miserably. Damn but how could he do that to me under just touch? At the time, I didn't really care, all I cared about was that it felt so goddamn good. My hips rocked up to meet his touch, but his fingers didn't stay there for long. The doubt was gone from his face, at least, and his eyes were beginning to turn back to that droolworthy, smoldering look of lust as he finally... eventually... painfully slowly... undid that damn button on my pants.

My head fell back against the cushion limply and I closed my eyes at the unbelieveable sensation of my boss' fingers unbuttoning my pants, like I'd goddamn fantasised about only so much more real. Then I heard those long wutaian fingers unzipping my flies. For a second I tensed up at the memories that sound brought back, but wether Tseng actually knew, or it was just some sort of coincidence, when I froze the hand he wasn't using slipped up my chest and around to touch the base of my neck like he'd done when he came in, and it made me relax again. To hell with Rufus, he'd done enough to me, the sick little fuck. I wasn't about to let the bastard win by screwing this up.

The next thing I knew, my hands were sliding down from his abdomen to return the favour, damn shaking too, as I lifted my hips compliantly so that Tseng could get rid of these goddamn inconvenient pants, along with those boxers. I panted impatiently as the material slid down my thighs and onto the floor, and tried damn hard to think past the thought that I was now naked with Tseng kneeling over me, in order to remember how to undo a fly. It took me a while, and I had a feeling Tseng was beginning to get kind've impatient, but somehow I fought off the short-circuiting of my brain long enough to manage it. Then I just gave up any damn self control I had left and kissed him, arms around his neck, not together enough to pay attention to the fact that Tseng's hands were no longer planted either side of my head like they had been a minute ago. Ah fuck, I was moaning into his mouth now, eyes squeezed tight just through longing it had got that damn bad, not that he seemed to mind. For a second I lost focus of anything except kissing him. I forgot I was actually now stark naked on my couch... that was, until Tseng suddenly sighed, his lips broke away from mine, he replanted one of his hands where It'd been before and moved close in to me. The feel of warm bare skin against mine made me realise that during that kiss, his own pants had been removed.

My eyes flashed open wide in realisation. Holy. Fuck.

I know its rude to stare, and damn, but I knew what a complete and utter moron I must've looked to him, sitting there on my couch naked, the strangest, most bizzare look on my face as I just stared, wide-eyed at how mind blowingly perfect that dark body was that was kneeling in between my thighs. Damn, but this was unreal. COMPLETELY unreal. Somebody fetch me a crash trolley, I could swear, the rate my damn heart was beating? it was just gonna give up the struggle any second now.

How in the hell could a guy with such a damn near perfect body go and hide it behind a stupid, buttoned up, choking suit all day? It was completely wrong to keep such a goddamn work of art behind a curtain like that. It was beyond belief. I think I decided right then and there, that if I ever became President of Shinra Inc, my first business would be to change the head of the Turks' uniform. There was no way I'd let something so goddamn brain numbingly gorgeous stay inside a boring dark blue suit. I was thinking... something along the lines of a pork pie hat... and nothing else.

Hell, it'd save on material, too.

I looked up and licked my lips at Tseng, who looked just as wanton, finally beginning to get it through to my thick skull what was happening here. Tseng was naked, in my apartment, kneeling between my thighs, that perfect, normally untouchable body in plain fucking view as he smirked at me, that pristenely kept long raven hair falling loose over his face, and those dark Wutaian eyes so damn reassuring... as though he knew how fucked up my head had felt this past week, and was trying to soothe it, and damn, it was working too.

"Jesus." I whispered to myself, reaching across to catch a strand of his hair, as though I wasn't sure if he was really here. Tseng overheard it though and let what could have been a smile pass briefly across his face, as though those way too perceptive eyes knew exactly what I was thinking. The hand he'd planted at my side suddenly brushed through my hair as though he was trying to reassure me he was real. My breath caught when Tseng's other hand crept up my inner thigh as he leaned back towards me. At first I thought he was coming back for a kiss, then his lips passed mine and rested against my ear.

For a second he stayed there, one hand on my shoulder, the other on my thigh and I just listened. My eyes were closed, and I could just feel his hair resting against my face. Fuck, but if I'd been in a less lust-driven frame of mind, I would've sworn I'd died and gone to heaven... if it was possible for guys like me to go to heaven.

"...you're still sure you want this?" Is what I think he murmured, though I could've been wrong. By this point I was pretty much going deaf from the sound of my own clumsy breathing. I felt a lump in my throat as I realised he was still thinking about me, about what had happened to me. It was a goddamn stupid question though. He must've known by now just how goddamn much I wanted this. Christ, it was so much more than want by now. I'd never felt this damn needy in my life - of anything. But how was I supposed to tell him that? How in God's name was an illiterate, vain, self-centred bum like me supposed to tell Tseng that I... needed him?

In the end, I didn't. Not verbally anyway. I panted, and then answered in the only way I could think of at the time: I trailed my arms up his back, pulled him closer, and tugged on his earlobe with my teeth.

I was rewarded with a hum of appreciation in my ear, and then he returned the favour, his tongue darting out against the skin afterwards, in what I guess was him understanding what I'd 'said'.

"We need something." he murmured again, his voice low and lustful, though it took a while for me to realise he'd spoken this time: Tseng's hand was suddenly tracing up my thigh again, and the feel of his bare body pressed against mine was just... so goddamn...

"Hmmm?" I eventually managed to get out, having to physically force my eyes to open and concentrate. What the hell did he mean, 'need something'? Was this another of Tseng's little speech intervals? My god, I fucking hoped not, or I was gonna go insane. "Need something..." I repeated to myself stupidly, trying to remember their meaning. What the... oh, wait a goddamn second. It suddenly clicked.

Kudos for Tseng... he was managing to stay in control of his mentality and think about things a hell of a lot better than me. But I guess that wasn't such a big surprise. Hell, if he could keep himself looking so enthusiastic about that job of his when he was just as much a goddamn slave as me, surely a little lust would be easy to control?

Oh Okay, maybe not so easy then, as I heard his breathing. Jesus, he was panting nearly as fast as me.

"Uuuh... bedroom. Top... drawer." I slurred eventually, managing somehow to make the words make sense.

What? You think because up until a few months ago I'd considered myself straight, I didn't have any lube in my goddamn apartment? You think any self respecting womaniser nowadays would dare to live without it?

"Stay there." He growled, and then slid his teeth down my ear again for a second. I shuddered as he drew away, realising just how damn cold it was in here without Tseng's body warmth, and the feel of his skin against mine. I reluctantly let go of his back and let him get up, though I had to damn well struggle with myself for a second before I could actually let him go. I mean, I guess my brain still classed Tseng as completely unpredictable, and didn't want him to leave in case he changed his mind suddenly and climbed out a goddamn window or something. I knew better though. For one reason, Tseng's clothes were on the floor in front of me, and I very much doubted wether he'd want to walk around this neighbourhood stark naked.

Tseng slid off the couch still with that graceful precision that made him so damn gorgeous, his eyes fixed on mine the whole time, as if he was trying to reassure me he wouldn't be gone long. The hand that had been resting on my thigh trailed down my leg and then left my skin as Tseng walked away. I had to stop myself from grabbing his arm and pulling him back towards me. Instead I just leaned back and looked him over achingly as he pushed open the door that obviously led to the bedroom and walked in, suddenly out of view as he headed over to the only set of drawers I had.

I shivered again, vaguely concerned with the state I'd left my bedroom in last time I'd slept in it, but just too far gone into lust to be bothered. I looked around the room, wild eyed, breathing so damn hard I thought my lungs were gonna burst. I tried to close my eyes and just concentrate on slowing down my breathing. I was going dizzy, and if I didn't sort myself out pronto, I was gonna pass out, and then when I woke up god only knows what Tseng would think. I licked my bruised lips for a taste of him to keep me going, as I listened to the sounds of movement in the bedroom. Jesus, I don't think my body was capable of moving right then, even if I'd wanted to. Tseng had told me to stay here, and staying I was, like a goddamn obedient dog or something.

'That's it Reno, roll over. Fetch. Beg.'

I felt sick without the feel of his skin against mine, which was the first time I'd ever felt like that. It was so goddamn strange a sensation. The only excuse for it I could come up with was that I'd kinda got used to it, and I was missing it now. I was completely out of it, and not because of the two whole bottles of scotch I'd drank before he'd got here, either. I swear, that man was like a drug:

'Class A drug: Tseng. Highly addictive. Causes heavy diziness, confusion, and a heightened sex drive. Should be confiscated on sight, and users admitted to high intensity rehab.'

Managing to somehow slow my breathing down enough not to be on the verge of passing out right there, I opened my eyes again when I heard footsteps coming back. Tseng suddenly walked through doorway, a lustful but amused look on his face as he walked across the room. I couldn't help but look him over with a stupid smile, walking like he owned the place, back towards me. There was something that in anybody but Tseng could've been called laughter in his eyes, as he came and settled back in between my thighs, finally breaking my withdrawal symptoms by trailing his hands down my chest, the cold tube in his right hand making me shudder. Call me paraniod if you like, but I wondered what it was he was so amused by. I mean, either he found something about me amusing, or he'd seen something in the bedroom that I shouldn't have left out, and both ideas were kind've unnerving. I didn't have to wait long to find out though.

He raised an eyebrow at me, a smirk starting to form on his face.

"Handcuffs?"

"Ah..." I couldn't help but a smirk out despite myself. Ah... shit, Tseng had been in that top drawer, hadn't he? The top drawer where I kept all the stuff I used for the women I brought back here. That wasn't what he was smirking at, and I damn well knew it: he was smirking because those handcuffs were Shinra issue especially for SOLDIER. If I'd been in a more literate state of mind, I'd've damn well fought my way out of the situation... but what the hell. He knew they were stolen, I knew they were stolen... thats what happens when you drag a slum rat up and surround him with expensive shit. He could put me on a damn charge if he wanted... there were way more important things on my mind right now. I just shrugged and reached out to pull him closer again, wrapping a hand in his hair posessively. I watched as that smirk on his face faded to something that mirrored my expression, and he let out a hum and shivered, his eyes seeming to literally glaze over before me as I traced a hand down his bare spine. Damn, but I was already breaking out into a sweat, and we hadn't even done anything... yet.

It was so damn... surreal to see Tseng in this position. We're talking about Tseng: the man who could make the northern continent look like the damn Costa Del Sol, he was normally that cold. In two years, two months of working under him, I'd never even seen him out of a goddamn suit, let alone like this, and all I'd ever got from him was snide comments, reports and wage docks, so even though we'd got past the Shinra 'dont talk to no scum below me' heirarchy crap already, what he said next actually took me by surprise:

"Reno, has anybody ever told you really do you put the 'ass' in assassin?" he growled, eyes half closed, trying damn hard to still keep some sense of control as I carried on running a finger up his spine. I couldn't help but breathe out, in what could've passed as a laugh I suppose. I guess that was Tseng's sense of humour coming out there, and it felt damn good to hear the miserable old bastard making a joke, even if he had just called me an ass, but hey I was used to that coming from him. I suppose even out of hours, that was just part of who he was. Jesus christ, it felt good to hear myself laughing, after the shit I'd had to put up with today. If there was any ice left to break between me and Tseng, I think it just broke... at goddamn last. No more boss-subordinate stick-up-the-assedness. I licked my lips and smirked as I pulled him closer.

"Yeah... I've been... told that once or twice."

Tseng's eyes flashed, and he leaned forward and kissed me forcefully for a second, catching me off-guard before I managed to comply and kiss back, his tongue flicking against mine and a hand in my hair at the back, loosening my ponytail. Well, at least I knew he hadn't cooled off on his trip to the next room. Ah Christ, I couldn't believe how smooth his skin was, pressed against my rough, fair skinned, scarred damn carcass.

He finally loosened my 'tail and my hair fell loose on my shoulder, then he sat back and looked me over, as though I was a goddamn exhibition or something, and started unscrewing the tube he still had in his hand. I gulped silently, knowing all too well just what was coming next, but knowing it would be different this time. This time I wanted it... so fucking badly, so this time I was prepared for something different. Tseng looked at me with a concerned frown when I rested my head against the cushion behind me and let out a long breath. Heh... just call me psychic, because I knew exactly what the next words from his mouth were going to be.

"Reno -"

"You say that... one... more time Tseng, I'm gonna haveta... shove that tube... of lube up... your ass."

Tseng shot me a look that screamed 'I'd love to see you try' and squeezed out some lube onto a pair of fingers.

Oh shit... you have no idea how suggestive my goddamn brain can be, and even when I'm in the most blatantly sexual situations, it still somehow fixes on to something tiny and insignificant and fills my head so full of images I'm about damn ready to burst right there. And the way Tseng was applying that lube to his fingers... I actually moaned and shifted around under him at just the thought of him doing that to me.

Tseng's eyes flickered up at me when I moaned, probably wondering what the hell was up with me, but hey, can I help it if my libido gets the better of me? Hell, if he were here with him, wouldn't he be in the same state?

I suddenly realised a greased hand had laid itself on my shoulder blade, and Tseng was looking at me with what was probably concern. After all, he didn't know just how goddamn badly I needed this. He probably still wasn't sure wether I was thinking straight after all the shit, but to be honest I dont think I've ever goddamn needed something as much as right now. It's true, I felt kinda stupid, feeling this wantful of somone. I mean hell, that was definitely something new for me. I've always been the suave, smooth-talking, irresistible asshole of Shinra. But right now I couldn't exactly be called suave. Goddamn desperate, maybe. As for smooth-talking, my stupid piece of shit brain was seizing up with needing him so bad, that I couldn't even smooth-talk an old hag like Scarlet if I'd tried. And irresistible... heh yeah right. I hadn't touched a comb or any goddamn hair gel in over a week, and I was covered with totally unflattering bruises and a huge bloody wound in my back. I hardly felt exactly like the sexiest guy in Midgar right now. The weird thing was I didn't care about my pride right now. I mean fuck, this was Tseng, goddamn it! Who gave a damn about pride right now? I know I didn't. Even though I looked and felt like fuck beyond the lust, I didn't give a damn, because Tseng didn't seem to give a damn either. There was no reason to act up, nobody to impress.

His other hand, the one with the lube, was hovering just in front of me, and for a moment didn't seem to be moving. At all. I frowned and shifted restlessly.

Oh Jesus Christ, Tseng!

Holy crap, my brain felt about ready to explode with goddamn frustration! I couldn't take this waiting any more! I moaned again, my damn breathing getting harder and harder to control and looked at him, eyes most likely glazed over, my vision blurred like hell. My hips lifted themselves as best they could, the wound stinging as it pressed against the back on the couch, but my head too damn out of it to care. I managed to do one last thing of my own free will. I nodded.

Tseng's eyes didn't leave mine the whole time, and the hand on my shoulder tightened its grip slightly as I felt those long, cold, wet fingers slip under me and slowly press against my ass.

Holy fuck... if that 'puddle of goo' thing was ever going to happen, it would have been right then.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

"Nnngh..." I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut against the feeling as Tseng's fingers slipped past the ring of muscle and slowly slid up into my ass, working their way deeper as my walls got used to their presence.

Oh yeah Reno, one of the most damn unbelieveable moments in your useless existence, and the best you can manage is 'nnngh'? Hardly a damn sonnet, but then when have I ever said things that sound even remotely poetic? 'Nnngh' was probably the only thing I could've possibly said right at that goddamn second: I was more interested in keeping myself from wimpering like a girl than making myself look good right now. Only two days ago, Rufus had been leaning over my fucking bed, pounding into me like I was some emotionless damn sex toy, and the results of that were still... painful... in more ways than one. I wasn't gonna let Tseng know that though, because I knew exactly what he'd say and do: He'd put on that cold business stare that annoyed and intimidated me so damn much, frown, say "I don't want to hurt you." or some other such responsible shit, and then walk straight out, leaving me here, whimpering on the couch out of complete damn need. And if you think I was gonna let that happen when I'd been waiting so long, you're sicker in the head than I am.

I clenched my teeth against the vague pain and the strangest feeling of Tseng's fingers actually moving inside me. I could feel his eyes on me, searching me, probably looking for any sign of discomfort. He knew what had happened to me after all, and being the annoyingly... stupidly responsible asshole he was, was probably still unsure wether he was doing the right thing. Ah Christ he was going so maddeningly slowly, too, or at least to me it seemed damn slow. I let out a ragged breath and found myself instinctively parting my legs further as Tseng's fingers finally slid completely into me, his fingers feeling so damn good as they slid against my ass, I couldn't help but let a moan pass through my clenched teeth. Jesus I didn't know wether I'd make it to the main event, the way my cock was just tingling at the way he was touching me.

The first time this had been done to me, I'd hated it. And I mean... really fucking hated it. As in, if given the choice between it and having my balls rubbed with a cheesegrater, I would've chosen the damn cheesegrater. But now? This was something...completely different to what had happened before. Maybe it was just because I wanted this so droolingly, ball-bustingly much, but the way Tseng's fingers were moving... so sure of what he was doing, so damn easily, that might've been the reason. Damn, this was... so much easier than before. Rufus had hurt me, not giving a damn wether I enjoyed it or not, as long as he got his kicks, but Tseng was doing this as easily as he could, knowing how fucked up my head must be, and probably thinking how hard it must be for me to even consider doing this with him, but the truth was... damn, the truth was that it was harder for me to think of not doing this. Tseng was the only person in the whole damn world that I actually completely trusted, and thats a fact. I trusted him not to fuck around with me, and thats why, even though my mind still felt on the edge of a fucking breakdown... even though two days ago, Reno of the Turks had been... raped, and even though those godawful images still spun through my head like a fucking carousel, my mind was still clear on one thing:

I...needed Tseng.

I was drawn back to reality when he just stopped, his fingers buried completely in me, the warmth of smooth, dark, Wutaian skin sending shudders down my already sweating spine as my muscles spasmed, getting slowly used to the feeling of something being inside me. I felt him lean over me again with a low hum, and I managed to open my eyes and look up at him. Damn, the guy looked so fucking sexy, staring into my eyes with... jesus what in the hell was that emotion? I blinked in surprise at his expression. There was concern there as usual, yeah, but there was... something else too, and dammit but I just couldn't work out what it was. He stopped barely a few milimetres from my face, so that his hair was moving in front of me as I let out pant after pant, trying desperately to make myself relax. 'Fuck it Tseng, don't stop now.' I thought to myself, and ended up pushing against his fingers and looking up at him pleadingly. Yeah I knew even then that that was something completely and utterly unmanly for me to do, but fuck, for once I really didn't care. I could be forgiven for that: Not only had all the shit this week turned me into a goddamn emotional wreck, but I'd fantasised about this for so fucking long... I was desperate. I was literally aching for him to carry on, my whole damn body covered in sweat and shaking like I was some stupid scared little virgin girl.

Heh... Damn Reno... never thought I'd see the day when you were the one who was desperate.

Tseng's eyes half closed when he felt me pushing back against his fingers, probably letting his imagination carry him away for a second before he bit his lip and shook his head. Jesus this was fucking torture! I could feel my damn cock straining under the pressure of what he was doing, and I felt like screaming. What the hell was he doing? Teasing me? Fuck it he better not be, or I was gonna bust.

He looked at me darkly.

"Reno...?" He whispered, sort've gingerly.

I just looked at him. Being me, it was difficult to say out loud what it was I wanted to say, but I tried anyway, with one hell of a lump in my throat.

"Tseng please... don't stop. Jesus Christ, I need this so fucking badly."

Oh shit... I just used the 'n' word. I just told the truth.

OK Reno, and those would be tears in your eyes right now. I blinked them back, but not before Tseng could notice them.

For a second he just stayed like that, maybe wondering how in the hell a guy like me could force himself to tell the truth about stuff like that, and then he leaned right over me and kissed me, his free hand on my cheek.

And everything - Rufus, Don Corneo, The wound in my back, the way my head had been perpetually spinning... just melted away. For the first time in what seemed forever, I didn't give a damn.

When that kiss ended, Tseng's hand traced along my scar for a second gently before it trailed down my cheek and my neck to curl around my back. Was it just me, or did I see tears in his eyes too for a brief second there? It had to be just me, just me and my screwed vision - Tseng doesn't cry, he's smarter than that. But still, I couldn't help but wonder...

"Reno I need you to relax." He said quietly, and I nodded. I was trying damn hard...

Through the sound of panting and my heart beating in my ears, I made out what could've been a whimper coming from somewhere. Okay...and there it was again! What the hell...?

It took me a while to realise that it was me.

The hell? I was whimpering? And damn loud too, now I realised it was me that stupid sound was coming from. Damn my body! It must really fucking hate me, the way it'd been acting this past week: my legs, my cock, my psyche... and now my voicebox. I managed somehow to stop myself, but I knew damn well it was too late to hide it. My heart nearly stopped. Shit, what in hell must Tseng think?

One look up at him gave me the answer. He closed his eyes, furrowed his brow and let out a low, throaty growl that nearly made me shoot my load right then and there, it was so sexy.

Damn, well the tiny bit of control I had left just went out the window then. I swear, that growl, and the rumbling it sent through me from where our chests were pressed against each other drove me to the brink of insanity, and just when I thought I couldn't take any more...Tseng's fingers... began... to move.

"Hnnn fuck!" I moaned, tensing up again for a second and wrapping my arms instinctively around his back as I felt his fingers withdraw from my ass, and then slowly move back again. Oh fuck I was going to pass out in a second. I hadn't felt this turned on in... actually I dont think I've ever been this turned on. And we're talking about me here. We're talking about Reno: the guy who's been inside chicks' pants more times than Shinra's filled his fat face with meals, and yet here I was, sitting on my couch with gorgeous, perfect Tseng over me, and it was turning me on more than anything in my entire life. Ah damn. Makes me wonder why I never tried swinging this way years ago. Heh... guess I can thank my overactive machoism for that.

Tseng's fingers stopped again, leaving me panting at the feeling, still clinging to his back like it was the only thing stopping me from just collapsing into a heap on the damn floor. I knew I was tense as fuck, and thats why Tseng had stopped again, but holy fuck, wouldn't you be? Still, if I didn't calm down soon, Tseng might take it that I wasn't ready, and holy crap I couldn't allow that to happen. I was trying desperately to calm down and relax, but it was taking all my strength just to remember how to goddamn breathe. Tseng opened his eyes again.

"Calm down." He murmured at me reassuringly, using his free hand to brush my hair out of my face carefully. Oh yeah? And what did he think I was trying to do here? Pray for rain?

Before my brain could think of an answer even remotely cocky enough for me to make the effort to speak, Tseng was kissing me, slowly brushing his tongue against mine. Ah...fuck it. I don't know how in hell he did it, what it was that was so special about that kiss, but it made the arms that had been clinging desperately - probably painfully - to Tseng's back fall loose at my sides, and every single muscle in my body went limp and I collapsed against the couch. Well... I say every muscle. Every muscle except the important one, and that was goddamn throbbing as Tseng moved his fingers again, still kissing me and capturing my groans in his mouth, returning them with those low purring ones of his own. This time I actually was relaxed... and actually damn surprised that Tseng didn't touch my prostate once as his fingers moved in and out of me. I think he must have been trying hard to avoid it. Its weird how that guy can be the cruelest, most stoic son of a bitch in Midgar at work, and then be thinking about me so goddamn much out of hours, trying to spare me the shock he probably thought I'd get if he played around with that thing. One hell of a good thing too, considering the state I was in already. The last thing I needed was a little extra stimulation.

After a few seconds he started to scissor his fingers, and fuck, but it made me groan louder into his mouth. My entire body arched up towards him before whatever that kiss was doing to me kicked in again and I sank back down, kissing back at him and relishing the taste that up until this morning, I'd only even dreamed about, unable to even move my damn arm to wrap in his hair like his was doing to me. All I could do was lie there and moan up at him as his fingers slid in and out of my ass. Hell, my breathing sounded like the damn Midgar train running at full pelt, and this whole crazy situation was making the room spin for me. Eventually I figured it was easier to close my eyes and save myself the damn confusion.

Tseng stopped again, fingers buried completely inside me again and halted the kiss, though by this time I was so far gone into lust I couldn't stop myself following him up like a damn girl. Not that it got me another kiss. The next thing I knew I was holding back whimpers of loss behind gritted teeth, as I realised Tseng's fingers weren't inside me any more.

I opened my eyes with a deep breath... to find that - yup the room was still spinning, dammit... and Tseng was kneeling between my legs on the edge of the couch, a vaguely amused look on his face. I reached across subconsciously and ran a hand down his chest, to feel his muscles twitch and shudder under my touch. I cocked my head to one side confusedly at him, at least, I think it was to one side. My brain wasn't really sure which way was up down, left or right right now.

God it was like I'd been on double whiskeys all night, only a hell of a lot more potent.

"...so damn funny?" I managed to breathe at him, my muscles finally coming back to life now Tseng had let up kissing me. He didn't even blink, and then came out with something... incredibly damn flattering.

"You, Reno." He came out with, smirking with a hand resting on my knee as he reached for the lube again.

Well gee, thanks Tseng. Glad to see I give you some fucking entertainment...

I watched, damn hypnotised as Tseng squeezed out more lube onto his fingers, and then started stroking himself slowly. Damn, what a show... I swear, my fingers were twitching like hell to join in with him, but I managed to pull some self control outta the air from somewhere and restrain myself. I don't really think Tseng would've appreciated it if I'd started messing around with his cock while he was preparing himself. Oh but fuck... you ever had those dreams where, the dude/chick you lusted after's touching themself? This was like that, only 100 times more fantastic, due to the fact that Tseng's body was like one of those guys you see on TV that've had plastic surgery or some such shit to make them perfect. And all the time he was doing it, he was staring straight at me, lips parted slightly to let out pants and his eyes half closed.

'I see where this is going,' I thought, still trailing a hand up and down his chest as he covered himself with lube, 'he's tryin' to make me drown in my own drool.'

In the end my instinct got the better of me, and my trailing fingers started to get lower and lower, until my hand was actually trailing up and down Tseng's greased length. Oddly enough he didn't even complain, he just looked even more lustful than before, and damn, but just the feeling of touching him made my hips shift up off the couch and I sat up, leaning in towards him as my hand automatically ended up on top of his as he stroked himself. I think he tried to say my name or something, though he didn't get past the 'Re' before it turned into another rumble of a groan and his hand stopped moving.

Call me an ass kisser, say I'm a sucker, on normal days I'd kick your teeth out, ram them down your throat and stick my boot up your ass.. but when it came to him... ah damn, but I'd have to agree with you, and Tseng's lips being parted like they were... dammit, but I kissed him on instinct, and this time it was him who was caught off guard, probably not expecting the nervous asshole I'd been a second ago to try anything like that. After a second of realising I wasn't about to back off he moaned into the kiss and both hands wrapped around my back. The next thing I knew we were leaning back against the couch, and then... Tseng gave in to an involuntary jerk of his hips.

Holy crap... I gasped my way out of that damn kiss and stars flew past my eyes as Tseng's greased length brushed against mine for a second. Tseng seemed kinda surprised at it too: his head arched back and his eyes squeezed themselves shut for a second before he looked back down at me glassy-eyed. Thinking about it with my half-dead brain... if that was Tseng's reaction to just a touch... then...

...maybe he wanted me nearly as much as I wanted him.

Well fuck me... I didn't see that one coming.

Actually, I was hoping pretty damn hard that first sentence was gonna be made literal soon... damn soon, if I could help it. I swear if I waited any longer for him I was gonna lose my mind and turn into a gibbering wreck... that is, if this week hadn't turned me into one already.

After we'd both stopped panting from the shock, Tseng shifted above me, and suddenly I could feel his cock resting against my ass. And then my breathing doubled and I nearly passed out. For a second my eyes flickered into the back of my head and if the room was spinning before, then it was suddenly spinning a damn sight faster. I think this is the moment where my defunct brain finally caught up with the rest of me, and realised that Tseng was actually physically here. This time it wasn't just my twisted little imagination pretending...ah Jesus Reno... the guy you're in love with, the one you risked your damn pathetic self-obsessed little life for, the one you'd given up hope of ever being able to touch without him flinching... Tseng... is about to have sex with you.

I dont know what the hell the point was in what I did next. I'd never done anything like that with any of the girls I'd been with. Even with those I'd actually liked more than just for their bodies, most of what happened between us was purely sex. Hard, instinctive, emotionless sex. But Tseng was... damn different. He wasn't just some bit of skirt I'd picked up at the bar and brought back, impressed by my Turks' uniform and good looks. Maybe being used by Rufus had changed me more than I thought, I really don't have a goddamn clue, but on some strange impulse I lifted a hand and placed it on Tseng's cheek. And the point was...? There was no point, except that Tseng's cheek was there, and I wanted to touch it. Maybe it was... a way of saying thank you. I couldn't see Tseng's face that clearly, due to my eyesight being completely screwed, but I felt him lean in slightly towards my hand, and shit, but it made my heart skip a beat.

'Come on Tseng,' I whispered to myself in my dazed, now incredibly confused head, 'I've been waiting for this two damn years.'

Tseng's expression suddenly looked vaguely surprised.

"You've been waiting for me that long?"

OK how in the hell did he... ah fuck I must've said that out loud. Not surprising really, the state my mind was in, and wait a second... had I said two years? That couldn't be damn right, I'd only even considered being attracted to the guy a few months ago. Or had I? The first day I'd been marched into Tseng's office with the words 'new recruit, kick him into shape' from the Shinra soldier as he slammed the door closed behind me... Reno, push the testosterone away from your brain just for a second and think about it, way back then, when you were still a stupid, straight-as-they-come rookie, maybe...

"Yeah." I admitted, with a gulp and a sheepish smile, to myself as much as to Tseng. "Yeah I guess I have."

Tseng's face darkened for a second, giving me yet another damn heart attack that I'd said the wrong thing, but it just flickered across his face before his face softened into that goddamn strange look of affection, his arms tightened around my back, and he slowly... carefully started to push into me.

I'd been preparing myself for something... damn painful, I mean, my experience of this so far hadn't exactly been the most easy going step by step introduction. I had my eyes clenched shut and my teeth gritted in anticipation, remembering how painful it had been even that first time in his office. I was holding my breath, waiting for that exact same feeling to come back, as Tseng let most of his body weight rest on me, and his length slid slowly into my ass.

My breathing hitched, lights flashed behind my closed lids, and my hands slid posessively up Tseng's back as he took it easy on me, somehow staving off that lust of his and only taking me inch by inch, and you wanna know something? Something I hadn't expected? Something that surprised me so damn much, my eyes shot open in surprise? It felt good.

It felt fucking good.

"Mmmmm..." was the only thing Tseng said when my legs strangely started to curl up around his waist, and he was completely inside me.

"Could-n't have put...it bet-ter mysel-f boss." I panted stupidly, burying my face in his shoulder with a moan when he started to draw out again.

We settled into a rhythm like that, slow, but so fucking good. Tseng thrusting into me, and then slowly withdrawing, as I instinctively pushed back against his thrusts. Jesus, just to feel this guy inside me, to feel that smooth toned skin against mine was... mind blowingly unbelievable. I'm definitely no stranger to sex, and you could hardly say I hadn't done it this way before, after Rufus, but it felt like I was a damn virgin again. The sensations were crazily realistic, and the sound of Tseng's breathing and those low growling moans in my ear just made it feel all that much better. Goddamn, but I was moaning in pretty much a continuous fucking drone, sucking at Tseng's collarbone like a chew toy, so conveniently positioned under my mouth, as we followed a rhythm that could've been written for us it seemed so damn right.

"Shit." I moaned, mouth unclamping itself from Tseng's shoulder and my head automatically pushing against the cushion behind me as Tseng picked up the pace a little. Obviously he'd finally convinced himself I wasn't gonna shatter into a million pieces if he thrust a little harder.

Ah yeah, the most romantic thing ever to come outta my mouth. No poetry or flattery from stupid, under-educated Reno. 'Shit' was the best Tseng was gonna get outta me, but I was pretty sure he understood Renoish gibbering by now. Hopefully he understood that 'shit' translated as 'Jesus Christ Tseng! This feels so damn good, don't stop or I'm gonna go insane.'

He didn't stop, thank fuck, and our hands clawed at each others' sweating backs desperately, Tseng being careful to avoid the bandages and that godawful wound that was stinging like fuck as blood mingled with sweat. Not that I was particularly bothered, due to the slight distraction of the nearly painful throbbing in between my legs and a goddamn beautiful Wutaian Turk lying over me, staring at me lustfully through glazed eyes as he thrust into me at a slowly increasing rhythm.

Damn, well if that doesn't count as a distraction, I dont know what does.

As the pace sped up, Tseng started to thrust harder, jerking a moan out of me every damn time, and matching it with one of his own. Obviously he was getting as much pleasure out of this as me... or maybe not then, as at one point, Tseng hit my prostate. Hard.

I moaned something incredibly incomprehensible up at him, eyes clenched tight as white specs passed in front of them. Holy crap, and on the next thrust he hit it again harder and I shouted, clawing at the back of his neck and pulling him down into a wild kiss. Tseng didn't protest, only losing rhythm for a second as I desperately moaned into his mouth, starting to shiver from the exhertion of what we were doing. You know... looking back I kinda have to admit that, being in the state I was - both mentally and physically, this wasn't exactly the cleverest thing for us to have done, but if anybody thought I would've passed this up just for my fucking health, they'd have another thing coming.

We were speeding up pretty fast now, the moans both of us had been letting out turning into quiet grunts, and the occasional illiterate shout from me when Tseng hit my sensitive spot. The world was spinning, the blood was rushing through me so damn hard I was in danger of having a cardiac arrest, and we were both sweating so much, I'm surprised we both didn't just turn into a puddle of sweat on the couch. Tseng suddenly rested his forehead against mine as a hand trailed down from my back along my waist, and I opened my dazed eyes to see Tseng's hot brown ones right in front of me, staring at me with that goddamn heart stopping look of affection again. I had no idea what the hell it meant, and to be perfectly honest I didn't care. Affection is affection, right? And affection coming from Tseng? Thats gotta mean something pretty damn unique. The bit that got me though, was the way he whispered my name at me, and I shuddered just from the sound of it. Ah damn, I couldn't help saying his back at him. Fuck, I swear by the time this was over, I was gonna have turned into some fully-fledged asshole of a romantic. I mean Jesus Reno, you'd broken most of your rules for the guy already:

1)Never open up more than you need to

2)Never fall in love

3)Never risk your own neck for someone else

4)Never admit you need anyone or anything

I'd broken every single one of them on Tseng, so did it matter if I broke the last few I had and went into complete romantic mode? Did anybody apart from me really give a damn if I did? Besides, after all Tseng had done for me... after all the shit I'd landed him in, he deserved a little honesty.

So I cracked. Reno 'Midgar', employee number 74891, member of the Turks Special Operations A.K.A the Scumbag, Hardnuts of Shinra Inc, for once cracked, and stopped acting like an egocentric, vain, womanising, bigoted idiot, letting my body do what it wanted, including my voicebox, which decided the best way to go was to moan so loud I swear the whole of Midgar must've heard it, and occasionally shout Tseng's name whenever he hit my prostate. I was shaking so hard now, and the pace we were setting was fast and so damn needful. Neither of us could hold back any more, not even Tseng and his seemingly endless ream of defence mechanisms. The low, semi-controlled moans from earlier had just disappeared as he got close. What was coming from Tseng now was something I could hardly believe... something that actually sounded needful.

Tseng? Needful? In the same sentence? Well holy crap, can you believe it?

The hand slowly sliding down my waist suddenly headed in a different direction, and my damn eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as it grabbed hold of my leaking cock and began to stroke. Heh... another illiterate moan from me as Tseng increased the pace again with a grunt, and his hand pumped at me in time to the pace, still forehead-to-forehead with me though his eyes were closed now, obviously trying to find that something that would tip him over the edge. Damn, what had started out as slow and gentle had turned into a complete fucking frenzy... for both of us, me still moaning over and over like a demented parrot, hands scrabbling at his neck and back, legs wrapped tight round his waist and rocking into his touch, and Tseng moaning and grunting, pumping me hard and his other arm curled around my back, thrusting into me in some kind of trance as he searched for release, both of us completely lost in the feeling of what we were doing.

I have no idea wether Tseng knew he was doing it, or wether it was some kind of accident, but suddenly my back physically arched up and I shouted stupidly loud as he rammed against my prostate, and then just as I actually started breathing again, he did it again, and again. My lungs started to goddamn burn from the lack of oxygen in them as I held my breath against the feeling. Four times in a row he hit the damn thing, and by the end of it my lungs felt like they were burning out, and my body was ready to collapse. All I could see was white stars, and for a second I was prepared to swear I'd gone fucking blind. And then... he hit it again.

For a second all I could do was just shudder silently like I'd gone into shock or something. The burning in the bottom of my stomach began to grow. My cock twitched under Tseng's still pumping hand, and then somehow knowing I was so close, Tseng slid his thumb over my slit.

Damn, well those white stars were becoming pretty familiar to me by now, as they appeared under my squeezed shut lids and my hips started to jerk. I was clutching to Tseng's back so damn hard by now, I'm sure it must've left bruises, and then I shouted his name as at goddamn last I finally came, my load filling the space between me and Tseng as I continued to jerk at the orgasm I'd waited two whole years to get to.

Jesus Christ, as good as my sex life has been, nothing compared to this. Nothing had ever made me feel this goddamn satisfied, and trust me: over the years I've tried nearly every tecnique in the book, baby.

I clutched to Tseng like a weird, four legged spider as it finally ended, and felt as Tseng still pounded into me, the look on that normally stoic face of his screwed up tight, telling me he was so close it was painful. He only lasted a few seconds more than me, and then he braced himself, head on my shoulder and started to jerk and shudder, moaning my name, looking so damn beautiful I swear I could've been ready to start over again. That was, if my body didn't suddenly feel like it'd been run over several times by a herd of crazed stampeding chocobos.

Correction: A herd of crazed stampeding chocobos... wearing steel-capped army boots.

I felt as the last of Tseng's load coated my walls with warmth, and then both me and Tseng clung to each other for a second, our heads spinning, completely fucked up by the force of the orgasm.

Damn, if that wasn't the best sex I've ever had then I must be more screwed in the head than I thought. I couldn't speak, could barely think, I could swear what we'd just done had impaired my vision for life, and my lungs were painfully sore as I panted into them, shivering like hell as my muscles decided wether or not they were still going to work. Eventually they gave up the strain, and I sank back onto the couch, unwrapping my legs from around Tseng's waist and turning into a lump of inanimate, fucked up Reno-shaped skin and bones. Christ, I couldn't move a muscle, and I don't think Tseng was far off my state either. I could feel him shivering under my fingers, and when I collapsed he followed me down, resting on top of me tiredly, his head still buried into my shoulder so that all I could see was that damn gorgeous hair resting on his shoulders and my chest.

You ever get those times where, no matter how fucked up your head seems to be, no matter what stupid, meaningless shit you've been worrying about that you thought was the be-all and end-all of your crummy little, whiskey-and-cigarette toting, life, you suddenly don't give a fuck anymore, and you're actually, honest-to-God happy? Well this was mine. Rufus and his mind fuck didn't matter to me right now, it was over. Yes, what had happened made me shudder, and the images in my head made me sick to my goddamn stomach, but... I no longer felt like I deserved to be treated like that. I didn't feel like worthless scum anymore. Nothing could touch me. Not a damn thing, and I had Tseng to thank for that.

Ah damn, I think my body was about to just give up and die on me: My muscles felt like I'd have to have a years worth of physiotherapy before I could move again, my lungs were burning, the wound in my back was stinging, and I still couldn't see a damn thing properly, but listen to this:

I. Didn't. Give. A. Fuck.

Rufus could never lay a finger on me again, Don Corneo was down in sector 6 cradling his scorched balls and cowering, scared shitless that I was gonna come back feed him his own equipment, and me and Tseng had just fucked each other senseless. Damn it felt like my luck had flipped 180 in the last day. What the hell did I do to deserve this? Don't ask me, as far as I could see I'd been just as much a pretentious asshole this past day as I ever was. Maybe whatever weird deity presided over my life had finally got bored fucking with my mind.

I just couldn't help but sigh in relief, dammit. 'Jesus Reno, you're turning into more of an old woman with every minute. Get a grip'

Eventually Tseng stopped panting and moved, sliding out of me slowly with a groan, trying to spare me any pain, and planting a kiss on my neck before he looked me in the eye. Me? I was still panting like a goddamn asthmatic dog from the aftershock when Tseng brushed my sweat-slicked bangs of hair out of my eyes carefully. There was sweat dripping down his face, and he looked about as exhausted as I felt, but somehow still managed to pull off that over-serious look he sometimes gets. Where he found the strength from for that, I dont know, but that wasn't what bothered me. What bothered me was what the hell that look was saying...

Jesus if it were anyone but Tseng, I'd say that was guilt in his face right about now.

"Reno..." he said, unbelievably finding the strength to speak. His hand curled around the back of my neck as he stared at me darkly. "...you ok?"

Ahuh, and that was definitely guilt there. Well... I probably looked like fuck right now, and he was probably wondering if he'd pushed me too hard. I mean both of us had been working on instinct, and I had a feeling Tseng had been going faster and pushing harder than he'd been intending to. He was probably feeling guilty that he'd let himself go, as usual being way too responsible for his own good.

I opened my mouth to speak, realised I didn't remember how to, and then decided it would be easier to kiss him in response. Somehow finding the strength to wrap my hands around his neck and draw him towards me. Damn, but just being able to do that, without him tensing up and pushing me away like scum, some stoic disgusted glare on his face, was so damn incredible. Tseng's hand caressed the back of my neck as we kissed, slowly. There was no urgency in what we were doing, so why rush? If it were up to me, I would've stayed like that all night, but eventually Tseng had to spoil it and draw away, but he held on to my bottom lip for a second before he did. Damn, how could this guy hide so much passion behind a goddamn blue suit? It was ridiculous.

I couldn't help but smile lopsidedly when Tseng's face curled up into a smirk, and he started that trademark purr he passed off as a laugh as he brushed my loose red hair over my shoulder.

"Mmmm?"

Tseng licked his lips for a second before he murmured back.

"You know... I think this is the first time I've ever been able to shut you up."

I just smiled.

"You know... what to do... next time then, don't you?" I somehow managed to mumble back and then raised an eyebrow suggestively. For once after so much shit I actually felt... goddamn happy. Happy enough to make a Renoistic joke anyway, and I think we've already established here that I have a one track mind when it comes to Tseng. Tseng narrowed his eyes suspiciously and tugged at my hair chidingly.

"Nice try Reno." He said, seeing the joke and actually smirking at it, still caressing the back of my neck. "Anyway, I don't think Rude would appreciate it too much..." he teased, raising an eyebrow and kissing me again for a second, before he rolled over and lay lengthwise along the couch, still with that smirk attatched to his face "...that is, unless you'd prefer him to get involved?"

Okay, and I've just realised what a sick sense of humour Tseng has. I swear if I weren't too tired I would've thrown up. A threesome with Rude? Oh great, now I'm gonna have nightmares. Thanks a bunch, Tseng.

I pulled a face at him that said 'that's beyond disgusting', which he seemed to find amusing for some reason, and then I just sort've... collapsed on top of him with my head on his chest. If Tseng thought he was leaving any time soon, he was goddamn mistaken. I was too damn comfortable, the asshole would have to drag me off him first. Damn, forget whiskey, forget cigarettes, forget that freaky godawful Mako shit up in the hospital wing, just let me get frisky with Tseng every night and I'd be a happy guy... A goddamn exhausted guy, but happy as hell.

"Nah... I don't think Rude'd be able to keep up." I said, mockingly pretending to consider it. "Besides," I carried on, crawling painfully up his chest until my head was resting under his chin, "I think Tseng's company."

Tseng tensed for a minute, and I felt more than saw something like unease go through him. For a second I thought he was getting ready to sit up, but he didn't. In the end he just sighed and relaxed again, putting a hand on my neck resignedly.

"Reno?"

"Mmm?"

"Shut up for once in your life?"

I closed my eyes and felt a smirk creeping across my face. Now there's the Tseng I knew. It was kind of weird that it actually made me feel good to hear him insult me, but what the hell? That was just Tseng I guess.

"You got it boss." I mumbled, and lay there with an honest-to-God, genuine smile on my face as I fell asleep.

After an entire week of shit, after an entire week of slowly losing my mind, feeling like scum, being... goddamn it, being used. After an entire week of feeling so low I was close to cracking and jumping out of a fucking window somewhere...

At last something... was finally going right for me.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

It's one of life's utter damn cruelties.

Up there with the hangover, up there with that stupid unspoken law that the hottest chicks are always the ones with the most fuck-ugly boyfriends, up there with that thing some people seem to insist... that being a Turk means you have to be sober...

How come my damn body always decides I need to take a leak in the middle of the night?

I moaned miserably back into consciousness, all too aware that every muscle in my puny little body was complaining like fuck. Holy crap, even muscles in places I didn't even know I had muscles were aching, and I moaned again louder as I tried to sit up to stretch and go relieve my damn bladder. Man I hate my body, it always knows how to make me feel uncomfortable, and it loves doing things that disturb my sleep, which sucks, because sleeping is my third favourite thing.

I grunted incoherently when my muscles started to shake, before finally collapsing under me and I fell flat back against the couch, stubbornly refusing to open my eyes to meet that annoying greenish glow that came from the goddamn Shinra reactor not 3 blocks away from my apartment.

Damn, no wonder this neighbourhood was so cheap to rent. Highest fatality rate in Midgar, apartments small enough for a claustraphobic guy to pitch a fit, stench from the sewers that made it feel like you were downing a pint of sewage every time you breathed in, and a goddamn stupid nightime glow of green that made it look like someone had gone around my place sneezing radioactive phlegm all over my fucking furniture. I would get a better place... if I could afford it, but a hired hitman's wages aren't exactly great, and for scum like me this is as good as it gets. This place did have its redeeming features though - mostly the fact that it was within staggering distance of a pretty cheap bar, so I wasn't complaining. What I was complaining about - and pretty damn badly - was the fact that my muscles ached, my head was pounding, my goddamn bladder was full to bursting, and the whole of my lower back felt like someone had held a flamethrower to it for an hour. Damn I felt messed up... what the hell had I been doing last night? I honestly couldn't remember, that goddamn hangover of mine was too heavy for me to think straight. Damn alcohol, sometimes I actually do regret that dependency of mine. I screwed my face up in the utter strain of trying to remember...

'Come on Reno, one step at a time, get that half a brain of yours into forward gear.'

I gulped silently as I slowly remembered, waking up in the Don's mansion this morning, ready to die, Rude saving us, being in the hospital wing, discharging myself and heading up to my office... then Rufus came in and...

For a second I just froze where I was as I remembered that name, images from the scene flickering slowly into my tired brain as I lie there, my stomach about ready to bring up the last thing I had to eat and add it in a neat little pile to my carpet. Rufus Shinra... Had Rufus done this to me, the sick little fuck? Then why the hell was I collapsed on my couch in my goddamn apartment and not in my office? Rufus wouldn't have followed me home or something, would he? I wouldn't put it past him, and as the images continued to flash in my brain, I began wondering, if I opened my eyes and looked around, wether I'd see that evil bastard, standing over me with those cold, sadistic blue eyes looking me over at what he'd done...

No. I shook the thought out of my head as quick as I could. If Rufus had done it, you'd be in a hell of a lot more pain than you are now, Reno. He didn't do this to you, he couldn't have done...

Then who the hell did?

I concentrated and tried to remember further than that, and trust me, for a guy like me, even when I'm not fucked up and hungover, concentration's a pretty damn hard thing to achieve, and it was hurting my tired little brain like hell. Come on Reno think... Rufus didn't even get that far. You were rescued before things could go that far. Tseng came in and...

I blinked slowly as the word clicked into place in my head.

... Tseng?

... Jesus Christ... Tseng!

My breathing hitched and my eyes finally shot open as I remembered the rest of the night, what had happened after that, Tseng's skin on mine... Tseng's lips on mine... Tseng's fucking gorgeous body on top of mine, ah Jesus, moving on top of mine...

Holy fuck, I think my brain just crashed.

I just lay there for a second, paralysed in shock as it all flooded back to me, a lazy smile starting to creep across my tired face as I stared around the dim green glowing room, wild eyed as it slowly sank in, my smoke and alcohol choked heart barely managing to keep beating.

Tseng... was here. Tseng, that stoic son of a bitch, that damn sadistic, coldass boss of mine, had spent the night with me, Jesus Christ had actually opened up to me, unless my head was more fucked than I thought and making shit up. At goddamn last that stupid, cold barrier of his had come crashing down and I'd been allowed past it. No more feeling like scum under his glare. No more having to hide the fact I found him so goddamn gorgeous. Damn, I was on a high just at the thought of it.

Tseng, head of the Turks, had moaned my name at me, and damn, did it feel good to know he didn't just think of me as some puss-filled zit on the face of humanity any more. I closed my eyes again with a sigh - of relief I guess - and reached up to wrap a hand tiredly in Tseng's long, fucking gorgeous black hair, not for any reason in particular, but just because I was allowed to...

... and felt the material of the couch underneath my empty fingers.

I stopped, almost making sure my senses were actually working properly before I frowned confusedly and felt around, as though Tseng was just something I'd misplaced or something, but all I felt under my fingers was the rough material of my crappy, worn old sofa. I felt my stomach suddenly churn up in knots as I opened my eyes and looked down at the couch beneath me. I swear I actually stopped breathing when I saw what I'd been fucking dreading...

The sofa was empty.

Tseng wasn't here.

I sat up slowly, damn confused I tried to figure out what the hell had happened. Sure my bladder was complaining, but there were way more important things for me to be thinking about than taking a leak. For instance, wondering where the hell Tseng was. I rubbed my eyes and stared around my dim green glowing living room, as if expecting him to be standing there with an amused smirk, waiting for me to wake up. Heh... me and my wishful thinking. He wasn't there, not that I'd expected him to be. I had one horrible feeling welling up in my stomach, but I pushed it back down and tried to think. Ah fuck, you can't tell me that whole damn experience had been a sadisticly wishful dream? If it was, then it had been a goddamn realistic one, though I wouldn't put it past my psyche to do that to me. After all the times its fucked me over this past week, I've finally come to the conclusion that my brain hates me... more than hates me, detestes me. I think it likes seeing me in pain, at least that'd explain some of the ways it acts, and thinking about it, it sure as hell hated me enough to make me dream about Tseng like that, probably just to get my hopes up. Jesus I was almost close to believing it: that pile of Tseng's clothes and mine were gone from where they'd been on the floor, the tube of lube and the roll of bandages weren't where Tseng had left them on my coffee table, when he'd come in and leaned over me... and there was a half empty bottle on the floor next to me. Fuck, maybe none of this had happened at all... maybe I'd just got outta Tseng's damn car, drank myself into a stuper and collapsed onto the couch naked. Hey, it wasn't impossible, it'd happened before. It sure as hell wasn't unusual for me to stagger around the place naked for a few hours, whiskey and cigarettes in tow, hallucinate and then pass out somewhere.

I brushed a hand through my matted, drooping hair as I sat there, confused out of my mind. I was about ready to believe it had actually been a dream, just my psyche having a little more sadistic fun, until I noticed the suspicious looking stain on the couch beside me, right where Tseng and me had been earlier on, moaning at each other desperately, wrapping our damn arms around each other desperately as we both frantically searched for release.

I stared at it, blinking stupidly as it sank in what that stain was. The last bit of evidence that Tseng was even here last night, but it was enough to crush my dream theory.

Ok... so not a dream then, at least that was one good thing. But why in the hell wasn't Tseng here? I'd fallen asleep with my head on his chest, and I'm not exactly a heavy sleeper, so how in hell did Tseng sneak out from under me? God, he must've put a lot of effort into not waking me. What kind of a guy gets up in the middle of the night without waking the guy he slept with, clears up all the evidence he was even there, and then leaves?

I gulped and felt my overworked heart sink back down to the floor as I realised the answer. Shit Reno, it was such a simple answer, but an answer I really didn't want to admit to myself. Before I'd realised it, I'd picked up that half drank bottle of... whatever the hell it was at my feet, and was pouring it down my throat to cushion the godawful realisation that was going through me right now.

What kind of guy does that? The kind of guy that doesn't want to be there, thats who.

The kind of guy who regrets it.

So what the hell was last night? A sympathy fuck? Tseng felt fucking sorry for me after all the shit I'd had with Rufus, and decided to give me something to shut me up? 'Poor useless, weak, pathetic Reno, screwed over by Rufus'? Oh crap, there was no way I could live with myself if that was what the hell had happened.

No. I shook my head in the dark and rubbed my eyes again. I was pretty sure Tseng wasn't like that. I mean, the guy had opened up to me, told me things from his past you don't tell somebody you're only after for one night... unless...

"Holy crap Reno no..." I whispered to myself, balancing that life-giving bottle of alcohol against my lips as I thought.

The Trust Game.

Every self respecting player knew how to work that magic on a conquest, every bachelor from here to Rocket Town knew how to do it: you take a naive girl, spin her some crap about a terrible childhood, something awful that happened to you when you were a kid, or some sad, sickly sweet story about yourself, and you tell them just to get a little trust. A little trust is enough, enough to get what you wanted anyway, and then you take it and hit the road.'Seyonora sucker, see ya later babe.' Simple as that. Me? I'm a natural when it comes to the trust game, I practically wrote the rules for the goddamn thing, but what if Tseng... had turned the tables on me?

What if Tseng had just pulled the same stunt on me? Fuck, what if Tseng had just played the trust game on me? I tried to drown out the idea with another swig of... whiskey I'm pretty sure this was, but the more I thought about it, the more it made a horrible kinda sense.

The guy had left in the middle of the night. Who else does shit like that, Reno? Me. Who else clears up anything to show they even existed? Me.

Oh crap, who else can turn affection on like a tap to get what they want? Me.

What if Tseng didn't mean any of that shit he'd said? He was a Turk, after all -a damn good one, and it was totally possible. A shiver ran down my spine as I thought about it. The whole situation with me and Tseng: this morning when we'd been waiting to die and I'd opened up to him. For once in my life I'd actually spoken about my screwed up past, and he'd seemed so damn understanding, but under it all, maybe he really was a cold son of a bitch, and he'd suckered me into believing he wasn't... and like some stupid naive little virgin girl, I'd laid back and let myself get screwed over... again.

But then, why in the hell had he tried to help me earlier? He'd beaten the crap out of Rufus goddamn Shinra to help me out. He'd put his life in danger to stop my head being screwed around with. Why the hell would he have done that?

It didn't make any kind of sense. Even a twisted kind of sense would've been good, but I didn't understand a damn thing.

... Unless Tseng had woken up, and regretted it.

I could just imagine it now: Tseng waking up, staring at the ceiling wondering where the hell he was, and then looking down to see a Reno-shaped lump sprawled all over him. Ah shit, he probably panicked, realised what the hell he'd just done, and slipped away, regretting it all the damn way home.

I physically flinched at the idea and stared around the empty room as the sickness in my stomach started to spread to the rest of my body as it sank in, and I came out with the only thing that could've completely summed up the situation:

"...shit."

I finally got up from the couch, my muscles still aching from the exhertion of what I'd been doing last night, a look on my face that was a twisted mix of confusion and pain as I downed the last of the burning liquor in the bottle and dropped it back on the floor as I staggered tiredly to the bathroom. I wasn't about to go back to sleep was I? So I may as well do some damn thing.

I think I was hoping, in some half-assed way, that there was some reasonable explaination for Tseng not being here, but I really couldn't think of one. He'd up and left in the middle of the goddamn night. Jesus... what kind of explaination was there for that?

I blinked tiredly as I turned on the bathroom light, half blinding me, and I figured out my plan for the rest of the night: I was gonna relieve my bladder at last, and then I was going to do what I'd been planning on before Tseng had turned up: crawl into a cloud of smoke and booze to block out the confusion, and the godawful images in my head that for a while earlier, I thought had actually disappeared.

Yeah, sounded like a damn good plan to me. One of the best plans this fucked up Turk has ever come up with.

The worst thing about this situation was that my wishful thinking, stupid brain just wasn't accepting it. I was coming up with any flimsy excuse I could think of why Tseng wouldn't have stayed, and I felt so goddamn pathetic and useless as I made my way from the bathroom to that crappy kitchenette of mine it was unbelievable. I hated this, all of it. I felt sick to my stomach, by now beginning to realise the reason he was gone was probably regret. So what would happen once these three weeks was over and I had to go back to work? Would he just ignore me, or pretend none of this shit happened? Jesus christ I hoped not, or I was gonna go goddamn insane. Would he even let me talk it through with him? Probably not. I know Tseng too damn well. Once he decides on something he sticks to it. 'Don't be ridiculous, Reno.' He'd snarl at me, giving me that look that just screamed 'you're scum', and then he'd walk away. So this thing was pretty much screwed. I looked at the clock, clicking loudly up on my wall.

2.24am

So the relationship with the only person I'd ever actually felt anything more than lust for, had lasted about 20 hours.

I moaned incoherently, blocking out those thoughts as best I could as I staggered through the doorway, my muscles spasming on me as I headed instinctively to the drinks cabinet and pulled out a bottle at random. Hell, it didn't matter what the drink was, as long as it got me stone drunk. Hey, maybe I'd even lose my short term memory this time? It hadn't worked last time, but damn, it was worth a shot... wasn't it?

I ripped the top off with my teeth, spat it on the floor and stood there in my kitchen, completely naked and shuddering through muscle spasm and probably nerves, pouring some random alcohol I couldn't quite make out down my throat in huge gulps, determined to get rid of this fucking sick feeling in my stomach. Hopefully, with any luck I'd be unconscious within the hour, then I wouldn't have to worry about a damn thing until I woke up.

Sure, so I'd have one hell of a hangover, but I really didn't give a damn right now. I could call myself a stupid asshole when I woke up, but right now? Holy crap, if I didn't get drunk, then god knows what my poor tired brain was going to do. Call me stupid for resorting to drink if you like, but to be honest, you can shove those opinions where the Sun don't shine. It was stupider of me not to reach for the whiskey. At least if I was outta my head on alcohol, my brain would be too wrecked for me to carry on thinking about this shit.

Well, it was better than thinking about the things in my head anyway, thinking about what a complete screw up my life had become over the last 9 days:

Rufus fucking Shinra had treated me like a personal sex toy, enjoying seeing me squirm in pain under his cold damn fingers, I'd been forced to face Don Corneo and his cronies after mentally blocking that shit out of my psyche for years, I'd nearly been goddamn killed, and just to add to the huge pile of crap that was my life right now, the one guy I actually felt something for, the one guy in my crummy little life that I'd trusted, hadn't even bothered to stay the night out.

I had to face it: my life was a complete screw up. Yeah, it was a screw up before, but even more so over these past 9 days. If it was a screw up two weeks ago, it was a super screw up now. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 'Reno's a fuck up' show. Take your seats, and point and laugh when you're ready.

"Just when you think you're doing fine, along comes a shit pile and lands right on top of you." I mumbled to myself sharply, swilling the drink around the bottle and staring at it miserably, as if it was going to tell me the answers. Believe it or not, it didn't answer, and I decided it was better to actually drink the stuff than stare at it. I threw my head back, shaking the hair outta my eyes and staring at the cracked, darkened ceiling as I poured the crap down my throat.

And then stopped suddenly when I noticed a shadow move in the corner of my eye.

I lowered the bottle back down slowly as I watched the shadowed figure standing in the corner of my kitchenette next to the coffee machine, a figure that I hadn't seen as I came in, due to the fact my mind was so stupidly intent on getting to the booze. My legs nearly gave way underneath me, the bottle nearly fell from my hands and my heart nearly pitched a fit as I tried to focus and make out its shape. I watched the silhouette raise a coffee cup to his mouth calmly and take a slow sip, watching me from over the rim of the cup with dark, concerned eyes, the dim green light catching them and making them stand out from that droolworthy, perfect Wutaian face.

I gulped down the remaining alcohol in my mouth, a stupidly confused look on my face and licked my lips nervously before I even dared to speak. I blinked slowly and sighed, suddenly feeling like such a complete moron under the scrutiny of those damn gorgeous, way too perceptive eyes.

Those eyes, that in true Reno dumb assedness, I so stupidly thought had fucked me over.

"Reno?" Came a voice from that corner, calm, precise, as usual, but holy crap, it was enough to calm me down. My shoulders stopped hunching, I stopped shaking, and like the king kiss ass I am, I sighed as my heart began to beat at a regular pace again.

"Tseng..." I sighed, my voice cracking a little in relief, and somehow, my brain started to grip a little firmer to reality.

Thank fuck, so I wasn't alone after all.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Tseng took another slow, silent sip from that coffee cup, staring at me over the rim of it calmly, with a look that made it feel like he was inspecting me, standing there totally naked with a bottle in my hand, probably looking more than half-dead in the low green glow streaming through the window and lighting my face enough for anyone with half a brain to see the relief in it. I stood there, paralysed, completely unable to speak as it finally hit me that Tseng, standing in the corner, was actually real, and not just another goddamn illusion. Like a dick, I couldn't do much more than watch as Tseng looked me over, those eyes that earlier had been completely overrun with lust were back to their old icy, fucking unreadable indifference as he blinked at me. For a second it was completely silent as we watched each other. Maybe he was waiting for me to say something, but even if my mouth had been in the right capacity to speak, I doubt I would've been able to find anything to say. I was just so goddamn relieved he hadn't up and left, even if this silence was suddenly driving me a little crazy, but I could live with that. He was still here. Tseng hadn't just took what he wanted and left like I'd been so damn scared of, and in my brain that was a damnably good thing.

The silence lasted a few more seconds, before Tseng let out a quiet sigh and turned back towards my coffee machine silently. Well, Tseng had sure found his way around my damn kitchen quick, hadn't he? I wondered how long he'd actually been standing in here, draining my apartment of its coffee supply. An hour? Two hours? Who knows how long he'd been awake... maybe he hadn't gone to sleep at all. He was fully clothed again now though, heh... more's the pity, and somehow, despite his Turk uniform being just thrown on the floor last night in a complete frenzy, it still seemed so insanely crease free, like he'd ironed the damn thing before he'd put it back on or something. Damn, I felt my heart begin to sink slowly back into shit again as he turned his back. He looked like cold, hard, Tseng of the Turks again, completely pristene, crease-free, fucking untouchable, especially to underling scum like me, and he wasn't speaking. I gulped silently as he poured himself another cup, the only sound breaking this suddenly awkward silence was coffee being poured slowly into that cup. I frowned and instinctively took another gulp from the bottle in my hand, not exactly sure what the hell was going on in Tseng's goddamn annoyingly obscure mind. Tseng and his fucking awful mood changes were geting to me now, I couldn't work him out at all. He was still here, sure, but he was as good as ignoring me, as if nothing had happened, as if I was still 'Reno, the scumbag' to him. Damn my mind for making me fall in love with such a confusing bastard! Couldn't I have fallen for someone dumb like... Rude? Ah geez Reno, why couldn't you have just stuck to quick fucks with waitresses rather than getting involved with such a strange son of a bitch? I'll tell you why: because you're a stupid asshole, that's why.

"Coffee?" Came Tseng's low, rumbling Wutaian accent, finally breaking the silence, though he didn't turn back to look at me.

I frowned stupidly for a second before replying, and I have to say, my reply must have been the most suave thing I have ever actually said.

"Huh?" I mumbled, like the dumbass I am, and wiped a hand across my eyes tiredly.

There was another pause. Another goddamn long pause, and I stared at Tseng's back intently as he shifted in the dark. Damn, was it really that much of a thing to ask for him to speak to me? Even when we'd been on purely employee/employer grounds, he hadn't simply ignored me. Ah damn, call me a sucker, because I just wanted to hear him speak to me, even if it was a fucking insult! Anything was better than him just goddamn ignoring me as though I didn't exist.

"...I said," he carried on suddenly, my heart sinking even further so it felt like it was scraping the floor at the unsentimental tone of his voice, "do you want some coffee?"

I shook my head instinctively, for a second being just too goddamn stupid to realise he couldn't see it with his back turned. Tseng stared out of my kitchenette window silently and calmly as he waited for a reply. How the fuck could that guy be so goddamn calm? Was he even human? Christ did he even remember any of the shit from yesterday? I frowned harder and clamped my jaw, that nervous shake coming back to my muscles as I wondered what the hell Tseng was thinking behind that stubborn facade of his. In the space of a day, he'd changed his damn attitude towards me so many times I wasn't even sure wether he was exactly mentally stable any more. I was so fucking confused! I was beginning to wonder wether it would've been better if he'd actually got up in the night and left, at least then I knew what to make of him, but nope, he'd stayed and yet again he'd surprised me with a new level of twisted fucking insanity. Even though we'd screwed in a total frenzy only a few hours ago, even though he knew damn well how much I wanted him, he was treating me as though nothing had happened.

I felt like screaming at the bastard, telling him to stop being such a heartless fucking prick, but I knew that wouldn't get me anywhere with Tseng. He was used to being shouted at, it was part of the job, working under a short tempered asshole like Heidigger, and he'd just shrug it off and tell me to get a grip. But oh fuck, I dont have much patience in this bloodthirsty little head of mine, and I wanted so goddamn badly to just flip, but I just... ached too much to even try, and even if he is a confusing son of a bitch, I was still too much of a sucker for him to be quite ready to lay into him like that.

Heh... Just call me Reno: the head of the Turks' very own fucking lapdog.

I finally pulled back a little self control by gripping at the bottle in my hand hard, and I forced myself to speak.

"No thanks I think I'll stick to this." I said, waving the bottle in the air as Tseng glanced over his shoulder, probably just as shocked as me by the bitter undertone that had come out in my voice. Shit, it hadn't meant to sound that harsh, it just came out, and Tseng turned back to the window with narrowed eyes as I showed him what I meant, by throwing my head back again and pouring some more burning liquid into my mouth. I heard Tseng sigh disapprovingly as I half fell back against the cupboard, eyes closed and the lip of the bottle up against my still bruised lips. I'm not quite sure what the hell I was thinking at this point, I think I was on the verge of cracking up, and I just couldn't be bothered with bidding for Tseng's approval, if he was just gonna throw everything back in my face like this. To tell the truth, I was just so anxious he was regretting it. Damn, but all I'd wanted was a little fucking reassurance. That was the least Tseng could do. Just a simple 'I like you' would do. Jesus Christ, in this state, I was even prepared to accept 'I had a great time, but you're not my type'. Just something... anything to tell me what he was thinking.

"I dont think you should be drinking in your state."

I laughed coldly.

"Yeah well... I've never been too good at doing things that are good for me have I?"

"You could do yourself some serious damage Reno."

Now... here's an odd thing, I could swear I actually heard concern seep through in that last sentence of his. My eyes flickered open when he said my name, to see Tseng, finally goddamn facing me, the look in his eyes could've been bordering on concern. My heart goddamn flickered again just at the sight of it. Damn, my head must be so screwed up: one minute I'm ready to strangle this coldass son of a bitch, and then just one change in his expression and I turn into a complete ass kisser. Fuck, what the hell's wrong with my psyche? I swear, if I got through this night alive, I was seriously considering getting my head examined.

I stared at him for a second, not even bothering to blink as those damn gorgeous Wutaian eyes played their old trick on me and made me just melt into a pile of Reno jello. Eventually I sighed, pushed myself unsteadily back onto my own two feet, and put the bottle down on the cupboard, still staring at Tseng's dimly lit figure the whole time. Damn him, even when I was fucked up this bad, he could still curl me around his little finger.

Tseng looked me over once, as if judging me or some goddamn thing, nodded concisely and then turned back to the window, staring out wordlessly at the crummy street at the back of my apartment, as if there was something really important out there that he had to watch.

I licked my lips nervously as the damn room went back into silence. Trust me, silence bothers me to hell. Even a normal every day silence and I'll feel like I have to talk over it, more often than not about random shit, but hey in my opinion random shit is better than silence, which is why being friends with Rude is generally one hell of a pain in the ass for me. The guy never goddamn speaks, so I end up filling all the time he doesn't speak with utter nonsensical crap that, looking back later, even I dont understand. Sometimes I wonder wether Rude thinks I'm completely outta my damn tree with all the crap I talk, but that's not the point I'm trying for here. The point I'm trying to make is that if normal silences, friendly every day silences, bug the hell out of me, then this silence, this damn awful, virtually fucking painful silence right here was enough to drive me insane. I hate silence. I really damn hate it, I'd rather turn goddamn celebate than be forced into any more awkward silences, so figuring I had pretty much nothing to lose, I decided I was gonna ask him 'The Question', my heart starting to pulse dangerously close to heart attack speeds even before I opened my mouth.

"Tseng?" I forced out, cringing at the sound of how stupidly fucking whiny my voice was. Tseng shifted uneasily at the sound of my voice, but his gaze out of that window didn't even budge.

"Reno?" He said lowly, narrowing his eyes and frowning. I gulped silently, forcing the next words up through my throat so difficultly that It was goddamn painful. Now this question was a real damn pride-killer, but goddamn it, I just needed the answer so fucking badly I didn't care much about my pride right now. And damn, for me that's pretty desperate. Over 50% of my personality is pride.

'Come on Reno, say it. What have you got to lose?'

"Why the hell did you come back here last night?" I demanded. Damn... I hope Tseng didn't hear the crack in my voice just now, or it would've sounded so very fucking pathetic.

Tseng just stood there, stone still like a fucking statue, probably trying to let what I'd just said actually sink in. Heh, he probably never expected me to be so blunt, and hell, but I didn't either: both as a Turk and as a womanising asshole, its generally my expertise to twist the truth, lie, do any goddamn thing to hide reality from the suckers I'm duping over, and here I was, asking for the truth. Geez... can you say 'ironic'?

I stood there holding my breath for what seemed like an eternity, just waiting for an answer from that confusing son of a bitch. The answer didn't come. Tseng just stood there, smooth as ever, taking sips of his coffee as he stared harder out the window, pretending he hadn't heard me.

'Great... and now I'm non-existent to the bastard.'

"Tseng!" Well, either Tseng desperately needed his ears cleaning out, or he was definitely trying his best to ignore every word I said, because instead of even acknowledging I was there, he turned back to the coffee machine to pour yet another cup. Damn! At this point, I'm pretty sure a sane person would've crawled back inside their shell and accepted the fact that Tseng didn't want anything to do with them any more, other than as degenerate scum, but damn, I wasn't about to let Tseng beat me back another time, especially after all the shit yesterday.

Even the most laid back guy has his trigger, his limit, and though generally I'm about as laid back as they come, I'd had nine whole days of being shit on by someone or other, wether it was that sick little vice-president, Don Corneo and his cronies, or even this gorgeous... but confusingly changeable asshole here, and I guess I'd just had enough. My trigger had well and truly been pressed. That limit of mine was about ready to burst. Maybe the whiskey gave me a little courage, but I just remember knowing I sure as hell wasn't about to let Tseng get his way and ignore me into silence this time. He could kick my puny ass for standing up to him if he wanted, but one way or another, I was gonna get my answer. Finding some kind of strength from fuck-knows-where, I frowned, gritted my teeth, and went over, slamming a hand down on the coffee cup in his hands, causing it to crash to the floor at Tseng's feet.

This is the point where, had I been in a normal state of mind, I would've been running for cover right now, but I wasn't in a normal state of mind, and even when Tseng's death threat of a glare met with mine, it just didn't affect me. I was way too fucking fed up with my shit luck to back down again. I'd been shit on by the world for nine whole fucking days, and I wasn't about to be shit on again. Did Tseng even care? I was damn determined to find out, right now.

No more fucking with my head.

"Gimme an answer Tseng!"

Tseng just looked at me with that dangerous glare, trying to intimidate me into shutting the hell up.

"Don't even -"

"Jesus Christ, is it that hard a question for you?" My voice was cracking, I was all too aware that my eyes were starting to sting, and sooner or later tears were going to start forming, but I didn't give a shit. He'd seen me cry before and I didn't give a fuck if he saw it again. There was a pause, a long, forboding pause.

"I'll assume from your breath that it's the alcohol talking," he snapped, "which is why I'm not about to put you on charge. But I warn you Reno - "

"Oh come on don't try to pass this off as corperate crap!" I snapped, out on a complete trip. I think my overworked brain had finally had enough. I glared at him seriously, not giving a damn about his expression right now. I was just too far gone to back off. "Tseng, I've taken more shit this week than any normal guy would've put up with in a fucking lifetime, and I've had enough! I'm not about to lay back and take you treating me like I'm fucking non existent in my own goddamn apartment. You don't just come in, screw someone then blank them like they're fucking scum, even if they are! Jesus Christ even I don't sink that goddamn low. You can do that shit to me at work, but not here. You can't play the political bullshit on me out here..." by now I was actually nearly whispering. I'd started off angry but now I was just so dog tired and pissed off, "...I just want a little fucking respect. Answer the goddamn question."

I slouched back against the wall miserably, watching Tseng's dark face for anything that could indicate he cared even slightly about what I'd just said. He stared at me blankly, not even moving a damn muscle, then he calmly looked my face over and turned back to stare out of the kitchen window, up at the green-glowing reactor looming up overhead, and for a moment I completely fucking despaired... I couldn't help but just frown.

Damn Tseng and his screwed up head. I guess this meant, despite everything that had happened, he really didn't give a shit anymore.

I opened my mouth to speak, couldn't think of a damn thing to say, then just grabbed the bottle I'd put down on the cabinet and went to walk away. I mean, what the fuck was there to say? May as well just resign myself back to the title of 'womanising, scum-sucking son of a bitch' and leave my boss to it.

'Fuck Tseng then, a bottle is as good as him anyday.' I lied to myself.

"Personal relationships get in the way of this business Reno." He said flatly, and then shut up again.

I turned back as something struck me. Dont ask me what the fuck it was about those words but hell, this brain must've latched onto something, because before I knew it, the cogs in this tired old scrapheap of a brain were screeching into life.

Holy shit...

Something finally clicked.

"Fuck... you're scared, aint you?" I said, not bothering to hide the wonder in my voice.

Tseng just carried on looking up blankly at the Mako reactor, that stupid goddamn indifference on his face, but something just told me I was right.

"That's it, ain't it? You're fucking scared."

"You watch your mouth." came the reply, still not moving.

... Bingo.

For a few seconds I just stood there, looking at his face. He was thinking. Tseng gets this look when he's thinking, I've noticed. A kind've glazed over, distant look - kind of like me when I'm dazed, but damn he pulls the look off ten times better, because of that perfect Wutaian face, which at the moment, was completely in thought mode. I was betting my left ass cheek that there was a reason behind it as well.

"Admit it." I was walking back towards him now like the complete goddamn kiss ass I was, I was longing for him to just admit it. Hell, at least then I'd have some sense of goddamn closure instead of just being left out on a limb here. Jesus I still had three weeks of sick leave, and if I was gonna have to go through them alone, the least Tseng could do was tell me where I stood.

"Don't even try it." He warned, but as damn dangerous as he tried to make it sound, it didn't quite work this time, and his expression looked more strained.

There was more utter silence. I'm not exactly perceptive, hell I'm about as insensitive as Scarlet at a funeral normally, but even a useless asshole like me could figure there was something Tseng was hiding. He was normally good at hiding that shit, but I knew from the rings around those dark eyes of his that he was more than a little tired, so obviously that ice barrier of his was having a little trouble keeping its power up. And... being the way too nosey son of a bitch I am, I was determined I was going to find out what the hell it was. I mean fuck, as whiny as I know that sounds... I just needed to know.

"Tseng?" I said, and was rewarded with a low 'mmm?' that sounded more like he was sulking than trying to freeze me to death with the tone of his voice. I smirked weakly as I opened my mouth the next time, pretty sure he was going to recognise the words I was going to say.

"Talk to me?"

Tseng glanced over his shoulder at me, finally making some sort of goddamn eye contact as he obviously remembered the last time those words had been spoken. A halfhearted smile flickered across that serious face of his before it sank back into thought again, though he seemed at least a little more relaxed. He stopped standing like someone had shoved a four foot pole up his ass and sighed.

"You never learn when to shut up, do you Reno?"

"Never been a quick learner."

Well... he sure couldn't accuse me of lying anyway.

There was another pause. Damn, but I was sick of these godawful pauses by now. Tseng might be a master at silence, but I sure as hell aint. Still... at least it wasn't one of those brain-killingly painful silences from earlier. I could tell something was going on in that confusing head of his, and fuck, but I was just hoping it was something good. Ah fuck, I found myself just staring like a gormless prick at Tseng's long raven, gorgeous hair, just longing to reach out and touch it. My fingers were just twitching to do it...

But Tseng opened his mouth long before I had the chance to start. Fuck knows what made him decide to speak. I never was too good at understanding Tseng's thought train and to tell the truth, I'm not exactly sure I'd ever want to get inside that man's psyche, incase the things in it screwed up my already pretty warped head even more. But considering I was completely obsessed with the guy, what he came out with next struck me dumb so that all stupid, aching Reno here could do was stand there, naked and half drunk, gulping back the lumps in my throat as I realised what in hell's name Tseng was doing.

The stoic son of a bitch was finally opening up to me.

"My mother -" he started, then stopped. Knowing Tseng, he was probably suddenly wondering why the fuck he'd started speaking in the first place, but holy fuck no, I wasn't gonna let him start and then just shut up. I was willing him on painfully in my head. Even if when I went back in 3 weeks and we were back to the crappy goddamn Shinra heirachy 'don't-even-look-at-me-if-you-havent-got-a-half-million-gil-in-the-bank' shit, I guess I still wanted to know. My stomach was in about a dozen knots again as he took a deep breath. It was obvious he'd never seriously told this to anyone before...whatever it was.

'C'mon Tseng...' I had a feeling this was the first time he'd opened up to anybody. I mean, hell, you don't become head of the Turks by being all smiles and friendly service. It's called 'keeping to yourself' and 'acting like you have a stick up your ass all day'. Whatever Tseng was finally trying to say, he was having trouble saying it and as much as this goddamn lapdog right here wanted to reassure him somehow, I resisted. When Tseng speaks, you goddamn listen, and you listen hard. It's just too damn rare to risk shutting him up.

There was another sigh, and then I just stood there like a brainless jerk, trying to stop my jaw from dropping down onto the floor in complete and utter fucking shock as he spoke.

"...The war started when I was 14. I wanted to become a doctor so war meant nothing to me. It was beyond my grasp at that age. I had no idea what it could mean. But then... before long things began to happen. Things that I'd never even considered happening in my own village. Stupid prejudices that at first I didn't comprehend, but..."

Tseng paused for a second here, me still standing there, every muscle in my body stiff as a goddamn board as I listened.

"There's a lot of anger in war. Illogical anger. Me and my mother were not completely Wutaian so we were suddenly regarded with suspicion, even though my mother and my father had lived happily in Wutai for years, it didn't seem to matter. Friends of the family suddenly became enemies, enemies became bullies... In the end, things got out of control. My parents were forced to think of a way... out of things before the population turned against us. One night I simply remember being bundled into a cart carrying supplies for the docks with my mother, and being told to keep quiet as we made our way to a ferry that would take us across to the Western Continent..."

Tseng's voice had changed. I'd never heard him speak like this in the whole two years I'd known him, and believe me when I say it was one fuck of a shock to the system, especially after the way he'd simply ignored me earlier. His voice was barely recognisable: quiet, confiding... shit, and I'd been surprised outta my head when he'd even been willing to touch me of his own free will, or kiss me, or say my name without it being an angry growl or him mocking me... and now this was something completely goddamn different. This was a trip inside Tseng's mind, and I wasn't expecting an easy ride. No boquets of flowers or fluffy pink bunnies here. But then, how could the past of a guy who'd gone from doctor to hired thug in the space of a few years be in any way easy?

Me? I'd gone from scum to slightly higher scum when I joined the Turks, but for Tseng it was one hell of a step down. I stayed rooted to the spot like a gormless idiot. Damn it I didn't want to disturb him, so I just watched as Tseng shifted uncomfortably, still staring out of that window.

"That night there was a purge in Wutai. We were losing the war, and the town got together and decided that someone was betraying our secrets to Shinra. The suspicion fell on us, obviously, and a few other non-Wutaians. They came for us all in the night. The only person they found at our home was my father, who had decided to stay in Wutai. He was arrested, and eventually someone we had trusted with the plan betrayed us, and they came after the cart. We were caught only a stone's throw away from the docks, and my mother distracted them while I ran for the ferry. I ran without looking back, and that was the last time I saw her. I was later informed she was killed right there, trying to distract them so that I could escape." He sighed, frowning into space. "I drifted for a while, unsure of what to do, but eventually I ended up in Junon... and that's where Shinra found me, and they gave me a chance to take revenge on the one who betrayed me and my mother, which I took, in exchange for a blue suit and a gun."

He finally turned back to look at me, still with that damnably cold look on his face, but by now I could see it beginning to slip. I suddenly realised I'd been holding my breath the whole time and my lungs were burning like hell, so I took in a quick breath as I watched Tseng's face.

Jesus... he looked so goddamn sad. I'd never seen this far into Tseng before, and even though I'd been expecting something like this, something fucking twisted, it still surprised me. Eventually the stoicism just dropped completely and I was face to face with the side of Tseng I'd fucking longed to see again. Not that asshole, Tseng: Head of the Turks, Tseng 'stay - away - or - I'll - rip - off - your - genitals - and - shove - them - down - your - throat'. I wasn't being blocked out in the slightest, and my heart was fucking burning as he opened his mouth and said slowly:

"Do you know... who it was who betrayed us, Reno?" I didn't respond, didn't even move. "The one who betrayed us, was my father."

Tseng sighed resignedly, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes.

"Given a choice between dying, and giving us up, he chose to save his own worthless life..."

Fuck. So that was his problem. All these goddamn years, Tseng had been so damn distant to everyone, such a pain in the ass and such a stoic son of a bitch, and why? Because his old man was a treacherous bastard.

Heh... and I thought my past was fucked up beyond repair, huh?

It was silent for a second, Tseng still standing there with a frown on his face and his eyes closed, before it finally sank in what the hell it was Tseng was trying to say.

"Tseng, I ain't your damn father."

At least, I hope I'm not, because Tseng's a lot older than me, and that'd pose some pretty interesting biological questions.

Tseng didn't even seem to notice I'd opened my mouth. He just frowned harder and started talking again. Probably now he'd started, he didn't want to stop until it was all out.

"Living for yourself is easy. There's nobody to blame but yourself, nobody to praise but yourself, and nobody to betray you but yourself. It's hardly a difficult thing to do. At first it takes a little thought, but as the years go by it gets much easier, until it becomes second nature.

"And then-" I blinked in shock at the sudden power in Tseng's tone, not quite sure what to make of it at first, "- one day some smart alec, stubborn... insubordinate son of a bitch is marched into your office with a super inflated ego, and a nack for nearly getting himself killed, and you begin to think you're losing your mind, because somehow this ignoramus of a Turk makes you want to trust again, and no matter how hard you try to push him away and give him a hint, he's just to damn stupid to take no for an answer."

I smiled slothishly as I realised what he was talking about, and Tseng opened those damn gorgeous dark eyes and humour glinted somewhere in there for a second, beyond what in a normal guy could be called sadness.

The best I can say, is that what he'd just said phased out any sickness that might've been left in my stomach through anxiousness. It was pretty obvious what Tseng was saying here. Call me egocentric, call me vain, call me whatever the hell you like, but I couldn't help but revel in the fact that Tseng had just admitted I'd been the one to crack him.

Me.

Okay, so he'd described it more as an insult than a compliment, but even an asshole like me could see past the bullshit and see what Tseng - in his annoyingly detatched way - had just admitted.

I made him feel.

I wanted to say something. Anything. But yet again, just when I needed it to be working, my brain had frozen up in shock. See what I mean by my brain hating me? The one point in my screwed up life when I wanted to say something, and my brain wasn't gonna let me.

Bastard thing.

Considering what had just come out here, I was finding it damn hard to resist the urge to just reach out and comfort him. Heh... damn, what can I say? I'm a complete sucker, I know I am. Or at least... I am now. A couple of weeks ago, if Tseng had come out with this shit I might've laughed rather than get the urge to comfort him.

Tseng blinked a couple of times slowly and started to frown, the humor fading from his eyes suddenly and his mouth turning into that straight humorless line. He frowned harder, closed his eyes, shook his head, and turned back towards the window.

If I know anything about Tseng psyche, then I can only guess he'd just realised how much he'd just given away, and was cursing that damn miserable mouth of his for opening in the first place. Me? I was still trying to get over the fact Tseng had let me know the truth, and I just stood there for a second like some gormless bastard, trying desperately to get my brain into forward gear.

A Turk telling the truth is one thing... two Turks telling the truth within the space of 24 hours is fucking incredible. Now all it needed was for Rude to dress in a tutu and start dancing Swan Lake around Shinra's office, and the utter bizzarre insanity of the situation would be complete.

Tseng had opened up to me. Jesus Crist! And now... he was just standing there again, but this time I don't think he had the look that said 'speak, Reno, and I'll put your genitals in a food blender'. If anything... holy crap if anything he looked sad.

I licked my lips for a second. I wanted to do something, and like I've already said: when my body wants to do something it does it. It's like the entire thing has a mind of its own that just bypasses my brain... heh, not that my brain is that helpful in any case, but I'll give it its dues: every now and again it does manage to stop me doing something stupid... like what I was about to do right now. Maybe drinking so much crap affected me more than I'd realised, but all I could do was watch nervously as I stepped forward. Tseng didn't even seem to notice me walking up to him, Jesus Christ, didn't even blink, too lost in whatever shit he was thinking of.

I should, if I wasn't out of my head and already fucked up beyond repair - I should have just left him to it. Gone back to the couch and sat there silently like some worried asshole and waited. But I wasn't exactly in a stable state of mind, and holy crap I wasn't about to risk him just walking out, deciding in that way too serious brain of his that it was better to keep his distance, because I could swear... if Tseng blanked me when I went back to work, after all this shit? I'd seriously lose my goddamn mind.

My hands slipped instinctively round Tseng's waist, my defunct little brain suspending belief of what the hell I was doing - trying to comfort a guy that up until yesterday, had scared me half to goddamn death, and who I thought hated my scummy little guts. A guy who acted so fucking cold all goddamn day, you could've dropped him in a whiskey glass and called him an ice cube. The strangest, most fucked up thing was that I didn't feel scared. Tecnically I should've been bracing myself to be hurled across the goddamn room or beaten to a bloody pulp as soon as my hands touched that dark blue suit, but somehow I didn't give a damn. At all. I just closed my eyes and for once showed some real damn emotion as my hands met around his waist and I leaned a head on his shoulder slowly.

Tseng tensed up completely. For a goddamn second I wondered wether he'd just turned to fucking stone or something, standing there on that traditional Tsengian pose, arms clasped so damn stubbornly across his stomach as he stared indignantly up at the goddamn Mako Reactor as if it was something of some unbelievably goddamn endless interest. The next thing I knew my hands were on top of Tseng's... and my heart was about ready to jump out onto the damn counter.

He shifted uncomfortably and clamped his jaw.

"Reno..." He hissed, about as viciously as he could manage, "take your hands off me... now."

I just stayed there, frowning to keep some kind of damn self control as the alcohol started to go to my head.

"I aint your damn father, Tseng..." somehow I managed to keep a slur outta my voice as I spoke, fuck knows how, considering how much I'd been drinking, and what kind of hangover I had. Jesus christ this was me being serious. It felt one hell of a weird thing to be doing... this is me for Christ's sakes, but Tseng was more important than my useless fucking pride, so I just gulped it down and held on. "I ain't going to betray you. I am scum, yeah... fucking dirty scum. If I had a mom she'd've fucking disowned me by now... but I aint a treacherous bastard. I'm no fucking traitor." I was practically murmuring in his ear, head on his shoulder from behind, waiting for something... goddamn it, anything to indicate he was gonna relax and not throw me across the goddamn room like I had such fucking horrible visions of. "... come on Tseng..." I found myself whispering, threading my hands through his, "... just try it, trust me."

Damn, how fucking stupid did that sound coming from me? Incredibly stupid... mind numbingly stupid... but I didn't give a fuck. This was Tseng, goddamn it! If he walked outta my door still with that stoic, stupid look on his face, I was pretty much fucked. More than fucked, I may as well just drink myself into a goddamn sleep I wasn't gonna wake up from. I tightened my grip around him and repeated it... I was pretty sure that was the only reason he was acting like such an asshole now... even for a drunken bum, I can be pretty perceptive when I want to be.

"Tseng... trust me."

You would've thought I'd had enough of serious crap this last week to last me a goddamn lifetime... and I had... just trust me on this one: this brain was never made to cope with the shit that had decided to pile itself on my doorstep lately, and I was sick of it, but my heart was in my mouth, I was shaking from the alcohol and the pain in my back... at least that's what I told myself it was, and Tseng was standing in my kitchen... he'd opened up to me a second ago, and now he was trying to put that barrier back in front of him. Jesus I'd just asked him to trust me, and I was clinging to his fingers as though it was somehow gonna help the situation. It was quiet for a while... the worst minute of my goddamn life passed, and then Tseng leaned back reluctantly.

"You're asking for a lot, Reno." He mumbled.

"I know."

"Trust is a difficult thing to give."

"...I know." I wasn't sure where the hell this was going, but my heart sure wasn't having a fun time getting there.

...more fucking... awful... stupid... silence.

Tseng audibly sighed in front of me, probably still staring up at the godawful ugly Mako reactor out my window and after a few more seconds...

...he threaded his fingers back through mine and pulled them tighter around him with what at first I thought was a sigh... till I realised it was actually a laugh, and then my stomach flipped over inside me and tried to burst out, along with the rest of my innards.

"...You're a bastard, Reno."

"Yeah... I know that one too." I grinned, knowing damn well I had him now. He chuckled eventually and just grabbed my neck. The next thing I knew he'd turned around and I was in a kiss... Jesus Christ Tseng can change his mind quickly! It worries me sometimes how the Head of the Turks can be so goddamn flippant with what he decides. But hey, that wasn't what was really on my mind right now. My mind was completely absorbed by the fact that Tseng was fucking kissing me... again. Not that I was about to protest. I just moaned slightly, sighed and gave myself up to it. Who the hell cares if the guy treats me like shit sometimes? I'm an asskisser, well and truly. A fucking sickly little lapdog. But damn, Tseng and me had had one hell of a shit day, so I guess a little leeway was allowed. I just leaned back against the counter behind me with a grin and somehow... fuck knows why, probably the alcohol in my brain - ended up with a leg up around Tseng's waist.

Well hell... call me forward if ya want, but it was damn comfortable... and I didn't see Tseng complaining either so thats neither here nor there. Besides, I could be forgiven: drunk, tired, in pain, and completely in shock at how Tseng had actually just gone through another complete 180 degree turn on me. Besides, Tseng had just damn well admitted to fuck knows how much! And I owed him... a goddamn lifetimesworth. Jesus he'd risked his fucking life to help me out, and now I half knew why... I guess a little trust between us wasn't too much to ask, and damn, but I was willing to give it a shot, and from the way Tseng was pressing himself up against me desperately right now, running his hands anywhere he could get them, I'd say he was pretty much willing to give it a shot too.

...damn, well if that aint a braincell killer of a fact, then I sure as hell dont know what is.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Up to this point in my crummy little life, I'd pretty much given up on the idea of romance being worth anything but convincing the woman I was with to climb out of her pants and onto my bed. In my opinion, romance was pretty much an optional thing, it was the sex that was important, and if the chick was prepared to go for the sex without any of that 'oh how I love you', flowers - and - chocolates - and - walks - at - goddamn - sunset romance shit then all the better - it meant I had less work to do to get what I wanted, but now... ah holy crap, kissing my boss in the dark of my stinky, tiny, goddamn messy little kitchenette, listening to his breathing and feeling his hands on my bare skin as he leaned into me, coffee and whiskey mixing together in a weird but insanely gorgeous cocktail as our tongues brushed against each other... I was suddenly pretty much aware what the hell romance was actually about. Reno - uneducated, womanising, son of a whore lapdog of the Shinra company was actually being taught something for once in his useless fucking existance.

Sure... so we didn't have no champagne, love hearts and flowers every damn where, there wasn't no damn cheesy violin music floating in the air... hell, the only thing floating in the air in my kitchen was the smell of rotting pizza, but then, goddamn it we're Turks, not fucking women... but I still gotta say, that was the first time romance ever really got to me. I mean, screw it, wouldn't it get to you? After a week - an entire fucking week of bad luck beyond anything that had happened in my goddamn life before, here I was, a leg wrapped around the most gorgeous - and up until a few seconds ago, the most goddamn annoyingly cold and confusing - guy in Midgar, shivering as I leaned back against the counter behind me, Tseng's tongue running leisurely as he explored my mouth, and one hand tracing up and down my curled-up thigh as I tried to remember how to breathe again after holding my breath in damn anticipation for so long. My stomach was in so many knots it'd take a goddamn month to untie them, and my brain was on a complete esctacy trip, on some little damn cloud somewhere as it slowly began to sink in what had actually just happened here.

I opened my eyes and stared at Tseng's closed lids as he leaned over me, that goddamn gorgeous, normally way too serious face of his for once not looking like he was about to bust me for smoking on the job, answering back to him, or some other bullshit corperate crap. He actually looked... holy crap he actually looked vaguely happy, and damn, I just trailed a hand up his back unbelieveingly as I stared at him, my drunken, annoyingly slow little brain finally understanding.

Tseng had just said yes to me.

Well holy crap, just the thought of that was enough to make me need more air in my lungs. I broke away from the kiss with a gasp, staring at Tseng's face like the complete gormless bastard I am as he panted once or twice, then slowly started to open his eyes, his face flickering up into an expression I'd never even goddamn dreamed of seeing on that miserable, stoic, normally constipated looking face of his. Holy crap he was grinning.

Tseng looked so strange like that, I swear, my head wasn't ready to accept Tseng looking actually goddamn happy after two whole years of him being such a stoic son of a bitch. My brain, not for the first time this week, went into complete disbelief mode, and I probably ended up looking like a total mindless imbecile to the bizzarrely grinning Wutaian in front of me. He grinned harder at my confused look and slipped a hand around my back to pull me closer, the other one tracing up my thigh as I dropped it slowly back down to the floor. I ended up smirking back at him drunkenly, I have no idea why exactly, except for the fact my head had gone into bliss-enduced shock, and I had no idea what the hell to react to. Fuck, Tseng hadn't lost his power over me in the last few hours - just one goddamn quirk of those lips could make me feel like I'd been drinking double whiskeys for a week, so holy crap, imagine what the hell a grin was doing to my brain.

...goddamn it, it was practically fried.

I opened my mouth to say something, but for one of those rare occasions in my life, I couldn't think of a damn thing to say. Tseng tugged at the hair falling down my back a little, apparently enjoying seeing me lost for words for once - I mean hell it doesn't happen very often. The guy's been trying for two years to get me to shut up so it was probably one hell of an achievement for him.

"...holy shit." Was the only, brainless, thing that I could force out of myself in the end, and I was rewarded with a low purr of a laugh and a quirked eyebrow as he stroked my loose hair.

"Holy shit indeed." Mused Tseng, his face dropping into more of a smirk as he licked his lip for a second. "I'm giving you a last chance to change your mind, Reno ...you have no idea what you're letting yourself in for." Tseng's hand shifted up my back and started caressing the back of my neck again, watching with that strange mixture of affection and amusement as I let myself shiver at his touch and half close my eyes, brushing my hands over his hips, goddamn honoured that I didn't have to worry about him pushing me away any more. Well hell, I think we'd got past the idea that I had to stand to attention to every damn thing he said - which I didn't do even when I was supposed to. I just smiled and shrugged at him.

"I'm sure... I'll survive." I smirked, trying to stop myself passing out right then and there. My brain had had more ups and downs over the past few days than a goddamn Honeybee whore, and I was finding it difficult to keep my brain and my body in sync anymore. Tseng just 'hmm'-ed at me, as if he hadn't expected anything different. A long Wutaian hand started to trace along my jawline.

"I'm sure you will." Tseng purred at me. "You always were too damnably stubborn to quit."

"Well you know... that's how you trained me, Tseng." I slid my arms around Tseng's back and pulled him closer. Call me a pathetic whiny little bastard, but now I was 'officially' allowed to do this crap, I was all too damn eager to do so.

Tseng smirked a little, those insanely intoxicating coffee shaded eyes smouldering with amusement. "Hmm... it must be the only piece of training you payed attention to, then."

Now for that one, I didn't have an answer and he damn well knew it. It's true I went to Turk training... every single session, actually. The only problem had been that the instructor was one sexy little brunette with curves in all the right places, so when the bunch of sadass rookies who'd never made it, or had been killed off on the job since then, had been learning weapons handling and assassination tactics, the only tactics I'd been thinking about was how to get my greedy, sex-obsessed little hands on those curves of hers, and I guess I'll spare telling you what weapon I was thinking of handling. 'Course, my tactics, as always, had actually worked their charm in the end, but thats one hell of a long story... that I aint got no intention of telling you.

Dusting off that memory there, I realised Tseng was still staring at me, waiting for an answer with that trademark wicked smirk on that face of his, paired up with that new, insane look of affection it was still taking my brain a hell of a lot to get used to seeing on that normally miserable face.

I blinked. What? He wanted an answer? Ah damn, I'd forgotten how annoying Tseng could be sometimes and I opened my mouth to speak, realised there wasn't much I could say without looking like a complete prick, and decided a better tactic was in order: I pressed my lips up against Tseng's before he could protest and started licking at them.

Well hey, Tseng always taught me and Rude to use whatever tactics were available and to think on our feet, and damn, but at the time, still drunk and tired as fuck, I was pretty proud of myself for thinking of something so sneaky. Tseng though, Tseng's too smart to fall for my 'sneaky' tactics, damn him. A few seconds later, he moved away and placed a finger over my lips, just as I was getting into the swing of things too, dammit. Couldn't he let me get away with it just this once?

Dark eyes narrowed at me, accompanied by a half-amused smirk that made me feel more like a kid caught drawing on the walls of his junior school than a Turk

"You know, Reno..." he began, voice half serious, "just because you're allowed to kiss me now, doesn't mean I'm going to let you use it to avoid answering my questions."

I smirked slightly. Well hell, that sounded like a challenge to me. But then, every damn thing sounds like a challenge to me, due to my fucked up authority problem. What had been a smirk quickly slipped into a grin.

"Oh yeah?" I grinned harder against his finger and flicked out a tongue against warm skin, to be rewarded by one of Tseng's eyebrows suddenly raising and a shiver that he tried damn hard to hide, but I noticed it, and if I hadn't been half dazed on alcohol, and my mind half fucked by all the events that had suddenly made a landslide onto my brain, my ego would've been about as huge as the Midgar plate right now.

"Yes..." Tseng stated stubbornly a few seconds later, me still grinning hard against a long finger. He licked his lips in an attempt to hide a smirk. "And dont think I'm going to let you squirm out of anything at work either."

Ouch... pretty harsh words, but that was Tseng, I guess, and I understood why it was that way now, too, so I just brushed my lips against his finger for a second and pulled him as close as was physically possible without breaking any bones.

"Squirm? Me?" Cue my way too over-used innocent look. "When have I ever tried to squirm out of anything?"

Tseng's eyes narrowed at me, the smirk spreading slowly across his face in amusement.

"Reno would you like the list?" he mumbled at me, raising his eyebrow even more as a mischievious grin appeared on my face.

"If I can get another kiss, Tseng, you can reel off all the goddamn lists you want at me for the rest of the night."

What can I say? I'm a sucker, I guess, and I know first hand that suckers aint great at striking up a fair deal.

Tseng pretended to think, not bothering to hide his amusement any more as the smirk spread across his face so wide it looked like it could've been painful as he dropped his finger from my lips and traced it along my neck.

"Hmm..." He purred a quiet laugh to himself as I leaned in, making pretty sure that he held up his end of the bargain, because I knew damn well that he wasn't about to turn down an offer like that. He smirked at me. "Sounds like quite a deal." Tseng pretended to think for a few seconds more, leaving me hovering like a crazed alcoholic outside a bar just before opening time, then he tugged my hair. "If only you were this easy to plaese during working hours." He mumbled, and the next thing we were licking at each others' mouths again, seeking out the remnants of the coffee and alcohol tastes as our tongues brushed slowly against one another.

Tseng's tongue moved around my mouth, the taste of coffee coming back as we both tightened our grips on each other, damn near crushing our chests against each other. Even with that annoying, pristene, dark blue suit in the way I could feel how warm Tseng's skin was and it made me shudder as I thought about the fact that me: Reno, scum from the slums of Midgar, thief and bastard turned goddamn corperate assassin, was allowed to get this close to Tseng, was actually allowed to see him without that fucking annoying barrier that he kept up all damn day long.

Tseng growled, chest humming against mine even through the material of his shirt and jacket, and started rubbing a hand down my back slowly. Damn, that guy had good hands. I moaned into the kiss quietly as Tseng rubbed the palm of his hand against my shoulder blade, still licking carefully at the insides of each other's mouths, but then, just as I was beginning to get lost in it, Tseng's tongue stalled. His hand just maddeningly stopped its massage, and then he parted the kiss altogether.

Damn, I was swearing to myself at losing that goddamn gorgeous taste of Tseng as his tongue slid out of my mouth and he backed off. The tiny part of my brain that still considered itself sober managed to stop me following Tseng's tongue to begin with, and then the dark look on his face all of a sudden practically made my brain freeze up in complete fucking confusion.

Tseng smirked a little, but I could tell there was something suddenly on his mind again from the sudden godawful change in his eyes. Goddamn it, can't the man keep a good mood for more than a few fucking seconds? I felt my stomach starting to churn again, preparing itself for Tseng to change his goddamn, unpredictable mind again and storm outta the fucking door. I swear, Tseng had screwed with my head so much, just the smallest frown and I was about ready to bust an artery in panic.

He backed off and looked me over, suddenly with that stupid, annoying inspective look that he gets at work - you know, the one that always makes me feel like he's trying to read my mind - and probably succeeding, hand still caressing the skin at the base of my neck. Well, at least I knew he wasn't planning on leaving any time soon then, but I could tell something had suddenly wormed its way into that way too stoic brain of his. Me? Heh... like a goddamn stupid dog I stood there with a dumb look on my face, eyes half closed and fingers touching Tseng's goddamn beautiful hair like it was some kind of holy relic or something, really way too comfortable to be assed with trying to hide anything from that stare. The way I figured it was that even when I did try to hide something, that annoying, mind-reading son of a bitch look somehow always figured it out anyway so whatever he was looking for, I may as well just save time and let him find it.

There was more silence. Not that it bothered me this time, due to the fact that Tseng's fingers were still there on my neck, making me virtually collapse onto him, I was that damn relaxed, which considering the shit and stress and god knows what else that had happened to me over the last week and a half, was one hell of a relief. I sighed and closed my eyes. To hell with acting the part, I was too fatigued to give a damn about anything except the fact that Tseng was touching me, and that it felt so damn good.

I know, kinda sucky, isn't it?

I wrapped my arms tighter around Tseng, using him to keep balance against the alcohol, disbelief, pain in my back, and the feeling that all my muscles were about to collapse through pure relaxation as I leaned my head on his shoulder, taking in that crazily gorgeous smell of his as his head shifted, the hand caressing my neck stopped for a second. Tseng tensed up, and then I felt his fingers moving down and across my shoulder. I wasn't sure what he was doing, but he was still touching me, which was an insanely good thing, considering how ten minutes ago, I'd been convinced he'd up and scrammed like a rat out of a damn trap.

The next thing I knew Tseng was tracing a finger in a circle on my shoulder and my eyes flickered open when he let out a forceful sigh, bringing my absurdly ecstatic brain back to the real world. Tseng hummed as I backed off a little and stared at him. Goddamn it his eyes looked so dark and sad, illuminated slightly by the green, godawful nauseating glow that swamped my kitchen at night. Why did he suddenly look so damn unhappy? I cocked my head questioningly, staying quiet in case I said something wrong, which - knowing my fucking stupid mouth - was more than likely to happen. I was Shinra Inc's 'Mr Tactless' 2 years running, after all, and I have more than a tendency to say the wrong thing. It was more of a hobby really...

Tseng's mouth twitched up into a smirk that he couldn't keep for more than a second before it fell flat back down and I followed his gaze to where he was caressing my shoulder still.

I frowned into the dim light as my eyes tried to focus on my own shoulder, slowly defining Tseng's long fingers moving across a shadowed circle of skin.

...Shadowed? Wait a second, that wasn't a goddamn shadow, it was a bruise! I frowned harder, the alcohol and Tseng's touch making it incredibly difficult to dig into my memory. Come on Reno, think you stupid bastard. Where in the hell did that bruise come from? It sure as hell wasn't there when you were in the hospital wing and they were looking you over, so where -

I gulped and tried my best not to spill the contents of my stomach all over Tseng's pristene suit when I made out the teeth marks, lining it in dark red.

"...oh ...damn."

Heh... well you can't beat my response to stressful situations, can you? I might be a Turk, and I should be used to this stress shit already, but sometimes my mouth just goes into utter 'speak random, dumb crap' mode and the best you'll get out of me is utter gibberish. Now sure as hell wasn't an exception, as the sickness from this afternoon sank back and I was brought miserably, gut-rippingly back to reality.

I had bite marks on my shoulder.

Rufus.

I gulped silently. Ah geez I hadn't even noticed them earlier. Holy crap, for the last six, seven hours, I'd tried my damn hardest to put all thoughts of that sick fuck out of my already close to cracking brain, and Tseng being here, actually making me feel less scum-like had nearly put that out of my head completely, but now... I dont know exactly why - maybe seeing bite marks, remembering his teeth on my skin, his fingers on me... those godawful psychotic blue eyes staring at me like I was some kind of fucking brainless, speechless, playtoy. Damn... and what made it worse was that Tseng knew about it - no, goddamn it, worse than that - he'd seen it. I kept my eyes on my shoulder, for a second too sick and too ashamed to even attempt looking at the guy. Yeah I know, I know none of this was his fault, even though I'm damn sure it was none of mine either, but just that tiny reminder brought the truth home.

Rufus Shinra had... screwed me.

Twice.

"Reno?" Tseng's concerned voice interrupted my brooding before I could get too far into it, shaking my shoulders to get my attention again. Somehow, very slowly I blinked, turned my head back towards him and eventually managed to look him in the eye. Damn, why does my brain have to be such a stupid fuckup? One minute I'm goddamn ecstatic beyond belief and the next...

"I'm fine, Tseng." I smiled weakly, but to be honest, a dead rat could have pulled a more convincing smile outta its ass.

"Reno..." he said sternly, putting on that ' don't give me no shit' business look and glaring chidingly at me, "your definition of 'fine' seems to be 'anything that isn't dead.'"

"Yeah... pretty much."

Tseng gave me that repremanding look that just said 'both you and me know you're talking shit'. Hell he knew how to pull off that look - he'd had enough practice over the years, but I'm telling you it takes one hell of a skill to make it work even when I detected some sympathy in there too.

Wait a second... that wasn't sympathy in his eyes. I studied harder, the annoying green glow and the alcohol in my bloodstream making it damnably hard to concentrate properly. That wasn't damn sympathy. No way, that was something... something that me of all the scum in this scrap heap of a town should recognise. It was guilt.

Woah, hold on just one minute... guilt? What the hell did Tseng have to be guilty about? I blinked, frowning stupidly in confusion. Trust me, my brain aint the fastest moving vehicle on the track when I'm sober, so I'm like a damn snail when I'm drunk. After a few seconds of that guilty - but still damn repremanding - look from Tseng, it finally began to dawn on me why...

'Ah Jesus Christ...' I thought to myself, 'he thinks this is all his fault.' And from the look he was trying so damn hard to hide, I was guessing that was exactly what he was thinking.

...goddamn it, Tseng! Why do you have to be so damn stubbornly responsible? None of this shit's your fault so stop acting so stupid.

Forcing the smile damn painfully onto a face that I can only guess had by now turned pale, I gulped back the feeling in my stomach that felt like I'd swallowed a whole bucket of ice cold acid, and forced words up to the surface of my throat.

"...I've had worse." I lied, and shrugged heavily. I knew even before I'd opened my stupid mouth, that Tseng wouldn't buy into it, but dammit all I wanted was for him to drop it. The last week had been the worst of my life, yeah... but right now the last thing I wanted was a reminder. The bite marks were enough... along with the fucking assortment of other cuts and scars and bruises I'd somehow seemed to gather over the last 9 days. Holy crap right now my body was looking less like a human, and more like a banana after a good kick around the grocery store floor. If I'd looked in the mirror it would've been difficult to figure out where the bruises ended and I began, but just that one stupid fucking tiny bruise had made me feel sick... just when I wanted to be feeling damn good for a change.

I've come to the conclusion that life is a bitch. Or more like, I am life's bitch.

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Tseng smirked slightly - still sadly - finally moving his hand from my shoulder and down my chest as the other one teased the end of my untied ponytail, wrapping it around his fingers.

"You know... for someone as manipulative as you, you're a terrible liar." He said, wrapping an arm back around my waist and trailing it along my spine, careful to avoid the still stinging wound and I shuddered at the feel of dark warm fingers on my back, somehow yet again relaxing me a little. I closed my eyes and sighed. I could've answered back to him I guess... if I'd wanted to, but right now? I was drunk, tired, sick, and damn, but Tseng was doing one hell of a job of stopping me from spilling the contents of my guts onto the kitchen floor just from the feel of his fingers on my back, so I wasn't about to talk. Besides, answering back and being an ass was what had got me into all this shit to begin with. Maybe I should just keep my damn mouth shut from now on, and spare myself the trouble.

Tseng let slip a hint of a smile at me - probably amused at just how damn stoned I suddenly looked. My eyes half lidded, dark rings around them, and completely incapable of keeping my gaze fixed on a damn thing. Why? Probably utter tiredness, feeling as though my brain was being put through a goddamn food blender and dribbling out my ears or something, and maybe it had something to do with the fact that I had a gorgeous, normally insanely annoying but still somehow loveable Wutaian guy standing in front of me, looking into my face with a look of half affection, half guilt as he comforted me; and to tell the truth (which aint easy) I was finding out lately that comfort was a pretty underrated thing. Besides, like I've said before - Tseng has this way about him that I'm reckoning could tame a damn psychotic chocobo if push came to shove, and I my little dumbass brain was nowhere near as difficult to control.

Which is why, even though just a second ago, Reno here had been ready to throw up and crawl into a nice never ending river of whiskey to try and forget, I was actually instead wrapping a strand of Wutaian hair around my fingers tiredly, and leaning in to get a kiss. Hell, my brain is screwed. Anybody would've expected me to do the complete opposite or something, go lock myself in a dark room for half a year with a gallon of whiskey, but that really wasn't how my brain was working right now. Tseng - despite being a cold, harsh bastard when he was on the job - was acting as some kind of damn mental anaesthetic - one hell of a lot better than that Mako crap up in the hospital, with the added bonus that it didn't turn my brain into quite as huge a pile of short-circuiting crap, besides the obvious plus that I wasn't about to get bent over a desk and used as a fucking sex toy just by taking a dose of him.

Tseng didn't complain when I brushed my lips against his and slid my tongue into his mouth, mostly because he couldn't, I guess. He just slid a hand up from where it had been caressing the bottom of my ponytail and ran his fingers up to tangle in the unbrushed mass at the back of my head that was currently my hair, eliciting a tiny growl in the back of his throat as he started to lick back, taking his time to discover the remains of the whiskey taste in my mouth.

Insanely, I actually started to smirk in that kiss. Don't ask me why, because I'm damn sure I couldn't tell ya. Lets just say my mind is fucked beyond repair, but I guess I can be understood - Tseng's mouth was one hell of a place to be even on the best days, and right now? It was doing damn well at keeping me calm, along with the feel of his fingers tracing up and down my chest. I closed my eyes and leaned my body weight on him, too damn weak and stone tired to keep myself upright any more. Thank fuck Tseng's got a decent amount of upper body strength, otherwise we would've collapsed on top of each other on the damn floor or something, which aint that bad an idea, except for the fact that the fall could be painful, and holy crap, nobody really wants to be lying on my damn kitchen floor unless they want to be eaten alive by whatever the hell lives under all the piles of crap.

Its kinda surprising how your whole life can flip from one day to the next aint it? 9 nights ago, I'd been standing in this exact same spot, in this exact same crappy little kitchenette, half stunned with images of being screwed senseless across Rufus' desk still as fresh as if someone had just damn carved them into my brain with a fucking knife. Jesus Christ, that might've still been happening if it weren't for Tseng. Rufus had been planning another sick minded little game of 'fuck the Reno' when Tseng had turned up - just by chance. Oh crap, I fucking dreaded to think what would have been happening right now if Tseng hadn't walked in and kicked the crap out of the miserable little fuck - I'd probably still be drooped over my damn desk like a deflated blow-up doll, brain like it had been caught in a food blender and my muscles spasming uncontrollably, a puddle of drool smothering the stacks of unfinished paperwork. Hell, maybe I'd just be standing there like a fucking gormless prick like that first time, swigging urgently from the canteen of rum I'd hidden away from Tseng in the bottom of my desk, trying to numb the pain - in more ways than one - of being used by that psychotic bastard's mind fuck.

...damn. It was thinking about that, still kissing slowly at Tseng, that I realised just how much I owed this guy. Holy crap if it weren't for him looking out for me over the past week and a half, I'd either be dead, wounded, or being used like the vice president's personal whore... except without the wages, and a hell of a lot more pain. Not to mention my brain would be even more fucked than it was now. It'd be doubly fucked, triply fucked, fucked with a capital 'F'...

... well, you get the idea: It. Would. Be. Fucked.

But still...

Call me crazy, dammit, say that the last week had made me completely lose the plot, and I'd more than likely agree with ya, but there was a question - one mother of a question humming up inside my chest right now. I gulped hard as I could as Tseng broke away from the kiss to actually breathe, knowing damn well that his eyes were watching me as I forced open my mouth to speak.

A few seconds later, that seemed like damn minutes from this side of things, and a few more goddamn pathetic attempts to open my mouth and let out something that was actually audible instead of getting just air, I closed my mouth and tried again. 'OK Reno stop acting like such a pathetic pansy. Take a deep breath and get it fucking right! One... two... three...'

"Tseng?"

Wow go me, I actually managed to utter something that made sense. Well done Reno, award goes to you for stupidest amount of time spent trying to say a single fucking word. Congratulations, you dumbass, drunken son of a bitch. Might teach ya not to resort to alcohol for every single goddamn problem you're faced with.

...Or maybe not.

Tseng answered in a conscise nod as he recovered from the kiss, a hand trailing slowly in circles on my back, and the other still in my hair.

Now... the next sentence was gonna be even harder to say. I opened my drunken little mouth to say it - probably looking so fucking stupid when I realised I didn't know how the hell I was meant to word it. It was sticking in my throat like I was trying to swallow a fucking cheesegrater or something. But damn, even for a drunk guy I knew this was the only chance I'd get to ask it. I wanted to ask now, and then forget the whole of this last week from my memory somehow. Wash it away with something - either alcohol, Tseng, or maybe a little bit of both. Anyway, I knew if I left it any later, I'd be too sober to ask.

So...

I took one goddamn huge breath, tried to get my brain into a relatively sober frame of mind, and into forward gear, and then I spewed out the words that I'd been trying to ask, faster than Shinra downs his food on his lunch break.

And trust me, that is fast.

"Where in the hell did you get those photos of Ru- of..."

Tseng stared at me darkly as I winced, remembering the scene yesterday afternoon in my office, when Tseng had stormed in, kicked the crap outta the damn guy, and blackmailed him with those photos. I was about to attempt the question again when something stopped me dead in my tracks, eyes wide open in confusion and trying damn hard to stop myself collapsing to the floor from a mild heart attack.

Tseng let out a tiny chuckle, a tiny trace of a half smirk forming on his face, before he dropped a sentence on me that felt like my brain was getting ready to explode.

"...there were no photographs." He said.

...and here comes my stomach trying to jump outta my throat again, just on cue.

I was silent for a second, I dont think my poor brain was having a good time trying to make that sentence sink in, and when it did, I managed one of the greatest speeches ever to be said. Forget that crappy 'Loveless' play everybody was so damn obsessed about lately, forget anything else that had ever been written. 'Reno's Speech' should've been up there with the all time classic speeches of history.

"...what?" I stuttered blankly, feeling my entire stomach squeezing itself to a standstill. Tseng half shrugged, his lip curled up into what could have passed in Tseng's vaguely limited range of facial expressions, as a devious smirk.

"When you are around Shinra and his son as much as I have to be, you tend to notice things. Things like... when the vice president stinks of cheap perfume? Or when he has lipstick in his desk drawer." Tseng 'hmmed' a dark laugh. "Besides, there have been rumours, and I've found over the years that rumours about that self-indulgent little brat tend to be true." A shrug. A dismissive shrug. "This time I simply took a gamble."

And this is the part where I collapse onto the floor and go into spasms of shock... or would do, if Tseng wasn't there to keep me vertical. Holy crap. Up til this point I'd been unbe-fucking-lieveably grateful to Tseng for what he did for me. And now? I swear, if there are words to describe how much I felt I owed him right now, they're really long ones that it takes about a whole damn minute to say. I knew he'd taken a gamble yesterday afternoon, just to help a vain, selfish, annoying son of a bitch like me outta the pile of shit I'd landed myself in, but holy crap, to think that the whole thing had been a bluff was...

Fucking unbelieveable.

Tseng smirked at my obvious shock, tugging at my hair as I convinced myself finally to close my mouth and stop looking like a dead goldfish.

Tseng had risked more than one and a half decades of misery - risked his entire goddamn career for me... on a bluff.

Blinking back any drunken tears that might've been forming in my tired eyes I gulped again, trying to think of something to say. But hell, what do you say when you find out the guy you've been lusting after for the past two years has just risked everything for you? I tell ya - there's nothing I could sure as hell think of, but thats partly due to the fact that I only have half a brain anyway.

Tseng's eyes seemed darkly amused at my obvious gormless face, me still trying to bring my damn brain back from the cloud it was trying to settle on for the night and then he made a sound that was suspiciously like a purr when one of my hands traced along his shoulder... followed soon after by my lips. Well, dammit, I wanted to say thank you - badly, but again, my mouth was frozen, and besides there was no way two words were gonna show him how damn grateful I was - holy crap it was beyond words by now. So I figured I'd say thank you in a different way, tongue tracing circles along his neck - not complaining about it either because of that same taste on him I'd noticed in the mansion.

Tseng had this taste... this mind blowing taste of his own that even though I'd fantasised about tasting it when I was bored, sitting there at my messy desk imagining it, came nowhere near the real thing. It was a mixture of sophisticated aftershave he always wore, what tasted like faint gunsmoke and something just... Tsengish. It caught me every damn time, and I closed my eyes, licking every inch of the side of his neck, savouring the taste of that guy like I was an addict going after another hit.

Tseng wasn't exactly hating it either, apparently, from the low purring sounds he was making and the way he raised back his head, shaking the long raven dark hair from off his shoulders and flexing his fingers against his grip on my head as I traced my tongue up to his ear and slid my teeth down it, to be rewarded by a hand sliding around to my front and down my stomach... and lower...

Damn it, you have no idea how much willpower it took me to move Tseng's hand from the direction it was heading, I practically had to force myself to grab his wrist and move it back to my hip before it could reach its destination. I was still half dazed from that bigass revelation that had just been dumped on me, and I was half willing Tseng's hand lower, but the bite mark on my shoulder was still there, fucking haunting me, and besides... for once, this wasn't about Reno, it was about Tseng, and I was damn determined to show him a little gratefulness... in the only way I knew how.

There was a hiss from Tseng up above me when my tongue stopped and I rested my lips against his ear. I figured a little warning would be in order... if I could remember how to speak, that is.

"I wanna..." was about as far as I got, before Tseng interrupted me suddenly with a masterful 'Don't.', somehow knowing exactly what was going through my mind, which still slightly freaked me, even though he'd been doing it to me for more than two years. It amazed me that he still managed to speak through what I could tell was lust in his voice - hell I'd heard enough of it over the years to be able to recognise it. But that was Tseng - hell he'd been hiding his emotions for more than half his lifetime, so I guess he must've been pretty practiced out at self control. Damn, no wonder he seemed such a miserable son of a bitch at work all the time.

Heh... figuring Tseng to just be saying it because he didn't want me to feel used or some other stupid responsible crap like that, I totally ignored that warning, instead I just trailed my hands down to his pants and undid the flies, blanking the annoyed growl Tseng made and then backing off with a half drunken, mischievious smirk.

"Reno..." Tseng warned calmly, the lust still in his eyes but hidden underneath that serious business glare, and... another emotion. I studied him for a second. Okay... I was pretty much not in control of my brain too much any more, but that look was either him warning me off, or... concern. I mentally shrugged, convinced Tseng was just being too damn righteous as usual. I just put it to the back of my mind and knelt down, slowly because of that fuck-ugly wound on my back and a hand still on his flies, kicking empty beer bottles out of the way as I knelt down. Tseng up above me frowned, that damn stupid mako green glow catching the vague concern in his eyes, but dammit, he'd stopped me saying thank you in this way once before, and now I had so much shit I needed to thank him for. I mean, how much did he risk for me yesterday, goddamn it? And without being able to get rid of the last of my useless fucking pride, and make myself say those words, this was the only way to thank him. I'd be damned if I was gonna let him stop me a second time.

Tseng opened his mouth to say something... and he would've chided me... if I hadn't reached my fingers inside at the same time and traced up and down his length. His dark eyes just glazed over, the mouth that had been open to speak stayed open and let out a quiet growl in the back of his throat, and the hands that had been on my hair untangled themselves and rested on the counter behind him instinctively. He raised an eyebrow gingerly as I pulled out his cock, tracing my fingers down it, in return for a shiver and Tseng's eyes closing. I managed to pluck a pretty poor excuse for a triumphant smirk outta the air.

"Reno I'm warning you..." he somehow managed, incredibly still pulling off that peeved headmaster's voice, even when I was shuffling closer. I sighed. Damn Tseng and his way too serious brain! Looks like he was still worried about me.

Okay Reno, time to play it cool.

"Hey... Tseng I aint about to bite it off, you know?" I joked, kinda ruining the mood I was aiming for, I guess, but I wanted to show Tseng it wasn't anything major, like that overactive responsibility of his seemed to think it was. Its true, I was... still feeling a kinda overwhelmed by everything, but hell, I could close off my conscience when I needed to, so I was pretty damn sure I could do the same with the rest of my emotions. Tseng just sighed loudly.

"I've... said it before..." he managed to say, fake annoyance in his voice, "...and I'll say it again..." I trailed my fingers along his length, feeling among the warped cocktail of emotions in my screwed up brain, some kinda smugness about being the cause of the normally controlled Tseng suddenly struggling to string a sentence together. He started to rock his hips slightly into my touch. A growl, a pant. I looked up through strands of messy red hair to see a tiny, lustful smirk trying to hide itself in his face. "Reno, you are - "

"One stubborn son of a bitch?" I offered. Tseng opened an eye slowly and looked down at me with a lust-filled chuckle.

"Exactly." Tseng brushed a hand through my matted hair for a second, a glint of humor in his eye before he closed it again and gripped to the edge of the counter tight when I slid a finger over his slit.

I hesitated for about... a fraction of a second, thinking about about 100 different damn things at once. How, about 10 days ago, what was happening now woulda been pretty much a fantasy, and holy crap, I was here, in my own damn kitchen, living it out. Still... truth be told, I was feeling... kinda uncomfortable. I still had that fucking bite mark on my shoulder, reminding me of Rufus and the sick shit he'd done to me, but this wasn't about Rufus, goddamn it! Or me, or any damn body else. Ah christ, I just wanted to make Tseng feel good, after all the shit he'd done for me, and so I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and took Tseng slowly into my mouth.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Tseng let loose a low, controlled moan as my lips slid over his skin, tongue lapping needily against one part of my boss that up until this time 2 days ago, I'd never even imagined getting this close to.

Damn, but if I thought Tseng's lips tasted intoxicating, then what I was tasting right now was even more completely addictive - my eyes were closed so that only the faint glow of that annoying Mako reactor seeped through, so I was going on taste and sound here, and even with my damn tongue desensitized by the years of nicotene abuse, the taste that was filling my mouth right now was... completely goddamn insane. A mixture of whiskey, coffee, and whatever the hell this new taste was, as Tseng up above me growled lustfully and somehow - god only knows how - managed to stop himself from bucking into my mouth as I inched over his cock, tongue rolling against that damn hot flesh in a shameless attempt to get more of that taste, taking my time and in some twisted way enjoying the tiny bit of power I had over Tseng right now. I mean, I'm pretty sure that was a forgivable thing to be feeling here - after two years of him bossing the hell outta me I was allowed to be a little smug. Sure, I was saying thank you in the only way I could, and I was a little nervous, but that didn't mean I couldn't get a kick out of it. One hell of a kick actually. The sounds that Tseng was coming out with were a new sensation to me, because I was sure as hell he didn't come out with stuff like this at work... unless more happened behind those closed blinds of his office than goddamn wage docks, meetings, and that inhuman lust for coffee...

Ok, cut the images Reno, welcome back to the present. Concentrate, goddamn it!

I swear... it was one hell of a thing to attempt - especially for me: Shinra Inc's very own restless bastard, but I was trying damn hard to think straight beyond the haze of slowly wearing off alcohol, the pain in my back, the taste of Tseng driving me near crazy, and the fact that one certain, gorgeous, dark-eyed Head of the Turks was standing over me, eyes closed, clutching to my kitchen counter for support and making quiet, goddamn death-inducingly sexy growls with every movement of my lips.

Managing to get some kinda self control from somewhere, even though my brain was basically ready to collapse in on itself out of disbelief and a bunch of other emotions that I couldn't even begin to list right now, I finally took Tseng completely into my mouth, lips pressed up against his groin, breathing slowly as I could so that I didn't end up gagging as my tongue carried on just trying its damn hardest to find any remains of that taste of his, because I was figuring that for Tseng, seeing me nearly choke on his length really wasn't gonna be much of a turn-on right now. Of course I could be mistaken, I mean for all I knew Tseng could be into that kinda thing, but I was supposing even though I was drunk as hell and my head was still at a 10 on the fucked-upometer, that Tseng seeing me hurl up on the damn floor was not gonna do much for his libido. Crap... the last thing I wanted to do was screw this up after all the shit Tseng had done for me.

Everybody has their breaking point, everybody's got a stage they get to when self control goes outta the damn window and instinct takes over. Trust me on this, I'm a Turk. A lazy asshole of one I'll admit, but just because I never learned a damn thing in Turk training doesn't mean I haven't had a thousand and one mindless lectures since then from Tseng: 'Everybody has their buttons, you just need to push them' 'nobody is totally immune' 'it is simply a matter of testing the water and eventually they will reach that stage' and a thousand other sentences that I could swear he'd just memorised from a book or something. Heh... for me that stage is pretty easy to achieve - my instincts just do whatever the fuck they feel like, and then tell me later when there's not much I can do about it, but for Tseng... damn the guy's hidden so much shit over the years I was beginning to wonder wether he was actually human and could reach that stage. Cue Reno the dumbass being proven wrong yet again - I took a breath, steadied my hands on the cold tiled floor and started to draw back, sucking lightly on Tseng's length... and then up above me, Tseng did something that if he hadn't repeated it about a half-second later, I could've sworn was just my screwed up brain fucking me over for the hundredth time this week.

He moaned.

Holy crap, and not just a quiet, controlled Tsengish moan either. This was something even when Tseng was lying over me, his face screwed up into that droolworthy look of need, he hadn't sounded like. My eyes flicked open just at the sound of it. I could swear I was going goddamn crazy. There was no way a moan like that could've come from Tseng, was there? Even when he'd spilled his guts to me he'd done it so damn calmly you would've thought he was stoned or some damn thing! But now...

I traced my eyes up Tseng's front, still moving my lips slowly back over his length, heart beating like crazy as my eyes finally slid up his ripped, but still way too uncreased shirt, moving rapidly with the movements of his chest, and then further to look at his face.

Why... in the hell... were Tseng's eyes open? Why in the hell did he have his damn eyes open, and why in the hell was he staring at me like that? I blinked, for some reason that even my screwed up little brain couldn't figure, Tseng was standing there, clutching to my kitchen counter like his life depended on it, moaning through slightly parted lips, and staring at me under half closed lids with a look of complete... affection?

Heh... you expected me to say lust right? Well, that was there too, but it was over run by the insane look of affection in his face, dark brown eyes shadowed with strands of jet black hair, boring into me and glazed over from the way my tongue was moving over his length. I swear, my heart nearly jumped into my mouth to see Tseng like that, and that really aint a good thing - I've got a big mouth, true, but not that goddamn big - believe it or not there's only room for one body part in there at a time.

Tseng gritted his teeth, moaning lustfully behind his lips as my tongue flickered over his slit, still looking up, just because my eyes seemed totally incapable of moving and looking at anything else. On normal days, days when my head's not downloaded by shit, I at least have a little control over what I'm staring at, but not now. Crap but Tseng's eyes are addictive! I didn't even blink, watching him watching me as I started to move my lips faster, sucking harder as I started to bob my head, now that I was getting the hang of things. Tseng raised an eyebrow gingerly, that damn gorgeous moaning of his getting slowly less controlled and his eyes getting less and less focused, yet somehow still managing to stay on me. Shows you how much self control Tseng's got, because even though I'd been doing this for about a minute already, it was only now that I was starting to speed up, that he let himself go enough to react to what I was doing and start bucking into my mouth. Even then, he only did it slightly. I knew from the look in his eyes there was a hell of a lot more where that come from, but he was holding back. Probably still worrying about pathetic little Reno here, pathetic, useless little Reno, and the vice president that had -

I suddenly realised through the blur of senses that I was starting to shake. Oh... oh shit. I blocked that memory out as best I could. This is about Tseng, not you Reno, you self-obsessed son of a bitch. You can have a nervous breakdown any time you damn well want, but not right now. This is way too important to fuck up like you've done with the rest of your life.

I pushed that memory to the back of my head, hiding it in some dark, cobwebbed goddamn corner, smirking up at Tseng as best I could with my mouth full, and placed a hand on his bucking hip in order to keep my balance and stop myself shaking like a little girl. So I may not have a hell of a lot going for me here, being an underpayed Shinra scumball, but this was at least something I could say thank you with and subdue my conscience, which for some godforsaken, stupid reason had suddenly decided to start working properly after 24 years tonight.

Tseng started to thrust into my mouth harder as I carried on, sucking pretty hard by now and moving my head back and forth, lips sliding over hot skin and my tongue flickering against the underside of Tseng's length as Tseng's moans and purrs came faster and louder, his eyes virtually squeezed shut as a slightly shaking hand slowly unclamped itself from my kitchen counter and slid down, finally resting on top of the one I had on his hip. He smirked weakly down at me and made a throaty growl, still bucking into my by licking mouth, me riding the bucks as best I could and in my opinion doing it pretty well for a rookie. It was when my tongue slid over his slit again that Tseng finally at goddamn last lost complete control, and I swear the shock it gave me nearly made me black out right then and there.

"R-" Was all he managed to say before he threw his head back, eyes clamped shut and teeth gritted with that eyebrow still raised gingerly, bucking desperately into my mouth and squeezing my hand so damn hard it would have been painful... if it wasn't numb from alcohol abuse. I guess sometimes being drunk out of your tiny brain can be a blessing. I was watching Tseng's normally stoic face intently, and damn but if I had room in my mouth to smirk properly? You can bet your ass I'd be doing it. Even though my brain was full of shit, it was still one hell of a thrill to see Tseng - Head of the Turks, Mr. 'I-have-about-as-many-emotions-as-a-piece-of-cheese' - in this state because of me.

But in that case, why in the Planet's name had that shake I'd noticed earlier suddenly come back? Fuck. I stared at my hand for a second underneath Tseng's... yup, there it was - my hand, shaking like a neurotic chocobo that had overdosed on caffeine. I frowned to myself, closing my eyes in some attempt to stop that shake before Tseng could get it into his serious mind that he should stop. Crap what the hell was I shaking for? Come on Reno stop being a jerkoff. Its not like I hadn't done this before.

...

...Oh crap, that was just it.

I had.

The next thing I knew, images were flashing behind my closed lids of that first time with Rufus, up in his office, kneeling between his thighs like a little Shinra bitch and doing the same damn thing for him as I was doing for Tseng right now. I remembered... feeling so fucking low that I thought I could've probably outdone Don Corneo on the scum factor. I could feel myself shaking, every single damn muscle in my body was shaking, images flickering in front of my face at a thousand miles per hour but still trying hard to keep going. Tseng was beginning to make more needy noises up above me, and I was damned if I was gonna let Rufus win his sick little game over me. I could taste precum in my mouth... I just needed to hang in there for a while more. Hang in there Reno... Time to play my hand before these bastard images got the better of me.

I trailed a hand up Tseng's inner thigh, heading towards his crotch, and I was hanging in there pretty well... until Tseng's hand let go of mine and wrapped itself in my hair.

Well holy crap I dont know what that did, but the next thing I knew it was like I was goddamn reliving everything Rufus had done to me - I started to shudder, my lips stopped moving. I could hear Tseng up above me say my name but I was too into my own little damn world to even nod in answer. A milisecond later, my eyes shot open, I ripped his hand away and fell backwards onto the kitchen floor, landing with a painful thud right on my wounded back.

Oh fantastic, so as well as feeling sick to my stomach... as well as feeling like a scummy piece of crap for not even being able to do that much for Tseng... as well as that I'd just whacked my goddamn wound on my oh-so-not-hygienic kitchen floor. I closed my eyes - half out of complete and utter shame, half out of pain and panted. Oh shit. I was shuddering like hell, the visions of Rufus coming right back into my memory, fresh as fucking paint. What the fuck would Tseng think of me now? I could just imagine what his face looked like and it wasn't pretty. What with that mixed with the images of Rufus pretty-boy Shinra, my brain wasn't exactly having the best moment in its career right now.

"Reno?" Tseng's voice interrupted my brooding a moment later, what sounded like disappointment in his voice. I winced, not opening my eyes. I didn't want to see his face, no way. I just lay there for a second, listening to myself panting, letting one pathetic tear trickle out of the corner of my eye. Tseng didn't say anything else but I could feel his Wutaian eyes boring into me like a goddamn exhibition or something. What was he waiting for? I was expecting him to walk out or something - hell I half wanted him to, after the pathetic show I'd just made of myself! But if my ears were still working properly, then he sure wasn't moving.

A few precise footsteps, the sound of a zipper being done up, and then silence. I gulped, finally - from somewhere - I plucked up the courage to actually sit up and open my eyes... to be faced with a concerned, still panting Tseng, crouching down in front of me.

Tseng sighed and tilted his head at me.

"You're never going to listen to what I say, are you?" Oh yeah, great time to repremand me Tseng. Fucking fantastic.

We were both still panting from before, and Tseng's loose hair moved in front of my face as I finally plucked up the courage to look at him, frowning all the way. The lust somehow had totally disappeared from his face, and all that was left was a look that was half glare, half concern. How in the hell had he regained control so quickly? What was he, a robot? I know damn well if I were in his position, I'd still be leaning up against the counter panting... majorly pissed off at the asshole who'd just stopped before he was finished. I winced again. Dammit, forget Reno, I'm now officially Mr. Scum. Now all I needed was a nametag from somewhere...

I frowned up at him in confusion - and pain, as my goddamn wound was now throbbing, courtesy of the kitchen floor, then I made a truly great reply - I shrugged, well... shrugged as best I could with my muscles tensed up like they were. Tseng looked at me sternly, apparently 'shrug' wasn't exactly the answer he was after.

Don't get me wrong, its not that I didn't want to... well, it was, but damn I would have answered any other time - Jesus Christ if Tseng asked me, I'd jump outta this window right now. I'd wave my goddamn manhood in a tank of hungry alligators, still with a smile on my face if it made the miserable son of a bitch happy, but right now, Rufus was all I could think of. Rufus and his fucked up game on me. I pushed Tseng away, shuddering still, imagining those goddamn psychotic blue eyes as I scrabbled to my feet unsteadily. Trust me - drunk, shaking and tired is not a great mix when you want to walk anywhere.

"Crap ...I, I need to - " I never finished that sentence. Before I could think straight, I was out of the kitchen door, staggering desperately as I headed instinctively for the bathroom. I wanted a shower. I felt so fucking dirty all of a sudden. Used. Tseng didn't say a word as I stumbled out of that door, and to be honest I sure as hell couldn't bear to think what was going through his head. If I'd had the ability to string a sentence together, I would've apologised, but as it was I was desperate to get rid of this feeling, and I couldn't be sure that if I opened my mouth, I wasn't gonna hurl up all over my kitchen floor.

I didn't bother to turn on the light when I went in, I made a complete attempt to avoid the mirror and anything else in here that might show my reflection and headed straight for the shower, not bothering for the damned thing to heat up before I stepped under, still shuddering like hell and not just because of the cold water. I knew Tseng was still here, but right now my brain was having too much trouble with its own little battles against imploding on itself to deal with that too. I placed my hands on the wall under the shower and stared down at the shower tiles, like they were of some huge damn interest, just trying to come to terms with my own crap luck as the water ran over me.

Rufus had screwed me over, and I kinda think it was only now that it was totally sinking in, just what the fuck he'd done to me. And just when I thought my luck was turning, I'd gone and screwed up the one fucking thing I wanted to do to say 'gee by the way: thanks Tseng, for risking god only knows how much for me' and what had happened? I'd fucked up. No surprises there then. And why? Because of Rufus Shinra.

The sick little fuck who'd screwed up my head. I frowned down at the tiles as faint red swirls from my back swam down the drainage pipe.

...I guess... this meant Rufus had won, huh?

The wound in my back was stinging like hell under that shower, but I just couldn't give a damn right now. Hell, at least the pain was distracting from my psyche, acting about as goddamn crazy as a moogle on steroids. I gritted my teeth, wishing to god that the fucking pictures in my head would get lost. All I wanted to do right now, was stand under this goddamn shower for the night. I tried to forget about Tseng. If I were him, I would've left by now, thinking the prick who'd run off wasn't worth my time. Maybe if I practically showered the skin from my back, I might not feel so goddamn pathetic.

And that was pretty much the plan I had for the next... oh I dont know, couple of days? Or it was... until for some inexplicable reason, the shower dribbled to a stop, leaving me standing there, dripping wet and still feeling dirtier than one of Scarlet's thongs after she'd worn it for a week. What the goddamn holy hell just happened? I frowned and punched the wall.

Of all the times, of all the fucking times the water could've been cut off after months of me not bothering to pay for it, it had to happen now, didn't it? I wanted to scream. Whatever god or deity there is up there, I must have fucked them off majorly for all this to be happening to me.

A smooth hand on my shoulder jerked me out of that line of thought, and at the same time made me kind of cancel my plans to disembowel the entire governing board of Shinra Inc Water Supplies.

Tseng was standing there outside the shower, his face dark, brow low. I just stood there like a stupid son of a bitch. Well what the hell was I supposed to say? 'Oh, I'm sorry for not sucking you off, Tseng, I got kind've a problem with the fact that I was used like a fucking sex toy twice in the space of a week, but gimme a few hours and I'll get back to you.'

Oh sure... and wouldn't that line go down like a 50lb weight?

"Reno... you really are the most idiotic creature I ever trained." He purred after a moment of silence, and you know, for what he said, his tone of voice was actually sort of warm. I blinked stupidly at him, this time finding some kinda comfort in his touch. He shook his head at me, the only light in the place coming from the mako-green glow shining through from the hallway and catching the sober look on his face. "Is there a reason you have to disobey everything I say, or is it just for amusement?"

"...no reason," I muttered shamefacedly, really not wanting Tseng to be here right now. I'm just an old fashioned kinda guy at heart - I firmly believe that losing your goddamn mind should be done in private. "I guess I just like making an ass of myself."

Tseng's eyes flashed with that business-like seriousness. "Well then you're doing well, I suggest you take it up as a career if you enjoy it so much." He said correctly, sounding like a headmaster disciplining a naughty kid. I love Tseng like hell, but sometimes I really can't work him out... ok ok - most of the time I cant work him out, and this was no exception. What was with the mood swing? Didn't he get it? Did Mr 'I can read your mind like a billboard' not understand I just wanted to be left the hell alone? I was way too tired and stressed to try to figure him out now.

"I thought thats what I was doing." I answered, only noticing the slight snarl in my voice too late to do anything about it. Tseng didn't even blink, though his eyes seemed to soften by a fraction.

"If you carry on with that attitude, Reno, nothing I can do or say is going to help you. Trust me, I've seen enough come and go and I can tell you: if you continue the way you are," he sighed silently, "you'll be dead before the end of the year."

Oh yes, thanks Tseng thats the one damn thing I needed to hear right now. 'Hey, Reno, as well as being screwed senseless you're gonna die soon.' Well gee, aint my life one hell of a party?

I lowered my eyes. Damn, I couldn't keep my eyes on Tseng right now, he was using his little soul-searching routine. Damn, just one glance in the eyes and it felt like I couldn't hide shit from him. I suddenly realised I'd stopped shuddering too. Holy crap, they should sell this guy in pharmacies - this guy was the ultimate sedative.

"...A Turk, should not let an already beaten enemy win, Reno." He said quietly after a few moments, hand still on my shoulder and his face softening slightly from that look of complete utter business crap. I winced. Damn, how in the hell did this guy do it? Was it just me, was I that goddamn readable? Still... I know Tseng had good reason - I know he was trying to help me out, in his weird, twisted, way too calm way, but he had absolutely no idea what the hell had happened to me - in that office, in that goddamn awful hospital bed, unable to do a thing because of the freaky Mako crap pumping through my veins. And he was... telling me to just forget it? Hey, don't worry about me, Tseng. All Rufus did was fuck me, drug me, blackmail me and hurt me. Gimme a couple of aspirin and I'll be all fine and fucking dandy.

I frowned at him drunkenly, feeling anger that I knew sure as hell shouldn't be there. I gritted my teeth and gulped audibly.

"That's none of your damn business."

"If you say so." He said flatly, but his hand massaged my shoulder soothingly as he spoke, and I could see the traces of a soft look on his face. "But I'd like to think that you are, in fact, my business now." I glanced up at him, ok so his face hadn't changed, but the tone of his voice had... and a hell of a lot. I frowned confusedly, to be rewarded with a slight curl of his lip. "Reno, you asked me to trust you, and I'm doing so. Is it so hard to do the same?"

The answer, which I sure as hell knew was the truth, was a big fat 'no Tseng, I'd follow you up Satan's ass if you wanted me to,' but me, being the illogical son of a bitch I am, was still angry that Tseng had just tried to get me to shrug off the fact that the vice president had screwed me senseless. I've come to the conclusion - if my brain hates me, I hate it a hell of a lot more, because even though I knew damn well that I was sickeningly in love with the guy in front of me, even though I would've goddamn died for him, gouged out my own fucking eyes if it'd make him crack a smile, even though I wanted Tseng right here... my brain screwed me over, anger got the better of me and I did something fucking ridiculous.

I lied.

"...Yes." I snarled, teeth gritted and eyes narrowed.

Tseng's reaction was enough to make me feel like my goddamn heart was being put through a shredder. His eyes faltered for a second, looking completely lost for words in the most totally un-Tseng like way. Then he looked around, almost like he was trying to avoid my eyes. A sigh. A long, slow, godawful sigh.

"I see." He said blankly, starting to straighten up, folding his shoulders back and putting the barrier back up. The next thing I knew, I was looking at the head of the goddamn Turks again, with a stick up his ass and a perpetual glare on his face. I gulped, eyes wide as I realised just what the fuck I'd said. Tseng smoothed down one of his lapels, me standing there goddamn speechless as the anger ebbed away to be replaced by a feeling like I was gonna hurl and second now. He took his hand off my shoulder and the shower controls and stepped back, nodding concisely. "Three weeks then, and I suggest you make sure you arrive on time for a change."

...and that was it. He didn't say another damn thing, just turned and strode out the door, like nothing had happened.

Fuck.

For a second I just stood there, a vacant expression on my face that would've made Palmer look goddamn intelligent, and a feeling in my stomach like I'd swallowed a pint of acid. What the hell did I just do? I listened to Tseng's footsteps ringing out hollowly as he headed down the hallway away from me. I'll tell ya what the hell you just did, Reno. You just drove away the one guy you actually felt anything for, the one guy who'd actually fucking trusted you in this crazy scrapheap of a city. Man, what an achievement. Congratulations, Reno, you just won the 'Stupidest asshole of the goddamn century' award. Your prize? A trip to Fuckup Alley with a bottle of whiskey in tow.

I grimaced subconsciously when I heard the front door open, and my heart skipped a beat. Several beats, actually. I panicked. Fuck Rufus, right now that was the least of my troubles. I didn't want Tseng to leave, goddamn it! I could still see Rufus' cold blue eyes in front of me, tormenting the hell outta me, but I was damned if I was gonna let Tseng walk out of that door and not come back again. Fuck it, he was the one guy I actually needed right now, and trust me thats one hell of a thing for me to admit.

I gritted my teeth when I heard the door shut again, and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel as I ran after Tseng. I couldn't let the guy leave, I didn't want to be alone for 3 weeks. Holy crap, after all the shit that had happened to me I couldn't be sure that I'd last 3 weeks. I'd probably drink myself into a coma by the second day. I stormed through the hallway and reached for the door just as I heard Tseng's car door open, not giving a damn right now that I was naked all but a towel. Hey, some of the stuff you saw this side of Midgar at night? A guy running around in nothing but a towel was close to normal.

Tseng stopped in his tracks when he heard the door open and looked up at me. Damn, I couldn't tell anything from his eyes anymore, he just looked like the Tseng I'd known for the last 2 years - cold, distant... ah shit. He placed his hand on the car door and raised an eyebrow.

"Make it quick." He snapped, and my heart sank so damn low. I'd been listening out to hear if there was anything in his voice, but nope, nu-uh, not a damn thing, unless it was the sound of utter disgust. I sighed and stepped out, about freezing my damn nuts off with just a towel wrapped around me, and still wet from the shower. Heh... I musta looked like a goddamn drowned rat, but did I care? Like fuck did I... Over the past 36 hours, Tseng had seen me in a hell of a lot worse situations than this.

"...I talk shit." Was the first thing that flew out of my mouth. I winced. Hah, good start Reno, good of ya to establish that fact right now. Not exactly damn eloquent is it? Tseng's eyebrow raised even more at me, a humourless look on his face.

"I've noticed." He said flatly, narrowing his eyes and tapping his fingers impatiently against the car door. "Is that all you came out to inform me Reno?"

Cold. As. Ice. And I'm not just talking about the damn weather, either. It was suddenly kinda hard to imagine that just a few hours ago, the same guy who was standing there staring at me like I was scum on his shoe, had been poised over me breathing my damn name down at me. Holy crap can you say 'schitzophrenia'? I shook my head.

"Damn Tseng, I came out here to apologise." Now is it just me or did that make me sound like such a whiny little bitch? Not that I gave a damn right now. My pride could wait to get screwed up until the rest of my psyche had pulled itself off the edge of collapse. Tseng's reaction was about the same reaction a stone wall would give. He stayed silent, fingers still drumming on the car door. It looked like he was trying his damn hardest to make me just turn around and go back in, but I wasn't gonna do that, no matter how deathly that glare got. If I walked back into that godawful crappy little apartment alone, the next time I came out would probably be on a stretcher - or in a bodybag.

"If you want to apologise for something Reno, do it on paper, and in company time." He stated matter-of-factly, "In three weeks. You're on sick leave, so I suggest you take the time to recouperate." He nodded at the wet bandages around my waist "Make sure you keep redressing that wound and stay away from the alcohol, and I'll see you in the Tower in three weeks... preferably on time."

"Tseng, this crap can't be done on goddamn paper!" I gritted my teeth. "This ain't no company shit and you damn well know it!" I was going out of my tiny little head by now, crap it felt like I was back at goddamn square one, and all because I'd been a stupid son of a bitch. I knew damn well from everything tonight that what Tseng was doing was just a front all because of me, but I tell you, there's one hell of a difference between knowing Tseng's putting on a front, and getting him to drop it, the awkward asshole. I sighed hard and stared at the floor. This wasn't working. Just one word had caused so much shit - the guy felt fucking betrayed by me, thought I was a damn hypocrite and oh yeah didn't that do a hell of a lot for what was left of my self respect?

Tseng was gonna leave wether I liked it or not.

I was screwed.

"...I have no reason to stay, Reno." A change in tone. I glanced up to see him walking back around the car towards me, his face looking at least a little less like all the emotion had been surgically removed from it. He clasped his hands in front of his stomach and stared at me. "Give me one."

I stared at him for a second, Tseng's eyes narrowed slightly at me, his hair had been smoothed down but I could still see a few rough patches where I'd been hanging onto it just a few minutes earlier, and there was a bruise on his collarbone where I'd been sucking at it. He was asking for a reason to stay? Maybe there was a little hope left for a son of a bitch like me after all...

I gulped. Time for this lying bastard here to do a little truth telling.

"Holy shit, boss, you think I'd have told you half the crap I have if I didn't trust you?" Ignore the crack in my voice for hell's sake, Tseng, leave me a little dignity.

There was a pause. We were back to pauses goddamn it. I licked my lips and looked at Tseng seriously, who for a second remained in exactly the same pose. He was thinking.

"...Is that a good enough reason for me to stay?"

"Well if it aint, then I dont know what the hell is. Even Rude doesn't know half the shit you do." I gulped, for a guy like me this was a hell of a lot of honesty spewing from my mouth, and it was making me kinda nervous. "I ain't your damn father, and I know sure as hell you're nothing like the goddamn Don... but if that ain't a good enough reason, then I've got nothing else for you, Tseng."

Tseng's pose still hadn't changed. I only wished I knew what the fuck that meant. I couldn't tell wether that was a good or a bad thing right now, and I was on the verge of going damn crazy. What? Was it that hard a question? Yes or no woulda been good enough for me, not 'I'll stare at you blankly for half a goddamn hour and then do something totally fucking obscure that has nothing to do with the question.' I was losing it. I was shaking like hell and not just because I was cold, either. Rufus was still in there somewhere, tormenting the hell out of me, and the one guy who could be the antidote to it was standing there with a look on his face that made me wonder wether he hadn't just been struck down where he was. Then he blinked, slowly.

"You're shivering Reno."

"Yeah well..." I gulped "thats what kinda happens when you feel like you're about to lose your damn lunch on the pavement." Cracking voice... honesty... holy crap what had I been drinking? Whatever it was, it sure as hell aint no good thing - I was acting more like a girl than a girl would right now. But I was just hoping it'd be worth getting my pride a little dented.

"And your bandages..." He trailed off here, voice only fractionally less death-inducing. I glanced down at the bloody, ripped damp layer of cloth around my waist. Oh... yeah another cockup for Reno. When I'd thrown myself into that damn shower, I pretty much hadn't given a rat's ass about them, but now... holy crap they were a mess. I looked up at him again and shrugged.

"I'll change them I guess." Wow... that was a real enthusiastic answer wasn't it Reno? And totally believeable too. Tseng carried on watching me, a look of uncertainty beginning to appear in those obsidian eyes of his. Apparently my acting skills needed touching up, because I could tell he'd seen straight through that big fat mother of a lie. Finally, a little goddamn emotion from Tseng! That was all I needed - just some kind of response to give me the boost I needed to say something. A tiny smirk formed on my face. "...that is unless some random passing 5' 9", black-haired, brown-eyed, wutaian guy with a little dot on his forehead wanted to do it for me?"

Tseng stared at me, my heart goddamn jumping as for the third time in a 24 hour space I laid all my cards on the table. A moment later, a sly smirk began to slip across his face.

"I'll see you tomorrow then." He said softly, eyes flickering at me for a second, and then he turned and headed for his car, hands clasped behind his back in that oh-so-annoying yet somehow sexy pose.

Finally an answer. My heart felt like it was doing cartwheels inside my chest. See you tomorrow. Tomorrow. I smirked wider, a little old fashioned Renoism coming back into my head. Tseng was coming back tomorrow. That was enough of an answer to keep this Turk happy, and Rufus' mind fuck over me became just that much less effective.

Still, I'd be damned if Tseng was leaving tonight. Hell, after all this crap I was feeling pretty goddamn flaky, and Tseng was the one thing apart from a bottle that could keep me from ending up in a rubber room by the end of three weeks.

"You're going already?" I stepped down another step. Tseng re-opened the car door and then looked up at me, still smirking slightly.

"Reno, as much as I'd love to walk into work tomorrow morning looking as though I'd been dragged from here to Rocket Town by a passing flock of chocobos during the night," he said lowly, taking sarcasm beyond the goddamn edge of reason, "I think it might raise a few questions, don't you? I'm going home for a shower."

I smirked for a second, calming my heartbeat down now that Tseng wasn't on the verge of telling me to get bent, still hitching up the towel around my waist like some chick with a loose skirt and a modesty problem as I stepped down the last step and onto the alley, damn freezing as I leaned forwards, placing a hand on Tseng's bonnet as he went to climb in.

"You know, there's a free shower booked for ya at Maison a la Reno's if you're interested."

Tseng stopped where he was, eyes flickering up to mine in amusement. Then he stood back up tall and 'mmm'-ed at me, raising an eyebrow.

"Sounds interesting..."

"Yeah don't it just? Great mood lighting, junk-themed atmosphere... State of the art shower equipment too - you can have cold water, you can have hot water... and the great thing is if you really want it? You can have hot water and cold water at the same time."

Yeah, well maybe I was taking optimism a little too far, but if you were in my position? You probably would've done the same thing. Tseng appreciated it anyway, judging from the humour in his eyes. He licked his lips as the smirk spread across his face. He looked down at the car one last time, shut the door and walked back around the car again towards me, who just happened to be standing there in a towel way too small for me, being annoyingly illuminated by the green glow of Mako... which probably meant Tseng could see the mindless grin that had somehow managed to attatch itself to my face as he walked back. Not that I gave a damn right now, and gave even less of a damn when my boss was standing in front of me moving soaking wet hair out of my face slowly.

"...I like the sound of that offer." He muttered at me, eyes flickering across my face with that Tseng-copyrighted look of amusement, along with what I could only figure was him judging how I was feeling. To tell the plain and obvious truth this sure as hell wasn't one of the best days of my life, but Tseng being there for at least a few more hours was putting me in a state of mind that was swaying more towards the 'non-manic' area of the scale right now. I managed to force that grin down into a smirk somehow as the annoying but so damn gorgeous asshole in front of me ran his fingers through my hair, at which point my eyes rolled back for a fraction of a second. "It seems as though I'd be mad to refuse."

"Yeah, well I wasn't gonna say it." I smirked absently, enjoying Tseng's touch too damn much to say anything even vaguely intelligent. Well I was allowed to enjoy it, dammit - for about 5 minutes back there, I'd been scared as hell I wasn't gonna get the chance to touch the guy ever again, except by accident when he was handing over more goddamn reports for me to clutter my desk with. And now... well, what was happening pretty much spoke for itself. The one thing that was wrong with this scene was the fact that I was out in the freezing goddamn cold night of Midgar, damp, wearing only a towel, and freezing my ass off, but that didn't really bother me too much due to the fact that Tseng was by now crushed up against me, apparently not in the least bit bothered that he was getting that perfect, stupidly ironed jacket of his damp from me.

If everything had been depending on my nearly non-existant wits right now, I'd probably have been standing out there, Tseng stroking a hand through my hair until I either got pneumonia or just turned into a goddamn Reno-shaped block of ice. Thankfully though Tseng's not as much of an idiot as me, and the next thing I knew I was being walked up the steps backwards, Tseng's arm around me and more importantly - those goddamn intoxicating lips pressed up against mine again with a purr. Well I wasn't exactly gonna protest, here, was I? I may be a loudmouthed son of a bitch, but from time to time I do know when to keep my fat mouth shut - or open, as it happened to be a second later when we were back in the hall, Tseng finally giving up that damn annoying stoicism again and running his tongue against the roof of my mouth. Guess that dumbass lie that had flown outta my mouth had finally run its distance.

A couple of seconds (though it could have been hours, hell I wasn't counting here) later, Tseng kicked the door shut, and almost at the same time I dropped that goddamn annoying towel on the floor. Well... it was in the way, and its not exactly like I've got that much modesty here anyway. Besides, it gave me an extra hand to run up Tseng's back, feeling the muscles under that suit like a starved kid given run of a damn candy store. For a moment there, I swear I completely forgot anything about that bastard vice-president as we ended up leaning against the wall, eventually parting that kiss, both panting from lack of oxygen in our lungs.

Tseng was half soaked by now, not that it actually seemed to bother him for a change. I guess even neat freaks like Tseng can forget being so damn organised sometimes.

He smirked at me for a second as we regained our breath, still brushing a hand through my hair as I grinned back lazily, a little disbelief in there too, after that hiatus had pretty much convinced me Tseng was just gonna leave because of my screw up. Well... its not the first time I've been proved wrong, anyway.

I was trailing a hand along Tseng's shoulders, contented as an asshole like me could possibly be, eyes closed through utter exhaustion when Tseng suddenly burst into damn crazy low purring laughter. I raised an eyebrow and opened an eye, peering out inquisitively. What the hell? Yup, Tseng was laughing alright, chuckling to himself like a psycho out of a goddamn slasher movie as he watched his fingers trail through my matted hair. Now, in love with the strange son of a bitch or not, seeing Tseng laugh to himself is still damn disturbing, especially since the only time he normally laughs to himself at work is when me and Rude have done something wrong, or he knows we're gonna have to suffer - like that time we got sent to oust out an anti-shinra group that had just happened to set up camp in the Midgar sewage farm; so you can kinda tell why I was a litte edgy here. I gulped and cocked my head.

"Wanna care and share, Tseng?" I said. Tseng just smirked for a second, and then leaned in to me.

"Hm... I was just wondering... what Heidigger would say if he found out his two best Turks were actually lovers." He chuckled at me. I didn't laugh... actually I didn't goddamn breathe, for a moment, anyway. There. He'd said a word this guy right here sure as hell hadn't expected from him.

Lovers.

Tseng and Reno - lovers. Has a damn nice ring to it, doncha think? I gulped back a lump in my throat, keeping up a vaguely macho front and pretending that word hadn't affected me as much as it actually had. Lovers, well that sure as hell was never a title I'd thought would ever apply to me before. I just smirked at him, covering up the crack in my voice with a laugh.

"And I'm pretty damn sure it'd be interesting to hear what the Don would have to say if he heard his two prisoners almost scored in his mansion, as well." I smirked, planting my hands on Tseng's shoulders as he grinned back at me, apparently what I said was damn amusing to him. He chuckled at me, crushing his chest closer to mine.

"Well you know him better than me, Reno," he purred, that rumbling Wutaian accent of his vibrating through me as he licked his bottom lip and smirked slyly, "you tell me what he'd think."

"I'm guessing he'd be jealous." Was my reply, and I nodded stupidly, smirk still stuck to my face like it was stuck there with goddamned superglue. "Both of them. Hell I know I would be if I were them."

"True." Tseng's eyes narrowed in amusement and he traced a finger over my lips, followed by a heartfelt sigh. "Reno, what am I going to do with you?" He finally lamented, shaking his head despairingly. What? What had I done now, dammit? I could never tell with Tseng wether he was joking or serious, considering how goddamn straight faced the son of a bitch always was. Ever helpful though, I gave him the only answer my defunct little brain could think of at the time.

"...dock my wages?" I offered eventually, not exactly sure if that was the answer he'd been looking for, but saying it anyway. By now I'd stopped shivering from the cold, and my brain had actually calmed down a hell of a lot as well. Heh... shows ya how much power Tseng had over my psyche anyway. For once I was actually pretty content. Rufus was still in there yeah, but right now kinda over run by the estacy of the fact that Tseng was staying here at least for a couple more hours, and dammit dont I know how sucky that sounds, but I really didn't give a rat's ass. Sure I'm a Turk and we kill, maim, torture, kidnap and do all the nasty shit you can think of under the Sun, but we're allowed to have some kinda goddamn emotion here, and my emotion right now? Fuck, there isn't a way to describe how the hell I was feeling, it'd take 20 goddamn minutes to reel off a list of emotions I was feeling right now. I was still reeling from the fact that Tseng had actually referred to me as his 'lover'. Holy crap...

Ok Reno, the place for the contents of your stomach is in your stomach, not all over Tseng's damn suit. Keep it there.

"I wasn't talking about work." He murmured soothingly, eyes half lidded and one drool-inducingly, damn gorgeous smirk on his face. I took in a breath, smirked back at him and planted my lips on his, sighing at the weird anaesthetic effect Tseng somehow had on me. Well I'd lost 5 minutes worth of this stuff dammit! I was planning on making up for lost time... or I was, until my plan got well and truly stinted by the fact that the kissee drew away before I could get into it. Ah goddamn it, Tseng. I frowned at him as he stepped back away from me, deepening it when he removed his hand from where it had been brushing through my hair so damn relaxingly and turned, walking down the hallway away from me. "Now I believe there's a shower waiting for me?" He looked over his shoulder at me, still standing there with an annoyed frown on my face from the interruption. I coulda sworn I heard him laugh at me, the bastard. He leaned against the bathroom doorway and smirked back down the hallway.

"Yeah, well maybe I double-booked it by mistake." I said smugly, a little annoyed at being kinda abandoned just like that, but way too happy to be much assed with it - for the first time in 9 days I was feeling more like Reno and less like useless scum of the Planet. Now that's a damn good thing to be feeling, trust me here. I slipped a tongue over my teeth as a Renoistic smirk formed on my face. "Gee, I'm sorry Tseng, looks like you're gonna have to turn up to the office in the morning still looking like a damn scarecrow."

"On the contrary," Tseng purred at me, raising an eyebrow as he slipped his jacket off, and I let my eye slip over his toned body as he started unbuttoning his shirt. "there's more than adequate room for two, Reno, and I'm sure whoever they are wouldn't mind sharing a shower with me." Next the pants. I wont bother telling you where my eyes were heading, I'm pretty sure you can figure that one out for yourself. Tseng chuckled to himself, knowing damn well what was going through my mind, for two reasons. One: Tseng can about damn read my mind anyway, and Two: the way I was staring, smirking gormlessly, it was pretty hard to miss. A lick of the lips, and then that eyebrow of his raised higher and he started to slip his boxers down... and then disappeared into the bathroom, dammit. "If anyone who wants to use your shower turns up, Reno... send them straight in."

As much of a dumbass as I am, I knew why Tseng was leaving that invitation open, being careful, in the most goddamn annoying way he could possibly have devised, but the truth was that right now? The reason behind it didn't exist. Rufus was lingering at the back of my mind somewhere, like a goddamn vice-president-shaped vampire bat ready to swoop, but I thought about it for a second, as steam started to pour out of the bathroom. Rufus had nearly won once already tonight, and I was damned if I was gonna give up this good mood and what I hoped was the start of the end of this shit, just to let him win again. Fuck Rufus, he could stick that pretty boy psychotic head of his up his ass for all I cared. I had a naked, wet Tseng in the next room, goddamn it. No way this Turk was giving up that opportunity, you'd have to hit me pretty damn hard round the head to make me crazy enough to give that one up.

So finally - at goddamn last - feeling something like myself instead of a nameless pile of Shinra Scum, I ran a hand through my still matted hair, let a Renoistic, lecherous grin spread crazily across my face, and followed my boss - my 'lover' goddamn it - into the steam-filled bathroom.

Don Corneo and Rufus could go lick Heidigger's crusty ass for all I cared - it was about time I got some kind of a break in all this.

And what a hell of a break I'd been given


	28. Epilogue

12:30.

A loud bell screamed through the innards of Shinra Tower, indicating the end of lunch break and thousands of Shinra clerks, SOLDIERs, and a whole bunch of other mindless employees picked up their jackets and headed out of the cafeteria back to their offices, babbling like a herd of crazy Chocobos as they trailed slowly out of the doors, leaving just one guy sitting in the corner, feet up on the table as he slouched back, watching the waitresses wandering around the place in those oh-so-damn-tempting miniskirts of theirs.

Namely, me.

I sighed lazily as the swing doors at the end of the cafeteria slowly shut, eyes flickering over the waitress just conveniently bending down to pick something up beside my table... and then managed to flicker them right back off again. Pretty damn amazing for a guy like me to give up his share of eye candy, but to be honest, those waitresses didn't interest me that much nowadays. Sure I'm still a guy - a guy who has nearly no control over his way overactive sex drive, especially when the chicks in question were pretty much throwing themselves at me as usual... but right now? I had something a hell of a lot better than just dragging some sex-craved chick up to my office for a little employee misconduct, and I was... painfully learning to keep my libido in check, though if I knew how I'd eat my own goddamn suit.

With me still in it.

I closed my eyes and rested my head against the wall, sliding down lower in the chair and wincing a little when that slow-healing asshole of a wound brushed against the back of the chair, but I was used to that damn thing by now and anyway, I was just glad that the thing was actually gonna be gone soon. Sure there was still a little pain involved, but my back was feeling a hell of a lot easier than it had been a month ago, and that was definitely a good thing.

It had been exactly a month since Shinra Inc's one and only resident fuckup had gone out for his moonlight streak in just a towel and just somehow managed to overbook his shower, and since that night a hell of a lot had happened. Well actually, now you come to mention it - not that much had happened, what with poor wounded Reno here being made to sit in his suddenly magically tidied apartment all day like a damn doll, with most of his alcohol hidden from him by one sexy Wutaian guy with a major stick up his ass. But just the small things that had changed made those 9 days of utter shit beforehand feel like a damn lifetime ago.

Amazing, aint it? How you can go from total psychosis, 'about ready to drink yourself into near death experience-ville', to a state that makes you think you're in fucking cloud-cuckoo land, in just a few days. Sure so my life wasn't exactly the stuff dreams are made of. I wasn't in a penthouse with half a dozen girls dressed in barely there bunny-girl outfits, but for a Turk? With a track record of shit like mine? Right now my forcast would be that my life was starting to look pretty damn rosy - and all thanks to a guy that, a month and a half ago, had looked at me like scum if I'd even asked him the time of day.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when something suddenly loomed over me and blocked the Sun from my closed eyes. The next thing I knew, a giant hand clamped onto my shoulder and started squeezing slowly. Yeah, I know It was getting an old routine by now, but I guess Rude just doesn't have the brain power to think up a new act. I mean lets face it - neither him nor me were hired because of our amazing brainpower.

"Ugh son of a bitch!" I yelped loudly as the pain started to sink in, trying my damndest to rip Rude's hand off my shoulder, and as usual not succeeding. He chuckled evilly down at me as I opened my eyes. Well whatever the hell else had changed over the last month, Rude sure as hell hadn't - Bald, sadistic, dumb as a brick - sunglasses, as usual, stuck stupidly to that damn smug face of his as he slid into the chair opposite me.

"Good to see you, too." He snorted, watching me as I rubbed gingerly at my shoulder. Rude might be my best friend in this scum-sucking city, but that don't mean he aint a complete prick to me. I guess thats the basis of our friendship though, and as bruised as my damn shoulders get, I wouldn't change it for the world.

"Bastard. Don't you know not you ain't supposed to sneak up on a wounded guy?"

"Yeah? Since when did that stop you?"

I snorted. Mostly out of a lack of anything else to say, considering both me and Rude knew he was damn right. Some of the stuff I'd pulled on Rude over the past two years when he was sick was a hundred times worse than getting your shoulder nearly squeezed out of its socket, so I decided to keep my big mouth shut and look at the fluff on my jacket instead. Rude just sat there silently, gormlessly.

"Whaddya want, Rude? Can't you see I'm busy?" Change of topic then. The last thing I needed was giving Rude's slow but devious brain a chance of thinking about paying me back. After all, I'd just been dug out of one heap of shit, and under orders from Tseng I was... trying to play it safe for a while - trying my damndest not to give that bastard pretty boy upstairs anything he could use against me...or Tseng. All I needed now was waking up from my nap in a few hours, and realising Rude had painted my ass green and dumped me naked on the conference room table.

Rude just shrugged and grunted at me, face with about as much expression as a cement block. Not that that makes much difference.

"Tseng sent me down."

"Surprise surprise."

"Wanted me to see if you were slacking off again."

"Sure as hell wasn't expecting that one."

"And to tell you he wanted to see you."

"Oh how damn- " I blinked and cut myself off mid-sentence. Ok, lets just back up a second here... Tseng... wanted to see me? In his office?

My face twisted for a second like I was in the middle of a damn spasm or something, not quite sure what expression to settle on. In the end I settled on something that was kinda a mix between looking like a smug bastard and a confused schoolkid.

Here's the thing about Tseng these days - I've got this head-over-heels, doting-like-a-fucking-girl, jump-in-front-of-a-car-for-you thing going on for him, but at the same time... he still scares the hell outta me. At least during office hours, anyway.

Up until the clock hits five, Tseng still remains that stuck up, sadistic, slave-driving son of a bitch that had made work for me pretty much hell in a bucket for the past two and a half years. Talk about schitzophrenia... the guy's got more personalities than you'd find on a psych ward. I guess thats the only way he can play it, what with... Rufus just looking for any dirt he could get on him in payback for smashing his head against a wall. And without jumping to conclusions here, I guess 'Screwing a male employee' might just be the dirt he needed. So... no insane lustful office sex for Reno here. Dammit I couldn't even talk to the guy on the office line in case Rufus was listening, and I wouldn't put that past that son of a bitch. But still... have you got any idea how difficult it is to control yourself when the same guy that's handing you orders and chiding you like the most miserable bastard on the Planet was sleeping naked on your bed the night before?

Trust me, it ain't the easiest thing to do... not by a long shot.

I blinked across at Rude, who was sitting there with what looked vaguely like a smirk at my reaction, expecting some kind of terror to be gripping my heart just now, and in a way it was. Just because me and Tseng weren't exactly on strangers terms out of work didn't mean he was any easier on me when we were here, in fact he pushed me harder. Hence Rude playing messenger-boy a hell of a lot of the time, and hence why I'd normally ended up being repremanded in Tseng's office at least three times a day so far this week. I like to think he's just doing it so that he can get a glance of my ass as I leave, though.

"The hell does he want, now?" I winced and slumped forward over the table, grimacing when I landed my elbow in a random blob of ketchup by accident.

Rude snorted at me and wiped a hand over that bald head of his. "Probably the usual."

Yeah... the usual being 'to rocket my ass for lack of paperwork', and more than likely Rude was right, though since I'd come back, I'd actually been doing some paperwork rather than trying my damndest to find hiding places for it all. Yup, you bet your ass - Reno here had actually been doing a little work... I guess I learned my lesson a month ago about that shit, even if that lesson had been fucked up to the nines.

I moaned again and slowly slid out of my chair, watching Rude's normally expressionless face form into an evil smirk as I picked up my jacket and slung it over my shoulder.

"I ever tell you what a complete bastard you are, Rude?"

Rude grunted. Asshole, laughing at my expense. Remind me to take some photos of him dressed up like a girl next time he's stone drunk.

"Every damn day." Apparently that was said with some kind of brick-wall-like amusement. How come I can insult that guy to hell and back and he doesn't give a damn? Heh... he probably knows a skinny son of a bitch like me'd end up Reno paté if it came down to a fight. Sometimes it sucks to be friends with a guy that looks like a reject for Mr. Universe.

I shot one last glare at the bald bastard sitting at my table and headed off for the doors at the end of the cafeteria, still trying to work out in my slow little brain wether or not I should be happy to be heading up to Tsengs office right now. Considering how much he loved to see me squirming at work, I was guessing it was technically a bad thing, but even so I couldn't stop the shadow of a smirk creeping up the side of my face.

Me and Tseng... we got a thing going on. Ok so it aint exactly the most straightforward romance but then again, for guys like us you can't expect candy, hearts and flowers. I mean we kill for a living, that sure as hell says enough, but because of that miserable bastard upstairs I'm so pathetically in love with things are working out. Ok so I'm not about to marry the guy, settle down, start wearing a flowery apron and ironing his damn shirts, but the way things are right now?

...I like.

I took a slow walk up those stairs, getting some damn weird looks from the asshole Shinra employees plodding along with their arms full of paperwork. Heh, guess it's a rare thing to see a Turk who doesn't look like they want to rip somebody's guts out.

The most fucked up thing about this situation though, is the way Tseng can still just switch between that ice-cold business Tseng and the other Tseng - the Tseng that I saw a hell of a lot of over those three weeks of sick leave. The Tseng that so annoyingly cleared up my 2-year old collection of pizza boxes from the kitchen while I was still asleep. The Tseng that came over to change my bandages every damn day after work, even if he did snap at me to shut up when I whined. The Tseng that moaned my name at me, and who actually never ended up reporting me for those stolen handcuffs due to the fact they were so damn useful.

'I think they serve a better purpose here than in the hands of some delinquent SOLDIER', I think were his words. Not that I was paying so much attention to what he was saying due to the fact that there were other... more interesting things on my mind at the time...

OK Reno, that memory just isn't worksafe. Shake it off.

I shook a lecherous grin off my face as I finally reached floor 69 and pushed open the swing doors, to be blasted in the face by a huge cloud of coffee scent. Yup, Tseng was up here alright, downing his usual four hundred gallons of caffeine a day, and making sure that every single goddamn person who walked by his office had their lungs coated in the stuff for the rest of the day. The floor was pretty empty right now, though. The only thing I could hear was the sound of my own footsteps as I walked over slowly to Tseng's office door and stood outside for a second. Two deep breaths, one damn difficult removal of a smirk and then I opened the door, to be hit in the face by an even more potent cloud of coffee, which I tried my best not to pass out from.

"Welcome back to floor 69 Reno," came that smooth, calm voice of his before I'd even closed the door behind me, "I'm surprised you even remembered where this office is, the amount of time you've been spending in that cafeteria."

See what I mean about the guy being two different people? The past week I've been back at work, I could swear he just has an identical twin, and that's the one that meets me when that clock hits 5. Ya know, just some other Tseng hidden under the desk or something. I looked down at him, sitting there surrounded by paperwork, scribbling away like a whirlwind-in-a-suit, looking like he was enjoying the hell out of it, too. The model Shinra, kiss ass employee.

Lately I've begun to realise just how insanely good an actor Tseng is. Hell, he's better than me, and trust me, that's saying a lot.

I shrugged offhandedly, a sliver of an evil smirk twitching up on the side of my face. "Hey boss, can I help it if I get hungry a lot? I'm a wounded guy here, gotta keep up my strength."

Yeah... just call me kamikazee Reno. My mouth's got a mind of its own, and it's a mind that loves getting me into shit.

Tseng's eyes flickered up for a fraction of a second from the paperwork, a look of utter contempt on those Wutaian features as he looked me over, before placing the pen down and looking up at me with a look that could kill... if I weren't so damn used to it already.

"So you still consider yourself wounded, Reno?" He raised an eyebrow at me, speaking in a tone of voice that had the word 'trap' written all over it, and hell no wonder - wounded guys don't have the energy to do the stuff I'd been doing with him over the past week. Heh... guess thats one of the downfalls of having your boss as your lover - its a damn sight harder to make a lie stick.

Ugh, screw Tseng... well actually yeah but thats not what I mean - he has an inherrent ability to make me dig myself into huge inescapable holes. Or maybe, even after all this shit I've still not learned to keep my loud mouth shut. Either way...

I half smirked at him, sticking my hands sloppily into my pockets "Well yeah boss, can't you see me? I'm practically dying here."

A smirk. Not just a normal smirk either, but one of those annoying business smirks he sometimes gets. You know... the ones that look like they've had all the warmth surgically removed?

"Is that so...?" He mused, sitting back in his chair. I just watched him silently with a gulp as he opened a draw in front of him and pulled out some nameless form, placing it neatly down on the desk before he looked back up at me with that eyebrow raised in amusement. "Well then maybe you'd like to spend a few more weeks recovering from it... with a suspension."

Damn, what a punchline.

That eyebrow of his went up even further. For some goddamn reason, Tseng was finding my reaction pretty hilarious. Oh yeah sure, a walking comedy, that's me. But you know, considering this guy actually had some idea what the hell had been happening to me lately you would've figured he'd give me a little leeway and not be such a cold clockwork asshole from 9 to 5. Sure I could just about cope wthout the insane lustful office sex, but a little compassion around here wasn't too much to ask. I stared at him blankly for a second, looking for some kind of joke in his face, but Tseng looked serious.

"You're gonna suspend me for taking a long lunch hour? Holy crap cut me some slack here Tseng."

"Your definition of a long lunch hour seems to constitute anything between three and five hours sleeping in the cafeteria." He growled at me from across the desk, filling out the form in front of him at the same time. "You might call that a long lunch hour Reno... I call it goofing off, and that is definitely no way for one of my Turks to act, especially one who's just been promoted."

"Holy hell Tseng!" I moaned. He could suspend me, sure, but he could bet that damn annoying ass of his that I wasn't gonna go down without a fight. "What the hell is your problem? Why don't you try taking the damn stick outta your a-" That sentence trailed off and I blinked stupidly as Tseng's words slowly sank into my thick skull. Never been exactly the brightest batch of mako in the reactor, and I guess that was kinda clear from the stupid look on my face as I stared down at the by now slightly smug looking Tseng sitting in front of me.

"...Promoted?"

Remind me to get a brain transplant next chance I get? Hell even if they swap it for a chimp's, it's got to be better than mine.

"Your medical file never indicated you had hearing problems, Reno."

One thing that hasn't changed is Tseng's sense of humour... or at least I guess its humour - as much time as I spend around him nowadays, sometimes its still beyond me to figure out when he's joking, when he's half-joking, and when he wants to hack your damn head off with a desk ruler. And this was one of those times.

"Promotion? What the hell to?"

He leaned across the desk and handed me the paperwork in front of him. "Every organisation needs a second in command." He said in that dry business voice, eyes narrowed just barely as he watched me look down at the paper in my hand.

Me? I was still trying to decide how the hell I was meant to be reacting,wether this was some kind of trick, wether this was Tseng's idea of entertainment. but yup - right there on the paper, in plain black and white, was my name... followed by the words 'Turks Special Operations, Second in command.'

Well fuck... someone slap me here because I'm pretty damn sure this must be a dream. And a weird one at that.

"Despite your tardiness, the fact that you habitually act like an untrained chimp, and your continuing problem with authority, your work has improved, Reno." Tseng stared at me seriously and stood up from the chair, clasping his hands together behind his back in that classic stoic pose of his. Well gee thanks, Tseng. You've got a real nack for complimenting people, aintcha?

"Your field work is good... just consider that this promotion would have arrived much sooner if you'd spent less time sleeping, and more time working." A quick nod at the paperwork in my hand. "Your first job as my new Second in Command is in there. Make sure you carry it out as a professional."

And that was it, dammit. No 'congratulations Reno', no 'I knew you had it in you,' and no 'Well done! I'll buy you a new car and a bottle of whiskey.'

... well okay, that last one was a little far fetched, but I'd expected something... whereas all I got was Tseng's back as he seemed to completely forget I was even there, wandered off to one of the filing cabinets and started flicking idly through it, all still with me standing there looking like I'd been hit by the fucking Midgar train, trying my damndest to work out what had just happened.

One thing that suddenly leapt to mind though was that Tseng must've known about this for days - days when I'd been in his apartment for hours after work, and he'd said nothing. Not a damn word, probably just looking forward to seeing my face right now. being able to see my totally dumbass look when he handed me those papers, and hell I sure hadn't disappointed him.

A few seconds later that sneaky bastard sat back down with another nameless piece of paperwork and started scribbling, ignoring the stoned looking redhead in the middle of his office. I blinked and looked down at my name on the file again.

"That mean I get a payrise?"

"That means you'd better not spend it all on certain... intoxicating substances." He hissed, pretty much shattering what I'd been thinking of using it for, "Or I might decide you can't cope with the responsibilities you've been given."

"Tseng - "

"Reno." The voice drifted up with an agitated sigh from Tseng's mouth, continuing to work at the file on his desk without even a glance at me. "When promotion is offered it's wise not to question it, or it may not be offered again." A pause. "Am I making myself clear?"

It was my turn to sigh. How... in the hell can that guy read my mind without even looking at me? It freaks me out, I swear. Sometimes makes me wonder if he's even actually human and not just some damn freak of an alien. Nonetheless I couldn't help letting the traces of a smirk appear on my face.

"Yeah..."

"Then you're dismissed."

So with one last glance at that miserable, sneaky, pen-pushing, but oh-so-lovable asshole in front of me, I turned on my heel and headed for the door, letting the smirk spread even further across my finally accepting face.

Smug...? Me...? Naw, you're imagining things. Smug would be when Rude found out I'd just been promoted above him and I started rubbing it in his face, that'd be Reno smug.

"Oh, and Reno..."

I halted in my tracks and turned around as soon as he said my name, wiping the look off my face as much as I could before his eyes glanced up briefly at me.

Knowing Tseng, he was probably gonna demote me now just for the hell of it.

"7:30 OK by you?"

A stupid lopsided grin formed on my face.

"Yeah... 7:30's good."

One precise nod later and he turned back to his paperwork, scribbling fluidly with a muttered 'good', not noticing the look of total and utter inane smugness I had on my face as I escaped back into the coridoor and headed to the lift. Why bother with the damn stairs? I was second in command of the Turks. I was officially second best Scumbag in Midgar, may as well leave the stairs to the servants from now on, huh?

Just call me Mister Reno. Kiss my ass, lick my boots and bow at my feet, then maybe, just maybe I might give you the time of day.

That was pretty much all I was thinking about for about half a minute as I waited for that stupidly slow lift to arrive ...or at least, all I was thinking about up until the lift doors slid open and I saw that suit...

that white suit.

One minute my face was in a look of total disbelieving fucking happiness and the next thing I knew it was frozen there, and my throat felt as if it were being squeezed shut.

Holy shit.

Rufus.

I'd only seen him once since I'd got back, and that was in the all-staff meeting two days ago. I hadn't even looked at him, he'd just been some fucking piece of crap in the corner of my eye, and I'd been hoping to hell that that was all I'd have to see of that crossdressing perverted son of a bitch. Ever. Heh... yeah I'm a wishful thinker, but then who the hell isn't?

I gulped. Hard, wondering wether it wasn't too late to just turn around and take the stairs, but shit Rufus' eyes were fixed on me, standing silently in the lift with that same look of 'you're just another piece of scum on my shoe.' But I knew damn well that there was more going on in that screwed up little mind than that. Still I couldn't run. I mean, I could just imagine what a happy it'd give him if I just turned and ran whenever I came across him. There was no way I was gonna give him that pleasure. So...

Deep breath Reno, one, two, three...

He stood there silent like a damn statue as I stepped into the lift, trying to keep my eyes away from that white suit and on anything else - the keypad, the floor, the light fitting! But I could feel those psychotic eyes boring into me as I stood there and pushed the button for the ground floor. The lift 'dinged' a second later and it juddered stupidly into action, going about as slow as it could possibly go, almost on fucking purpose. I was almost managing to ignore him, seriously I was... until I happened to glance in his direction and caught those eyes. Those eyes that had seen me beg like a little bitch not a month ago. Half consciously I realised one of my fists were starting to shake... either it was planning to smash his nose to hell again like before, or it was going to spread right through my body and I'd end up some pathetic pile of shaking skin and bones. Either way wasn't exactly my idea of perfect, so all I could do was clench my fist tighter and hope to hell that I could keep my nerve - though considering the situation I was in, that was gonna be harder than it looked.

"I heard about your promotion." He said smoothly, flicking the hair out of his face like the pompous pretty boy he was. "Congratulations." I just stood there. Dammit even just the sound of his voice made me shudder now. How the hell had it got to this point? I'm a Turk, after all... head up, shoulders back, face blanker than Tseng after I'd cracked a joke about the dot on his forehead. At least I hoped that was what I looked like right now.

Fuck it Reno, stay calm. Deep breaths, don't panic, thats what he wants you stupid son of a bitch.

I nodded wordlessly, staring at the crack in the lift doors as though I was trying to figure out a way of scrambling the hell out of here through them. I decided the best way to keep my head was watching the floor numbers tick by on the screen above. Floor 63... 62... 61...

Rufus' hand just happened to touch mine as the lift creaked downwards. I nearly flinched at it too, but I was holding my breath by now, that fist of mine still shaking like jello in a damn earthquake. The bastard next to me must have seen it, because the next thing I heard from him was a quiet chuckle and he turned to face me. Shit. My stomach churned like someone was in there with one of those electric whisk things against my stomach wall.

"I would be careful if I were you, however... The higher someone climbs the more... severe punishments tend to be if they go wrong. And they can't always rely on their superiors to bail them out." Those last three words were said as though he was choking on the fact he was even in the same room as me, the amount of apparent utter disgust he managed to convey in them. If there's one thing I can say about the scumbag, its the fact that he sure as hell knows how to play on someone's fears. Especially mine.

Damn... had I just turned into a schoolgirl or what? Fuck Reno, get some goddamn balls and stop acting like such a pansy.

"Mmm... how's the back? Healing nicely I trust?" He said slyly and a superior looking smirk crept onto his schitzophrenic face. I shuddered - dammit I couldn't help it! I thought I'd got over this shit by now but I could almost feel that fucking hand on my back again for a second. I flinched, cursing myself like hell as I did it and the next thing I heard was a dark chuckle from pretty boy Shinra. Hah, and they say the Turks are the scum of Shinra. Well sure we are but take a look a little higher up and you'll find something a hell of a lot worse than us dumb bastards.

That chuckle though... hell it did something to me. I dont have a clue what happened but for just one second, for one tiny second the shake in my arm disappeared. I felt a pang in my chest and I snarled at him.

"How about the nose... you fucked up piece of shit?"

The next moment was - arguably - the worst moment that had happened to me in the last three weeks. The next moment was the one that I'd been dreading happening ever since I'd gotten into that damn lift; which right now, seemed a couple of years back.

It was the moment Rufus the fuckup Shinra lost the plot again, the moment when psycho-boy decided he wasn't gonna take any of my mouth. Before I'd even had a chance to work out what the hell I'd just said, I heard a thud behind me and Rufus was suddenly right in my face, blue eyes slicing into mine, an arm across my throat. A few seconds later, when my brain caught up my back started to sting like fuck. I suddenly realised the thud I'd heard was me...crashing into the elevator wall with the weight of a lifesized Vice-president as leverage. The file in my hand dropped to the floor. Ah... shit.

"Don't get too comfortable." He snapped viciously. "If I had my way I'd have you writhing under me right now, begging me to stop."

He pressed an arm further up against my throat, damn near stopping my breathing. Me? I was still in shock. This was all that I'd been dreading, those three weeks sick leave - that I'd have to face up to this sick little fuck at some point, but it had come a hell of a lot sooner than I'd planned, and I was nowhere near ready for it. I was fucking frozen, beads of sweat forming on my forehead as my head swam in a panic. Trust me if it had been anyone else slamming me up against an elevator wall? They'd be dead before they hit the floor. But this wasn't just anyone and oh fuck didn't my brain know it. I gasped silently for air as his face formed a calm glare, a slight sneer curling the side of his lip. "If it wasn't for that Wutaian piece of scum I'd do it, too. I'd silence that overactive mouth of yours right now. If he and the other one had died when they were supposed to..."

He trailed off there, almost talking to himself, the crazy son of a bitch. I was too concerned with trying to get enough air to actually breathe to listen to that properly... for a couple of seconds anyway, and even when I did hear it it didn't make any fucking sense to me, the guy had totally gone out of his damn tree. Or so I thought, until finally, staring into Daddy Shinra's little psycho's eyes, something clicked. And my brain nearly exploded inside my head.

"Holy shit..." I grabbed at Rufus' arm and pushed it away, to be rewarded with a hefty punch to the gut. I grunted, stomach just about jumping out through my mouth. Spoiled son of a bitch or not, that guy knew how to punch like a pro, and I had to gasp my next words pinned against the wall, eyes wide.

"You're the one that tipped off the Don."

There was a silence after that. One hell of a silence, in fact, just the feel of the lift juddering down the shaft and me panting to get my breath back as a wicked smirk formed on Rufus' face. You bet your ass it was him, and damn but he looked pretty impressed with himself for it. Son of a bitch.

"You're not as stupid as you look, Reno." He crooned at me, reaching up to pet my hair like I was some kind of damn dog. I knocked his hand away, this time he just laughed darkly at me and got closer, pristene white suit pressed up against my crappy dark blue one. "My old man runs this company like a freak show, if I could get my hands on it I'd make sure Shinra was respected, not laughed at. Don Corneo was simply a means to an end. Besides..." He narrowed his eyes at me and flicked a bang of loose hair out of my face, "it was a way of killing two birds with one stone. Literally."

The guy was talking like a total schitzo, calm as hell and twice as sleazy. I have to admit I was shaking like hell by now, remembering his office, that hospital bed, my damn office when he had his hands all over me like I was a piece of fucking meat. The last thing I needed was a repeat performance right now, especially after what the fuck he'd just said -

Tseng and me... we'd nearly fucking died because of this bastard. Tseng had got the shit kicked out of him because of Rufus little bastard Shinra. I'd got the wound in my back because of this vicious little prick, because he was having some schitzophrenic, adolescent little sulk.

He'd set Tseng and Rude up that day on damn purpose.

Remember that shake I mentioned earlier on? The one that was coming out of pure and utter goddamn horror at the idea of what was going on? Well, that was still there, but it was starting to be accompanied by something else now. My fist clenched, I could feel my face curling up into a snarl. I could remember those damn bruises all over Tseng's chest from whatever the hell the Don had done to him. Bastard. Like Turks aint got enough problems without fucked up pretty boys setting them up to get killed. My entire body started shuddering and I could feel something - a noise, some tiny little hum at the back of my throat that started to grow damn fast as I remembered the shit that me and Tseng had had to go through that day. The next thing this overprotective son of a bitch could remember, I let out what pretty much passed as a roar and headbutted the smug asshole in front of me, sending him flying backwards into the opposite wall with a satisfying crunch.

Fuck with me, kick the crap out of me, bend me over the desk and screw me stupid, and as long as I dont think I have any choice but the slums, I'll ...somehow put up with it. But once you start screwing with Tseng and Rude? This Turk takes a trip to Psychoville.

Rufus reeled for a second, a hand clamped to that perfect forehead of his and glared at me dazedly. If I'd been in my right mind I would've stopped at that, but I was outta my mind. Trust me I dont often get like this - if there's one thing I've taken on board from Tseng's insistant, mind-numbing lecturing, its the fact that unless you want your brains splattered against an alleyway wall, you cant let yourself lose control, but right now I was so angry with this son of a bitch I couldn't help it. Before the guy even had time to recover I'd grabbed his hair and slammed him head first into the elevator wall.

Was it... wrong of me to be smirking to myself when I heard him yell out in pain when that newly healed nose hit the wall? Well fuck if it was I didn't want to be right. It was too much damn fun being wrong.

"Urgh!" He moaned a second later, backing off from the wall. He stared at me with that ice cold psychotic look of his as I finally backed off, panting hard and shaking like fuck as I realised what the hell I'd just done, not that I regretted it. I guess my brain had just had enough of being screwed around with by the perverted little fuck, and the thought that he'd nearly killed me and Tseng had just about pushed it over that edge of what it was prepared to take.

I backed off to the other side of the elevator, a level glare on Rufus as he regained his composure. Fuck only knows how I was managing it, the way my damn stomach was shaking right now. I felt like the whole scene was playing out in slow motion, like I was some spectator in a twisted one-man show or something. If I'd had my brain in the right gear, my head would have exploded in fucking panic by now, but all I could do was stand there, shaking like hell, fists clenched in case he tried anything else.

"If it weren't for Tseng..." He panted, wiping the blood from his normally smug looking mouth, a cold smirk on his face "then I'd have you sent right back to the gutter where you came from."

Cue Reno's pretty damn rapier-like wit. Dont get me wrong, the guy still scared me to hell, but I was finding some sort of courage from fuck knows where right now, and after hearing Rufus had been the cause of me and Tseng's near-death experience, anger was being added to the brew, and it was more than overriding the fear I had of him. Thats why, after a second letting that threat sink in, I answered back with such a snarl I'd bet my ass It'd even give Tseng a goddamn heart attack if he saw it.

"And I bet you'd write my damn dismissal letter in lipstick, huh?"

...Boom.

Rufus paused, colour draining from his face fast. That's when he finally straightened up, putting that ice cold front back up, eyes totally vacant of any expression, though his voice sure as hell held all the expression it needed for both of them.

"Tseng's not going to be here forever," He hissed quietly at me, allowing the stupid pompous smirk spread across his bloody lip a second later as the lift doors finally at goddamn last dinged open and sunlight streamed in, "...and neither will my old man. When that time comes you can be sure you're going to be screaming your apologies to me over my desk." A hand trailed over my crotch as he said that and I flinched just briefly, not long enough for him to notice this time, I wasn't going to give the bastard that satisfaction. Just remember what the hell Tseng said: dont act like pansy - head up, shoulders back, eyes fixed. You're a Turk. Start acting like one.

I steadied the shake in my arm and forced a glare onto my face.

"And until then, you might wanna stick to picking out purses, pretty boy... or Daddy might just find out the truth about his kid's after hours activities."

I aint exactly sure wether Rufus was planning to say anything after that, but then again I didn't give him the goddamn chance. Before he even had the chance to open his mouth with another of those stupid fucking threats, I'd slammed a knee into the guys nuts. Hard.

I'm not a sadistic guy by nature, I'm not the kinda guy that goes around kicking people in the nuts for fun. Hell a lot of the time I'll sympathise with the guy its happening to, but if you think I was about to sympathise this time, you really aughtta be in a padded room. This bastard deserved it and a hell of a lot more for the shit he'd put me through. If he wasn't the bosses son I would've ripped his nuts clean off and fed them to him, but this was all I could stretch to right now and damn didn't it feel good.

No, no forget good, it felt... fucking fantastic.

I remembered him saying... something as I just picked up that file and headed out into the lobby. I remembered it sounded like he'd just had a cheesegrater rammed down his throat, I remembered it being some kind of threat, and I remembered the look on his face of pure and utter pain as I took one last glance at the scummy son of a bitch, but to be honest I didn't really give a rat's ass what he'd just said. Still shaking like a damn leaf, but with one hell of a sense of euphoria pumping through my veins, I listened to the grunt behind me, adjusted my goggles and pulled out a cigarette as I heard him press the button and head back up on the elevator.

So...

Despite the fact that I'm an underpayed, underappreciated Shinra scumbag, things are kind of working out for me nowadays. I know damn well I'm a Turk, and for the short time it's gonna last my life is never gonna be perfect, but a month ago my fucking mind was falling apart at the seams, and now? I'm lovers with a guy who I thought would never look twice at me. A guy who I'd always thought would rather chew off his own balls than touch me.

Plus I'd just kicked the sickest asshole in Midgar right in the nuts, which to me, felt like one hell of an achievement.

Yeah, in a way, I know Rufus' crappy little threats ain't that empty. I know damn well he was probably nursing his nuts up the lift, thinking of some way to get me into more shit than I already am. But I'm good at ignoring stuff... its one of my talents, and I was sure as hell putting it into operation right now. I flicked my ponytail out of my face, winked at the receptionist, stuck my hands in my pockets and headed for the door, examining the file in my hands as I lit up and walked over to the crappy car which I'd bought yesterday with the last three weeks sick pay... and which me and Tseng had already pretty much stained to hell.

So I guess a guy can be proved pretty wrong from time to time huh? And though I'm pretty sure I'm never gonna reach my 30th birthday unless someone suddenly decides I'm useless and retires me to some Wutaian beach somewhere, hell I'm a slum rat remember? I dont need a lot - just a bottle of cheap booze, a pack of cigs and a certain miserable, sexy Wutaian bastard to annoy the hell out of. Fuck the Don. Fuck Rufus, the perverted little prick. Right now?

Right now... Tseng's company, and thats pretty much all I need.


	29. Author's Note

ts been over a year since I first started writing this fic.

I guess what they say is true - time flies, and it really did writing this. about this time last year I was wondering if I'd ever get it finished, but yup - its finished now - up there for people to see in all its total strangeness and... I have to say it. I'm damn proud of how it turned out.

You see... this story started out as what I thought was going to be a two or three chapter story - Reno gets called to Rufus' office, Rufus does the dirty on him, Reno goes kind of angsty and Tseng takes him under his wing. You have to bear in mind I'd only been in the fandom a few months when I did my first draft of chapter 1, and I didn't know as much about it as I did when I submitted it here. Anyway after writing the first draft I realised just how complicated this was going to be. There was too much of a story to fit into one or two chapters, and I wanted to go into Reno's past as well - as much for myself as for anyone reading it. The next thing I knew chapters were just rolling out from heck knows where in my mind, and before I knew what had happened I had a full blown novel-length fanfic spanning out in front of me and a story line which from this side of the paper at least seemed pretty involved. So I'm hella proud for how it turned out, oh yesh. Even if nobody else in the world likes it, I'll love it no matter what :3

Oh... and for anyone reading -yes I do think the red on Reno's face are scars. While we're on the subject, I just want to make this clear - The Reno I wrote here Is not the Reno from Advent Children. I'm taking this from the original. Every main character in Tseng's Company is based on how their personalities are in FF7. I started writing this waay before I even knew there was going to be a movie, so everything I got here isn't even remotely influenced by that. In fact, I dont much like the movie. I prefer the characters as they were in the original so if you've only seen the movie so far? Play the game. The graphics may be utter crap but the story and the characters are so much ...well, better xD So, no Advent Children Reno in this if thats what you were thinking - this is Reno from the original, and if anyone tries to tell me otherwise I'll rip their heads off and use them to go bowling *smile*

Oh yeah - a couple of things that really bugged me in two of the reviews. Scuse me if it seems kinda bitchy thing to do, but these few things bugged me and I really wanted to have my say.

'You had Rufus abuse Reno, and you had Reno enjoy it.'

Well this is pretty simple. Despite what you might think, I did actually do some research on this subject, I didn't just think 'hey what a great idea'. Its more than possible for the body to get aroused even if the brain doesn't want it to happen. I think most people who read it understood that was what was happening to him.

Secondly - 'Reno could take Rufus'

Probably. But in case you didn't notice, on all three occasions Reno wasn't on top of his game, AND also if you didn't notice - Rufus was blackmailing Reno. Fighting back would mean Reno lost his job, and if Reno lost his job, he'd be sent back to the slums. There. Sorted.

Finally... I know a lot of people have criticised the overuse of swearing. There are a lot of surplus 'fucks', 'damns' and other swearwords in there that seem a little... dislocated. I'd be the first to criticize that, since I agree - towards the end of the story there's a lot of that, and that's something I intend to rectify as soon as I have the time and patience to trawl through about eleven chapters and edit everything. As I've always said though - this is, and always has been, a work in progress. Unfortunately, the excess cursing is more down to my insecurity at the time about Reno's characterisation, rather than his actual character. So there, I'll put my hand up and say yup, I screwed up.

As for the spelling mistakes and grammatical mistakes people have referred to - that's cause I don't have a beta reader. There are also a few made up words (i.e 'asshattedness') Trust me - they're MEANT to be in there. I've got a good grasp of the english language, and I already know these words don't exist. My idea of Reno though, has a very quirky style of speaking, and I like it. So nyeh :P

Anyway onto the nice stuff - Thanks a lot to everyone who reviewed my story, from beginning to end, it kept me going, knowing that people were enjoying it a lot so THANK YOU! everyone who's reviewed (or who is hopefully still gonna review *hopeful smile*) have helped me. Seeing reviews up here have really helped me keep writing when at times I wasn;t sure I still could. I'm gonna go on to some individual thank yous from here - to some people who helped me along a lot, so here we go -

Entrenous

Thanks a lot. Seriously more than a lot - thanks to infinity and back for getting me into Tseng and Reno - into the Turks - into Yaoi, actually. If it weren't for her, I probably wouldn't have ever found this fandom. If you liked my story, it was influenced a lot by the first story of hers I read - Tough Love. Its on AFF, so check it out. Its one heck of a masterpiece.

Renea

Thanks a bunch sis, I promised I'd finish it for ya! She acted as my Beta tester, and as the person I bounced ideas off from time to time. She helped me get Tseng into Reno's apartment when I couldn't figure out a way xD So thank Renea for your TxR smut - if it weren't for her, Tseng would never have even gotten near Reno's sofa, so thank her for it xD

ChibichibiNekochan

For actually following the link to my journal and seeing my pissed-offedness at some stuff. Sending me an email that helped me get over the idea of stopping writing this fic. I'm hella glad for it now - thanks a bunch for both those emails, they meant a lot :3

Calliope purple for the incessent reminders that I had to put some smut into it xD Hope you got all the smut you wanted, maybe you'll stop pelting me with fish now xDD

apart from that all I really want to say on this note is thanks a bunch to everyone who reviewed. It really did help me pep up and become more determined to write. Hey, if you still want to leave a review - dont hesitate! Seriously I'm still writing here, it'll make me type that much faster if more people review this one, because then I'll want to show you what else I can do.

Oh... and...

There IS A SEQUEL, called 'Taking care of business' and the first few chapters are up there. Most of the cursing and spelling errors have been cleared up, though at the minute that's on hold while I concentrate on other fandoms. I've been writing Reno for about two years now, and I felt like it was time for a break, as he was causing me to swear like a damn sailor every three minutes in real life xD. I'm currently writing Naruto fanfic, if that interests anyone. :3

Anyway thats all I have to say. Much luff~

Turkaholic


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